The Place Inside the Storm

by Bradley W Wright

  I watched him go, my head full of emotions I couldn’t untangle. “Let’s go back, Xel. We’re not going to catch any fish this way.”

  We gathered mushrooms and greens on the way back. It wouldn’t be much, but I could make a soup maybe. When I crawled back into the tent, though, I saw immediately that Loki was worse. His face was tense and his body twitched randomly. His previously deep breathing was shallow, and he gasped every few breaths.

  “Xel,” I called, anxious. “He’s not getting better. We need to do something.”

  Xel padded into the tent and observed Loki for a moment. “I agree. What was your opinion of the man by the river?” he asked.

  I thought for a minute about our encounters with others since running away--the security guard who let me go, the shopkeeper at the surplus store, Aeon and Loki, the people in the sewer, Wen. It was a gamble every time. Still, I was glad I had decided to trust Aeon and Loki. The man had seemed simple and honest, like Aeon.

  “He seemed honest,” I said.

  “Yes. I will go to his house. We need help. We do not have another choice. If his wife is really a doctor, she might be able to help.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Ask him to come here. I can’t carry Loki that whole way by myself.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Xel was back with the man, Jed. He looked in at Loki and shook his head once, sharply. “We need to get him back to the house. I’ll carry him. Leave your tent here for now. Bring your packs if you want.”

  He stooped, picked Loki up, and maneuvered him out of the tent. Once outside, he shifted Loki onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. I followed, carrying both packs, and Xel trotted along with us. Loki’s eyes didn’t open but he seemed to stir a bit when Jed stepped over logs or hopped a patch of mud.

  The house was in a clearing, with the river behind, down a steep, rocky slope at the back. Made of hewn logs stacked on top of each other, the house had a high, peaked roof shingled in some wood with a reddish tinge. There was a fenced paddock to one side where goats stood scattered about, giving us sidelong glances. On the other side was a chicken coop with several hens scratching in the dirt nearby. A big dog came loping around the house, barking, but Jed silenced it with a sharp command then carried Loki straight through the open front door. I followed him into an entry hall with a dark stone floor. Muddy boots were piled next to the door and jackets were hung on pegs.

  “Del,” he called. “This boy needs your help.”

  A woman ran into the hall, wiping strong hands on an apron. She looked at Loki, glanced at me and Xel with a searching expression, then turned back to Loki. She was similar in age to Jed, with black hair braided down her back. She wore a long dress of coarsely woven fabric beneath her apron. “Take him into Marigold’s room. Lay him on the bed.” she said.

  Jed turned down a hallway that opened onto the entry hall. The woman followed and so did I. At the first door we came to, Jed turned again and laid Loki down on a little bed in the corner. It was a small, tidy room with a chest at the foot of the bed, a circular rug covering a wood-plank floor, and a window over the bed that let in enough light for the woman to examine Loki. She stooped over him while Jed, Xel, and I stood back by the door.

  “Give her a minute,” Jed whispered to me. “She’ll know what to do.”

  While he spoke, the woman picked up Loki’s hand and felt his pulse, put an ear to his chest, and lay her hands on his forehead and throat. For a little while, she stood, eyes closed, with her hand hovering in the air above his chest. Finally, she turned to us. “His condition is serious. He needs medicine. Valerian, skullcap. I’ll make a tea.”

  She strode out of the room. I went to the bed, sat next to Loki, and took his hand in mine. Xel hopped up next to me.

  “She will heal him,” Jed said. “Don’t worry.”

  I turned to him. “Thank you,” I answered. “I don’t know what we’d do--I’m Tara, by the way. This is Xel. And this is Loki.”

  Jed nodded. “Loki, is it? He’s going to be okay. Don’t you worry.”

  ***

  After sundown, I sat at the candlelit dinner table with Jed and his family. Their house had one big, high-ceilinged room with the kitchen, dining table, and sitting area all contained within it. A warm file burned in a massive hearth made of river rock. Jed’s wife was named Delia. They had two daughters, a two-year-old, Luna, and a four-year-old, Marigold. The girls stared at me with wide eyes, not speaking. Xel sat across the room, on a chair, gazing out the window. They stared at him too, alternating between us. Marigold had approached him earlier and run a hand over his head, but she had jumped back and hid behind her mother’s skirts when he spoke to her. They seemed unused to company, and I was not good at speaking to them. I didn’t have much experience with children other than my sister.

  Earlier, Delia had dribbled the tea into Loki’s mouth while I held him propped up. Within a few minutes, his body had calmed. Xel reported that his brain activity also became better, reverting to a normal sleep pattern. I sat with him, holding his hand, until Jed came and called me to dinner. I had asked Jed to give Delia the bag of mushrooms and greens I gathered and I found that she had incorporated them into the meal. It was a kind of pie with a vegetable, mushroom, and meat-filled crust. Jed told me the meat was venison. We ate in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. I glanced up now and then to see Jed and Delia both looking my way and exchanging silent looks of their own.

  Finally, Delia broke the silence. “Tara, is it?”

  “Yes,” I answered. “The food is delicious. Thanks for sharing it with me--and for helping Loki.”

