“I didn’t know until this past week if I was in love with him or not, much less if he was in love with me. Kissing Lord Arthur was a test.”
“You are saying that it was not the unfortunate kiss but this last week that convinced you that you were not in love with William?”
“When I realized it is not so important, Elena.” Dio mio, she wanted to avoid the last week and here she was the one who had brought it up.
Elena’s soft expression changed to something maternal and not quite as kind. “Mia, tell me what happened between you and David.”
“Nothing.” Mia knew it was the most unconvincing word she had ever uttered.
“You were in quarantine. Do not tell me that you have fallen in love with one of the grooms.” Her tone indicated that she would not believe that for a minute.
“Of course not. But Lord David does not like me at all. And I think he is a bore who only thinks of his cotton mill.”
“I hope that’s the truth.”
Mia noted that Elena did not press her further. Whatever the reason, Mia thanked God for it.
“Mia, what David wants from the duke and what Meryon is willing to give is very much in discussion right now. David dares not do anything that will compromise the faith Meryon has in him.” She smoothed the light rug over her gargantuan stomach and patted it as though settling the baby inside.
“My husband is conservative when it comes to the interests of the estate. He knows how important this mill is to his brother and he is pulled two ways. On one side he wants to take the financial risk to give David a chance to prove himself. On the other side he firmly believes that preserving the estate’s capital is his mandate.”
“But if David is successful …” Mia pressed her lips together and began again. “When David is successful the mill will mean even more wealth for the estate.”
“So you have talked to David about this.”
“A little.” But obviously not nearly enough.
“Then you know how important this project is to him.”
“Yes,” Mia said, but she must have sounded doubtful because Elena went on.
“Securing the financing and completing the project means more to David than anything since he left to begin his naval career.”
“Oh” was all Mia could think of to say. Why had David never explained any of this to her? With that weighing on his mind Mia was amazed that she had been able to distract him at all.
“The last thing David needs is to weaken his position with his brother, so please tell me that your behavior together was above reproach.”
“If you saw us when we arrived, you would have no doubt that we are barely on speaking terms.” That, at least, was the complete truth.
“It would be best if it stays that way. It will be in your and David’s best interests.”
Mia saw Elena wince and, despite the fact they had yet to discuss the future, Mia realized that Elena’s new and more urgent responsibilities came first.
“You rest now, Elena. I will come back later and play for you.”
Elena nodded and Mia stood. When it seemed that Elena was comfortable again, Mia bent over and kissed her cheek. “Ringrazio, la mia duchessa.”
“Ti amo, cara.”
Chapter Thirty-two
“NOT NOW, DAVID.” The duke spoke as he rifled through a ledger, then handed it to his secretary. “I’m having dinner with the duchess. I will see you in the morning.” He signed two items and passed those on to Wentworth. The field manager added the papers to the others he held. “It will keep, will it not?” the duke asked when David did not answer.
“Yes, Your Grace.” David felt his jaw throb. His brother could not spare five minutes to tell him if he had heard from the trustees. He needed no further sign that this project was not of any more interest to Lyn than how many sheep could be raised on the farm in Kent.
David’s terse answer did, finally, draw the duke’s attention. “Is there something else? Did everything go as expected in Sandleton? I’ve taken care of a pension for the coachman’s family.” He made a vague gesture with his hand, as much as asking if he had forgotten anything and, if not, why was David wasting his time.
“All went exactly as I thought it would.”
The duke nodded, once again absorbed in the paper he was scanning before signing, not actually hearing the ambiguous answer. But Meryon’s secretary shifted his gaze from the duke’s papers to David.
David avoided his eyes.
“Yes, so I thought. Tomorrow at nine.” The duke was out the door before any one of them could command his attention for something they thought more important than the dinner with his duchess.
“If you’ll beg my pardon, my lord.” Roland bowed with all the deference of a secretary used to the occasional harsh word. “The duke is very preoccupied these days. Even Lady Olivia has trouble holding his attention.”
“Thank you, Roland,” David said, and turned to leave. He had to get out of the house.
Puffing on a cigarillo, David made his way down the road to the vicar’s house, considering that very unsatisfying meeting with his brother.
Olivia was Meryon’s favorite, so the fact that he found her an annoying distraction was significant. They all, to a man and woman, understood that the duke was worried. His first wife had died in childbirth, and now his beloved second wife was about to deliver.
David knew he could not postpone his project until a more opportune time presented itself. He would fail. He would lose the site he had already negotiated to buy, as well as the architect he had hired on promise of payment. On the other hand, he would fail if Meryon declined to fund the project.
Damn times five fat men, he would rather think about Mia than consider that dark possibility.
He’d had no word on how she’d fared in her meeting with Elena and he would probably not see her at breakfast. In any case he was leaving for Birmingham as soon as he had the duke’s decision. He would not delay any longer. It was becoming the most overused word in his vocabulary. And there was nothing more destructive to the new industries than delay. He would not tolerate it again.
