by Emerson Rose
Think, think, think, how do I get out of these damn things? Maybe there is something in the drawers that will work? Yes, why didn’t I think about that before?
I open the drawers under the sink. Nothing, but in the back is a small manicure set with pink and purple stickers on it. It must be Adley’s. Inside is a pair of cuticle nippers, perfect. I hold them awkwardly inward and cut my hands free and then my ankles.
These will work to get Gage and Adley free as well. They’re small enough to hide in my sleeve and sharp as hell. I slip them inside the cuff of my shirt and adjust the zip tie around my wrists before hopping back into the living room.
Now what? I have three EpiPens, and I’m not restrained anymore. Lenny needs to believe that I’m still bound. I hold the tie at the cut end inside my hands, keeping them together, so it appears to be intact. My wrists sting where they’ve been burned.
I flush the toilet and clean up my match mess. I haven’t touched a match, other than Adley’s giant fake one, in fourteen years. Even though they didn’t burn through the zip ties, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Quickly, I review the directions on how to use the pen and stuff it back into the waistband of my pants. I was trained on them in high school when I worked at a summer camp, so I know the gist of it. I need to hit him with two at the same time to stun him, so we can tie him up. Gage’s feet aren’t bound anymore, but his hands are. I need to cut him free fast so he can unarm Lenny.
The storm is still raging outside, so we can’t leave. We have to restrain Lenny and wait for the authorities. Will these flimsy zip ties hold him? They didn’t hold me. Although, we aren’t stupid enough to fall for an IBS excuse like he did. How can a grown man be afraid of poopy pants anyway?
I open the door to the bathroom and stop to adjust my cut zip tie around my wrists one more time.
“It’s ‘bout time, I thought you had the runs, you shoulda been in and out,” Lenny says with a sneer from across the room. What an asshole.
“Sometimes you think you’re done, and you’re not,” I sing from my spot on the couch trying to make light of his snarky comment.
“There, everything I have has been transferred into your account, Lenny. You can let us go now,” Gage says.
Lenny chuckles. “Yeah right, come on man, you got more than that. I want it all.” He pokes Gage between his shoulder blades hard with the rifle.
“No, that’s it. I don’t work, Lenny. I’ve been living off the money I had when Constance died. I paid for this house with her life insurance, and I’ve supported us with what I had in savings since then. We don’t buy stuff or go on vacations because that money needs to last forever or until I find a way to support us without singing.”
“I don’t believe you. This place is swanky, it had to cost a million bucks easy, and you gotta have somebody handlin’ your cash, making you more money. You’re holding out on me, motherfucker.” He aims his rifle at Adley again, and her whole body begins to tremble, urine trickles down the side of the chair she’s sitting in at the computer desk, and Gage’s eyes fill with the rage of a father seeing his child being tortured.
This is it, Lenny is flustered. I need to take advantage of the moment. I flick the loose zip tie from my wrists and shake the nippers free from my cuff dropping them in the process.
Gage has taken a step toward Lenny. He’s so angry, he isn’t thinking about the gun to his baby’s head, but I am. Lenny is yelling, and Gage is closing in on him ready to do damage any way possible. I dart around the wall that runs behind the fireplace and race to the end of the room under the stairs positioning myself behind Lenny.
I take out two of the EpiPens popping off the blue safety caps and chanting to myself blue to the sky, orange to the thigh like I was taught in my first-aid class. Gage is yelling now, and things are escalating. I have to move.
Charging into the room armed with an EpiPen in each hand, Gage’s eyes swing to me, and Lenny begins to turn. I dart behind Lenny before he sees me and stab him in the neck on both sides. Please, God, let it hit his carotid artery on either side so that the medication will shoot straight to his heart.
“Clover!” Gage yells as Lenny’s arm comes up to bash me across the face, but it’s too late. He’s already feeling the effect of the epinephrine, and he’s going down.
