Starbright

by Richland, Alexandra

  “Baby, please… don’t do this, please…” Aidan repeated his mantra with agonizing resolve.

  Beth exhaled deeply, but it did nothing to combat her wooziness.

  “I said leave.” Her firm voice came to her from a distance, as though someone else uttered the cruel and damning words.

  Aidan looked up at her. His eyes glistened with tears. The similarities to Halloween night on Mulholland Drive were uncanny, launching a flare of dread up from her stomach to her heart, scorching her resolve to turn him away.

  “Baby, please.” His voice wavered, riddled with repentance. “I’ll do anything. Please.”

  Aidan took what felt like a good minute to stare at her, waiting for her to change her mind. She didn’t say a word. Finally, he climbed to his feet slowly, as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

  With his hand placed over his heart and sorrowful eyes that infiltrated her every defense, he staggered backward to the door. Gathering her remaining might, Beth turned away from him. She heard him shuffle to the exit, followed by a blast of noise from the party… then, the slam of the door behind him.

  Beth collapsed to the floor, grasping her angel pendant and convulsing with more sobs. Jack and Ryan pulled her into their arms, rocking her back and forth. Even they couldn’t help her. The thought of this being the end of her relationship was Aidan was too much to bear. Closing her eyes, she once again gave into her despair.

  Aidan pushed his way through the party room, searching the celebratory crowd for Nathan. He felt like he was hyperventilating and couldn’t for the life of him handle the memory of Beth telling him to leave.

  He berated himself for not being more aggressive with Lydia when she propositioned him under the influence of so much alcohol she was practically incoherent. He was too concerned with reaching Beth in time to give Lydia too much consideration, not to mention he wasn’t the least bit interested.

  The kiss came as a complete surprise. After he pushed Lydia away, he rubbed his lips vigorously, wishing his hands were made of sandpaper. Then he tried to find Beth. She wasn’t where she stood previously and he figured she’d taken off on account of what she saw. It took him longer than he felt comfortable with to locate her, after checking their suite and the hotel’s common areas without success.

  Aidan had no idea why Beth thought he enjoyed Lydia’s attention. All he could do was tell her she was the only woman for him and profess how much he loved her. Unfortunately, she didn’t say it back and still sent him on his way.

  Across the room, Nathan and Olivia conversed with another couple and sipped champagne. As Aidan approached, Nathan’s demeanor shifted from joyous to alarmed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Aidan leaned into his ear. “Something really fucking bad, man. Lydia Dale kissed me and Beth saw the whole thing, except the part when I pushed her away.”

  Nathan’s eyes widened.

  “Yeah, no kidding.” Aidan shook his head, wishing it were enough to erase the memory. “Anyway, Beth is in the adjacent ballroom with Jack Peters and Ryan Sawyer, and she’s really upset. Nate, I need you to look after her for me. She drank a few glasses of champagne tonight, and I’m worried about her.”

  Nathan frowned. “No matter how upset she is, I’m sure she’d rather have you there than me.”

  “She told me to get lost.” Aidan dragged his hand through his hair. “Fuck, man, I gotta get out of here, or else I’m gonna hunt down Lydia and give her a piece of my mind.”

  “It’s all right. You do what you have to do.” Nathan placed a hand on his shoulder. “Look, I know you’d never do anything to hurt Beth. I’ll talk to her when she’s calmed down, and then you two can clear the air.”

  Aidan swallowed the anguish that crept up his throat. He didn’t know what he’d do if Beth left him, especially over a misunderstanding that easily could’ve been prevented had he not underestimated Lydia’s tenacity.

  He nodded. “Thanks, Nate.”

  “It’ll be fine. Just…” Nathan pinned him with a beseeching stare. “Don’t do anything reckless, okay? We need you safe just as much as we need Beth safe.”

  “Yeah… I got it.” With a dejected look at the doors guarding Beth, Aidan disappeared into the crowd.

  Beth sat next to Ryan against the wall of the vacant ballroom, her knees pulled to her chest.

  Jack paced before them, his eyebrows pinched as if he battled a migraine. “Can you please explain what the heck that was all about?”

