The London Doctor

by Joanna Neil

  ‘Are you going to take her to stay with her grandparents?’

  Hannah shook her head. ‘I don’t know where they are. They haven’t been in touch with Abby over the last few years, and they’ve never met Ellie. I’ll try to find them, but in the meantime Ellie can stay with me. It will be less disorientating for her that way.’

  ‘Are you sure that’s wise?’Adam said in a low voice. ‘Don’t you think you have enough to cope with already?’

  ‘I don’t see that I have any choice. Abby is my friend, and I know that she wouldn’t want Ellie to go to strangers. I’ll have to find a childminder who can take care of her while I’m at work.’

  ‘How will you do that?’

  Hannah shrugged. ‘Perhaps one of Abby’s friends will be able to help out. I’ll ask around at the nursery school.’

  ‘Well, whatever you decide, I’ll see you both home. I’m due to finish my shift here now, and when you come back down from the ward, I’ll have my car outside, waiting.’

  ‘You don’t have to do that…’

  ‘I know I don’t, but I’ve made up my mind, so don’t argue with me, Hannah. I think you’ve both had enough for one day, and Ellie looks wiped out.’

  He was as good as his word. When Hannah came back from seeing Abby, he helped her and Ellie into his gleaming silver car and made sure that Ellie was fastened into a child seat.

  ‘Where did that come from?’ Hannah asked, frowning.

  ‘I bought it for my brother,’ he explained. ‘He’s expecting a new addition to his family in a month or so. This gift is a bit premature, but you know my family, we all like to plan ahead.’

  She managed a faint smile. His was a strong family unit. They were all well-grounded, confident, successful people. Even thinking about them made her feel inadequate.

  When they drew up outside the house just a short time later, she had something new to worry about. What would he think of her tiny flat? He was used to the very best and his father’s estate covered acres of ground. He was almost bound to suffer from culture shock when he saw her place, wasn’t he? Perhaps she was worrying unnecessarily, though. He might not want to waste time coming into the house.

  ‘It looks as though Ellie’s half-asleep already,’ he said as he switched off the ignition and looked at the small child in the back seat. ‘I’ll carry her inside for you.’

  ‘Thanks. I’ll put her straight to bed,’ Hannah murmured. It seemed as though her hope that he might stay away was dashed.

  She led the way up to her flat. ‘It isn’t up to much in here,’ she warned him, ‘but it’s easy to clean and the furniture is reasonably good quality.’

  He settled Ellie down on the bed, and then looked around. ‘Where is she going to sleep?’ he asked. ‘There’s only one bed, and that’s a single.’

  ‘She can stay there. I’ll make up the sofa bed for myself.’

  ‘Do you have a bathroom, or do you have to share with the other tenants?’ He was frowning.

  ‘No, I have my own bathroom. It’s through there.’ She waved a hand towards a door. ‘There’s a shower, but it isn’t actually working at the moment.’ She grimaced.

  ‘What’s wrong with it?’

  ‘I’m not sure…Someone came to fix another plumbing problem, and now I can’t get the shower to come on. I’ll have a word with the landlord about it as soon as he returns from his holiday.’

  Adam raised a brow. ‘When’s that going to be?’

  ‘Around three weeks’ time, I think. He was going to cruise the Greek islands. Lucky for some.’ She attempted a smile, but in fact none of this seemed real, or relevant, while her friend was ill in hospital. This whole business was unsettling her. How was she going to cope with looking after Ellie?

  ‘Would you like a hot drink?’ she asked. ‘I can make tea or coffee…and perhaps a sandwich, if you like?’

  She thought he would probably refuse, but he said, ‘That would be great, thanks. Tea and a sandwich would be good. I haven’t eaten for a while.’

  Before she did that, she went to cover Ellie with a light duvet. The child was drowsy, but stirred enough to ask, ‘When’s my mummy coming home?’

  ‘I don’t know, sweetheart. I hope she’ll be well again soon, but until then you can stay here with me. I’ll look after you. I’ll get hold of the key to your mummy’s flat and bring some of your toys up here.’ She stroked the little girl’s curls and tried to soothe her. She would need to bring a supply of clothes, too.

