Liar's Fire: A Cooper Brothers Novel

by Dee Burks

  “I’m a writer.”

  “What do you write?”

  “Little bit of everything.” This was going nowhere.

  He grabbed a handful of peanuts from the bucket on the table and chewed with his mouth open, throwing the shells on the floor. “These babies sure make you thirsty.” He motioned to the waitress for more drinks.

  Serena shook her head. “I’m fine thanks, but you go ahead.” And he did. While they chatted about the weather, he drained another and ordered more. She narrowed her eyes at him. “You really like tequila.”

  He gave her a lopsided smile. “Yeah, you see I’m hypoglycemic, so tequila has almost no effect on me at all. And yes, ma’am, I do like it.” He raised his glass to her and drained the whole thing.

  “Did your doctor tell you that?”

  “No, my mom did. She ought to know, she’s the same way. Drinks a fifth a day and never had any problem with it.” He leaned toward her. “Say, how close are you and that pretty friend of yours?”

  Tequila-laden breath floated across the table, assaulting her senses. “We get along all right.” Her eyes watered.

  “I bet you two make a great team.” He tried to wink, but failed. “I’ve been known to be a team player myself on occasion.”

  Team player? Oh my god! Time for a little rescue. While Bill ordered another drink, Serena moved her purse to the other side of the chair in the predetermined signal for Will to show up. She waited.

  Nothing. She glanced behind her. Nolea shrugged and pointed to the restroom.

  “So, Honey.” Bill reached over and grabbed her hand. “What’s say we find somewhere a little quieter?”

  Serena’s heart pounded. She willed herself not to panic as she tried to tug her fingers from his large sweaty hand.

  “Serena?” Nolea appeared next to her chair. “We really need to get going.”

  “Hey there, sweet thang.” Bill’s drawl became more pronounced and much louder. “We’s talking about a little get-together over at my place. How about it?”

  “How about what?”

  Serena finally snatched her hand away from Bill’s drunken grasp. “Why yes, Nolea. You see Bill is a team player.”

  Nolea raised a brow. “Oh really? How convenient.” She trailed a finger down Bill’s arm. “Just what we were looking for.”

  “I am?” Bill seemed shocked.

  He wasn’t the only one. “He is?” What in the hell was Nolea up too?

  “Definitely.” Nolea grinned. “We brought along most of the equipment. The chains and dog collar are in the trunk. You don’t mind a little blood do you, Bill?”

  “Blood?” he squeaked.

  Serena tried not to laugh. The man turned ashen, and his drinking hand shook. She played along.

  “The last time was an accident, Nolea. I’m sure Bill is man enough to take it.” She scrunched her nose at him and smiled.

  Bill jumped up. “Uh, ladies, I don’t really think I’m what you’re looking for.”

  Nolea wiggled up against him, and he backed away as if burned. “Oh you’re exactly what we need. No attachments, no commitments, no relatives to ask questions.”

  Bill staggered backward and reached into his pocket. “Uh. I gotta be going.” He tossed cash on the table and hurried past the bar, almost knocking Will over in his attempt to escape.

  “That guy looks like he saw a ghost,” Will said as Nolea and Serena joined him.

  “More like a Dominatrix,” Serena said.

  Nolea glared at Will. “And why did you pick now to inspect the porcelain?”

  “When you gotta go, you gotta go. What did I miss?”

  “A used car salesman aka porno king wanna be.” Serena motioned to the bartender for a glass of water and climbed onto a barstool next to a cowboy. He turned and gave her a polite nod then proceeded to mind his own business, thank God. Nolea and Will scooted their stools closer to her.

  “How much time ’til the next show?” Will ordered another beer as Serena glanced at her watch.

  “Twenty minutes.” The evening already dragged.

  “What’s the scoop on date number two?” Nolea asked.

  Serena consulted her notebook. “Tall, has an IT degree, is almost thirty. His name’s Michael.”

  “Almost thirty? So since you couldn’t rob the grave with the last one, you’re going for the cradle with number two?” Will snickered.

  Nolea glared. “Listen Diaper Dan. You’re thirty too, and if that is what works for her, then that’s fine.”