“Have I ever told you the story of how I met the old vicar on this very path one night when he was out looking for ‘lost sheep’?” Michael Garrett fell into step alongside him.
David started and then swore to himself. Even when she was not beside him Mia Castellano was a distraction.
“Good to have you home, David.” Garrett slapped him on the back. “And how long has it been since someone came upon you unaware?”
“I’m going to be at your house in five minutes.”
“Still a master at not answering questions, I see.”
“Garrett, despite your priestly vocation, you still annoy the hell out of me.” David pinched out his smoke and stuffed it in his pocket.
“It’s not the priest that annoys you. Whoever would have guessed that those years as a spy during the war would be such good practice for seeing straight through to the secrets in a man’s soul?”
“You’re wasted in Pennsford. A man with your skills could reform the Regent.”
“No, thank you. I am very happy with my little church, my very loving Olivia, and our son.” He waited only a second before going on. “So how was your meeting with the duke?”
“He put it off until tomorrow.”
They spent the next few minutes discussing the best way to present the need for funding to the duke. Garrett was a master at convincing men to do what he thought best. “Let’s discuss it over port after dinner.”
“You should make the speech for me,” David said, ignoring the suggestion.
“No, you are the one who cares passionately about this, but I will be there to offer my support.”
“Thank you. You on my side may be all it will take. I know how Lyn listens to you and values your opinion.”
“After dinner you can practice with me and I will point out the shortcomings.”
Garrett laughed, and Davi
d gave him a sarcastic “How generous of you.”
The vicar waved off the faux compliment. “So now tell me why you refused to bring Miss Castellano to dinner with you.”
“Mia does not like you or Olivia.”
“Nonsense. Everyone likes Olivia. And Mia would love to flirt with someone as safe as I am. Happily married and a priest.”
“She is angry with me.”
“Closer to the truth, I think.”
“Oh, damn times twelve tyrants, Garrett, leave it alone. Mia and I have just spent a week together under very uncomfortable circumstances and have no desire to be in each other’s company.”
“Which means she bores you. Which I do not think is possible. Or is it that you need time apart to think clearly?”
“It’s even more simple than that. She hates me.”
“Because?” Garrett prompted.
“Because I refuse to treat life as an adventure. Because I do not know how to have fun. She thinks only of her own world and not what others need.” Not completely true, but adequate to the purpose, which was to convince Garrett that Mia was of no interest to him.
His words did silence Garrett, though the fact that he was walking very slowly, David knew, meant he had more to say.
“David, tell me what happened at Sandleton.”
“Damn it to hell and back, Garrett.” David stopped and willed his heart to slow. “Even one of Olivia’s dinners is not worth going through this inquisition.”
“Then I will take an even less pleasant tack. Miss Castellano is right. You do not know how to have fun. You have not allowed yourself to even consider happiness, not once in the years I have known you. Olivia thinks it is because of what happened in Mexico, even though she has no idea what that was.”
David wanted to punch the superciliousness out of the man there and then, but Michael put his hands behind his back and kept talking.
“I do know what happened in Mexico and agree with my wife that that is the reason. You live with it every day and you will not allow yourself forgiveness.”
“People died; innocent men, women, and even children were tortured and murdered because of me.”
“No, David, not because of you,” Garrett corrected, his voice adamant. “They died because the diabolical mind of an overseer found a way to punish you for being smarter, stronger, and more clever than he was.”
“Why did I ever tell you about Mexicado? Will you never let it go?”
“Not until you do,” Garrett said, his voice echoing the shared pain. “Every time you broke a rule some other slave, men and women who were your friends, was put to death. You were too valuable to lose. It’s the overseer who has earned a place in hell.”
David stopped walking. “I could have killed myself. I could have ended it.” He could feel the water in his eyes and looked away, then started walking again, hoping Garrett would not notice.
“No, you are a Pennistan and they survive. Killing yourself would be like losing in the ring on purpose. That’s not in you, David. Not in you at all.”
David shrugged. That was the truth.
“If you are afraid to love again because you fear loss, then it is too late.”
“You have no Romany blood, Garrett. So stop speaking like a gypsy and tell me what you mean.”
“You are surrounded by people you love. If that bastard overseer were here now, whom would he choose to kill? And if you are afraid that God plays the same sort of game, then you are a worse heretic than Luther.”
They had reached the path to his front door and Garrett stopped him.
“I am going to preach for less than a minute and then change the subject.”
David shook his head. “You’ve said it before.”
“Yes, but have you been listening?” Garrett pulled open the gate but stood in the middle of the opening. “God wants us to be happy and fulfilled. Anything that brings us joy is good.”
David looked down at the ground and thought of laughing with Mia.
“Do you hear me, David?”
Garrett’s voice vibrated with such feeling that David thought he’d best agree to avoid a fistfight.
“Yes, I do. It’s a refreshingly brief recount of your favorite sermon.”
