Allerton and Axtell

by Gary Lee Martinson

  She picked one of the papers up to study it more carefully. On the first line, was a crude picture of a window with an arrow on the bottom pane pointing upward. The next picture was a building and a compass with an arrow pointing north. On the second line, there were scissors and a fluffy puff she didn’t recognize. “Gilbert,” she interrupted his writing, “what is this paper with all the little,’ pictures’, on it?”

  He turned his head around to look at her. He had to think for a moment, then figured out what she was talking about. “That is Barney’s list of things to do tomorrow.”

  It took Katie a few seconds to comprehend the fact that the list would be for someone that could not read. She thought how Barney must have felt when she was raving about how great reading was. “Barney can’t read?”

  “Not a word.”

  Katie was saddened by the thought he couldn’t read. She thought of herself as a caring person and twice in one night she had insulted a very nice man. Gilbert finished his letter to Clara and brought it over to Katie. “That’s why he left so suddenly, isn’t it.” She said out loud to herself, but also to get confirmation from Gilbert.

  Gilbert didn’t understand, “I’m Sorry?”

  “I insulted Barney twice tonight. Once about his stuttering and once about him not being able to read.” She said with remorse.

  “I can’t believe you did that,” Gilbert seriously said. “You’re one of the sweetest people I know.”

  “I know, I didn’t mean to.” She began to cry, “I didn’t know he couldn’t read.”

  “Well what exactly did you say?”

  “I just asked him if he read much. Then I told him I would bring him some books to read if he wanted to.” she took a handkerchief from Gilbert’s extended hand.

  “You couldn’t have known,” Gilbert comforted her, “it isn’t your fault if he felt insulted.”

  “Well, I still feel bad.” Katie said, “Do you think he was insulted.”

  “Katie,” Gilbert went on, “you are the nicest girl I know. Barney is the nicest man I know. It is a shame this has happened, but Barney isn’t going to hate you for it. He probably feels worse for you, if he knew you felt so bad about it.”

  She chuckled, “I understand what you are saying.” She blew her nose in Gilbert’s handkerchief. She handed it back to Gilbert. He took it politely and threw it on a pile of what appeared to be dirty clothes.

  Gilbert sealed up the envelope and gave it to Katie. He then escorted her to the entry of the barn. It looked very dark outside, so Gilbert decided to walk her home. Katie was deep in thought most of the way home before she said anything. “Does Barney show any interest in learning how to read?”

  “Well,” Gilbert responded, “I never asked him, but I made a chart for him once. I listed the letters of the alphabet and a picture of an item that started with that letter.”

  “How did that work?”

  “Well,” Gilbert chuckled, “If the letter ‘C’ was the word for cat it worked fine.” They chuckled for a minute. “Are you thinking of trying to teach him?”

  “Might be fun.”

  “Well, it wouldn’t be a bad thing, but I hope you realize what you’re getting yourself into.” Gilbert stated with great interest. “Make sure he wants to learn, before you try to force him to learn.”

  “So, I might be a little pushy sometimes?”

  “Not, pushy really,” he tried to explain diplomatically, “maybe a bit to anxious.”

  The next evening when Gilbert and Barney were fixing a barn door. Katie approached the two carrying two books. “Hi, Barney, Hi, Gilbert.”

  Gilbert replied quickly, “Hello, Katie.” Barney nodded, then walk away quietly.

  Katie took a deep breath, looked at Gilbert, “Barney,” her voice shaky with uncertainty. Barney turned around to look at her politely. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

  “Shhhure,” Barney spoke quietly.

  Katie walked over to him trying not to be to anxious. “I am sorry for the things I said yesterday. I don’t think bad of you because you stutter. And I figured out that you can’t read,” Barney lowered his head, “I want to teach you.” Her face lit up with excitement. She felt herself getting too anxious, so she calmed herself down a bit, “If you would like to learn to read?” Barney just stared at her. “I don’t think you are stupid and you could learn quickly. I’ll come out here twice a week or so and we’ll sit down together to learn. I want to be a teacher and teaching you would be a delightful and fulfilling achievement for me. And, you would learn how to read to boot.” Her smile again showed how it could melt the most evil of people. “I want to teach you and if you learn to read, a whole new world will open up for you.”