  “Twenty-nine. So are you saying an old chick, like yourself, would be willing to have a go at a younger man?” Will wiggled his eyebrows at Nolea. “Like me?”

  “Not on the darkest night, on the loneliest island at the end of the earth.” Nolea sipped her drink.

  “I love it when you play hard to get.” He grinned.

  Serena ignored them, and leaned back to get a better look at the door.

  The cowboy glanced over his shoulder at her. “Am I in your way?”

  “No, you’re fine.” She looked up into deep blue eyes. He smiled. In fact you’re very fine. Too bad this kind of guy didn’t run an ad. She dragged her eyes away from his and tried to focus on the business at hand. He turned around and sipped his beer, ignoring her again. Though he wore a casual shirt and jeans, the old crinkled straw hat gave him away as the real thing, not some kind of drugstore cowboy.

  A tall lanky man with spiked blond hair walked up to Nolea. “You’re Serena, I hope?”

  Will laughed. “Strike one, lover boy.”

  Serena thought she saw the cowboy smile as she scrambled off her stool and around to the man. “I’m Serena. Why don’t we get a table and talk for a while?” She pulled his sleeve, leading him away from the bar.

  The waitress followed and Serena ordered another margarita.

  “I’ll have milk,” Michael said.

  Milk? Did he actually say milk? Who orders milk on a date? She cleared her throat. “So, Michael, what do you do?” His baby face sported what looked like the first whiskers he’d ever grown, and they barely covered his chin. He could be her son’s age. Obviously he’d exaggerated a bit in the ad. He’d be 29 all right, in about 10 years.

  “I test software.”

  “Oh really?” He might look young, but at least he had a real job. That was something. “What kind of software?”

  “Video games.”

  So much for a real job.

  “Do you play?” he asked.

  “No. Not really.”

  “Why not?”

  Because I’m a grownup. “I guess I never really got into it.”

  “Man, that’s too bad. I mean,” he leaned forward. “You have no idea how good it feels to beat a program that people spent months or even years designing.” He motioned with his hands as he talked, his excitement building. “I mean, take the one I’m working on now. I’ve been trying to get out of underworld for almost two months now. Tried everything. Firing the granite, worshiping the maker, you name it. Finally last week I got out of the afterlife tunnel and figured out the sequence to steal the Roman life skill.”

  Was this guy even speaking English? Serena sat and listened as he babbled, trying to keep her mind from wondering. Wondering how to look interested. Wondering if the next guy would be this bad. Wondering how long it would take to get another margarita.

  He paused to take a breath. “You know, I hear video games really help older people keep their minds active.” He looked at her expectantly.

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Meaning?”

  “That you should go ahead and give it a try. Why wait ’til the last minute?”

  The last minute? That’s it. Serena pointed to the back of the bar toward the restrooms. “Would you excuse me for a little bit?” She moved her purse to the opposite side of the chair hopefully signaling the cavalry.

  “Okay. I’ll wait here.”

  “Yes, Michael.” She tried not to sound sarcastic but the margaritas were g
etting to her. “You wait here and drink your milk.” Granny’s got to pee.

  Chapter 5

  Tyler paced around his condo trying to figure out why he had the jitters. He’d seen four women this week. All ranked somewhere around average. Which was nowhere near bad enough. Not a chipped tooth among the lot. Oh, they had their issues all right. From chronic unemployment to five kids in tow. He’d sure seen some fearful baggage this week.

  But nothing that would scare off Chelsie, and when he’d presented his plan to one of the women, she’d smacked him right in the mouth while ranting on and on about how he dragged her out on a date under false pretenses. Fat chance. Of course, telling her he wouldn’t touch her with a 10-foot pole probably didn’t convey the warm fuzzies his date had envisioned.

  So why the nerves for this one? He still hadn’t figured out why her voice sounded so different. The message Serena left on his phone had a deep sultry quality, but when he’d called back, she’d sounded completely different and completely distracted. He grinned to himself. Condom Street. There had to be a story behind that one. If nothing else he could use a good laugh.

