by K. M. Scott
Kane said nothing but squeezed me tighter against him. He didn’t know what I planned to do for him later that night, but I just prayed he’d understand when he found out.
I kissed Kane goodbye and slammed Gemma’s car door shut, wishing more than anything in the world I didn’t have to leave the man I loved to go work at some place run by a pig. As she drove away, she looked over at me and said, “I still think this is a mistake, Abbi.”
“Just drive. I have to do this.”
“I just think this has the potential to be really bad. That man already grabbed at you. What are you going to do if he does it again?”
I’d thought about that question hundreds of times since I’d agreed to this deal. The answer was simple. Nothing. I couldn’t do a thing if he grabbed me again because if I didn’t make Jethro happy, Kane would go to jail.
“I’ll be fine. You know me. I’m much tougher than I look.”
She gave me a sideways glance and a tiny smile. “By the way, I like this new look on you. Your hair looks cute.”
I instinctively tugged on the bottom of my hair but remembered how much Kane loved my look, even this one. “I got rid of the wig after Kane got blood in it the other night.”
“He really fucked that guy up, honey. If he finds out where you’re going on your nights off, he’s going to freak. I wouldn’t want to be that guy when he finds out.”
“Gemma, he can’t find out. If he does and something happens, they’ll make him go to jail. I can’t let that happen.”
“I have to wonder if there was another way, Abbi. I worry someone’s going to get hurt.”
I worried about that too, but I needed to do this. Kane deserved better than being punished because of who I was. Whatever made men want to hurt me, I had to take responsibility and protect the man I loved.
“Everything will be fine, Gemma. Just promise me that you won’t say a thing to Kane, no matter what he does. I need you to promise me that.”
She hesitated but finally said in a low voice, “I just don’t want you to get hurt, honey.”
“Please promise me you won’t tell Kane. He can’t find out because then he’ll go after Jethro again. Don’t worry, okay?”
Gemma and I rode along in silence for the rest of the drive to Jethro’s bar in Bradenton, she likely worrying about what she saw as my latest huge mistake and me praying to God that my new boss would be too afraid to do anything to me in fear that Kane would kill him the next time.
She stopped in front of a rundown building with peeling white paint and a boarded up window. Not a good sign. Since he had a councilman for a brother who got all that money Kane and his brothers paid him every month, I expected something better than a dive bar. Suddenly, my decision to work for Jethro seemed like a very bad idea. Dive bars didn’t get the kind of clientele places like Club X did, and they rarely had the kind of security Kane and his men provided either.
Gemma stared wide-eyed at the building and then turned to look at me in horror. “Abbi, you can’t do this! Look at this place! No, no, no—”
I reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her from flailing. “I don’t have a choice, so don’t make this worse, okay? Just be back for two. And don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
“You have your phone, right? I want you to call me if anything happens. I’m not kidding, Abbi. If anything at all happens, you need to call me asap. I’ll be right near my phone all night.”
Leaning over, I held her to calm her nerves. “I’ll be fine, sweetie. Remember? I’m tougher than I look.”
Gemma hugged me tightly like she didn’t want to let me go. “Please be careful, Abbi. I have a bad feeling about this.”
“It’ll be fine. Really. See you at two.” I leaned back and saw the worry etched into her face. I was worried too, but I couldn’t let her know or she’d never let me out of that car. “It’s all good. Two o’clock, okay?”
Nodding, she knitted her brows, unable to pretend she was okay with any of this. “I’ll be here. Just remember you get out of there if anything happens.”
I lied and promised her I’d call her if I got into trouble, but I knew I couldn’t do that. No matter what Jethro did, I had to deal with it. Kane’s freedom depended on it.
The inside of Jethro’s bar, The Greyhound, looked pretty much like the outside. Dimly lit, it had a feeling like somewhere you knew you weren’t supposed to be. The old wooden bar that greeted customers as they walked through the front door looked like it had seen thousands of bar fights. Scratches, pock marks, and gouges marred the dark wood and made the bar look very much like a dive. The black paint on the walls did a poor job of hiding the years of neglect they’d seen, but at least it probably made the blood splatters harder to see.
I took a deep breath in and smelled the disgusting odor of stale nicotine, even though there wasn’t an ashtray anywhere in sight. Looking above my head, I saw the source of the stink, ceiling tiles stained a golden brown from all the cigarette smoke they’d absorbed over time.
God, this place was gross, just like its owner.
Only a few men sat on ripped vinyl barstools watching some football game on the small TV at the end of the bar, old guys drinking cheap beer on tap from dirty glasses. I didn’t see any women as I looked around, but as I studied my new workplace, I saw Mason come out of a back room.
Slightly less disgusting than his brother, he still fit in perfectly in The Greyhound. Unlike when I saw him sitting behind his desk in his councilman’s office in a nice suit and tie, now he wore jeans and a black button down shirt that looked much cheaper. I suspected this was who he really was, no matter what act he put on for the voters.
He approached me and took my hand to shake it. “I’m so glad you decided to come tonight, Abigail. I wasn’t sure you’d show up.”
