Season of Wonder

by RaeAnne Thayne

  “Can we come out now? We’ve been in there forever.”

  Oh. Poor Mia. “Yes. I’m sorry. You can come out.”

  Ruben seemed to take that as his cue. He shoved on his Stetson. “I’ve got to run. We’re shorthanded this time of year and I’ve been gone long enough. Have fun at The Nutcracker.”

  “We will now,” Silver said.

  “If I don’t see you again before the holidays, merry Christmas.”

  That reserve was back in his gaze, Dani saw. She had put it there and she didn’t know how to fix things. She desperately missed the warmth she had become used to seeing.

  “Merry Christmas,” she murmured. She wanted to say so many other things but now didn’t seem the time. He didn’t give her a chance anyway. He patted Winky, who had taken the Santa hat off by now and was chewing on the pom-pom, then gave Mia a quick hug, smiled at Silver and walked out the door, without even looking at Dani.

  15

  “That was so fun, Mama. Thank you for taking me.”

  Dani smiled at a sleepy Mia cuddled in her bed with her dark-haired doppelgänger doll beside her and the handsome new nutcracker she had purchased at the play tucked in beside Pia. Mia hummed a few bars of the music they had enjoyed, lilting and lovely and classically familiar.

  “You’re welcome, honey. I’m glad you had fun.”

  “Can we go see the ballet again next year? Maybe it can be our family tradition.”

  “What a terrific idea.”

  “All families need traditions. That’s what you said.”

  “We do need them.”

  “And can we do our own Secret Santa next year to someone? That was Silver’s idea and I want to do it, too.”

  Her heart softened at these girls who liked the feeling of reaching out and helping others and wanted it to continue.

  “I think that’s an excellent idea. We don’t have to only do nice things in December. We also need to think all year long about people around us who might need something happy in their world.”

  Mia smiled, already almost asleep and Dani hugged her one more time then turned out the light.

  Traditions were necessary, she thought as she walked out into the hall. Her girls needed that sense of continuity. Would they find that if she picked up and moved to a new state to practice veterinary medicine?

  For too much of her life, she had been focused on the next thing. Getting out of foster care and being on her own. Having a baby. Tommy’s release date. Final exams, the next semester’s classes, earning her degree.

  She wasn’t working toward anything now, except being the best veterinarian, mother and person she could be.

  It was past time she stopped thinking everything would be perfect at some point in the future—when she could afford a better house, when her student loans were paid off—and started focusing on how she could make this moment the best possible.

  She needed to commit to Haven Point, to building a life here and fully integrating into the community. Tonight, she had bumped into several families from Haven Point at the ballet and everyone had been more than kind to her. She and the girls had even been invited to a family New Year’s Eve party at Eliza and Aidan Caine’s house in Snow Angel Cove.

  Dani had given a vague, noncommittal answer at the time, but she would call Eliza the next day to accept, she decided. It seemed like a monumental step, but one she felt good about.

  When she walked into the living room, she discovered Silver, hair wet from her shower and in her pajamas, lying on the floor and gazing at the Christmas tree. Winky rested on her stomach, perfectly content.

  Silver had turned on Christmas music and it played softly in the background. The tree seemed particularly fragrant tonight, its piney scent capturing the magic of the season perfectly.

  Dani tried to imprint the sweetness of the moment in her mind so she could take out the memory to enjoy during those times when Silver inevitably tested her patience.

  She sat beside her on the floor, leaning back against the sofa. “Are you okay?”

  Silver nodded. “Just enjoying the Christmas tree. It’s so peaceful here, watching all the colors. Remember how I used to do this when I was a little kid back in Queens, in our crappy apartment? We had that ugly little fake tree but I still always wanted to lie on the floor and dream about Christmas.”

  Those early Christmases had been meager indeed, with Tommy in prison and Dani in school and working various part-time jobs. She had felt like such a failure as a mom, unable to provide more for her daughter, but when she reflected on it now, she remembered only the joy on Silver’s face at whatever few small presents she found under that ugly fake tree.

  “Did you enjoy the ballet? It was fun to see Ruben’s parents there, along with his nephews and niece.”

  Silver moved to a sitting position, her back against the sofa like Dani’s, and settled Winky into a more comfortable spot on her lap. “Zach said their grandparents take them every year to see The Nutcracker during the holiday season.”

  “Ah. Another Morales tradition.” She sent Silver a sideways look. “What else did Zach have to say? You talked to him for most of the intermission.”

  “He asked me what was going on, why I wasn’t in school today. He said a kid in his geometry class told him I had been arrested, so Zach got all up in his face and told the kid to stop telling lies about me.” Silver grinned a little but quickly hid it by turning her face away.

  “That’s sweet of him to stand up for you. Did you tell him what really happened?”

  “No. It didn’t seem right to rat out Ella and Em. I told him it was just a misunderstanding and I would be back after Christmas. He seemed happy about that.”

  Dani smiled. “I think he likes you.”

  This time Silver didn’t bother to hide her grin. “Maybe.”

