Love's Only Deception

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘And the whole world grinds to a halt,’ he moaned.

  ‘Just for one day,’ she smiled.

  ‘One?’ he said disgustedly. ‘It seems to get longer every year. Most places make no distinction between Christmas and New Year now.’

  ‘Grouch!’ she teased.

  ‘Four days non-stop of Marilyn’s mother and you’d be a grouch too,’ he grimaced.

  ‘Never mind, it will soon be over.’

  ‘You’re mighty cheerful for someone who’s supposedly spending Christmas on her own.’ He looked at her with questioning eyes.

  Callie told him what he wanted to hear, that far from being alone she was going to be with Logan. ‘Would you like a Christmas drink?’ she offered.

  ‘Whisky?’ he asked hopefully.

  ‘With water or without?’

  ‘With, please. I guess he likes whisky,’ Bill said thoughtfully.

  ‘Hmm?’ Callie asked vaguely as she prepared his drink.

  ‘The new man in your life,’ he sipped his whisky appreciatively, ‘he drinks whisky, right?’

  ‘Right.’ She sat down opposite him, sipping her own Martini. ‘But he’s never been here—well, not after the first time anyway,’ she blushed. ‘I just got the whisky in because—well, because—’

  ‘In case he did come in again,’ Bill mocked.

  ‘Yes.’ Her blush deepened.

  ‘And do you think he’s going to?’

  ‘Probably later tonight,’ she revealed shyly, knowing that until Logan had told his mother their plans that she couldn’t even tell her best friends she was going to marry him.

  ‘Lucky you. I take it it’s the same man?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Marilyn will be pleased.’

  ‘Marilyn already knows,’ she taunted. ‘I told her yesterday on the telephone.’

  ‘She could have told me,’ he moaned. ‘So I suppose my report gets put aside until after the holiday?’

  ‘Oh, at least until then,’ she confirmed, thinking of her wedding in the New Year.

  ‘So much for slaving long into the night—’

  ‘Oh, Bill, you didn’t!’ She frowned her dismay, glaring at him as he grinned at her. ‘No, you didn’t,’ she sighed. ‘When will I learn not to take you seriously?’

  ‘Never, I hope. I get a lot of laughs out of you,’ he added.

  ‘Thanks! For a lawyer you’re pretty flippant. Nothing at all like Mr Seymour,’ she added mockingly.

  ‘Professional etiquette prevents me from passing comment on James Seymour.’

  Callie giggled. ‘In other words, you found him as much of an old misery as I did, but your professionalism stops you from agreeing with me.’

  ‘Something like that,’ Bill acknowledged.

  ‘A typical noncommittal answer!’

  ‘Lawyers are meant to be noncommittal.’ He swallowed the last of his whisky before standing up. ‘I was going to ask you to spend Christmas with us, but in the circumstances…’ he gave a knowing wink. ‘Well, here’s one Father Christmas who’d better be on his way. Marilyn’s more excited than Paul is,’ he revealed indulgently.

  ‘Paul is still too young to understand.’

  ‘Edith is convinced he knows exactly what’s going on.’ He raised his eyes heavenwards. ‘Grandmothers!’

  ‘I’m sure yours doted on you too.’ Her eyes were a warm brown.

  ‘Probably,’ he sighed. ‘Have a nice Christmas, Callie. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t.’

  ‘There’s no answer to that!’

  ‘I’ll take that as a compliment,’ he grinned.

  ‘Typical male!’ she tutted. ‘Give my love to Marilyn. And a hug for Paul.’

  ‘I will.’

  Callie set about putting the tree up in a bucket once Bill had gone. When she had looked at it in the shop the tree had looked perfect, but once in her flat it looked much too big, reaching almost to the ceiling.

  As usual she had trouble finding the decorations, finally running them to earth in Jeff’s studio. She spent a few minutes in the room that had been totally his, feeling close to him, seeking his approval of the man she Was going to marry. The room felt warm, comforting, almost as if Jeff did actually show her he approved. Jeff had believed that no human being should be alone, that alone you died. Yes, Jeff would have approved of her marrying Logan, would have liked the other man’s strength, his confidence. She left the studio with a feeling of well-being.

  She had never felt so happy in her life, so breathlessly alive, wanting to shout her happiness to the whole world. Oh, it was going to be a wonderful Christmas, the best she had ever had!

