Humbugged
Page 22
The heiress part, I wouldn’t get from looking at her. The computer game part, though, yeah. Dark spiky hair, more tattoos than me, pale skin, thin like she never eats, glasses that I’m not sure are actually prescription, short like she sat so much at a computer growing up that her body gave up trying to make her tall.
Zeus and his identical twin brother, Ares, always give her a wide berth. She asked Brooks last night if he wanted to take off after the rehearsal and go get some tongue action. When he turned her down, she asked both Jack and Gavin if they wanted a two-for-one special.
Fucking her would probably be like fucking a sugared-up elf from an alternate dimension where Santa was actually a motorcycle-riding badass with vigilante tendencies.
Notice I’m not talking myself out of the idea of fucking her here.
It’s been a while since I’ve let anything unpredictable into my life—when I’m not out on a mission—and truth is, I miss it.
Eloise has her purple skirt clenched in her fists while she marches across the dance floor. Her gaze catches mine through the glass, she licks her lips, and she adjusts her course to head straight toward me.
There’s a familiar sensation tickling my dick. I like it.
She wiggles her brows, and the piercing in her left brow catches in the light.
I wonder if her nipples are pierced.
Parker would kick my ass if she knew I was wondering that.
But I don’t give two shits. My career’s in the crapper—no, I don’t want to talk about it—I’m losing at Wedding Bingo to Brooks, and my only sister just got married.
I’m feeling.
I don’t like feeling.
I do like looking at boobs though, and Eloise has a nice set. They’re like apples. The big September Honeycrisp kind, not the mealy, poorly-named Red Delicious kind.
I like apples. I like cantaloupes and watermelons too, but you don’t often get real fruit when you’re looking that big.
But the point is, yeah, I’d tap that.
Eloise struts all the way to the door, and—
And she bounces backward.
Because the door’s closed, and she tried to walk through the glass.
I choke on my own spit trying not to laugh.
She shakes her head, looks left, then right, grabs the door handle, and slides it open. “Fucking doors,” she mutters. She’s got this throaty voice like Mae West was reincarnated in her throat, and it’s making my joystick heavier on both the joy and the stick parts.
“You showed it who’s boss,” I tell her.
She flips me off.
I grin and tip the tequila bottle toward her. “Drink?”
“Screw that. Let’s go fuck.”
The bottle goes back on the table and my chair almost tips, I stand up so fast. “Your place or mine?”
Her blue eyes bulge behind her cat’s-eye glasses. “Seriously?”
Fuck, didn’t she mean it? Mr. Winky in my pants droops as he starts to lose hope. “Are you a horny bridesmaid looking to get out of that dress or not?”
“If I say yes, will you bang me in the bathroom?”
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About the Authors
Pippa Grant is a USA Today Bestselling author who writes romantic comedies that will make tears run down your leg. When she's not reading, writing or sleeping, she's being crowned employee of the month as a stay-at-home mom and housewife trying to prepare her adorable demon spawn to be productive members of society, all the while fantasizing about long walks on the beach with hot chocolate chip cookies.
Find Pippa at…
www.pippagrant.com
pippa@pippagrant.com
Author of over forty novels, USA Today Bestseller Lili Valente writes everything from steamy suspense to laugh-out-loud romantic comedies. A die-hard romantic and optimist at heart, she can’t resist a story where love wins big. Because love should always win.
When she’s not writing, Lili enjoys adventuring with her two sons, climbing on rocks, swimming too far from shore, and asking “why” an incorrigible number of times per day. A former yoga teacher, actor, and dancer, she is also very bendy and good at pretending innocence when caught investigating off-limits places.
You can currently find Lili in the mid-South, valiantly trying to resist the lure of all the places left to explore.
Find Lili at www.lilivalente.com
Also by Pippa Grant
Pippa Grant Reading Order and Book List
The Mister McHottie World…
Mister McHottie
Stud in the Stacks
The Pilot and the Puck-Up
Royally Pucked
Beauty and the Beefcake
Rockaway Bride
Hot Heir
The Hero and the Hacktivist
Charming as Puck
The Bro Code Series
Flirting with the Frenemy
America’s Geekheart
Standalones
Master Baker (Bro Code Spin-Off)
Exes and Ho Ho Hos
Co-Written with Lili Valente
Hosed
Hammered
Hitched
Humbugged
The Bluewater Billionaires Series
The Price of Scandal by Lucy Score
The Mogul and the Muscle by Claire Kingsley
Wild Open Hearts by Kathryn Nolan
Crazy for Loving You by Pippa Grant
Pippa Grant writing as Jamie Farrell:
The Misfit Brides Series
Blissed
Matched
Smittened
Sugared
Merried
Spiced
Unhitched
The Officers’ Ex-Wives Club Series
Her Rebel Heart
Southern Fried Blues
Coming Soon from Pippa Grant
Bro Code #3
Hockey Book #5
Truth or Heir
The Princess and the Protector
The SEAL and the Starlet
And more! For the most up-to-date book list, CLICK HERE.
Keep in touch with Pippa Grant!
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Also by Lili Valente
Red HOT Rock Star Rom Coms
The Bangover
Bang Theory
Bang on Loosely
Learn more here
The Hunter Brothers
The Baby Maker
The Troublemaker
The Heartbreaker
The Panty Melter
Click here to learn more
The Bad Motherpuckers Series
Hot as Puck
Sexy Motherpucker
Puck-Aholic
Puck me Baby
Pucked Up Love
Puck Buddies
Click here to learn more
Sexy Flirty Dirty Romantic Comedies
Magnificent Bastard
Spectacular Rascal
Incredible You
Meant for You
Click here to learn more
The Master Me Series
(Red HOT erotic Standalone novellas)
Snowbound with the Billionaire
Snowed in with the Boss
Masquerade with the Master
Click here to learn more
Bought by the Billionaire Series
(HOT novellas, must be read in order)
Dark Domination
Deep Domination
Desperate Domination
Divine Domination
Click here to learn more
Kidnapped by the Billionaire Series
(HOT novellas, must be read in order)
Filthy Wicked Love
<
br /> Crazy Beautiful Love
One More Shameless Night
Click here to learn more
Under His Command Series
(HOT novellas, must be read in order)
Controlling her Pleasure
Commanding her Trust
Claiming her Heart
Click here to learn more
To the Bone Series
(Sexy Romantic Suspense, must be read in order)
A Love so Dangerous
A Love so Deadly
A Love so Deep
Click here to learn more
Fight for You Series
(Emotional New Adult Romantic Suspense.)
Run with Me
Fight for You
Click here to learn more
Lover’s Leap Series
A Naughty Little Christmas
The Bad Boy’s Temptation
Click here to learn more
The Lonesome Point Series
(Sexy Cowboys written with Jessie Evans)
Leather and Lace
Saddles and Sin
Diamonds and Dust
12 Dates of Christmas
Glitter and Grit
Sunny with a Chance of True Love
Chaps and Chance
Ropes and Revenge
8 Second Angel
Click here to learn more
Co-written Standalones
The V Card (co-written with Lauren Blakely)
Falling for the Boss (co-written with Sylvia Pierce)
Click here to learn more
The Happy Cat Series
(co-written with Pippa Grant)
Hosed
Hammered
Hitched
Humbugged
Click here to learn more