  Ellie was frowning, staring into space. ‘I want my mummy,’ she said.

  ‘I know.’

  Hannah tucked the teddy bear under the duvet so that Ellie could cuddle him, and then she sat on the edge of the bed, gently comforting her until the child’s eyelids began to droop. She knew only too well what Ellie must be going through, being separated from her mother.

  When she finally stood up, she saw that Adam was across the room in the annexe that was her small kitchen, making tea. She pulled the screen she had bought around the bed, dimmed the light and went to help him with the preparations for supper.

  He had already started making the sandwiches, and she said awkwardly, ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean for you to have to do that. I hadn’t expected to take so long. She was half-awake, and she was feeling anxious.’

  He nodded. ‘I heard what she was saying.’ He sent her an oblique glance and said, ‘You look uneasy. Everything that’s happened must have been upsetting for you.’

  She poured the tea, and said quietly, ‘I’m worried about Abby…She looked in a bad way when I left her, and I can imagine how bewildered Ellie must be feeling right now.’

  He pushed a plate of sandwiches towards her. He had found cheese, ham and salad in her fridge, and he had made up a selection. ‘I suppose you’ve been through all that yourself…not once, but many times. This must have brought it all back to you.’

  She nodded. ‘Just lately, it doesn’t take much for the memories to come flooding back. I remember being moved from pillar to post, finding myself in different foster-homes from time to time, wondering when I was going to see my mother again.’ She sent him a swift glance. ‘Shall we take these into the sitting room? We can at least sit down in there.’

  ‘If you like.’ Adam loaded up a tray with cups and plates and carried everything through to the main room, setting the tray down on a low coffee-table. They sat on the sofa and Hannah sipped at her tea, feeling its warmth slowly revive her.

  ‘Didn’t your father ever look after you when your mother wasn’t around?’ he asked. ‘I know he was asked once, but he had only just remarried then. What about later on?’ He bit into his sandwich, waiting for her answer.

  ‘He did, for a short time, when my mother was taken ill. He persuaded his wife to have me stay with them for a while, but they had a child of their own by then, and it didn’t really work out. I went back to my mother for a while, but soon after that she had a nervous breakdown. I had the feeling that my mother was unhappy because he had married someone else. It wasn’t long after that when I went into long-term foster-care.’

  ‘It must have been very confusing for you. It’s almost as though your mother tried her best, but wasn’t able to cope.’

  ‘I suppose so.’ She was quiet for a moment or two, thinking about that. ‘I’ve come to the stage, now, where I need answers, once and for all, even if I’m not going to like what I find.’

  ‘Have you had any success in searching for your mother?’ he asked.

  She shook her head. ‘The missing persons line hasn’t come up with anything yet, and I’ve tried an internet search. There have been a few false leads…I followed up on one or two, but either the people were the wrong age or they didn’t fit the description properly.’

  ‘That must have been a blow?’

  She nodded. ‘Yes, it was. I should have been prepared for disappointment, but I was so hopeful when the information came through. Someone had discovered where my grandmother used to live, and I rushed to
check it out, but it turned out to be a wasted journey. My grandmother passed on some years ago, and the house was sold. There are strangers living there now.’

  Her fingers fidgeted in her lap. ‘I don’t appear to have any other relatives, but I suppose I just have to keep on looking. I’m searching the local records offices, just now, looking for any mention of my mother or her family.’

  Her mouth made a straight line. ‘At least, I can be fairly certain that my mother wasn’t in trouble with the police, or involved with drugs or alcohol, and I’m thankful for that—I feel so sorry for Ryan, because he knows his background, and there’s nothing he can do but live with it. I think it colours everything he does, and that’s why he was in trouble such a lot when he was younger. He was even more disturbed than I was.’

  ‘You can’t compare yourself with Ryan.’ His tone was dismissive. ‘He had a choice, the same as you did. He decided to kick against the system, and cause mayhem, whereas you made something of your life…You made up your mind to become a doctor, and you worked hard until you had carried that ambition through. You can be proud of yourself.’