  CHAPTER SIX

  SHE had already partly decorated the room when Logan arrived shortly before ten, suddenly feeling shy as she opened the door to him.

  ‘Very seasonal!’ He laughingly picked a piece of green-coloured tinsel from her hair, and bent to kiss her lightly on the nose. ‘Happy Christmas, darling.’

  ‘And you. Oh, Logan…!’ She looked up at him with love-filled eyes, suddenly feeling tearful, suddenly feeling too much happiness at once.

  ‘Let’s go inside,’ he groaned, leaning back against the closed door to pull her roughly into his arms, his mouth devouring hers with a fierce passion. ‘I missed you today,’ he murmured into her hair.

  ‘I missed you too.’ Callie trembled in his arms.

  ‘God…!’ His eyes darkened as he looked down at her youthful beauty, smoothing the straight golden hair from her face. ‘You look like a child,’ he muttered.

  She smiled at him. ‘But I don’t act like one,’ she provoked.

  ‘No.’ He gave a husky laugh, his arm about her shoulders as they went through to the lounge. ‘I see you’ve started.’ He looked appreciatively at the decorations she had already managed to put up.

  ‘Mm, but I couldn’t reach the corners.’

  For the next half hour they finished putting up the paper chains, holly and mistletoe, although the latter proved to be uproarious, as Logan insisted on kissing her every time she pinned a piece of mistletoe to a picture or door.

  ‘Stop it, Logan!’ she finally giggled.

  He moved to attach a piece of the green, cream-fruited bush to the light-fitting. ‘Now there’s nowhere in the room you can go without my being able to kiss you,’ he said with satisfaction, very relaxed in a light grey shirt and black trousers, his black jacket discarded in a chair.

  ‘Except the tree,’ Callie taunted, pulling out the box of decorations to begin hanging the gaily coloured baubles on the lush green branches.

  Logan looked at the tree admiringly. ‘Did you carry this in yourself?’ he frowned.

  ‘Yes,’ she glanced round at him. ‘Why?’

  ‘It looks heavy—’

  ‘It was.’ She moved to stand beside him, her arm about his waist.

  ‘You could have hurt yourself.’ His arm tightened about her shoulders.

  ‘But I didn’t,’ she placated, kissing him on the cheek. ‘Come and help me decorate the tree.’

  ‘Then can I give you your present?’

  She blushed at the warmth in his grey eyes. ‘Yes,’ she answered huskily.

  ‘Right,’ he said briskly. ‘Let’s get the tree done quickly.’

  It looked really beautiful when they had finished, the coloured lights shining through the tinsel they had draped over the whole tree.

  Callie’s eyes glowed as she looked around the room. ‘It all looks beautiful,’ she said excitedly. ‘Oh, Logan, I can’t tell you what having you here means to me! I—I thought I was going to be alone, and it—it would have been the first time that had happened.’ She looked down at her hands. ‘As a child I had my parents, then Mummy, and then Jeff.’

  ‘The man who died?’

  ‘Yes,’ she swallowed hard.

  ‘You still miss him?’

  ‘Just a little,’ she nodded. ‘He—he meant a lot to me.’

  ‘I can see that,’ Logan said huskily.

 
She gave a bright smile. ‘You can have your present now. I’ll just go into the bedroom—’

  ‘Exactly where I wanted to go.’ He moved purposefully towards her.

  ‘Logan!’ Callie looked at him with wide eyes. ‘I meant your present is in there.’

  ‘Yes.’ His eyes brimmed with laughter.

  ‘Will you behave!’

  ‘Do I have to?’

  ‘No,’ she sighed her defeat, and moved into his arms, her face raised invitingly.

  For long moments he was tempted. ‘No,’ and he finally put her away from him, ‘it wouldn’t be a good idea.’

  Callie pouted her disappointment. ‘I was only teasing.’

  ‘I wasn’t.’ He relaxed in one of the armchairs. ‘Off you go.’

  ‘Logan Carrington, you—’

  ‘Yes?’ he raised one eyebrow.

  ‘Nothing,’ she snapped. ‘I’ll get your presents.’

  Logan had taken advantage of her absence to go down to his car, and five parcels waited for her on the coffee-table, one of them almost the size of the table itself.

  Callie frowned as she looked down at it. ‘What on earth is that?’

  ‘Open it and see,’ he laughed.