  “I don’t know what happened exactly. One minute Aidan was walking toward me in the party room. The next, Lydia’s lips were on his.” A crippling thought took hold, sending a shudder down Beth’s spine. “What if he liked the kiss and just doesn’t want to admit it?”

  “Listen, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but…” Ryan glanced at Jack. “Lydia, well, when she sets her mind to something, or someone, as the case is here, she can be relentless. Plus, I saw her at the conclusion of Matthew’s show and she was terribly drunk, which means she was probably feeling very bold. Taking all that into consideration, my hunch is she really did catch Aidan by surprise, like he said.” He wrinkled his nose. “I mean, no one would purposely kiss Lydia—not anyone who knows the real her, at least.”

  Beth brought her shaky hand to her mouth. “Oh, goodness. What have I done? I have to find him!” She moved to stand up but was besieged by dizziness.

  Jack coaxed her back into a sitting position. “It’s all right. Just relax.”

  She peered up at him in a panic. “But Aidan—”

  “Aidan is a grown man who can take care of himself.” Jack took a seat on her other side, bending his knees in front of him. “You two need to take a breather before getting together again and talking this all out. Trust me, he’ll come find you later. The guy seems to have it bad for you.”

  Beth would never say anything to Jack and Ryan, but there was no guarantee that Aidan wouldn’t do something reckless. With a sigh, she placed her forehead to her knees, chastising herself for her behavior. She was an adult and wanted Aidan to treat her as such, yet she had acted incredibly childish. Aidan had a history of punishing himself for things that weren’t his fault, and here she was, blaming him for Lydia’s wrongdoing. It was like she threw him in the path of a speeding train and expected him to make it out completely unscathed.

  Now that the fog had lifted, and her thoughts were no longer befuddled, she couldn’t believe how poorly she had handled everything. She also wished she’d realized this when Aidan was in the room.

  Ryan nudged her side playfully. “So you and Aidan are in love, huh?”

  Beth pressed her head back against the wall. “Yes, we are.”

  “You sure he treats you all right?” Jack threw a skeptical look her way.

  “Jack, you saw how he was with her.” Ryan gestured to the spot in the room where they had stood earlier. “I mean, the guy was groveling at her feet, for Pete’s sake! I never would’ve believed it had I not witnessed it with my own eyes.”

  “Yeah, but he’s so possessive and arrogant. And that temper…” Jack shook his head. “The two of you seem so different.”

  The double doors opened and Olivia and Nathan entered the room, looking not at all festive like when their group first arrived at the party. Olivia raced over to Beth while Nathan shut the doors, affording them privacy.

  “Oh, Beth! Nathan told me what happened!” Olivia kneeled in front of her and grasped her hands. “Are you all right?”

  “You should speak with your friends alone.” Jack rose to his feet. “Will you be okay if Ryan and I go?”

  Beth gave him a small smile. “Yes.”

  Ryan stood as well. “Stay strong. If this thing between you and Aidan is as solid as you say it is, then you two will work it out.”

  “Thank you both for everything,” Beth said. “I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

  “You didn’t ruin our night.” Jack flashed a reassuring grin. “And don’t worr
y, your secret is safe with us.” He took Ryan’s hand and they headed for the exit.

  Olivia seemed surprised by their affection. Nathan did not.

  Beth watched sympathetically as they let go of each other prior to opening the doors and rejoined the party under the façade of nothing more than friends. Earlier she had assumed they knew nothing about hard it was for her and Aidan to hide their love from the world. The truth was they knew all too well.

  As the doors closed behind them, Beth looked to Nathan and Olivia, lulled into compliance and exhaustion from the waning effects of the alcohol. “I had absolutely no right to say the mean things I did to Aidan. He tried to tell me he did nothing wrong, but I wouldn’t listen.”

  Nathan held out his hand and helped her to her feet.

  “What did Aidan do after that witch kissed him?” Olivia cracked a smile. “I bet he went ballistic on her.”

  “I ran off so quickly, I didn’t see what happened next.” Beth lowered her gaze in shame.

  “There’s no way he kissed her back,” Olivia replied.