  They sat in a companionable silence, listening to a jazzy version of “Silent Night.”

  “Ruben’s pretty great, isn’t he?” Silver said out of the blue. “He believed in me the whole time.”

  The torrent of emotions Dani had done her best to dam up all evening seemed to break free and she had to close her eyes at the sheer force of them. “Yes. He is pretty great.”

  “If he didn’t keep investigating, I might still be suspended.” Silver sent her a sidelong look. “You know why he went to all that effort to clear my name, right?”

  “Because he’s an excellent judge of character,” Dani replied.

  Her daughter grinned. “Well, yeah. But also because he likes you.”

  Would it make a difference if I tell you I’m falling in love with you?

  She thought of those moments in his arms on the boat, the sheer joy of being with him. Had she ruined everything between them? How could she make it right?

  “I need to ask you something,” she said to Silver. “Something serious. Do you really hate it here? If you do, I can look into practicing somewhere else. I would like to stay in Haven Point and build our future here, but not if you’re going to be miserable.”

  Silver pulled Winky higher in her arms and tucked the dog’s little head under her chin. “I’m sorry I’ve been unhappy. It was...everything with Ella and Emma, plus missing my friends back in Boston and stuff. I don’t really hate it here.”

  “But could you ever love it?”

  “Yeah. I think I could. It’s pretty here. There’s maybe not as much to do as Boston or New York, but we can always go back and visit those places when we want.”

  “That’s right. I’m okay with you going back to stay with your friends on a visit. Maybe you can start saving your money for a plane ticket by doing extra work at the clinic.”

  “That would be good.” Silver paused. “I have friends here. There are good people everywhere and there are jerks, too. Ruben told me the trick is to surround yourself with the first kind of people and do
your best to ignore the second.”

  Yet more wisdom from the man. How could she help but love him?

  “And don’t forget, you have to start by being a good person yourself, instead of a jerk.”

  Silver was quiet for a moment and seemed content watching the Christmas tree and petting their fluffy dog. “Hey, do you think Ruben might let Mia and me do the last few Secret Santa deliveries?”

  “You still want to, after the trouble Ella and Emma caused you?”

  “I like taking the gifts. It makes me feel good inside and it’s a small thing I can do for someone else. Besides, their mom might die. I think they made some stupid choices because they’re afraid, which I would be, too, I guess, if there was any chance I might lose you.”

  Oh. Just when Dani thought she had her emotions under control, her daughter had to go and say something like that. Emotions clogged her throat and her eyes welled up with tears.

  Yes, the bulk of the teen years were still ahead of them, but Dani hoped she never lost sight of how amazing her daughter was.

  “I’ll talk to Ruben. I don’t think he’ll mind. You should probably get to bed now. It’s late.”

  “Yeah. I’m tired.”

  They both rose and to Dani’s delight, her daughter wrapped her arms around her waist. “Merry almost Christmas, Mom. I think it’s going to be our best one ever.”

  That Silver could say those words after the trauma of the last three months and the final horrible, desperate choices her father had made filled Dani with joy.

  After Silver went to bed, taking Wink with her, Dani sat for a long time there in the darkness illuminated only by the Christmas tree.

  She knew what she had to do—she needed only to find the courage for it.

  It was nearly midnight when she saw the lights of a vehicle pulling into the driveway next door. Ruben must have worked a late shift, after doing his best to clear her daughter’s name all morning.

  She needed to speak with the man and suddenly she knew it wouldn’t wait another moment.

  Heart pounding, she pulled on her boots. She didn’t bother with her coat, just grabbed the knit throw from the chair and draped it around her shoulders like a wrap before heading outside.

  The December night felt like a precious gift. It was snowing gently, big, puffy flakes that landed in her hair and on the wrap. In the moonlight, she could make out the vastness of the lake and the steep mountains rising up on the other side. The hushed beauty of the scene humbled her and made her infinitely grateful she could witness it.

  She was nervous about talking to Ruben, but there was also a sense of...peace. That was the only word she could use to describe it. Silver had described the experience of gazing at the Christmas tree using that same word and it fit here, too.

  She felt a deep sense of peace.

  At his door, she didn’t hesitate for an instant, simply knocked softly. From inside, she heard a well-mannered deep-throated bark she recognized as Yukon’s and another little yip from Ollie and then the door opened.

  Ruben looked as if he had been in the process of taking off his uniform when she knocked. He wore the dark khaki pants but only a white T-shirt and none of the other things that always hung on his belt—his weapon, his radio, his Taser. All the things that made him appear so dangerous.

  She had a feeling they probably weren’t far away, though. He wasn’t the sort of man who would answer the door in the middle of the night without being ready for anything.

  His eyes widened in shock when he spotted her. The dogs rushed out, tails wagging to greet her.

  “Dani! What are you doing here? Come in.”

  As she went inside with Yukon and Ollie sticking close to her, she realized she had never been in his house in all the months she had lived next door to him.

