by K. M. Scott
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring all this up.”
I pushed the hair out of her eyes and looked down at her. “You needed to know the kind of man you’re with. I’m not sorry I killed him, just like I wouldn’t be sorry if I killed your ex-boyfriend for hurting you. I’ve got this rage inside me that takes over.”
Abbi stayed silent as the truth of who I was settled into her mind and then said, “I’ve never had anyone defend me. Maybe I should think it’s wrong for you to want to kill someone who hurt me, but I don’t. Every man I’ve ever been with hurt me, and never once did anyone step up to help me.”
I leaned forward to kiss the spot near her eye where he’d hit her right before I met her. “I will never let anyone hurt you again. I promise you that.”
Snuggling up against me, she said quietly, “You have this club, your car, and so much, and I have nothing. Why would you want someone like me?”
“I didn’t know why or how, but I knew from the moment I saw you that night in Cash’s office that I’d never live another day without you in my mind or in my arms. I didn’t think I deserved someone so gentle and kind, so I did everything I could to keep you away all the while unable to think of anything but you, but it was no use. I couldn’t go on like that. Then when Gemma told me you were at The Carousel Club, something inside me snapped. I had to take you away from there.”
“Do you still love that girl?”
I thought about that for a minute. “In some ways, I’ll always love her. She was the first person to show me love. But I’m not in love with a ghost.”
“I don’t know what to think of all this, Kane. I’m sure you’ve noticed I don’t seem to do slow and easy when it comes to relationships. I just broke up with Aaron, and here I am naked in your arms. You told me about you, so I want to make sure you know who I am.”
“I know everything I need to know, Abbi. You’re beautiful and sweet and gentle. You make me feel something I was sure I’d never feel again. I don’t need to know anything more.”
She sat up and shook her head. “No, I want you to. You believed in me to tell me about who you are, so I want to tell you who I am.”
“Okay, but it doesn’t matter what you tell me. To me, you’re my Abbi.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she began to speak. “I had the perfect family. My mother and father loved me, and I was their only child. And then one day it was all gone. My father died when I was ten, and my mother was devastated. She was so lonely. All she wanted was what she’d had with my father, so she looked for someone to fill that emptiness from my father’s death, but no one was ever enough. Her boyfriends came and went, each one spending just enough time in my life for me to get attached before they left or she left them. All she wanted to find was what she’d had with my father, but she never could.”
I watched a tear slide down Abbi’s cheek and wiped it with my knuckle. She flinched and opened her eyes. Just seeing her this sad tore at my heart. “I promise you’ll never be alone again, angel.”
“Everyone’s said that, Kane. And then everyone left. When I started dating boys, I went for all the wrong kind—the bad boy—and every one of them was bad. I’ve been beaten unconscious, and I’ve done some things other people might not think are right because I couldn’t see any other way. You called me angel, but I’m no angel.”
I pulled her down on top of me and whispered against her lips, “You’re my angel.”
“Then I’m a fallen angel, Kane. I may not have killed anyone, but I’ve done things that were almost as bad.”
“Then we belong together. Two people who’ve done terrible things and had terrible things done to them finally deserve happiness, don’t you think?”
“I want to believe that. I do. I’ve just never seen that before.”
“I’ll have to make you happy then.”
“I need to know something. Will you promise to tell the truth?”
“Yes. Always.”
“Why didn’t you watch me dance tonight? It meant so much to me that you would watch me, and then you said you didn’t even see much.”
Smoothing the hair from her face, I looked into her eyes and told her the truth I knew might frighten her away. “I did watch you dance tonight. I stood in front of those monitors and watched every second of it, even though my gut hurt just seeing you dance for other men. I wanted to rush into each room and beat the fuck out of every one of them for watching you. I wanted to tear Rhett in half each time he touched you. I know it’s wrong, and I know I have to fight what I feel, but I wanted to hurt them.”
“They weren’t hurting me. I like dancing. It makes me feel beautiful.”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t do anything. I just stood there and watched the most beautiful woman in the world dance for strangers.”
She closed her eyes and frowned. “I can’t bear to think what I’m doing makes you so unhappy. That’s not what I want. I won’t dance anymore. I can go back to bartending downstairs, if you’ll let me stay here a little longer.”
“Abbi, open your eyes and look at me.” She did as I ordered and I continued. “No. You want to dance, so that’s what I want. And I don’t want you going anywhere else. I want you to stay right here with me.”
“But I can’t stand the thought of you standing there so angry as I do something that makes me so happy.”
Her willingness to give up what she loved made me want her even more. I slid my hands down over her back and cupped her ass to pull her up against my cock. “You’re going to dance and you’re going to stay here with me, and that’s final.”
Abbi bit her lower lip as my cock touched her clit. “Oh, okay. Is there anything else you’ve decided?”
“Just one more thing.”
I slowly pushed inside her and groaned, “God, you feel so good around me. This is why I get jealous. I know those men want to be inside you too.”
Rolling her hips, she took me as deep as I could go. “I don’t want them. I only want you. All you need to do is remember that. I only want you, Kane.”
