Emerge: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance

by Lena Mae Hill

  “You’ll get to see me cheer, too,” Peyton said, shooting me an oddly shy smile.

  Finn had gone to church, and Xander was off with his friends again, so at least I was spared his cutting remarks.

  After dinner Peyton dragged me up to her room, where she insisted I take some of her clothes to wear the next day. She was curvier than me, but not enough to make a huge difference when it came to stretchy yoga pants and baggy sweaters. I stood in front of the mirror, staring at myself.

  “I don’t look like me anymore,” I said.

  “You look amazing,” Peyton assured me, arranging my giant bundle of hair over a scarf she’d draped around me.

  “I look like…you.”

  “Like I said, amazing,” Peyton said. “Now I have a serious question.”

  Our eyes met in the mirror, and my stomach fluttered. “What’s that?” I whispered.

  “Have you ever had a haircut in your life?”

  I relaxed as she maneuvered me into a chair before the mirror and began to unfasten my hair. I’d expected a different question.

  Pulling out my hair ties, she arranged my hair over my shoulders and down my back. “Your hair is awesome,” she said, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror. “You should wear it down sometime.” Her fingers combed through my hair, quickly at first, then more slowly.

  Tingles began to run from the crown of my head through my entire body with each stroke. What was happening to me? Was it just because we shared a god? Or was that like shared blood, and it made my attraction to her even creepier? I wanted to pull away, to run out of the room and escape this confusion, but it felt so good, too good, to have her fingers in my hair. We stayed that way for a minute, two, three. As her fingers slid through my hair from roots to tips, I closed my eyes, sighing with pleasure.

  Suddenly, Peyton gave a nervous laugh and turned away, grabbing a big brush with her school picture decoupaged onto the back. She pulled out her own high ponytail and began brushing her baby-pink hair in quick, even strokes, her eyes locked on her own reflection.

  “I’ll just…thanks for letting me borrow these,” I said, scooting out of her chair and grabbing up the extra shirts she’d given me. I hurried from the room, not sure what had just happened or what to think of it.

  That was the question I’d expected her to ask—something about us. If I’d ever been attracted to a girl before, if I was attracted to her. I didn’t know how to answer the first question. I hadn’t been attracted to another girl, but I’d never really known another girl, so how did I know if I liked them?

  I crept into my own room, where I’d elected to stay with Mom. She and Neil seemed to be making no pretense of wanting to be married in the traditional sense, and I felt better knowing exactly where she was. Maybe she felt the same about me. It was a hard habit to break.

  The next day when I walked into school, I tried not to be self-conscious about what I was wearing. After all, no one had ever seen me in the clothes Peyton had given me. It didn’t matter if they didn’t look like me. I had no image at this school yet—I could be anyone. I didn’t particularly want to be pegged as the girl with outdated, garage-sale style.

  A voice raked over my skin like a strand of barbed wire. “Have you ever seen something so pathetic?”

  I gave my outfit a quick glance—tan Ugg boots, black leggings, a baggy cream-colored sweater, and a navy scarf. Maybe the tan and cream were too close together in color? I looked up from my locker with dread, already knowing who had stopped by to gawk at me. But again, not knowing why.

  “Oh my god, is she actually wearing Peyton’s clothes?” Jen asked.

  “That is so sad,” their other friend gushed. She burst into shrill giggles, which drew the attention of a couple other people in the hall.

  “Here I thought she was trying to get in Xander’s pants,” Jen said.

  “I thought it was Eliot,” Barb said.

  “But it turns out it’s Peyton,” their friend shrieked. “Literally!”

  They all started honking with laughter. I decided I really didn’t need my books that bad after all, and I turned and fled. If anything, I was less brave now than the first time they’d made fun of me. I couldn’t even find my inner Scarlet O’Hara. No doubt she’d abandoned me in disgust.

  But then I remembered. I didn’t need Scarlet. I had a freaking god renting space inside me. Suddenly, I felt silly for running. And just like that, I stopped caring what they thought. For the rest of the day, I was bulletproof. It didn’t matter if I didn’t understand why Heimdall had chosen me, or if I was worthy or not. The fact was, he had chosen me. Only I could make myself worthy.