  She looked at him. ‘I don’t feel that way. I feel as though I’m out of place, at odds with everything. I want answers to questions that go way back.’

  ‘Hasn’t it helped you to know that your adoptive mother cares about you…loves you? Her feelings towards you are genuine, I’m sure.’

  ‘I know that, and I love her dearly, too, and I’ll always be thankful that she took me in and treated me like her own child. Even so, I was with my natural mother on and off for the first years of my life, and I can’t help feeling as though there’s this huge, empty space inside me. My life is a jigsaw with pieces missing, and until I’ve found them I shan’t be complete.’

  Adam’s arm went around her. ‘I know that all this must be difficult for you, but I can’t help thinking that you might come to regret looking for your mother in the end. You don’t know what you’re going to uncover, and the answers to your questions might make you feel worse than you do already.’

  ‘Even so, I don’t think I can move on until I know the truth of what happened…of why my mother left. If she had been ill, why didn’t she come back for me when she recovered? I feel as though I’m stuck in some other dimension, as though my life’s on hold.’

  He drew her close to him, and she registered the warmth of his embrace just as if he had folded a warm blanket around her, sheltering her from a cold, harsh wind.

  ‘I wish I could take some of the hurt away from you,’ he murmured, his voice softening, his grey gaze moving over her with slow deliberation, smoothing over her like a balm to her shattered senses.

  He leaned towards her, his long body gently pressuring hers, urging her to nestle up against him. She could feel the steady beat of his heart beneath her cheek, and she lifted her gaze to him. Then, slowly, compellingly, his head lowered and his mouth claimed the softness of her lips.

  It was a gentle, explorative brush of his mouth on hers, and then he lightly nudged her lips apart. She was suddenly dizzy with the shocking, unexpected intimacy of that kiss, her body vibrant with smouldering sensation that sparked into white-hot flame.

  He tasted the fullness of her lips, the sweetness of her mouth, and his kiss was slow and tender, his tongue lightly flicking along the lush curves, coaxing a sizzling, sensual response from her.

  Hannah’s head was spinning. She couldn’t resist that honeyed invitation, but neither was she prepared for the way her treacherous body was reacting to him, for the way her senses erupted into tumultuous disorder. All at once, this wasn’t enough. She wanted so much more.

  He seemed to recognise that urgent need in her. His hands swept over her, inciting an urgent thrill of sensation to ripple through her body, filling her with unbidden, tantalising hunger for something she couldn’t define.

  ‘You take my breath away,’ he said, in a low ragged voice. His glance trailed over her like the lick of flame, and his grey eyes became smoky with desire as his fingers slid along the line of her bare arm, smoothing over the silk of her skin.

  The tender brush of his hands over her soft curves made her pulses leap, and she melted against him, her softly feminine curves merging with the powerful, muscled strength of his body.

  Wasn’t this what she had always wanted, longed for? For so many years, she had watched Adam from afar, respected him, idolised him, had dared to believe that he might be the one man who had the power to make her whole again, and yet her dreams had ultimately been shattered.

  Ellie began to stir, mumbling in her sleep, a sob in her voice. Hannah swallowed, coming to her senses slowly, and perhaps Adam recognised her withdrawal from him, because he looked at her quizzically.

  ‘Hannah?’

  She couldn’t answer that unspoken question. He wouldn’t understand.

  Perhaps she had been fooling herself all along. He lived in a different world from hers and the two would never come together, would they? Besides, she couldn’t rely on him to be there for her, fighting her corner. Where had he been when she had needed him to support Ryan’s cause?

  She had been desolate when her mother had left her behind, but it had made her fiercely protective of those who were dear to her. Ryan had always been her ally, her defender, like the brother she had never had, and she would never let him down by going over to the enemy.

  Hannah said softly, ‘I should go and check on Ellie. She’s going to be unsettled for quite a while, as long as her mother is away from her.’

  ‘Yes, that’s probably true.’ Adam had never really taken to Ryan, and then he had made his position clear by siding with his father and hurting her foster-brother in the process.