Surprised by the tightness of his handshake, I hurriedly tore my hand from his hold and forced a smile. “I live up to my word, Mr. Jennings. I know you do too. Thank you for that.”
“Please, no more Mr. Jennings. Call me Mason. We’re going to be spending time together working here, so I think informality is called for.”
“Oh, we are? Where’s your brother?”
“Jethro is still on the mend, so until he’s back up on his feet, I’m taking care of the bar.”
A sense of relief washed over me. The news of no Jethro to deal with made me feel much better. Mason might look cheap, but as a public official, he’d know that attacking young women would endanger his political career.
“I’m glad to hear he’s doing well. Just tell me what you need me to do and we can get started.”
“I think for tonight just getting used to the bar will be good enough. It will get busier in a couple hours, so that should give you enough time to get your bearings.”
Nodding, I smiled for real this time and turned to make my way to the bar, but Mason’s hand caught my arm. “Oh, and Abigail, while what you’re wearing is nice, you’re going to have to wear something more revealing from now on.”
Just the way he said those words, as if I was just a body to be leered at and nothing more, made my stomach drop. Mason stared at me, waiting for my answer, so I quickly said, “Sure. No problem.”
I just hoped it wasn’t a sign that everything I feared about working at The Greyhound was beginning to come true.
Mason left me alone for the rest of the night, and surprisingly, the patrons of Jethro’s bar acted like perfect gentlemen. That they were all nearly three times my age might have been why, but whatever the reason was, they made my first night on the job painless and quite easy. A crowd did come in around ten, so I kept busy for a few hours, but I was always on the lookout for where Mason might be. I saw him speaking to a few men at one of the tables in a dark corner at one point, but when those men left, he returned to the back room.
The few patrons left by two o’clock quietly finished their drinks and pushed their glasses toward the inside of the bar before leaving. I cleaned up my area and wiped down the
bar, thinking Mason would come out to say goodbye or something, but he never showed his face again. Even when I called his name, I got no response. As much as I dreaded going into the back room to find him, I couldn’t just leave without telling him.
Opening the door, I poked my head in and saw him sitting at a table working on his laptop. I’d been so worried about what I’d find that I let out an audible sigh, and he turned to look at me with an expression that instantly made any relief I’d felt disappear.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to intrude. I just wanted to tell you that I cleaned up and it’s after two, so I’m going to leave now.”
His dark eyes scanned my body from head to toe and back up again before he spoke. “Very nice. I’ll see you again on Sunday, right?”
“But state law doesn’t let you serve alcohol on Sundays.”
“We don’t, but the bar is open on Sundays, Abigail, so I expect to see you here at nine sharp. Are we clear?”
I was anything but clear on what I’d be doing at a bar on a Sunday, but as I hesitated to give my answer, Mason stood and walked over to stand in front of me, glowering down at me. “That was our agreement, Abigail. You work here and I make sure Kane stays out of jail. I’d hate to see such a pretty girl heartbroken because her boyfriend had to spend time in prison for his violent tendencies.”
This man frightened me, but what choice did I have? “No, no. I understand. I’ll be here at nine Sunday. Since I’m not bartending, do I still need to wear different clothes?”
Mason gave me a sinister smile. “Yes, definitely. Let’s try something more feminine next time.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll be here.”
I ran out of The Greyhound, desperate to get away from Mason and that look on his face that told me he was who I should be afraid of, not Jethro.
* * *
I ROLLED over and stretched the sleep from my limbs, loving the feel of Abbi’s warm skin touching mine. Of all the days of the week, I loved Sundays the most because we could stay in bed all day if we wanted to, and nobody and nothing interrupted us. Half-asleep, she curled up against my chest, nuzzling her face in the space between my shoulder and ear.
“What time is it?” she mumbled.
“Shhh. Go back to sleep,” I whispered, touching my lips to the top of her head. Shimmying against me to find the perfect spot, she moaned softly as I slid my fingertips over the ends of her hair.
Even now that the evidence of that asshole ex’s attack on her had faded and her hair had grown in, I still liked to feel the strands so soft against my fingertips. I knew she loved it too. That I had to fight the urge to rip the guy’s fucking head off every time I thought about what he’d done didn’t matter. All that mattered was when I played with her hair it made Abbi happy.
Only once before in my life had any person brought me such joy as she did. When she was near me, nothing could diminish my happiness. When she wasn’t, she was all I thought of. I willingly admitted I was obsessed with her and making her the happiest woman on earth.
I’d lived alone for over a decade, and I’d planned on spending the rest of my life that way. Some people shouldn’t be around others. They only end up hurting them. I believed that until Abbi showed up in front of me in Cash’s office that night. I’d convinced myself that I’d never want to be close to anyone ever again, but all it took was one look from those gentle blue eyes and I was lost.
I didn’t realize how lost until I saw her standing on that stage at The Carousel Club surrounded by all those men ogling her. I felt their eyes on her body and couldn’t leave her standing up there for them. She was too gentle, too sweet. Suddenly, all those years alone evaporated and the need to protect her like I should have protected Holly became my only thought.
Abbi stirred in my arms and cooed next to my ear, “I could stay here forever, you know that?”