  Beth’s bottom lip trembled. “Deep down I knew that, but I still told him to leave. Worst of all, I didn’t tell him I loved him after he said it to me.”

  Nathan rubbed soothing circles on her back. “He’s giving you some space like you requested. He’ll come around later. Don’t worry.”

  “I was so concerned that Lydia planted some idea in Aidan’s head with the kiss that I don’t satisfy him… sexually.” Beth blushed. She was embarrassed that Nathan was hearing all this, but really, it didn’t matter at this point. She had made a big enough fool of herself already.

  Olivia scoffed. “That’s ridiculous! This is Aidan we’re talking about. He loves you. I think it was just easier for you to blame him for your insecurities than admit you were the one in the wrong. The truth is Lydia never planted negative thoughts in Aidan’s head about you. You planted them in your own head.”

  “You’re right, Liv.” Beth looked to Nathan despairingly. “You talked to him, right? Where is he? I have to go to him immediately and apologize.”

  Nathan shrugged. “I don’t know. He told me briefly what happened, and then he took off. I didn’t ask him where he was going because I don’t think he had any clue, either.”

  Olivia plucked some confetti from Beth’s hair, dropping the sparkly pieces to the floor. “How about I take you back to your room so you can rest? Everything we’ll be better in the morning. You’ll see.”

  Beth was too upset and too tired to argue. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks as she picked up her purse from the floor. “Nathan, can you find him for me?”

  He frowned. “Maybe it’s better if—”

  “Please.” She placed her hand on his forearm. “You know how he is.”

  Nathan sighed. “All right. I’ll try my best.”

  Beth brushed away her tears. “I’m sorry for ruining your New Year’s celebration, too.”

  “Nonsense.” Olivia winked. “The festivities were getting tired, anyway.”

  No other exit was available except the doors that led to the party room. Olivia patted Beth’s face with a tissue and made sure her makeup and hair looked presentable before they left. Nathan traveled in the direction of the front doors while the two women headed for Beth’s suite.

  Beth came to an abrupt halt as they crossed the lobby. Lydia was slumped over in a chair in the hallway ahead. There was no way to avoid her, as this was the only route to the elevators.

  Lydia snickered as Beth and Olivia entered the corridor. Her hair was all over the place, her mascara was smudged, and her eyes glazed over. Even her dress was torn. Her exterior now mirrored her personality.

  “Well, well, well.” Lydia stood from the chair and stumbled toward them. “If it isn’t Miss Goody Two-Shoes Sutton.”

  Olivia tugged on Beth’s arm. “Come on, let’s go.”

  Beth planted her feet in place. “Not yet.”

  Lydia stopped in front of her and leaned forward. Beth winced at the stench of alcohol on her breath but didn’t dare back up.

  “You’re such a stiff bore. I’m sure Aidan Evans was annoyed he got stuck sitting with you during the concert.” Lydia gave a wicked smile. “He has the most wonderful lips, you know.”

  Beth recoiled on the inside. On the outside, she remained cool and collected by reminding herself Lydia kissed him, not the other way around.

  She straightened her posture in preparation for her retort. Lydia probably wouldn’t remember the conversation in the morning, but she felt compelled to say something anyway.

  “Aidan doesn’t like you. He didn’t even kiss you back.”

  Lydia’s expression sobered—a small victory that infused Beth with more confidence.

  “Aidan loves me and I love him.”

  Lydia sneered. “You’re lying. What could he ever want with you?”

  Beth pointed a finger in her face. “Now, you listen to me. Don’t you dare try anything like that with him again. I want you to stay away from us.”

  Lydia smirked. “Or what?”

  Beth had no idea but persisted to call her bluff. “Trust me, you don’t want to find out.”

  Lydia arched her eyebrows. “You don’t scare me. All I have to do is tell Luther Mertz about your fling with Aidan and the two of you are finished.”

  Olivia stepped forward. “And I’m sure Mr. Mertz would love to hear about you having sex with one of the janitors in the broom closet of studio five, soundstage eleven, last month.”

  Lydia paled, as though she was about to be sick. Beth suspected her heavy alcohol consumption was not the culprit.