  “You’re welcome. We’re always happy to help where we can. But I’m worried about you and your friend. What are you two doing wandering off by yourselves? The boy is sick. He needs more help that I can give.”

  “I know. He couldn’t get help where we were. We came up here. My grandmother is a doctor. We were on our way to get help from her but she’s gone, up in the north helping with an outbreak--” I broke off.

  “She lives up here? By us?” Jed asked.

  “No. In Eugene. We came up this way after we found out she was gone.”

  “Where are you headed?”

  I glanced back and saw Xel looking at me, then I cast my eyes down while I thought about how to answer Jed’s question. “We’re headed up into the mountains to meet up with some other family members,” I said finally. My lie did not sound convincing even to me.

  Jed, Delia, and the two girls were all looking at me.

  “Well,” Delia said, “You’re not going anywhere until your friend gets some rest. He’ll need time to recover. You can stay with us, meanwhile.”

  “Thank you,” I said again, staring at my plate.

  ***

  We ended up staying with them for three days. Loki woke up the morning after we arrived but he was weak and groggy. Delia ordered him to stay in bed and brought him food on trays. I found opportunities to speak with him alone, though and, with help from Xel, filled him in on where we were and what had happened.

  I tried to make myself useful, helping Delia with housework and cooking and Marigold with her chores which included feeding the animals. Before long, Marigold decided I was all right and began chattering away at me, explaining how to feed the goats, gather firewood, and check for eggs in the chicken coop. She seemed happy to have somebody to boss around other than her little sister. Xel stayed with Loki mostly, watching him and monitoring the electrical activity in his brain. Jed spent most of the day outdoors, working on the house, which he had built himself, chopping wood, and gathering food. He came back in the evenings with fish, mushrooms, and other kinds of game and edibles.

  On the second day, Delia and I were in the kitchen. She was kneading bread dough, and I was chopping onions.

  “Why do you live out here?” I asked. “You don’t even have a fusion cell.”

  “We’re Thoreauvians,” she answered without turning.

  “What’s that?” I replied.r />
  “We follow the teachings of Henry David Thoreau. Haven’t you heard of us? I guess not. Our movement started last century, back in the nineteen-sixties. A lot of people in this area moved out of the cities and took up a simpler life in the country when the plagues came.”

  “I see. So you don’t ever go into town?”

  “Twice a year. We make things and sell them at the markets, then use the money to buy supplies like flour, corn, sugar. We know other families who live in this area. Some have vehicles.”

  I liked Delia and Jed and their beautiful daughters. Their life was simple. They had no specs, no computers, not even electricity, but they didn’t seem to miss those things. The girls didn’t even know what a computer was. Their toys were stones, sticks, pieces of wood carved by Jed, paper and pencils, dolls hand sewn from scraps of fabric. After three days, though, I was anxious to get moving again.

  On the morning of the fourth day, we ate breakfast with them and then prepared to go, standing in the entry hall. On an impulse, I dug the plasma knife out of my pack and offered it to Jed. He looked at it and shook his head.

  “You keep that,” he said. “You might need it on the road.”

  “What about this?” I asked, holding up my LED flashlight, “Can I give it to Marigold?”

  Jed nodded his assent, and I crouched down, holding it out to the girl. She took it, and I showed her how to use it. Immediately, Luna tottered forward to see what it was.

  “Thanks again for everything,” I said, standing.

  “From me too,” Loki added. “Thanks for bringing me back. I was way out there. You saved my life,” he continued, looking at his feet, embarrassed.

  “We help who we can,” Delia answered. “Sometimes others help us. It’s like a coin passed from one to another to another. Pass it on to somebody else. And visit us again sometime if you are ever in the area.”

  “We will,” I replied.

  We were ten feet from the door when I remembered something and turned back.

  “Jed! Sorry. In the old garage by the road there’s a car.”

  “A car?”

  “Yes. It belongs to somebody in Eugene--”

  “We’ll make sure it gets back there,” he answered, shaking his head.

  “Thanks,” I said and turned away, toward the trees and wilderness that would be our companions now.

  A sadness welled up in me at leaving that cozy house and the goodness of Jed and Delia. When would I be able to rest again? I wondered. I looked at Loki, and it seemed like his mood was the same as mine. Xel seemed pensive too. I reached out and touched Loki’s shoulder, ran my fingers through Xel’s fur. They both looked at me, and I forced a smile.

  “Let’s go,” I said. “Long walk ahead today.”

  Chapter 14

  In the Mountains

  All that day and all the next we walked along the old highway. It was impassable to any motorized vehicles in its state of disrepair, but it made a good walking path for us. A few times we saw floaters and airplanes off in the distance but none ever came near. Mostly, we saw trees--never ending forest, ferns, stones, gray sky, and rain. The river was our nearly constant companion.

  Sometimes it looped off away from the highway, but it always came back around to meet us again. Most of the buildings and houses we passed were abandoned. Occasionally, we saw an inhabited homestead with smoke rising from the chimney and livestock in the fields but we steered clear. Maybe we would get lucky again and find people like Jed and Delia but it was too risky. We didn’t want to take the chance.