Blood flows from my nose like a faucet to the floor where Lenny is convulsing. I stare in shock unprepared to see a man die before my eyes. “Clover, get away from him,” Gage yells kicking the rifle away from Lenny’s twitching body.
I take a step away, but I can’t take my eyes off of him. He is staring at the ceiling with glassy far-away eyes gasping for breath and pulling at the collar of his shirt.
“Cut me free. We need to call for help!”
“Clover, Clover, help Daddy!” Adley’s voice cuts through my moment of hysteria, and I run to the couch where the nippers lie on the floor. I snatch them and hurry back to cut Gage and Adley free.
He grabs the rifle in one hand and Adley in the other while herding me to the kitchen. “Holy shit, Clover! What did you do?”
Without a word, I reach under my shirt and pull out the last EpiPen and hold it up. “Epinephrine delivered straight to the heart can be fatal,” I murmur in a voice that I don’t recognize.
“You’re in shock. And your nose is broken. Sit.” He guides me to a seat at the island and sits Adley on top of it next to me. “You stay right here. I’m going to see if he’s dead.”
“Daddy, no, don’t go!” Adley takes hold of his shirt clinging to him like a baby monkey.
“It’s okay, baby. I need to make sure he can’t hurt us anymore.”
“Let him go, he’ll be right back,” I say robotically. She releases her grip and switches her focus to me.
“You’re bleedin’ a lot.”
“I’m okay, doesn’t hurt.”
We watch Gage carefully cross the room to look at Lenny. He isn’t moving anymore, but his eyes are still open. The gasping has stopped, and he appears to be dead.
“Check for a pulse,” I say. He leans forward lifting his chin to peer down at Lenny’s still body. When he is satisfied there is no movement, he squats down and feels for a pulse. “He’s gone,” he says softly, and I almost feel guilty for killing his old bandmate.
Almost.
He stands grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch and covers Lenny’s body out of respect? Or disgust? Maybe both.
“Is h-h-he d-dead?” Adley stutters.
“Yeah, honey, he can’t hurt us anymore.” She burros her face into the curve of my neck and sobs.
“Thank you, Clover. He was a bad man…” She cries, and I hold her tight watching Gage cross the room to the refrigerator where he removes a bag of peas.
“Tilt your head back,” he says to me and hands the peas to Adley. “Hold these on her nose, baby. I have to call the police.”
She looks at me, and I take the peas pressing them on my nose. “Ouch!” I say flinching. I haven’t had time to process the pain until this moment.
Adley looks worried and hops down off the counter. “I’ll get another towel.”
I should stop her. I should keep an eye on her. She’s in shock, too. She’s back before I can stop her, though, handing me a dish towel. I hold it under my nose where blood is pouring out. “I should lay down.” She takes my hand, and we go to the couch. I can’t help but look at the lump on the floor where Lenny’s body is hidden under the blanket.
I killed a man. He is dead, and I am the reason why. I don’t like the way that feels settling in my chest. Why? Why couldn’t he just ask for a little help? Gage would have done that. I’m sure of it. He’s a good man, he didn’t mean to hurt anybody, but sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees. His pain was too great, too encompassing, too… big. And now I get to live with this for the rest of my life.
17
Gage
I was about to kill the sonofabitch. I can’t believe she beat me
to it, and with my EpiPens, fucking genius.
I sit at the computer and connect with Adley’s school. Miss Kitty answers right away, her concerned face filling the screen. “Oh my God, are you okay? I tried to reconnect, but you didn’t answer and…”
“Kitty, please call the police again and tell them we caught the kidnapper and he’s… dead.”
“Oh, oh God, oh my God, is Adley…”
“She’s fine, shaken, traumatized to the core, but physically unharmed.”
“Clover?”
“Her nose is broken but other than that, I think she’s all right.”
“You?”
I shake my head. “I’m fine.”
“Thank heavens,” I watch her dial 911 on her phone and listen patiently while she relays the information. “They say it’s still too dangerous to go up the mountain. This is Detective James, he wants to know where the body is at,” she says with wide eyes. She hasn’t had time to think about what exactly transpired here yet.