  Tyler glanced at the clock. Only 6:00 pm. No sense in hanging around here. Might as well show up early, have a beer or two, and relax a little. He jammed his favorite straw cowboy hat on his head and tried to open the door. Shadow jumped on it, then on him, wanting to go. Tyler scratched her ears. He hadn’t been home but a few minutes at a time all week with his biker chick shopping.

  Poor dog needed some attention. As Shadow settled down, he moved around her, then quickly slipped out. He heard her yelps from the hall.

  “At least my poor Reggie won’t be listening to that noise much longer.” Mrs. Lathem stood in the doorway to her condo. Rat Dog quivered at her ankle. The thing shook like a naked cat on crack. He couldn’t tell if the dog was nervous or scared, but he could understand it. Mrs. Lathem had that effect on a lot of people, too.

  “Are you and,” Tyler pointed to the dog, “it moving somewhere?”

  She yanked the dog off the floor as if he’d attacked the thing. “It’s okay, baby, the mean man will be gone soon.”

  “Gone?”

  She glared. “I’ve discovered that condo was subleased to Dick Rawlin’s niece, not to you.”

  “So? I pay the bills.”

  “You’re a squatter, Mr. Cooper.” She pointed a finger at him. “And you’ll be gone within the month if I have anything to say about it.” She stepped back and slammed the door.

  Tyler wasn’t scared. Last he heard, Dick Rawlins was in Mexico somewhere, and the reason he’d subleased it in the first place was to have some income and get someone to take care of it. Krista never paid anything on time or in full, but Tyler had. Mrs. Lathem would have a heck of a time convincing Dick to kick him out. He shrugged off the threat as he steered his Jeep to Camden Street.

  Arriving at Chuck’s a few minutes later, it looked like the happy hour crowd was breaking up. He had no trouble finding an empty seat at the bar and ordered a beer.

  “So how do you want me to get rid of the next one?” A man a couple of seats over asked.

  “Does it matter? It’s not like you didn’t get caught with your pants down a minute ago.” The sultry voice tapped Tyler’s memory. The same one on his phone. He tried to look around the guy between them, but couldn’t see her face. All he could see was legs on one side of the bar stool, long curly hair on the other. Odds were good that she was pretty, and in his book that spelled disaster. He concentrated on his beer, knowing he would leave as soon as it was gone. No use wasting his time. She obviously had some kind of sick mind game going on with her junior bodyguard anyway.

  A woman sat next to Tyler, looked at him, and he nodded an acknowledgement but didn’t speak, anxious to leave. He only caught bits and pieces of the conversation during the next few minutes. Not that he cared anymore. The woman laid her notepad on the bar next to his elbow and turned back to her friends. He glanced down at the notes. There were several names on the page. The name Bill had a line drawn through it. The next on the list was Michael, then Tyler. Tyler?

  He glanced at the woman out of the corner of his eye. Red hair, black business suit, green eyes. That’s the description Serena had given him. He frowned. Well if this was Serena then who was Miss Legs at the end of the bar? What in the hell kind of game were these people playing?

  Serena jumped off her barstool and tugged on the sleeve of the biggest geek Tyler’d ever seen. He knew he should leave while he had the chance, but curiosity kept him glued to his seat.

  “So what do you think about this one, Will?” Miss Legs asked as soon as Serena was out of earshot. Tyler could see her clearly now in the mirror at the back of the bar, and his first instinct proved right. Pretty, but not as pretty as she obviously thought she was. Just the type to expect men to worship her and her little turnedup nose.

  “Not a snowball’s chance.” Will grinned.

  Serena led her date to a table and they sat. She wasn’t bad. Petite and curvy, more on the cute side than anything, though she’d hidden it well in that business suit. Or tried to.

  The waitress returned to the table with drinks a few minutes later, and Miss Legs laughed. “Did she just bring him milk?”

  Tyler squinted at the glasses on the table. Sure enough it looked like milk to him. The geek started talking, and Tyler would swear his mouth moved a mile a minute.

  He’d had one of those dates himself this week. At the time he’d wondered if the girl would ever stop talking long enough to take a breath.

