Loving You: Mpreg Romance (My One-Night Stand Series Book 2)

by Giovanna Reaves

“You were a father, Tyler, whether it was for two seconds or twenty years doesn’t negate those feelings. I know you would have taken care of Ethan and your child, not because of obligation or any of that shit, that is not who you are. You would have done it because you care about Ethan and the baby.”

  His father paused for a for a second before continuing. “It is ok to be angry, Tyler. Be angry at the situation and at the person who was recklessly driving, hell, be angry at Ethan for his small part by not coming to you and telling you that he was pregnant. But for God sake’s, son, don’t be angry at yourself.”

  His dad was right, why should he not be angry? He had every right to be. Someone took his unborn child away from him. “How do I… how do we move on from this?”

  “It won’t be easy, but you and Ethan will move past this. Building a relationship based firmly on trust takes time, you just need to be patient, son, you both will have to be.”

  Patient, damn that is certainly going to be difficult. Ethan can be stubborn, even on a good day. But his dad was right, “You are pretty wise for an old guy; you know that?” Tyler told Asher.

  His dad chuckled. “Who are you calling old, I am young enough to hang with the best of them.” Tyler smiled, he knew calling his dad and speaking with him was the best thing to do. “Listen,” Asher said, getting his attention. “I won’t say anything to your mother as of yet. I know you and Ethan need time to work things out, but I won’t keep things from her too long.”

  “Thanks, Dad, I really appreciate it.”

  “No problem, son, and listen when you find that Sean Pearson or whatever the fuck he goes by, leave a piece of him for me. No one messes with family.”

  Tyler smiled, his dad was a serious badass and when it came to his family, and he would kill for them without a second thought. “I love you, Dad.” He felt a shift inside of himself when he realized that his family were the only ones he had ever said those three words to and how one day he would possibly say those words to Ethan.

  “I love you too, son.”

  They hung up and Tyler stood in the same spot for a while, formulating the best way to deal with the whole situation. When nothing came to mind, he pulled away from the window and made his way back to Ethan’s room. The best way to deal with it was head on. His first mission was to get him and Ethan both past their loss.

  ** ** ** ** **

  CHAPTER NINE

  Ethan opened his eyes. Dammit, I’m still in the hospital. He was praying the day was all a dream and he had not lost his child. Slowly, Ethan rolled over onto his side facing the window. He certainly did not expect to be in the hospital, at least not until he was going in to have his baby. Ethan was beginning to hate hospitals more than he thought possible.

  That won’t happen anymore.

  Ethan’s only hope was that Tyler would find it in his heart to forgive him for not telling him. He honestly planned on telling him, Ethan simply needed time to figure out exactly what to say. Except, it was too late, the thought of revealing his feelings only to have them rebuffed nicely was not something he was looking forward to.

  However, it paled in comparison to never knowing his child. Ethan would live with the constant regret of not giving Tyler the opportunity of the joy and wonderment he experienced in those last four months.

  The door to his room opened, but Ethan didn’t turn around, he didn’t need to, he knew exactly who it was. The bed dipped and a warm body snuggled close to him. Fingers lightly touched his hip, then slowly moved to his abs, Tyler’s fingers felt warm and comforting on his skin. Ethan closed his eyes squeezing them tightly as tears fell from them. A gentle kiss was placed on the top of his head and his heart broke all over again.

  “Why are you still here?” Ethan silently asked.

  “Where else am I supposed to be?” Ethan heard no anger in his tone.

  “I’ve brought you nothing but grief, Tyler, how can you want to be here?” His voice cracked when he spoke.

  “I’m here because here is where I want to be. It’s not going to be easy, but trust me when I tell you that we are going to be ok, ba…love, I promise.” Tyler whispered the last word.

  Ethan caught the change in endearment and wondered if Tyler would ever feel comfortable saying that word again, or if he would ever want to hear that word again. Ethan nodded his head and placed his hand on the hand resting on his stomach. Ethan wanted to say more, like I’m sorry, but the change in Tyler’s breathing told him that he was asleep. He listened to Tyler’s deep breathing, which always seemed to calm him and soon he too was asleep.