  Olivia smiled triumphantly. “That’s right. I know all about it. You said you were late to the set that day because weren’t feeling well. It cost the studio a pretty penny. I don’t think Mr. Mertz would enjoy hearing the truth.”

  Lydia rolled her eyes, but it was a poor attempt at concealing her defeat. “Why am I even wasting my time with you two squares?”

  With a toss of her hand, she brushed past them and wobbled down the hallway toward the party room.

  “Good riddance,” Olivia muttered.

  Beth nodded. It felt great to put Lydia in her place after dealing with her negative attitude for months on set. The stunt she pulled with Aidan was merely the last straw.

  At the thought of Aidan, Beth grew teary-eyed again.

  “Don’t worry,” Olivia said as they made their way to the elevators. “Nathan will find him.”

  Beth toyed with her angel pendent. The notion of him doing something drastic on account of her foolishness weighed heavily on her heart.

  “I hope so, Liv. I hope so.”

  Aidan wasn’t a big drinker, and when he did drink a lot, he was a quiet drunk. Tonight was an exception. With a whiskey bottle clutched in each hand and his balance more than a little off kilter, he belted out what he little knew of “Auld Lang Synge” into the vast, dark desert around him, unconcerned with the late hour or if anyone could hear him.

  After leaving the Sands Hotel, he walked aimlessly for a couple of miles and then settled in a small bar in a quiet motel and ordered a beer. Then another. Then two at a time. The bartender finally cut him off, so he found a drugstore and bought his own supply. He ditched his suit jacket and tie, and walked, and walked, and walked, until he ended up here. Wherever here was.

  Aidan tossed his first empty bottle into the darkness and heard it shatter in the distance. A fresh onslaught of agony arrived with the reminder of his argument with Beth, which told him he wasn’t drunk enough. He uncapped his second bottle and took a swig, the guilt he felt sharper than the broken glass he left lying in the dirt.

  “Happy fucking New Year,” he muttered, dangling the bottle between his fingers.

  A wave of bright light cast across his surroundings, revealing a whole lot of nothingness, accompanied by the sound of tires crunching over the ground. The engine turned off, immersing him in darkness again. A door opened and shut. Then he he
ard footsteps heading in his direction. He didn’t have to turn around to know who was there.

  Aidan took another guzzle from his bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “How’d you find me?”

  Nathan stopped beside him. “Knowing how torn up you were, one of the first places I checked was the police station. No offense.”

  “None taken.” Aidan took another greedy drink, hoping either numbness or unconsciousness would claim him soon. At this point, he would gladly pass out and risk having a nightmare than suffer through the aftermath of what happened between him and Beth.

  Nathan slipped his hands into his pockets. “While I was there, they received multiple calls from residents who reported a rowdy, intoxicated young man singing and cursing in this area. I had a hunch it was you and promised the officers I’d handle it.” He shrugged. “So here I am.”

  “You know, Nate, you take care of a lotta shit for me.” Aidan put his arm around his friend’s shoulders. His wobbly gait caused both of them to sway to the side. “I know I’ve said it before, but you’re like the brother I never had. You mean a hell of a lot to me. A hell of a lot…”

  “The feeling’s mutual, Aidan.” Nathan slipped an arm around his waist to support him. “How are you doing?”

  A sardonic chuckle escaped Aidan’s lips. “Wrong fucking question to ask, man.” He dropped his arm from Nathan’s shoulders and took another large gulp of whiskey, immune to the rank taste of it for a while now.

  Nathan released him. “Are you going to drink the entire thing?”

  “That’s the plan.” Aidan thrust the bottle his way. “Want some?”

  He shook his head. “No, thank you.”

  Aidan looked up at the night sky and spread his arms out at his sides, the bottle hanging precariously from one hand.

  “Nate, don’t this place make you feel small? It’s like, to the universe, we don’t mean a damn thing, you know? Not a goddamn thing.” He closed his eyes. Dizziness blitzed him and he stumbled again, almost dropping the whiskey in the process.

  Nathan grabbed a fistful of his shirt and steadied him. “Okay, Romeo, it’s time to get you back to the hotel.”