The demons inside me who wanted me to possess her slowly began to uncoil, like a snake, and I slid out of her and turned her on her stomach, needing to claim her. In her ear, I groaned, “I want every man who sees you to know you’re mine.”
She turned her head and whispered softly, “Yes.”
Pulling her up to her hands and knees, I felt her body open up for me and I slammed into her until my cock had reached its hilt. “I want every man who sees you to know your body craves only me.”
Abbi arched her back as I reared back to thrust into her again. “Yes,” she moaned, her answer punctuated with a tiny whimper.
I leaned forward and pressed my palm to the front of her throat. “I want every man who sees you to know only my cock belongs inside you.”
“Yes,” she said, her voice pleading for me to fill her up again.
Barely able to control myself, I pushed my hips forward and buried myself balls deep in her wet cunt. “Feel that? Feel when those metal studs on my cock touch you? I want every man to know when they look at you that deep inside, you bear my mark on your skin. That every time my cock slides into your pussy, that mark is made fresh again.”
She strained against my hold on her throat and groaned, “Yes. Please, yes.”
The monster inside me took over, and I pounded into her body like a wild animal, fucking her from behind until her legs were barely able to hold her. She came once, twice, her body shaking from her orgasms, but my release lay waiting inside me still.
The beast hadn’t gotten enough yet.
She never wavered, even though I knew her body must have been exhausted. Every time I pushed my cock into her, she pushed back against me, wanting me to fill her up as much as I wanted her. Her cunt clung to me, and each time I pulled out of her, she moaned a tiny noise that made me need to be back inside her again.
As I fucked her, my mind replayed every moment of her dancing an
d those who watched her. I became obsessed with her knowing she belonged to me and me alone. That she wasn’t theirs to have or love. They could watch her, but only I could feel her as she surrendered to my hands and my cock.
I needed her. I adored her. I hated the men who watched her excite them. The thought of the man jerking off while she danced, defiling the sweetness of her, drove me wild, and I squeezed my hand around her throat. “I want every man who sees you dance to know you don’t dance for them. You dance for me.”
She arched her back and in a pleading voice said, “You. Only you.”
Sliding my free hand around her body, I pulled her upright, my other hand still circling her neck. My teeth sunk into her earlobe, biting down until she cried out my name, and I slid my finger over her swollen clit, teasing it as my cock continued to fill her.
“Tell me you aren’t afraid of me. Tell me you know I would never hurt you, angel.”
Her answer came out in tiny pants. “I know you’d never hurt me. You take care of me.”
My fingers parted her folds as they pressed toward her opening, and I felt my cock filling her. “Does this hurt?”
Her hand covered mine. Stretching her finger to reach, she stroked the underside of my cock, sending jolts of desire through me and I eased out of her only to thrust hard back into her. “It feels like you’re ripping me apart, but I’ve never felt so good in my life.”
The thought of hurting her tore at my heart. Suddenly, the demons inside me weren’t in control anymore. Gently, I bent her over and eased out of her body to take her pain away. “I’m sorry, angel,” I said softly near her ear. “I didn’t meant to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m a fucking monster. Leave me before I do something that I can’t apologize for.”
Abbi leaned back against my chest and hung her head. “You didn’t hurt me. How can you say you’re a monster?”
“I am and now you’ve seen the real me.”
She turned to face me and shook her head. “That’s not the real you. The man who rescued me from that horrible club is the real you. The man who gave me his bed and got me clothes to wear is the real you. Kane, I don’t know what kind of monster you think you are, but with me, you aren’t that.”
“I can’t control what I feel about you, Abbi. I’ve tried from the moment I met you, and every day my need for you gets worse. I’m afraid what I’m going to do if the demons inside me have their way. Every time I think of someone hurting you I want to kill them. It’s an overwhelming urge I have to fight constantly. If they can’t get their way, the demons will make me do something that hurts you.”
“I can’t believe you’d hurt me. No. The way you are with me when we’re together like this doesn’t hurt me. I want to feel your desire for me. Don’t hold back. Show me how I make you feel.”
I pulled her onto my lap and slowly slid inside her until our bodies joined completely. “I only feel whole when I’m inside you and your body is giving in to me. What if that won’t be enough someday? I worry my demons will turn on you.”
Abbi kissed me, her tongue sliding over mine and sending waves of need straight to my cock. I lifted her off me until only the head of my cock teased her and slowly lowered her again, loving the sensation of her body gripping me like a glove.
“I’ve known bad men. You aren’t them. Whatever this demon or beast is inside you makes you afraid you’ll hurt me. Don’t listen to it.”
She rode me slowly, almost torturing me with the need to come, her body tenderly inching me closer until finally I exploded into her, filling her with my release. With her arms wrapped around my neck, she pressed against me and whispered, “I was beginning to doubt you wanted me you took so long.”
Cradling her face, I looked into her eyes and saw she’d told the truth. “Never doubt that. I want you so bad it hurts. It’s like an ache inside that only wanes when you touch me. I’ve felt it since that first night when you danced for me.”