  ** ** ** ** **

  Ethan woke sometime later or maybe it was the next day, he wasn’t sure. With Tyler sticking close to him, he was able to sleep. Ethan’s head was resting on Tyler’s chest and Tyler’s fingers were running through his hair. It had grown a bit longer in the past few months and he was starting to feel like his old self again.

  “I always loved your curls,” Tyler murmured, his voice vibrated through Ethan’s ear. “All night I couldn’t help but wonder if our baby would have looked like you, had your beautiful multicolored jewels.”

  Ethan had no idea if Tyler was aware that he was awake or not, so he remained silent and listened. “Why did you run from me, Ethan?”

  Ethan didn’t answer right away.

  “I would have cared for both of you. I might not have been ready to be a father, but we could have worked it out together. I’m so fucking pissed at you right now. But I can’t blame you for what happened. Our baby died because of some idiot and for that we are both hurting. I don’t know how to make this better, for the both of us.”

  Ethan squeezed his eyes shut and opened them slowly and started talking. “I should have told you, I know that. But I also didn’t want to tie you to me unwillingly because we were having a baby together.” Ethan lifted his head looking at Tyler. “I know I fucked up a lot,” he said. “I realize that leaving that night without talking to you was very stupid, but I…”

  Ethan paused before revealing his true feelings. “I figured that I damaged what little connection we were building. And I hadn’t heard from you, so I stopped waiting for a call or text from you.”

  “I was out of the country in a remote area,” Tyler said, interrupting him. “It still doesn’t explain why you left. Granted, we never got that far into our relationship to talk about a future that included children, much less marriage.”

  “I saw you, ok,” Ethan spoke up. “After my doctor’s appointment when he confirmed that I was pregnant, I went to see you and before I could get out of my car, I saw you kiss that woman!”

  Ethan’s anger and jealousy, which he held on to for the past four months, came forward.

  “I hated the fact that you never gave me the chance to pull my shit together before you went and found someone else to warm your bed. That night I saw you kissing that brunette, you looked quite content and I thought you moved on. It was a part of our initial agreement, after all.”

  There was a puzzled expression on Tyler’s face that Ethan could not decipher. Ethan tried to pull away, but Tyler held on to him.

  Tyler sighed. “I thought you of all people would have been able to tell us apart by now,” Tyler said, running his hand over his face. “Ethan, that wasn’t me, it was Lucas. Believe me when I say this, I haven’t been with anyone but you since our first night in Vegas.”

  Ethan didn’t know what to say. He felt like an idiot for assuming that Tyler had simply broke off their relationship without saying something to him.

  Tyler’s hand rested on his face getting his attention. “Listen to me, Ethan, I want you. I want to be with you not for just one night or a weekend, I want you for forever. I know that we have a lot to work out and talk about, but you are it for me. No more holding things back or being afraid to tell each other what we are feeling.”

  Tyler sat up, pulling Ethan with him. Ethan’s head was on his shoulder. Tyler placed two fingers under Ethan’s chin and lifted it so that they were look
ing at each other. Tyler bent down and kissed Ethan gently on his lips. “This might not be the right time, but I don’t want any more doubt in your mind.”

  Tyler caressed Ethan’s cheeks with his thumb. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Ethan. I think I have been in love with you for a very long time and was too afraid to admit it to myself. The entire time we were apart, it drove me crazy to not be with you.”

  Ethan closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Tyler’s chin. “Me too,” he whispered. “I’ve fallen in love with you too,” he admitted. Ethan raised his head, staring into Tyler’s eyes. He lifted one of his hands and placed it on Tyler’s cheek. Their heads came together and he closed his eyes. Ethan felt free, that he was able to reveal a small part of his feelings and not have them thrown back in his face.

  “We are going to be ok,” Tyler said. Ethan nodded his head in agreement, actually believing it for the first time in a very long time. Especially after the past few hours. They laid back down on the bed and snuggled together, with Tyler holding him as he fell asleep again.