  Gilbert who had busied himself with brushing down a nearby horse cleared his throat loudly.

  Katie caught the hint from Gilbert, “But!” She forced out, “Only if you want to.”

  Barney looked at her blankly, “Y-y-y-you fffeeeel sorry for me.”

  “I will feel sorry for you, if you don’t let me help you.” Katie said as she dropped the books and grabbed his hands. “You deserve to have the opportunity to learn to read. Once you know how to read you can learn on your own time, anything that you want to learn, by reading. Reading is the key to unlock every door. I have made a chart for you that will help you to sort out the alphabet.” She knelt down to pick up one of the books. She opened it and pulled out a sheet of paper folded inside. She unfolded it and showed it to Barney who looked at it with some interest.

  “I have that in m-m-m-my room,” he told her.

  “This is a bit different.” She said as she pointed out the symbols, “There is the letter ‘A’ and that letter is the first letter of the word, ‘Apple’.” She continued to show Barney the letters. Barney listened politely as she rambled on.

  Gilbert came over to them. “Barney, I’ll finish up here. Why don’t you and Katie go to the office and really work on this.” Barney agreed to go along, which thrilled Katie beyond words. She had to hold back the urge of jumping with joy.

  For the next month Katie and Barney got together to further Barney’s education, who was really trying hard to learn. Katie found it more difficult to teach him than she had anticipated. It did not keep her from being enthusiastic and confident that he would learn to read. Barney was enjoying the time he spent with Katie.

  Gilbert used simple words in his lists, as Katie informed him of his progress.

  One morning in early May of, 1891, Gilbert was rubbing down Anna Dickinson in the main show barn. Mr. Williams had just had her out for a short jog around the old track. Mr. Williams was moving around some hay in the barn when a gentleman, dressed in formal black wear that was a few sizes too small, approached him.

  “Sir,” the gentleman inquired of Mr. Williams, “do you know where I may find Mr. Gilbert Fenny?”

  Mr. Williams stopped his activity and answered as he looked in Gilbert’s direction, “He’s three stalls down on the right.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “My pleasure,” Mr. Williams replied as he watched the man proceed toward Gilbert. Gilbert overheard the inquiry and stepped out from the stall into the main drive of the barn. The man resembled Abe Lincoln so much it was a bit frightening. The man was tall, but had poor posture. This man’s head, appeared to proceed the rest of his body by nearly a foot, resembling a vulture.

  The thought of a new meaning to winning by a head forced him to smile. He also thought the man would have been six foot five had his neck been upright. He had on a white shirt with a small black string tie. He had black hair that was not well kept and the hint of whiskers was on his face.

  The eerie man turned his cold dark eyes to Gilbert, “Mr. Gilbert Fenny?”

  “Yes,” he replied. Mr. Williams stopped his activity and strolled toward them.

  The vulture man spoke
quietly and slowly as if in a mortuary. “My name is James Liverly and I have a request from your father to bring you to him.”

  Gilbert had not thought about his father in years, and certainly did not want to think about him now. He especially resented the fact his father would demand him to accompany this ragged looking man. He quickly realized he was judging this man on his appearance and not on his true character. Just like many people have judged him in the past. The man was very polite and rather graceful with his movements.

  Gilbert politely replied. “I have no father.” He turned away from the gentleman and started to go back into the stall.

  The vulture man could see the disappointment in Gilbert. His father had warned him of this possible reaction. “Albert is dying and he wants to see you before he goes.” He paused for a moment before he continued. “I am the mortician at the Hospital for the Insane. He has been there for the last four years.” Gilbert froze staring at the straw on the floor of the stall. His eyes filled with tears, but none escaped his eyes.