  Miss Legs leaned back resting her elbows on the bar. “You buying any of this, Will?”

  “Nope. Can’t quite figure out what she’s up to though.”

  “Me neither. She gave in way too easy on this idea.”

  They all watched for another few minutes, then Serena got up and started toward the back of the bar.

  Will put his beer down. “There’s the signal. This loser’s history.”

  He strutted over to the geek and poked him in the chest. The guy shook his head no and stood up. He towered over Will by a good foot, but acted scared. Will poked his chest again and the guy backed up a step then turned and hurried past them out the door. Tyler looked at Will amazed. Bald and no more than five and a half feet tall, he had all the attitude of a bouncer. And the geek just got bounced.

  Will strutted back to the bar as Serena reappeared. She climbed back on the stool next to Tyler. He stared at the liquor bottles behind the bar, pretending not to listen.

  “That was horrific. The guy is underage and into video games.” Serena squirmed and tried to straighten her skirt. “How did you get him to leave?”

  Will puffed out his chest. “I told him you were my wife.”

  Serena elbowed him hard in the ribs.

  “What did you want me to say?”

  “Not that! I don’t want people to think we’re fuck buddies or something. Eew!”

  Tyler choked on his beer and tried not to laugh. She sure had a mouth on her. This was turning out to be the best entertainment he’d had all week.

  “Whoa there, Red,” Will laughed. “I think them margaritas are going to your head.”

  “No, they aren’t,” Serena said. “Not yet anyway.”

  “When’s Act Three supposed to show?” Miss Legs motioned to the bartender for some more pretzels, but the man ignored her. She banged the bowl on the bar, forcing his attention to her.

  “Nolea!” Serena snatched the bowl out of her hand, then consulted her notepad. She crossed off the second name. “Not until 7:30. His name’s Tyler. Tyler Cooper. No clue what he does.”

  “Gee, don’t sound so excited.” Nolea leaned back and looked at her. “Somebody might think you weren’t really into this.”

  “Oh, it’s not that. I just hate having to wait.”

  Too quick on the denial, hon. Tyler saw a knowing look pass between Nolea and Will.

  “I’m hungry.” Will rubbed his stomach. “Is the com
pany buying dinner?”

  “No.” Serena stuffed her notepad back in her purse.

  “I think I’m gonna walk down to the bar on the corner. They give away free hot dogs on weeknights. Y’all want anything?”

  Nolea shook her head, “You are such a cheap bastard.”

  Serena nodded. “You’d think free was his favorite fourletter ‘F’ word.”

  “Second favorite.” Will departed, leaving the ladies to themselves.

  “What are you up to?” Nolea glanced at Serena.

  “Up to?”

  “You know we’re not buying this little charade, don’t you?”

  “What charade?” Serena stuffed a pretzel in her mouth.

  “You know exactly what I mean. And don’t give me that innocent look. I can tell your heart’s not in this.” Nolea waited for a response, but Serena remained silent. Finally Miss Legs spun around and hopped off the barstool. “I’m going to the sandbox; save my spot.”

  Serena nodded and watched until her friend disappeared. She propped her elbow on the bar and leaned her forehead on her open palm. “Oh shit,” she groaned, “This is such a nightmare.”

  Tyler cleared his throat, “You never know, the next one might be better.”

  Her head snapped up. “Excuse me?”

  He turned to her and smiled. “I said, the next one might be better.”

  She smiled back. “He couldn’t be much worse.”

  “So is this some kind of new speed dating?”

  “Not exactly. It’s ummm, well,” she groaned again, “complicated.”

  “Maybe you’ll get lucky, and the next guy will cancel.”

  “I wish. Nolea and Will would never buy it though.”

  “Sure they would, if you made it look good.” He wiggled his cell phone between his fingers. “Be easy to arrange a phone call at the right moment.”

  Serena looked at him as if he’d tossed her a life preserver. “Would you really do that?”

  He grinned. “What’s your number?”

  Nolea sat down as Tyler stuffed the napkin with Serena’s cell number in his shirt pocket. “I wish I’d had Will get me a hot dog,” she said.