“Me too. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“Can we?” she asked.
“Can we what?”
She kissed my neck and squeezed me to her. “Stay here forever.”
I heard fear in her voice and eased her off me to look into her eyes. I saw the fear in them too. “What’s wrong, angel?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“You’re afraid of something. What is it?”
“I’m not afraid of anything, Kane. Why would I be? I’m here with you and you take care of me.”
Abbi smiled, but there was something underneath her sweet look that troubled me. She was afraid of someone or something.
“Is it me? Are you afraid of me?” Just saying those words made me feel like my world was falling away from me.
Abbi looked up at me and shook her head. “No! Don’t ever think that.”
“I see the fear in your eyes, Abbi. I guess I wouldn’t blame you after what I told you about my past and what you saw me do to Jethro. I would never hurt you, though. I hope you know that.”
“No! I don’t think that at all. Nobody has ever been as kind to me as you. Why would I be frightened of you?”
Lowering my head, I said, “Because I’m exactly what that judge said I was all those years ago. Violent. Dangerous. A monster.”
Abbi lifted my face so I had no choice but to look at her. Now instead of fear I saw sadness in her eyes.
“You’re not a monster, Kane. You hit Jethro to protect me. That judge was wrong.”
I took her hands so small compared to mine and cradled them in my palms. “I knew it wasn’t about protecting you after the first time my fist connected with his face. After that, it was about vengeance. That’s the problem, Abbi. I say it’s about protecting you, but it’s about hurting people to make them pay for hurting you. There’s a difference.”
She said nothing but looked up at me, searching my face for some answer. I knew what question she wanted to ask.
“Did you do that to Aaron?” she asked, her eyes wide in anticipation of my answer.
I could have lied. She’d never know. I could have pretended someone else finally gave him what he deserved, but I didn’t. I brought her hands to my lips and kissed them softly before murmuring the truth against her tender skin.
“Yes.”
“Why? You could have gotten in trouble and then they’d take you away,” she sobbed quietly.
Reaching out to touch her, I caught the ends of her hair between my fingertips. “That first night I came back to my rooms and saw you lying there in my bed with your hair all cut off. Then you told me he did that to you, and all I wanted to do was hurt him because he hurt you. I found him at his new apartment and did exactly what I did to Jethro. I knew it was wrong, but I’m not sorry.”
Abbi stared at me but said nothing. I knew what she must be thinking. “You probably think I’m that monster now.”
She pressed her lips to mine in a kiss that made my heart swell with joy. “Kane, I would never think you’re a monster for that.”
“I can’t help that I want to hurt people who hurt you. This is who I am.”
Abbi took a deep breath. “Aaron beat me over and over for months. One time I couldn’t see out of my right eye for nearly a week. He tried to strangle me one time because I forgot to buy eggs. He pounded my head into the kitchen wall that time and I blacked out. I woke up alone covered in the raw bacon I was getting ready to cook when he went after me. I don’t care what happens to him. I care about you being taken away, though.”
I pulled her close to me and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere, angel.”
“I can’t live without you, Kane. If they took you away, I don’t know what I’d do.”
Stroking her hair, I tried to make her feel better. “Shhh. Nobody’s taking me anywhere. Mason got the charges dropped. I’m staying right here with you.”
We lay there with her face buried in my chest as I thought of how real the threat of me leaving had been. For the first time in my life, I wanted to stay somewhere, but my demons had other thoughts. They wanted to make anyone who even touched the woman I
loved feel the pain of my fists.
Abbi lifted her head and stared up at me. “I want you to promise me something.”
Smoothing the stray hairs from her face, I nodded. “Anything.”
“Promise me you won’t ever leave. Promise me you won’t do anything to make them take you away.”
I knew what she was asking. She wanted me to say I wouldn’t protect her if it meant I might go to jail. I couldn’t make that promise.
“I can’t. If someone hurts the woman I love, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure they can’t do it again, Abbi.”
She pushed herself away from me and stood up from the bed. “Then you’re going to make sure they take you away from me! You can’t love me like you say you do and then risk having to leave.”
I couldn’t stand the pain in her voice. It was like it had my heart and was squeezing with every word. “I protect the woman I love. I have to. I didn’t do that once and she suffered for it. I won’t let that happen again.”
“I’m not her, Kane. I need you with me, not in prison because you wanted to beat the fuck out of some guy because he touched me!”
“I can’t change who I am, angel.”
“So you don’t care that you’re going to leave me alone if you do that again?”
“I fucking care, Abbi. The thought of being without you makes me feel like someone’s ripping my heart out. Don’t think that I don’t care. Don’t ever think that.”
Leaning on the bed, she took my hand in hers. “Then don’t do it. Don’t leave me here all alone.”
“I can’t fight the demons inside me when someone does something to hurt you. Don’t ask me to. I can’t.”
“Baby, what kind of demons are these? How can you talk about them trying to control you when we make love and in the same way talk about them making you hurt people? Do you want to hurt me?”
“No. Never. I would never hurt you, Abbi. Never.”
She climbed onto the bed and crawled over to sit next to me. “Then what are they?”