  Mr. Williams slowly moved to the stall and stood behind Gilbert silently for a few seconds before he spoke. “Gilbert, no one can make you go. But I am afraid that if you don’t, you may regret it for the rest of your life.” He looked at the mortician before he continued, “Your father has mistreated you and you have every reason to be mad at him. But he is dying and this may be his only chance to seek forgiveness from you. God will judge him for his sins now. This may also be your only chance to understand him and get some answers.” He put his hand on his shoulder tenderly. “I will trust your judgement on what ever you decide to do. I will go with you if you wish.”

  Gilbert nodded slightly, “I will see him. You don’t have to go, sir.”

  “I would like to go if it will help you.”

  “I’ll be all right.” Gilbert said as he turned to follow the mortician.

  James gestured with his hand to direct him out of the barn. “I have a buggy outside.” Except for the wheels of the buggy rolling and the pounding of the horse’s hooves on the dirt road the ride was silent and eerie. Gilbert squinted his eyes, when they turned south toward the sun. The asylum looked very large and ominous in the distance. As they approached, Gilbert’s stomach turned into knots. The vision of the massive brick building slowly getting bigger put him into a trance. He noticed the tall smoke stack in the back billowing black smoke that drifted lazily to the north. They turned onto a half mile ‘U’ shaped entrance road, that past in front of the large main building. He was awakened from this trance when they stopped outside the front doors.

  They dismounted and the long necked man tied the horse and buggy up to the post out front. Gilbert stood silently waiting, until he led him into the large entry way of the building. The hallway was massive looking with high concrete walls on both sides and a main desk at the end of the hall. They proceeded to the desk where the long necked man nodded to two men dressed in white. They turned right, down another large main hall. There were steps leading up to the second level of the hospital. They went down another hall and stopped outside a room that had a half glass steel door. There was a curtain pulled shut from the inside of the room.

  The man spoke quietly to Gilbert, “Your father is dying of a liver disease. He may live for a few weeks or it may just be for a few days. He has not lost his mind, but seems to have found it recently. In other words, he knows what he is saying. I will be waiting out here if you need anything.”

  “Thank you,” Gilbert said serenely, “you have been very kind.”

  James, the mortician, pushed the door open for him. Gilbert stepped into the dark room, but he could see a man lying on the bed motionless. He could not determine in his mind, that this man was his father. He looked very different. His face was thin, his cheek bones were overly defined. He had very little hair and the hair he had was very thin and stringy. The rest of him was covered by a thin blanket and sheet.

  The man in the bed spoke weakly, “Who is it?”

  There was a moment of silence as Gilbert couldn’t think of a good way to answer. He was still not fully convinced that this man was his father. “I am Gilbert Fenny, sir.”

  The man gave a relieving sigh, then weakly said something in such a low tone Gilbert had trouble hearing, “Sir?”

  “Gilbert, my son, could you open the curtains a bit, please?” Gilbert was still not convinced this was his father, because his father had never said, ‘please’ before in his life.

  “Sure,” he went to the window and spread the curtains apart. The sun light was so bright he had to close his eyes before turning back toward his father.

  With the added light from the window, he recognized him as his father. He had changed in appearance a great deal, but was still recognizable. Albert Fenny was sitting up slightly with his bony arms exposed. He appeared to be very pale.

  His eyes were barely open when the withering man began to speak. “Gilbert,” he raised his hand slightly, but put it back down quickly, “I must tell you a few things before I die.” He took a few shallow breaths and a labored swallow, before speaking again. “I was a horrible father, - husband, - man.” He seemed to struggle to swallow again before continuing. He spoke very softly and slowly, “I treated you badly and for that, I am very sorry.” He took a few more breaths, “You have grown into a fine young man. I have heard about you and I am very proud of you.”