  ** ** ** ** **

  It felt like deja vu all over again to Ethan. Tyler bringing him home from the hospital, Ethan promised himself that as long as he lived, he never wanted to see or be near another hospital again. Ethan and Tyler decided to stay in Alaska for a few more days. Ethan had admitted that he was not ready to go home, and Tyler didn’t seem to be in a rush to get home either.

  They hadn’t spoken any more on the accident and what had happened and for that Ethan was grateful. There were a few times, while in the hospital, he wanted to pick up the phone and call his mother, seeking out some kind of compassion from her but didn’t bother, knowing that she would not care.

  Ethan was standing by the window, staring out, but not really looking at anything, when he felt strong arms slide around his waist and pull him against a strong chest. Ethan laid his head back on Tyler’s shoulder, neither spoke, not needing words to say how they felt.

  “You need to rest,” Tyler said, breaking the quiet mood. “The doctor said it will take time before you will feel like yourself again.”

  Ethan nodded his head. “I know. But, I have been in bed for the past few days. I just want to stand here for a bit.”

  “Are you hungry?” Tyler asked.

  Ethan wasn’t and hadn’t been since the day of the accident. He had lost his appetite and was aware of just how worried Tyler was about him. Ethan shook his head no and Tyler sighed behind and held him tighter.

  “You need to eat, Ethan.”

  “I’m ok, honest,” Ethan told him, pulling away from his arms and sitting down on the couch. He hated feeling that way; needy and in need of being rescued again.

  Tyler sat down beside him, not saying a word, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. It seemed Tyler needed physical contact to ensure that Ethan was still beside him. While Ethan was in the hospital, Tyler refused to leave his side, and convinced the staff to let him sleep on the couch in Ethan’s room.

  Ethan looked around the apartment he had been living in and realized just how sparse it really was. The walls were white and void of paintings or pictures to stare at. There wasn’t even a television for entertainment. Ethan shook his head with the realization that he really had no intention of staying there for as long as he had.

  “So did I tell you I have a brother,” Ethan blurted out.

  Tyler froze and pulled away slightly. “Come again.”

  Instead of answering him, Ethan got up and went into his room and again, he noticed that there was only a bed and that he was still living out of a suitcase. He picked up the stacks of letters sitting on the top of his suitcase and went back into the room to see Tyler sprawled out on the couch with his eyes closed. Ethan assumed the other man was asleep and turned around to return the letters when Tyler stopped him.

  “Hey, where are you going?”

  Ethan walked closer. “I thought you were sleeping,” he said, standing above him. Tyler’s eyes were closed and his face looked relaxed for the first time in a couple of days. Tyler grabbed his hand and pulled him on top of him. “Who knew you were such a cuddlier?” he giggled. “I think I like this side of you, Mr. Hamilton.”

  “There are so many sides to me.” Tyler chuckled and wrapped his arms around Ethan tightly. “Like the fact that lately I find it hard to fall asleep unless I have you in my arms.”

  Ethan’s heart melted. “You know all the right things to say, don’t you?”

  “No, not always,” he whispered and Ethan had no response to that and Tyler didn’t elaborate. “So tell me about your brother and where the hell did he show up?”

  “Well, see, that is a funny story,” Ethan expressed before he explained about meeting Richard on the plane and the vibes he got from the other man; to having the feeling of being followed and mysteriously bumping into him at the grocery story. He explained about the letters he had read so far and the love between his father and Sylvia, Richard’s mother.

  Tyler listened, asking questions occasionally. They talked into the night about how Ethan felt knowing that he had a brother and what it could mean for him.

  He admitted that it felt weird and he voiced that after reading the letters, it seemed like he really did not know his father at all.

  “Why didn’t your father divorce your mother anyway, if he was ready to marry Sylvia?” Tyler asked.

  “I don’t know,” Ethan answered, shrugging his shoulder. “I can’t see my father giving up on someone that he loved.”