  They had given us several useful gifts when we parted: enough venison jerky and preserves to keep us going for a few days, herbal medicine for Loki, matches in a waterproof canister, and a bow and arrows. The bow was an old one that Jed restrung for us. He had made it himself--a simple arc of yew wood with notches for the animal sinew bowstring.

  We walked about ten miles each day, going slowly and stopping in the early afternoon so that we could make camp and forage for our dinner. We both tried the bow, but it was Loki who finally hit a squirrel on the evening of our second day out. After that, I mainly let him do the shooting, but I did keep practicing in the afternoons, setting up targets and shooting arrow after arrow if it wasn’t raining. He had experience with butchering from his time at the garage where they had raised chickens and eaten them. All members of the garage community were expected to learn all types of work. I didn’t want to watch him gut the squirrel, so he carried it to the riverside and cleaned it while I built a fire. He managed to catch something most days after that.

  It wasn’t easy to find dry wood. We tried to camp near abandoned dwellings and old barns though, and I would gather as much wood as possible from inside them--floorboards, wall paneling, whatever I could find. I discovered I could dry kindling out with the lantern heater then throw the big pieces on once the fire was going. Xel, with his ability to access any information he needed, was always able to help us find edible plants and mushrooms. We didn’t starve, but we were always hungry.

  The nights were cold and silent except for the drip of rain on the tent, trees creaking in the wind, and sometimes the sound of small animals scurrying by. I slept well, tired from walking. We didn’t talk very much. Xel and Loki seemed to look to me when decisions needed to be made. I had received the anonymous messages, and I had made the decision to travel to the coordinates given. They were following along, hoping that my hunch was right. I couldn’t say why, but I had a feeling that making this trek was the right decision. I was glad they trusted me. I barely trusted myself. I wasn’t used to making decisions.

  My parents, my teachers, and the other adults in my life had always just told me what to do. It was difficult. I was finding that along with responsibility comes worry. What if I was leading them into another trap? I went over the options in my head, mulling them over again and again as we trekked through that vast wilderness, but I could never come up with any better plan.

  On the fifth night, we were laying in the tent with the never-ending rain plopping down on the roof in big drops from the tree branches above. We had finished Aeon’s book the night before. I had many other books stored in the memory of my specs but I didn’t want to power them up.

  I was surprised by how quickly I had gotten used to not wearing them. We just lay quietly, thinking out own thoughts until it occurred to me that Loki had not been playing his shakuhachi flute since before our stay at Jed and Delia’s house. In fact, he hadn’t played since the night before we got to Eugene. I turned my head and saw his face in the lantern light.

  His eyes were open, staring at the ceiling, his hands crossed on his chest.

  “Loki, why haven’t you played your flute lately?” I asked.

  It took him a while to answer. Finally, still staring at the tent roof, he replied. “I haven’t felt like it I guess. I have to be calm to play. At least a little bit. If you have a little bit of calmness, you can take it and build on it.” He paused for several breaths then continued. “All I feel right now is afraid. I’m worried that I’m going to have another seizure and not come back this time. Maybe I’ll just be a vegetable. What would you do then? You’d have to leave me behind so you could survive.”

  I felt a deep heart ache at his words. “That’s not going to happen,” I said. “We have the medicine Delia gave you.”

  “What if it doesn’t work again? We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Sorry I dragged you off into the woods. We’re not going to leave you behind, though. We’ll find somebody who can help. I have this feeling that when we get to the place of the coordinates, we’ll find somebody who can help.”

  “I hope so,” Loki said. “Sorry for being so pathetic.”

  “You don’t have to apologize to me. I’m the girl who can barely control her emotions, remember?”

  Loki looked over at me. “You say that, but it’s not true. You’re actually really good at controlling yourself. I can tell it’s hard
too. It’s kind of scary when I see you going off, then you clamp it down. You get this look on you face like you could do anything you wanted, like nobody better stand in your way.”

  “Yeah,” I answered, feeling the truth in what he said. “I guess I had to learn. It doesn’t feel good to clamp it down though. The feeling doesn’t go away. It’s worse actually. I remember when I was a kid and I would melt down, I’d feel tired afterward but also calm, like I got something out I needed to get out.”

  Loki nodded. “That’s sort of how I feel after a seizure. If I wake up after, anyway.”

  “We’ll take care of you.”

  “I wish you didn’t have to.”

  “You’re strong, Loki. We wouldn’t have made it this far without you. We would have been eaten by those rats or caught by the people in the sewer.”

  “I guess so,” he said. “It just makes me feel weak and useless sometimes.”

  I didn’t know how to answer him but Xel, curled at my feet, raised his head. “You are neither,” he said. “The device in your head is evil. It was put there by evil people. If anything, you are amazingly strong to have survived this long with that thing in your brain. As Tara said, we would not have made it to this place without you. So, you are not useless either.”

  “Thanks,” Loki said.

  I could see and hear in his voice that he was choked with emotion.

  “Let’s go to sleep,” I said, turning down the lantern. “More walking tomorrow.”

  ***