“I only dance for you, Kane. When the music comes on, I close my eyes and think about you watching me. I think about your touch making my body come alive. I think about the feel of your piercings as they slide up inside me, sending strings of sensation through my body that make me never want to be with another man again.”
“No one has ever liked that the way you do.”
Abbi bit her lower lip and moaned, “Good. I want to be the only woman who feels you that way.”
* * *
KANE CARRIED me into the bathroom to wash me, as if cleaning me would get rid of any memory of whatever fears he had about hurting me. I’d never felt so wanted as when he was inside me, his hands caressing my body and his words telling me how much he cared. I couldn’t let him think he’d done anything wrong. He deserved to be as happy as he made me.
Taking the soap from him, I ran my hands over his skin, loving the muscular ridges and valleys of his body. There, standing under the water, he looked down and watched me wash him like my very touch was something sacred to him.
I gripped the base of his thick cock, still semi-hard from our lovemaking, and slowly moved my hand up to the head where those four metal studs sat. Caressing the velvety skin, I cleaned each piercing and slid my hand back down his shaft, loving the look of ecstasy that came over his face. Backing him up into the stream of water coming from the showerhead, I let it rinse him clean and pulled him back toward me.
His eyes rolled back into his head and he groaned, “Don’t stop. God, don’t stop.”
I loved seeing him like this. I wanted to make him happy, so I lowered myself to the floor of the porcelain tub and knelt in front of him. He stared down at me with pure need in his eyes, and I wanted to fulfill that need.
Tracing the ridge of his hip, I touched my fingertip to a vein running next to it and followed my mouth along that path. I loved the feel of it against my tongue, raised from the skin like some beautiful roadmap to his cock.
“Angel, wrap your lips around me.”
He gripped his cock to direct it to my mouth, but I wanted to tease him a little more. Flicking my tongue over the base, I slid up to the swollen crown and sucked gently, tasting the pre-cum that seeped from it.
I felt his hands in my hair and looked up to see a wild look in his eyes that told me his control was slipping away. His demons wanted more than just my teasing. I braced myself for the sweet pain that came from him pulling my hair as I went down on him, anticipating the first rough tug of his hands to guide me down on his cock.
But it didn’t happen. Instead, he eased his fingers from my head and quietly said, “No more playing. Suck my cock, angel. I can’t control myself for long.”
I knew by the soft look in his eyes that for the moment he had reign over his demons, so I wrapped my lips around him and slid my mouth down his shaft until the short hairs at the base tickled my nose and his piercings touched the back of my throat. My knees ached and my jaw hurt, but none of that mattered when I stared up at him and saw pure pleasure on his face.
His clean and masculine taste danced over my tongue as I slid him out of my mouth, leaving only the pierced head against my lips. I cupped his balls and gently squeezed at the same time I sucked him back into my mouth, and from above me I heard a groan of pleasure echo against the tile walls.
I bobbed my head up and down, all the time watching how my actions thrilled him. But soon I saw that same wild look in his eyes, and they narrowed to make his expression almost angry. His demons were gaining control.
“Angel, if you don’t get me off soon, I’m going to bury my hands in your hair and fuck your mouth hard and raw. I’m barely holding on here, baby.”
“Maybe I like it that way,” I said with a smile before flicking the tip of my tongue up his shaft. “I’m not afraid of your demons, Kane.”
I saw the change in his eyes as they grew dark, and then he buried his hands in my hair and yanked it tight in his fists. “You should be. Please, angel. I need to come.”
He guided me down onto his cock until every inch had di
sappeared into my mouth. I didn’t know what he’d be like hard and raw, but I secretly loved the power that emanated from him when he was like this. I wanted to test those demons and show them they could do their worst but I wouldn’t be scared off.
Kane pulled back out of my mouth and I stared up into his beautiful eyes looking down at me and pleading for me to save him from what they were pushing him to do. He pressed his hips forward with a low groan and said, “Jesus, Abbi. Don’t do this. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He fucked my mouth, not hard and raw but like a man who had a woman who loved pleasing him. As I went down on him, he caressed my cheek and moaned my name like a prayer. He possessed all the control, but I didn’t want it any other way. To see him tower over me thrusting his hips forward to fill my mouth made my pussy ache with need. When he came, I swallowed every ounce that flooded down my throat, loving the look on his face as I sucked him dry.
Kane pulled me to my feet and kissed my lips still wet from him. “You make my fucking legs go weak, angel. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
I hugged him to me and pressed my cheek to his chest to hear his heart hammering away. “You didn’t hurt me. I loved seeing you like that.”
The truth was I didn’t fear the beast inside him like he did. I loved that part of him as much as I loved the man who gently stroked my back now as we stood together with the water pouring down over our heads washing away all the doubts that lingered between us.
Still groggy from sleep, I stretched my legs and felt Kane’s muscular thigh push between them. Opening my eyes, I looked up into his face and saw him still asleep, his beautiful lips parted ever so slightly showing his straight white teeth.
I couldn’t help but study him as he lay there next to me. His jaw and cheekbones were angular, and I reached out to run my fingertip over his early morning dark stubble he’d shave off before he started his day. Everything about him exuded strength and power. Even now as he slept, I felt protected with him by my side.