  “You don’t suppose your mother knew about the divorce and threatened him somehow?”

  Ethan did not know how to answer that question; he had never told Tyler about his suspicions that he believed his mother killed his father.

  “Hey,” Tyler said, getting his attention. Ethan craned his head up to look at Tyler. “Family can get messy sometimes, that’s just the way things are.”

  Ethan nodded his head, “You know what I just realized?”

  “What’s that?” Tyler asked, brushing a lock of hair behind Ethan’s ear.

  “I don’t want to be like my mother. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you and that is something I will regret as long as I live. I kept our child away from you.” Ethan touched the side of Tyler’s cheek. “I don’t want to keep things from you, not anymore.”

  Tyler didn’t respond, it would take time for him to forgive Ethan, and it was understandable. But they were moving in the right direction. The healing process had begun and that was a good thing for both of them. They stayed in the same position even as sleep claimed them, not moving until they woke the next morning.

  ** ** ** ** **

  A couple of weeks later, Tyler was in the kitchen making dinner when his phone rang. Picking it up, he answered, “Hey, big bro, what’s up?”

  “Tyler, we need you to come home. It’s Christen, we need you,” Lucas said.

  Tyler stopped everything that he was doing. “Lucas, what’s wrong?”

  “He’s been kidnapped!”

  “What the fuck!? Who took him and for what purpose?” Tyler turned off the burners and began walking back into the living room where Ethan was sitting on the couch going over paperwork.

  “Fucking O’Brian or Escobar, whatever the hell he is going by,” Lucas told him. Tyler could feel the anger radiating from his brother through the phone. “I don’t know where you are but we need you here, man.”

  “I’m on my way.” Was all he said before hanging up. He stood in front of his lover. “Ethan, I have to go, Christen’s been kidnapped.”

  Instantly Ethan jumped off the couch. “What!? What do you mean? Who? Why would someone take Christen? He’s never done anything malicious to anyone,” he asked frantically, pacing the room. “The babies! Oh my God, are the twins alright?”

  Tyler stopped him by placing a hand on his shoulder so that they were facing each other. “I know just as much as you do at this point, and I need to go and be with my family. But the only thing I want to know is,
are you coming with me?” The worry that Ethan had on his face for Christen now turned into apprehension at the thought of seeing Tyler’s family.

  “Would it make me sound like a terrible person if I said that I’m not ready to go home?” He covered his face ashamed at what he was feeling. Tyler pulled him into his arms and held him, not even for Ethan’s sake but for his own.

  When will things start to feel like they used to?

  “No, it doesn’t. It’s perfectly understandable. I get it, you know that. Besides, one of us needs to be here if the sheriff finds the person who hit you.” Ethan nodded his head and wrapped his arms around Tyler; they stood like that for a few minutes before they pulled apart. “Let me go pack a few things. Can you book my ticket and get me on the next flight to Providence, nonstop?”

  Ethan backed away and went over to his laptop, while Tyler went to the room they shared and packed his bag. The large envelope with the information that he received on Ethan’s ex sat at the bottom and he pulled it out debating what he should do with it. If Ethan was not mentally ready to deal with Christen being kidnapped, would he be able to read through it?

  “What’s that?”

  Tyler turned around to see Ethan standing at the door his eyes trained on the envelope. “I…” he began, “I have been debating on whether to give this to you or not.”

  Ethan’s furrowed his brows. “Look, I know that lately I’ve been an emotional wreck and granted, I’m not ready to be around people, but please do not handle me with kid gloves. I assume this is something that you think I should see eventually?” he asked, and Tyler nodded his head. “Then let me be the one to decide if I should read it or not. Plus, with you gone, it will keep my mind off Christen.”

  “You make it very hard to fucking protect you,” Tyler snapped.

  “I never asked you for your protection,” Ethan argued back.

  Tyler opened his mouth to respond with an angry retort but stopped himself. His worry about Christen and Ethan was not easing his guilt for not being there for his brother.