  But until we went to Boston to look for the giant, I had to keep pretending to be normal. I’d dreamed of it so many times, but in reality, I’d never be normal. Pretending was as close as I could get. So I went to my classes, and after school, I went to the office to get the address of the library, where I was supposed to go for tutoring two evenings a week for the rest of the year. Between that and the help I was going to get from Eliot, I figured I’d be on a seventh grade level in math by the end of the year. But hey, at least I was on track in my lit classes.

  Zeke and Peyton had practice after school, and Eliot was taking Finn to church. “Don’t make me ride with Xander,” I pleaded when Eliot broke the news to me.

  He shook his head. “I know you guys got off on the wrong foot, but you and him are going to have to work things out. We’re all part of each other, Gwen. He’s a smart guy. He knows this doesn’t work without all of us.”

  “What if he’s the demon?” I asked. “The giant that’s trying to get us?”

  “He’s not a demon,” Eliot said, turning me to face him.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because he’s my brother.” Eliot searched my eyes. “Even though he already knew we weren’t related by blood, he never treated us as less than brothers or less than him. He may be a big man on campus, but he’s no giant. He would never hurt any of us.”

  I swallowed hard, resisting the urge to beg him to stay, to beg for him to protect me. “And me?” I whispered.

  “And you…” Eliot’s hands softened on my shoulders, and he ran them down my upper arms to my elbows, pulling me in. My head swam, my heart suddenly fluttering in my throat. My eyes dropped to his lips, and I swallowed again. He was going to kiss me. I could feel it. I knew I should stop it as surely as I knew that I wouldn’t.

  He licked his lips nervously. “Just work things out with him, okay? He may be a bit jaded about life, but he’s not going to bring about the end of the world.”

  The spell holding me broke, and I realized where we were. That to the school, I was Eliot’s sister. If it wasn’t enough that we were related by law, now we were parts of the same god. Like with Peyton the night before, it gave me a weird incesty feeling to think about it like that. I used that squeamishness to drag myself out of my stupor of desire.

  The hall was emptying out after school, and as much as I loved Eliot’s hands on me, I didn’t think we should be touching in a two-mile radius of Barb, anyway, wherever she was. If the monster wasn’t Xander, it had to be Barb or one of her minions. I figured I should break that news to Eliot before they reconciled, but I didn’t know how that would come across.

  Hey, so, no offense but your ex is probably the demon who killed all our parents.

  Just a tad crazy and jealous, perhaps?

  “You’ll be fine,” Eliot promised, his gaze firm as it met mine. “I promise. If Xander was out to get you, he wouldn’t have pulled you out of the ocean that day.”

  “That was Zeke,” I reminded him.

  “No,” Eliot said slowly. “Xander did. He didn’t tell you that?”

  I shook my head. Of course not. Xander never told me anything about himself, even the nice things, apparently. The thought of him saving me was unsettling. Between that and defending me from Barb, it was almost like he cared.

  “You’re going to miss tutoring,” Eliot
said. “I already told him you needed a ride, so he’s waiting for you.”

  “I still don’t like needing anything from him,” I said, slumping against Eliot.

  Eliot pulled me in and gave me a quick hug. “Don’t let him intimidate you. His bark is worse than his bite.”

  I didn’t know about that. His bark could be pretty biting. But I trudged off toward the parking lot to get a ride from him—if he hadn’t already taken off and left me to walk home by myself. When I got there, most of the lot was already empty, but I spotted Xander and his bike on the far side of the lot, where he always parked.

  He was seated on his bike, leaned way back, in a position that made it impossible for my eyes not to drop straight to his crotch. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with that thought because he was being fawned over by a tall, slender girl with a sleek, dark bob.

  Shit. Jen.

  She was standing so close she was brushing against his thigh, pushing his shoulder in a playful, sexy way. He barely moved, his body relaxed, a lazy smile on his face.