“In my living room. I covered him with a blanket.”
She tells the detective what I’ve said and asks what happened. I give her an abbreviated account of how things went down.
“He says to stay away from the area where it took place and don’t move the body.”
“Okay, any idea how long it’s going to be? We need to get Clover to a hospital. If it starts to slow down, can I bring her down on an ATV?”
I wait while she asks, her eyes never leaving mine as she shakes her head. “He says not to leave the scene of the crime until authorities arrive.”
“How long?”
“The storm is supposed to start letting up this evening, but they’ll have to clear some snow before they can come up there.”
“We’re going upstairs so I can clean Clover up and get away from the body. Hey, there was a photographer up here last night. Tell the police to keep an eye out for him. If he didn’t leave when I told him to, he’s probably dead, too.”
She closes her eyes and breathes deep. Then she tells the detective what I’ve said.
“I have to go, tell them to hurry.”
“Of course, go take care of your girls. Gage?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m so happy you’re all safe now.”
“Thanks, me, too. I’ll call you soon.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” I disconnect the call and turn the chair around. Clover is lying on the couch with the bag of frozen peas on her face and Adley curled up under her arm. I owe that woman my child’s life as well as my own. If anything had happened to Adley, I would have died.
I go to her and kneel down next to the couch to lay my body over both of them. “Thank you.”
“Are the police coming?” Her voice is shaky and sounds nasal from all the blood and swelling.
“Not yet, they can’t get up here. I think we should go upstairs and get you cleaned up and into bed.”
“I need to wait, I don’t think I can make it yet.”
“I’ll carry you, let me take Adley up first.” I try to pry Adley from Clover’s side, but she’s stiff as a board and white-knuckling her shirt. “Baby, come upstairs with me. We can all snuggle in my bed with Clover, but I can’t carry you both at the same time, honey. You need to let go of her shirt.”
“I’m scared,” she says her voice muffled against Clover’s body.
“Go with your daddy, honey, you’re safe now. That man can’t hurt anybody anymore,” Clover says.
Adley turns her face to me, and my heart shatters into microscopic shards. She looks small and afraid and helpless. “I don’t wanna see him.” Her bottom lip is trembling as tears fill my eyes.
“You don’t have to, he’s all covered up, and you can bury your face in the side of my neck as we walk, okay?”
Her brow furrows, and I can tell she wants to trust me, but it’s hard right now after all that’s happened here today. Slowly she releases her grip on the shirt and rolls toward me. I lift her up and push her face into my neck. “I’ll be back in a minute for you. Will you be okay?”
Stupid question. She won’t ever be okay again. She just killed a man, no matter that it was to save Adley and me. That blood is on her hands, and she already feels like she’s responsible for her parents’ deaths.
“I’ll be here.” Her eyes are closed, her mouth twisted in pain, and she’s covered in blood all of which is my fault. I turn and carry Adley upstairs changing her out of her bloody clothes quickly so that I can get back to Clover.
Tucking the comforter under her chin, I reassure her that I’ll be right back and hurry back downstairs.
Tears trickle down the sides of her face onto the pillow under her head. I slide my arms under her knees and around her shoulders lifting her gently trying not to jostle her and cause more pain. “I have some pain medicine left from having dental work. I think you should take it. The police can’t get up here until morning, and the pain is only going to get worse.”
“Okay.”
I expected an argument about that. Clover has said before that she doesn’t like to take medicine. How long does shock last? I think all three of us are still in the midst of it.
Upstairs, I sit her on the edge of the bathtub and undress her with no assistance from her at all. I worry about putting her in the water, but I can’t get in with Adley in my bed right behind me. “Clover? Are you with me, beautiful? I want to put you in the tub, can you sit up?”