  Now she looked around with interest. It was comfortable, masculine, with Mission-style furniture and photographs of Haven Point and its surroundings on the walls. It smelled like him, too, that outdoorsy, cedary scent she found so delicious.

  His house seemed to fit him, somehow.

  “What’s going on? Are the girls okay?”

  “The girls are fine. Everyone is fine.” She petted Yukon. Maybe she should have waited until morning. What had seemed urgent to her might not appear the same to him when he was tired from a long day at work.

  “I came for two reasons. Three, really.”

  He studied her and some of his tension seemed to seep away. “That sounds serious. Sit down.”

  He gestured to the sofa but she shook her head. “I won’t take long. The girls are home alone. They’re in bed, but I probably should have told Silver where I was going.”

  Her daughter might figure it out, given their conversation earlier. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  She hadn’t really thought this through, intent only on sharing some of the thoughts running through her mind.

  “She’s one of the reasons I’m here. Silver would like to finish up the Secret Santa deliveries to the Larkins and I told her I would ask you about it.”

  He blinked those incredibly long eyelashes. “After everything the twins did to Sil, she still wants to be part of that?”

  Dani laughed a little. “I know. I had the same reaction. She says she likes giving the presents and likes the way it makes her feel to be doing something nice for them.”

  “She’s a great kid.”

  “She is. I sometimes forget that in the day to day. It’s important that I don’t lose sight of it. I’m trying to do better.”

  He smiled and her knees turned suddenly wobbly for some reason. She thought about taking a seat, but decided she felt a little more in control on her feet, wobbly or not.

  “As I said, Silver is only one of the reasons I’m here.”

  “Oh?”

  “I think I was so stunned this afternoon that I didn’t properly thank you for going to bat for her like you did.”

  His T-shirt rippled as he shrugged his shoulders. “What else could I do? I knew Sil wouldn’t have taken that money. She said she didn’t and I believed her. None of it made sense. I’m just glad I could figure it out before the school moved forward with pressing charges.”

  She was, too, more appreciative than she could ever tell him. She would have hated knowing her daughter had a juvenile record.

  “I didn’t say it this afternoon but I’m deeply grateful for your instincts and your investigative skills. We would have been lost without you.”

  “I’m glad it worked out the way it did.” He gave her a careful look. “You said you had three reasons for stopping by. What’s the third?”

  The peace she felt earlier seemed to have evaporated now. For one crazy instant, she was tempted to tell him she had miscounted and her work here was done.

  That would be cowardly, though. If her daughter could show such strength and grace, Dani could do nothing less. She drew in a deep breath for courage and stepped forward. “I...I would like to give you something.”

  He raised an eyebrow, looking so gorgeous that everything inside her seemed to sigh.

  “An early Christmas present?”

  “Something like that.”

  Gathering her nerves, she took another step, raised up on her toes and pressed her mouth to his.

  At once, all of her nerves fled and that peace returned. This was right. They were right. She was so foolish to have doubted it for a moment.

  After a heart-stopping moment of hesitation when she began to wonder if she was too late, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her with a ferocity that stole her breath.

  She gave a little laugh and entwined her own arms around his neck, loving the taste of him and the overwhelming sense of joy exploding like those Roman candles again.

  Love coursed through her, sweet and beautiful, like a cleansing storm.


  He kissed her until her knees were weak again, until she couldn’t think straight and her breathing was ragged and she was a quivering, aching bundle of desire.

  “Have I mentioned before how much I love Christmas presents?” he murmured against her mouth.

  It took her dazzled brain a moment to make the connection back to what he had said earlier. She laughed, loving him more than she ever imagined possible.

  “That was more an apology than a Christmas present, I guess.”

  “You don’t owe me any apology.”

  “I do. You bared your heart to me last week. At the time, I wasn’t in a good place to hear it. But I haven’t been able to think about anything else since then and...I’m sorry for the way I reacted.”

  “You’re forgiven,” he murmured.

  “You make it too easy.” She stepped away a little, knowing she had to get through this, no matter how difficult, and she couldn’t seem to string together a coherent thought while she was in his arms. “When you told me you were falling in love with me, I...panicked.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault. I wasn’t looking for this when I moved to Haven Point but I think I fell hard right around the time we met. I was sure of it that day you held me when I had a breakdown, when you were so very kind to me, and I’ve been fighting it ever since.”

  “How’s that working out for you?”

  She made a face and took one more deep breath for courage. “Terribly. I don’t want to fight it anymore. I love you, Ruben. I love how kind you are with my children, I love seeing you with your family, I love the way I seem to lose my head completely when you kiss me.”

  He seemed to take that as incentive to kiss her again and Dani wanted to sink into him, to stay here forever in the shelter of his arms.

  “Yes. Like that,” she said, her voice thready and aroused.

  He smiled and kissed the corner of her mouth and she had to wonder just why she had been fighting this for so long.

  “I had long ago told myself I would be better off forgetting about romance entirely and only focusing on my girls and my career. And then I met you. You made me laugh and cry and feel things I thought I never would again. You helped me realize I still have so much love inside me to give to the right man.”