  ‘You open yours first.’ She handed him his parcels, feeling a little awkward, hoping that he would like them.

  She had bought him a ridiculously extravagant robe in pure silk, a contrasting cravat, a large bottle of the aftershave he usually wore, and of course the cufflinks. His pleasure at all of the gifts was genuine, and she knew she had chosen well.

  ‘Now you,’ he invited. ‘And save that big one until last.’

  ‘Spoilsport!’

  ‘Go on,’ he laughed.

  Logan’s gifts were even more extravagant than her own, a huge bottle of her favourite perfume, a large box of chocolates, a nightgown and négligé in the sheerest white silk she had ever seen.

  ‘For our wedding night,’ he told her softly.

  ‘It’s beautiful!’ Her voice was husky.

  ‘Now this one,’ and he held out a flat square parcel.

  Callie ripped the paper off, looking down at the jewellery box with wide eyes, undoing the clasp with shaking fingers. Inside, on the royal blue velvet, nestled a beautiful gold and diamond necklace.

  She looked at Logan with disbelieving eyes. ‘For me?’

  ‘Well, it certainly isn’t for me,’ he drawled.

  ‘Oh, Logan!’ she threw herself into his waiting arms, kissing him with more exuberance than accuracy. ‘I love you!’

  ‘I should hope so,’ he teased, his grey eyes twinkling with amusement. ‘I don’t think I’d approve of your kissing any other man like that.’

  She nuzzled against his chest. ‘Only you, darling. Only ever you.’

  ‘Open the big present now,’ he encouraged. ‘I think you’ll like it.’

  ‘You’ve given me too much already,’ she protested.

  ‘The last one is for fun. Go on, open it.’

  She looked up at him uncertainly. ‘You aren’t mocking me in any way?’

  ‘No, little one,’ he spoke gently, ‘I’m trying to please you.’

  The huge pink fluffy elephant she unwrapped did please her, so much so that she cried.

  ‘He’s perfect,’ she hugged the toy to her. ‘Just perfect!’

  ‘He?’ Logan mocked.

  ‘Oh yes,’ she gave him a mischievous smile. ‘He’s going to sleep with me, share my bed, until you do.’

  His eyes darkened, desire in their depths. ‘You only have to say the word,’ he moaned raggedly.

  ‘We have to face your mother, remember?’ she teased.

  ‘Do you think I care about my mother at this moment?’

  ‘Really, Logan!’ she pretended to be shocked. ‘Not in front of Dumbo!’ She pulled the grey ears over the pink face.

  ‘Dumbo!’ he scorned.

  ‘I loved that film, did you?’

  He looked deliberately blasé. ‘I think I may have seen it in my youth.’

  ‘Oh yes?’ she mocked.

  ‘Yes. Really, Callie, I’m not sure I can take the transition from Charlotte Bronte to Walt Disney,’ he taunted.

  Her happiness instantly faded, and the light died from her eyes. ‘I’m too young for you.’ She bit her lip.

  ‘Like me to prove you’re wrong?’

  She swallowed hard, wanting to be the adult he wanted, that he needed. ‘Yes,’ she answered firmly.

  ‘Like to belong to me?’

  ‘Yes.’ Her head went back proudly.

  ‘Sure?’

  ‘Yes—’ This last affirmative came out in a sigh, and her head lowered as she looked at her hands.

  ‘Then so you shall.’ There was a movement behind her, and then Logan had joined her on the carpeted floor, taking the pink elephant out of her hands. ‘For you.’ He replaced the elephant with a small square jewellery box.

  Her lashes flew upwards in surprise, searching Logan’s face, finding none of the hardness she had seen seconds earlier. ‘Is this— Have you—’

  ‘Open it.’

  She did so with trembling fingers, and gasped at the emerald surrounded by diamonds—the most beautiful ring she had ever seen.

  ‘Here, let me.’ Logan took the ring from the box, discarding the latter on the floor and slipping the ring on the third finger of her left hand. ‘Perfect,’ he said with satisfaction, still holding her hand. ‘Do you like it?’

  ‘I love it!’ Callie looked down at it in awe. ‘But isn’t it—’

  ‘Perfect for my future wife,’ he told her arrogantly. ‘We can hardly be engaged without a ring, Callie.’

  ‘I didn’t know we were engaged.’ She couldn’t stop looking at the ring, sure it must have cost a small fortune.