  He was watching her carefully. ‘Hannah…about what just happened…between you and me…’

  ‘It was a mistake,’ Hannah cut in. ‘Perhaps we should put it behind us. It’s been a long day for both of us, and I, for one, wasn’t thinking too clearly.’

  He nodded and seemed to brace himself. ‘You’re right. Anyway, I’d better go. As you say, it’s been a long and difficult day. We should forget what happened this evening. We have to work together, and it wouldn’t do for us to let any relationship get in the way.’ He stood up. ‘I’ll see myself out. You should go and see to Ellie.’

  She didn’t look at him as he left the room. She was afraid that her face would betray her feelings, and she felt extraordinarily close to tears.

  CHAPTER SIX

  ‘I’M WORRIED about Ryan.’ Hannah’s adoptive mother sounded distracted on the phone, as though she was making the call while she was on the move. ‘I was talking to one of his friends, and he let slip that Ryan was having problems with his tutor. It sounds as though he was being hostile and argumentative, and the tutor was threatening to throw him off his course, but the friend wouldn’t tell me any more. Do you know what’s going on, Hannah?’

  ‘This is the first I’ve heard of it,’ Hannah admitted. It didn’t sound like the Ryan she knew, but it worried her all the same. ‘It might just be the pressure of exams,’ she said, searching for a reason. ‘Anyway, I’ll try to get in touch with him and find out more, but I don’t know how much he’ll tell me. Whatever the outcome, I’ll do my best to help him out, I promise.’

  ‘Thanks, Hannah, I knew I could rely on you. I must go. I have to take the dog to the vet for his booster injection. You know how difficult that’s going to be. Saxon hates going in the car.’

  Hannah laughed. ‘I remember…A bit of bribery’s called for…a few biscuits or treats strategically placed on the back seat might do the trick. Best of luck. Bye, Mum. I’ll talk to you later.’

  Hannah cut the call, and walked from the inner courtyard, where she had been taking a quick afternoon break, back into A and E. She wasn’t having a good day. All of her patients so far had been difficult to treat and had suffered complications, and Adam was watching her like a hawk. Now she had the added worry of wondering what was going on with Ryan.


  ‘I see that you have your patient on a cardiac monitor,’ Adam said when he found her studying some lab test results a few minutes later. ‘Have you thought about the differential diagnosis?’ His tone was brisk, and he seemed to be in a hurry, flicking casually through the patient’s notes while he was on the move.

  ‘Yes, I have, but I’m not convinced that there isn’t a primary hyperparathyroidism.’ Hannah stood her ground. He was putting her through a cross-examination, but she was sure of her facts and she didn’t see why he would want to interfere with her treatment of this patient.

  ‘She’s lost weight, has generalised aches and pains, muscle weakness, thirst and excessive urination, and the blood tests have come back showing loss of magnesium and potassium and a high serum calcium. Given all her symptoms, I want to start her on fluids right away. I planned on rehydrating her with isotonic saline and 5 per cent dextrose, with potassium and magnesium supplements.’

  ‘That will certainly help to lower the serum calcium.’ He glanced at the results. ‘Give her a bisphosphonate in saline infusion over four hours. That will inhibit the resorption from bone.’ He handed the chart back to her. ‘You should get a parathyroid hormone measurement, and then you might need to refer her for surgery.’

  ‘That’s what I thought.’

  He nodded. ‘I’ll leave it with you, then. If there are any problems, ask Colin to give you a hand, or give Mr Tremayne a call. I’ll be in a meeting in the personnel office for the next half-hour or so.’

  He walked away from her, and she watched him go, unsure what to make of his manner. He was being utterly businesslike, and she didn’t know how to take his cool, matter-of-fact approach to her. It felt as though he was distancing himself from her, and perhaps she only had herself to blame for that.

  ‘He’s going for a meeting about the consultant’s post,’ Colin said, coming to stand alongside her and following Adam’s progress along the corridor. ‘Mr Tremayne looks set to move on in a couple of months, and Adam is the most likely candidate for the job.’