Garrett seemed to relax a little. “And it brings us back to Mia.”
“Who does hate me.”
“Ah, hate is such a wonderful sensibility. So much better than if you bored her, or frightened her, or even if she cordially disliked you. It’s even more significant that you do not hate her.”
Now the priest was gone and the man, the friend, was baiting him.
“She’ll be twenty-one in a little more than a year and, she has informed me, will be making her own decisions.”
“Oh God, don’t tell me you tried to make decisions for her.”
“Yes, yes, I did. And I assure you it was as disastrous as her ideas were bad.”
Garrett clapped him on the back. “Nothing new about that, David. Women want to make their own decisions. The sooner you learn that, the better.”
“What are you two doing out there? Have you lost your way? Come here right now, David. I need a hug, and Garrett, your son is asking for his papa.”
Olivia stood at the door, wearing an apron. If her command was not pointed enough, the enticing smell of dinner was an allure neither man could ignore.
Chapter Thirty-three
“YOU SEEM MUCH HAPPIER, Mia.” Janina fixed a flower in Mia’s hair and then stood back to admire her handiwork. “I am so glad that it went well with Elena and you two are on happy terms again.”
“Yes, and I found a pianoforte which is in excellent tune.”
“Good,” Nina said perfunctorily. “So now you are hoping Lord David will propose and make everything perfect?”
“No! What would be perfect about that? I do not want to marry without love, and he will never say the words.”
“Who won’t? That short man, the viscount? What does he know?”
Mia clenched her teeth and did not correct Nina’s misunderstanding. She’d said too much already. “Are you sure this dress isn’t too much for a family dinner?”
“You look beautiful in it. The varied color in the ruffles is very flattering. Pink always makes your face glow.”
Mia stopped for a bit of perfume, a dark spicy scent that reminded her of a late-night rendezvous. She picked up her book in case she had to wait and, with the help of a footman, found her way to the room where the family gathered before dinner.
The room was empty with no fire, but Mia poured herself some sherry and sat to wait for the others. It would most likely be a small group. Perhaps Olivia and Michael would join the duke, David, and her. That would be perfect. After dinner they could all go to Elena’s room for coffee.
She took a sip of the sherry and stood when she heard someone come to the door. The majordomo, Winthrop, came into the room, looking pained and unpleasant. Did the man ever smile?
“Miss Castellano, did no one tell you that there is no formal family dinner this evening?”
Mia put her sherry glass down very, very carefully. “Is that so, Winthrop?”
“Lord David has gone to the Garretts’,” Winthrop said, apparently reading a question in her civil reply. “And His Grace will have a private dinner with Her Grace. The housekeeper arranged for a tray to be sent to your room.”
“Very good.” Mia nodded, pretending not to be completely mortified. Winthrop waited a moment, then bowed and left the room.
Draining the sherry in one sustaining gulp, Mia stared at the picture over the fireplace.
She had so wanted to see David tonight. To see if she could learn more about the cotton mill from him or from the conversation. If she understood enough, she would have taken part and showed that she did care about what was important to him.
Mia looked at the glass she held, squeezed it tight, then threw it hard into the fireplace. It shattered, and she sank into the nearest chair.
Maybe
it was childish of her to throw things when she knew how busy and upset the household was by the duchess’s approaching confinement. It wasn’t even very satisfying and it certainly did not accomplish anything. What she would do is find the music room and play all the Beethoven she could recall. His music was most satisfying when she was unhappy.
Summoning what dignity she could muster, Mia left the room. She refused to further discover how little she belonged in this house by asking the footman on duty for directions. She had been to the music room once and could surely find her way on her own. Mia began to walk purposefully down the corridor.
DAVID CAME BACK UP to the castle even less aware of his surroundings than he had been on the way down. The wine and food had been followed by a port that a friend of Garrett’s had sent from Europe. Olivia had gone up to say good night to their son, a convenient excuse to disappear for the rest of the evening. That left David free to discuss his hopes of the Meryon estate financing for his cotton mill.
Between the two of them, they had finished off the bottle before Garrett was satisfied that David’s presentation was as sound as it could be.
Garrett had not brought up David and Mia’s relationship again. The man’s ability to drop a subject was the only thing that made him tolerable. That and his willingness to meet David in the boxing ring. Tomorrow, he had agreed, and was looking forward to watching David’s match with Romero.
The boxing matches would be no more than a temporary distraction. Garrett might not have mentioned Mia again, but David was still all too aware that his future with Mia Castellano was not settled.
Garrett’s insistence that David had as much right to happiness as anyone had not left his head all evening.
He was so sure he had done with even thinking about happiness. In Mexicado, the cost of caring had taught him to hide his sensibilities carefully, to forsake any hope of happiness for the greater good. He was not going to risk his heart or people’s lives. But he had risked love again when he came home to the circle of his family.
Mary Blayney - [Pennistan 04] Page 25