  ‘Only for a week or two.’ His arms came about her. ‘Just until we can arrange the wedding.’

  ‘Won’t everyone be shocked at the rush we’re in?’ She snuggled into his arms.

  ‘They’ll be even more shocked if we don’t rush.’ He chuckled as she blushed. ‘I can hardly wait for the day you promise to love, honour, and obey me.’

  ‘I shall have obey left out of the service,’ she told him primly. ‘You have to promise to worship me with your body,’ she reminded shyly.

  ‘I already do.’

  She suddenly felt as if she had too much, as if something were going to happen to take her happiness away from her, and she couldn’t repress the shiver of apprehension.

  ‘What is it?’ Logan was instantly sensitive to her mood, looking down at her. ‘Callie?’

  ‘You won’t ever leave me, will you?’ She clung to him. ‘I think I’d die without you now.’

  ‘You silly child—’

  ‘I’m not a child! I’m really not, Logan.’ She looked at him fearlessly.

  ‘No, I don’t believe you are,’ he said slowly. ‘And you’ll never lose me, Callie, I can promise you that.’ His arms tightened about her. ‘I have too much to lose.’

  His lips covered hers as they clung together, Logan’s hands caressing, cupping one of her breasts, his thumbtip finding the erect nipple.

  Callie could feel his full arousal against her thigh, and a weakness invaded her own limbs as his hand moved beneath her loose top to touch the nakedness of her breast, to caress the silky skin.

  ‘I want to make love to you, Callie,’ he groaned.

  She knew that, knew that with every fibre of her body; a primitive force was driving him onwards tonight as he demanded her full submission. And she wanted to submit, denying them both at the cost of much pain to herself.

  ‘We have to wait, Logan,’ she breathed softly. ‘We have to wait.’

  ‘Do we?’ He looked down at her with dark eyes. ‘Yes, we do,’ he sighed, helping her to her feet. ‘We’ll just have to make the wedding soon,’ he attempted lightness. ‘And damn what everyone thinks.’

  She looked at him seriously. ‘You don’t think I’m being—silly? That I—’


  ‘No,’ he denied forcefully, clasping her upper arms. ‘You aren’t being silly at all. And I’m sorry if I upset you earlier. I was only teasing you.’

  ‘Were you?’ She wasn’t so sure.

  ‘Yes,’ he smiled. ‘I love your ability to enjoy a variety of things in life.’

  ‘Jeff always said—’

  ‘I’m beginning to hate the sound of that name,’ Logan rasped, frowning darkly.

  ‘No!’ she gasped.

  ‘Yes,’ he insisted grimly. ‘You’re forever quoting the man. I’m the one you’re supposed to love—’

  ‘And I do,’ she said fervently.

  ‘Then stop talking about him as if he were some damned god, whose every word was immortal!’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered in a choked voice. ‘It was just that I loved him, you see. And—’

  ‘And he’s dead!’ Logan scowled. ‘I’m the one that’s alive. Remember that.’

  ‘Yes.’ She swallowed hard, finding it impossible to respond to his hard goodnight kiss.

  As she lay in bed that night she was full of uncertainties. Oh, not about her love for Logan, that was unshakeable, undeniable. But how well did she know this man she loved? Would she ever understand him?

  * * *

  Logan still seemed as grim when he called for her the next morning, and the drive to his mother’s home was made in total silence, Callie shooting nervous glances beneath lowered lashes in his direction.

  Finally she couldn’t stand it any longer. ‘Logan—’

  ‘Callie—’

  They both began talking at the same time, and now she ruefully invited Logan to talk first.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said abruptly.

  ‘Sorry…?’ Her eyes were wide, the gold flecks in the brown more noticeable.

  ‘Yes,’ he nodded tersely. ‘I behaved like a fool last night.’

  She couldn’t deny it. Logan had behaved badly, had acted jealous of a dead man. Jeff had never hurt anyone while he was alive, he certainly couldn’t hurt anyone now he was dead.

  Logan gave her a sideways glance. ‘Do you still want to marry me?’ He was gripping the steering-wheel so tightly his knuckles showed white.

  Her hand moved to rest on his thigh. ‘Of course,’ she answered without hesitation.

  ‘Oh, Callie!’ he pulled the car over to the side of the road, turning in his seat to look at her. ‘You’re sure?’