  In a glance, I read the scene like it was written in one of my garage sale paperbacks. She wanted him, and he sure as hell knew it. He was definitely enjoying it, but he was also waiting for me. He didn’t intend for anything to come of it. He looked flattered but not terribly interested. She was obviously trying to change that, maybe asking if he’d take her for a spin or inviting him to a party. He was probably giving her some asshole answer like, “Maybe.” Then he’d leave her hanging.

  I wasn’t sure if I should interrupt or wait until she left. Cautiously, I started across the parking lot, my bag on my shoulder. Halfway across, Xander’s penetrating gaze locked on mine, and my stomach lurched. Of all the guys, he was the only one who could make me feel small, and naked, and vulnerable with just one look.

  As if to prove me wrong about my earlier assumptions, to prove that I knew nothing about human beings and couldn’t read people for shit, Xander snaked his arm around Jen’s waist and pulled her close, looking up at her from his seated position. She smiled down at him, her fingers brushing his cheek.

  My stomach twisted again and I slowed. It was one thing to interrupt a conversation, another to interrupt an embrace. Some ugly, bitchy part of me really didn’t like that she was all over my stepbrother, but I didn’t want to bring his wrath down upon myself if I didn’t have to. So I hung back, letting the scene before me unfold.

  Xander said something to Jen, and she pulled away just enough to step over the bike and straddle it, facing Xander. While she was climbing on, his eyes locked on mine, a challenge burning there. His mouth twisted into a smirk when he saw whatever was written across my face. I’d never learned to hide my emotions, and I’m sure the storm of jealousy inside me was reflected outside for all the world to see.

  When Jen was standing straddling the bike, Xander grabbed her hips. Eyes on mine, he let his tongue barely skim his top lip as he eased her forward and down onto his waiting lap. I had to swallow hard, forcing my eyes to stay on his, not to drop to where they were joined. She wrapped her legs around him and threw her head back, but Xander didn’t seem to notice. He was still watching me, daring me.

  I couldn’t move. My heart was a jackrabbit in my chest, racing, racing. Screaming at my body to turn and run, to flee. My mind was stubborn as a bull, though, refusing to budge.

  I would die if I saw what came next. I just knew it. But I had accepted his challenge, and if he’d kill me to prove his point, then that’s the way this was going to be. He’d know then that whatever he did, I’d survive it. I wasn’t going anywhere, no matter how much he hurt me.

  When I didn’t drop his gaze, Xander slid his arms around Jen and grabbed her ass with both hands, squeezing her butt and grinding her against his crotch.

  She slid her arms around his neck, and they started making out furiously, with no further warning. My throat constricted, and my knees buckled. I grabbed onto the car I was standing beside, forcing myself not to look away. My whole body felt numb with shock, like when I witnessed a fight.

  I’d never seen two people kissing like that. It was different in real life, when I was standing right there, than when I’d seen it in movies. I could see how deep their kiss was, both of their mouths open, their heads tilted sideways to lock their jaws together. There was something predatory about it, like watching a snake devour its prey.

  I stood there, about ten paces from the bike, just waiting. I’d spent my whole life waiting. A few more minutes wouldn’t kill me, despite the feeling in my chest that said otherwise. I wouldn’t let Xander scare me off with a little parking lot grope session. I was part of a freaking golden god, and what was Jen? At most, an evil giantess.

  So I crossed my arms and leaned against the car, studying my nails and trying to look bored as they did their thing. After a minute, Xander pulled away and smiled at me. His lips were wet and shiny. I wanted to find him repulsive, with her spit all over his face, but he still looked like a god.

  “Waiting in line for your turn?” he asked with a sneer.

  Jen twisted around and saw me at last. She was pretty, her striking features highlighted by her cropped hair, which had a wide stripe of purple on each side, framing her narrow face. Her jeans hugged her long legs like they were made for her, not handed down from a sister with a different sense of style. Though it was chilly, she was wearing a tank top that showed off a tattoo on one shoulder.

  Suddenly, I felt smaller and more stupid than Xander alone could make me feel. Usually, I could hold my own against him. But today, he’d employed a weapon.

  “It’ll be a while,” she said, arching one perfectly-plucked brow.