She nods, and I help her up before lowering her into the water. Most of her blood was on her clothes and the floor downstairs, but a fair amount is in her hair and drying on her face. “Here,” I hand her a wet washcloth. “Hold that over your face to loosen the dried blood. I don’t want to rub your skin and make it worse.”
She tips her head back placing the washcloth over her face. “I killed a man,” she murmurs from under the cloth.
“A bad man who was going to kill all of us. I didn’t have access to what he wanted. I gave him everything I had in my accounts, but the rest is tied up in investments.” I kneel down next to the tub by her head. “He was crazy, he was going to shoot Adley. I could feel it. I was so fucking scared I was moving in to head-butt him when you intervened. Did you get free in the bathroom?”
“Yes.” She holds up her wrists to show me the deep blistering burns she got burning off the zip ties.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I know how you feel about fire, but it was all I could think of, and my hands are too big and clumsy to light a match while tied up. Let me get some salve for those,” I say standing up. She grabs my hand before I can walk across the bathroom to the first aid kit I keep in the linen closet.
“I’m cursed, Gage. You and Adley need to get away from me. Everyone I love dies. Please, promise me when I leave, you won’t look for me.” Her words are delivered with an empty stare and a deep, deep sadness which causes physical pain in my chest.
“Honey, you’re in shock. None of this was your fault. Hell, you saved our lives. Lenny would have shown up eventually for his revenge. The fact that you were here when he did makes you a lucky charm, not a curse.”
“No, no, no. He wouldn’t have found you. It was me who led him here, he said so himself.”
“Or a higher power brought you to me to save our lives. It’s all in how you look at it.”
Her grip loosens, and her hand slips back into the steaming water. Her gaze lowers at first and then she looks away. I go about dressing her wounds, washing her hair and dressing her in my thermal underwear and a thick sweatshirt. Then I place her in bed next to Adley and give her two pain pills to help her nose and wrists. I also give them to her so she will sleep. She doesn’t seem stable. I’m worried she might try something stupid like walking out of here in a storm to put distance between us because she believes she’s cursed.
“Adley, baby, I’m going downstairs for some ice for Clover’s face. Do you want anything? You haven’t eaten in a long time, are you hungry?” Ollie looks up at me with worried
eyes from the foot of the bed where he has taken up residence guarding my girls. I give him a pat on the head, but he ducks out from under my hand to keep Adley and Clover in his sights.
“No but…” She fidgets, and her eyes flash to the door and back to me.
“What baby? What is it?”
“He’s down there,” she whispers.
“Remember when that big ol raccoon died on the lawn a couple of summers ago?”
“Uh huh.”
“Remember how he came asking for food every day, and he sat in your lawn chair sometimes and looked so cute?”
“Yeah.”
“And was he like that when he was dead?”
Realization fills her eyes. “No, he was just lying there when he was dead.”
“That’s right. Lenny is dead. That’s just his body down there just like the raccoon’s body was in our yard. The bad part of Lenny is gone, his body can’t hurt us anymore.”
She knows the difference between dead and alive living on a mountain, but it’s different when the thing that’s dead is a person. “I’ll be right back. The medicine I gave Clover is going to make her sleepy, but she won’t hurt anymore. Try not to wake her up.”
“I won’t, Daddy.”
In the morning, I’m up before the sun bringing in firewood and shoveling my property and the beginning of the road down the mountain. I didn’t sleep, and neither did Adley until sunrise when she couldn’t keep her eyelids open anymore.
I wasn’t crazy about leaving the two of them in the house with a dead body, but if I want the cops up here as soon as possible, I had to make moves.
Usually, after a big storm, I take pictures of buildings on my property or the layer of ice on the tree branches or animals making fresh tracks in the white powder. Not today.
I don’t even look around at the scenic views. I have tunnel vision, and my only goal is to move snow and get Lenny’s damn body off my mountain. Like a machine, I shovel moving snow off the path. It’s taking forever, my stomach is eating my ass, and I am approaching exhaustion when I hear the sound of multiple ATVs on the trail beneath me.