  Gilbert was silent and listened to him carefully. His iced heart for his father began to thaw painfully. Albert continued, “I was never a man and because of that, you were never a boy. You had to be the man in my place and I hated you for it. I was very wrong, I am very sorry.”

  Gilbert began to feel sorry for this frail broken pathetic man, broke his silence, “I wouldn’t have been as much of a success if I hadn’t had to grow up so quickly.”

  “Maybe,” he said shaking his head slightly, “You would have been a man and a success if you had a mother and father. I took both of those away from you.” He paused again as tears trickled down his thin face. “What I tell you now, you will never forgive me for. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me.” Gilbert’s thoughts were wandering. “There are so many things that I have done that deserves your hatred.” He had to stop for a moment to gather strength and to swallow. “Could you get me a drink of water?”

  “Yes, sir,” Gilbert said as he searched the room and found a ceramic pitcher and tin cup. He poured some of the water into the cup and placed the cup on the bottom lip of his weak father. His father opened his mouth as Gilbert poured just a bit into his mouth.

  Albert again took a few breaths and swallowed, “I never told you that you have relatives that live in Dubuque. They are on your mother’s side. Your grandmother is Ethel Crandall and your aunt is Rachel Morrisey.” He took another short pause to swallow, “I told them that your mother took you and ran away with another man.”

  Gilbert felt warmed by the idea he had family. He began to wildly think he would contact them as soon as he gets back to Rush Park. He thought his father may tell him where he could find his mother. The thought excited him so much that he blurted out, “Do you know where my mother is?”

  Albert Fenny said as tears streamed down his face. “Yes,” he weakly squeezed out and he mouthed words that remained unheard. He knew they weren’t being heard so he tried to project to Gilbert again. “I,” he started, but found it difficult to continue. Then he forced himself to speak, “I buried her under a willow tree.” Albert turned his head and shook with crying fits of shame. Gilbert was stunned in silence as tears began to stream down his face. “I am so sorry.” He said as if he really meant it.

  Gilbert sat there in silence for several minutes his mind clouded by the news. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised. He had suspected he had killed her for many years. He had always hoped she was alive and someday he would see her again. He slowly stood up and despite his anger and determination not to speak to hi
s father, he had to ask solemnly, “Which tree?”

  His father weakly spoke the words that Gilbert didn’t want to hear. “The big one by the river just south of the ice house.” Gilbert knew immediately it was his own wishing tree. The tree that he seemed drawn to all these past years. The tree which he would go to for sanctuary from his fathers rage, and for seclusion to dream of better times to come. The tree that gave him a better understanding of Clara and where he actually realized that he loved her. He walked out of the room not caring to look back or say good-bye to his father. In the hall outside the room, sitting on a wooden bench, was Mr. and Mrs. Williams. They both got up as Gilbert came out of the room. They could both feel the pain he was experiencing by the look on his face. Mrs. Williams went to his side immediately and held on to him, because he appeared to her to be on the verge of passing out.

  He didn’t speak about what his father had told him. Mr. Williams instructed his wife, “Take Gilbert to the carriage.” Mr. Williams went into Albert’s room along with James the mortician. He emerged from the hospital a few minutes after Gilbert and Nellie had gotten on the carriage. Mr. and Mrs. Williams didn’t leave Gilbert for the rest of the day. They took him to their home.

  Gilbert sat for an hour before getting up, “I will do my chores.”

  Mr. Williams ordered, “No, you stay right here.”

  Mrs. Williams suggested, “Charles, it would be better for him to stay busy.”

  Park was playing with his little brother Ross on the floor of the parlor. Mrs. Williams sat down in a chair close to Gilbert and started to knit.

  Mrs. Williams spoke to Park, who had begun to irritate Ross by pulling his feet, when he tried to crawl away, “Park, leave your brother alone. He doesn’t like that.” Park then left Ross and went to Gilbert.

  “Gilbert, would you read me a story?” Park asked.