  After seeing her shove her tongue down Xander’s throat, I thought I might throw up all over her if I opened my mouth to speak.

  “Get lost, why don’t you?” she said when I didn’t speak.

  Say something…Don’t just stand there staring like a pervert.

  “I am lost,” I said, grabbing the sticky note the office had given me and holding it up with both hands like a shield. “I don’t know how to get to the library.”

  Xander snorted back a laugh. I hardened myself for his response, which would no doubt be cutting and unlike mine, actually make sense.

  “Is she serious?” Jen asked Xander. Then she twisted around toward me again. “Ask someone else, loser. Xander’s taking me home today. I won’t be done with him for a long time. What I have planned might take all…night…long.” She ran her claws slowly down his chest, smiling up at him as she said the last few words.

  “Don’t count on it,” Xander said, grabbing her waist and heaving her off the bike.

  She stumbled, hopping to catch her balance. “What the fuck?” she yelled, color rising to her cheeks. “You’re going to kiss me like that, and the minute this bitch comes along, you’re ditching me?”

  Xander’s lids dropped, and he raised his chin, his eyes hard. “Watch who you’re calling a bitch,” he said, then added, “bitch.”

  He dragged himself along the seat slowly, and again, my eyes couldn’t leave his hips. There was something about seeing him straddling that machine, his jeans creased at his hips, his black motorcycle boots skimming the pavement, the angle of his hips, his black leather jacket, his hips, his hips…God, I could not stop staring.

  “Get on, little girl,” he said, sliding on a pair of shades and jerking his chin at me.

  I was about to turn to jelly, seeing him astride that thing, but his voice was hard as flint. It steeled me a bit, and I collected myself enough to obey, though I was hyperaware of my body as I walked past Jen. I was sure she was going to jump on me the second my back was turned. My hands felt strangely detached from the rest of me, floating uselessly at my sides until I reached the bike. After handing Xander the note with the address, I clambered onto the bike and slid forward, clamping my knees around his hips.

  “Have fun fucking your bitch sister,” Jen said, turning away as Xander twisted the throttle. The bike lea
pt forward, and I clung to Xander’s hips. I could feel every breath I took, the coldness of his leather jacket under my palms, the warmth of the seat, the wind against my cheeks and in my hair. He was shaking, but it was different from the last time, when I’d felt him laughing.

  This time, neither of us laughed. I didn’t know what was wrong with him. I’d been so smug about reading his interaction with Jen, only to find out I had it all wrong…and then, it seemed, to find out I’d had it right all along. My head was whirling with confusion. I didn’t want to think that had all been a show for my benefit—I wasn’t that arrogant, to think he’d do anything for me. But it was hard to find another meaning behind what had just happened.

  Unlike the last time we rode, I knew enough to lean into the turns with Xander, to match his body with my own. I waited for each one, determined not to mess up. But I didn’t want to press up tight against him like I had the last time. Even having him between my legs felt different now, more meaningful than it had the first time.

  Xander didn’t pull my arms around him, and for that, I was relieved. I didn’t want my hands pressing into the warmth of his body, feeling his abs through his shirt, his belt buckle above his zipper. I had looked at it. I was like some high school version of Pandora. I’d opened the box, I’d peaked. I’d looked at the bulge in his jeans, and now I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was he aroused inside his jeans? Would I be able to tell? And if he was, had Jen done it, or had I?

  Even holding onto his hips took on another meaning. I could feel them shifting with the movement of the bike, could feel the rhythm of them rocking each time we hit a bump. Part of me wanted to pull away, but another part wanted to keep going, for the ride to last forever. It was like when I’d seen Joaquin, and I knew I should leave, but I hadn’t.

  By the time Xander pulled over on the side of a tiny street, I felt sort of dirty and cheap for having held onto him and having those thoughts after seeing him make out with another girl. He skidded to a stop and jumped off the bike, spinning to face me. His hair was a windswept mess, his features twisted with rage. “Why’d you make me do that?” he yelled, yanking his sunglasses off and hurling them to the cracked pavement.