Alien Upstairs

by Pamela Sargent

  Mars was below them. A dust storm raged across its surface, obscuring it with pink and yellow clouds. She watched it, unable to move, then looked away, following the small helmeted figure. She could see no horizon, and felt disoriented as she stepped carefully over the rocky ground. The light of Mars lit her way. She looked back, and could no longer see the crevice out of which they had climbed.

  A third suited figure appeared ahead. It stood near a patch of jagged stone. Margaret lifted a hand. “Raf,” she said, hailing the other. “Raf."

  Sarah watched him turn. His helmet was a small red globe; she could not see his face. “I thought you'd gone,” he answered in a weary voice.

  "Be assured that I shall, and soon. But I had to speak to you. I must leave."

  "I know. Everyone does. Everyone has."

  "Please come inside, Raf."

  His hands fluttered, then fell to his sides. Sarah supposed that Margaret could have spoken to Raf from below, and had come out only as a gesture.

  Margaret held out her hands to him. “Come below, Raf. I must speak to you."

  "Speak to me here."

  "Raf, I am leaving soon. I shall go with my friend to his station, and we shall search for those beyond us. You must come with me, and say good-bye. There may still be time for you to return these others to their home, and then you can follow me through the Pathway. We shall leave it set for you, so that you will be led to us."

  "I have new friends. I don't need you now, Margaret."

  "You have no friends, you have prisoners."

  "Call them what you like."

  Margaret turned, and motioned to Sarah. They left Raf and made their way back to the precipice.

  Margaret did not speak until they were inside and had taken off their suits. She put them away, then turned to Sarah.

  "I could not say more to him out there,” she murmured. “I was afraid of what he might do."

  She led Sarah into the corridor. “There is only one thing I can do now,” she went on. “I must return you to Earth myself. I may have barely enough time to do so and return. We must get the others and go."

  She darted through the hallways, Sarah following her into unfamiliar passages. She hurried to keep up with the smaller woman. Soon they came to a familiar hallway with manuscripts and photographs heaped against the walls. Margaret led her into their room.

  "Sarah,” Gerard said. He came quickly to her side and held her. “I lost you, so I came back here. Where have you been?"

  "There isn't time to explain,” she replied. “We have to go, we have to leave now. Margaret will take us back to Earth."

  Mr. Epstein stood up slowly. “I haven't even had time to look around."

  "You must leave now,” Margaret said. “If you do not, you will be prisoners here. You will remain as long as I have, perhaps longer."

  The old man looked at Gerard. Sarah could see that he was undecided; even Gerard was hesitating. She tapped the floor impatiently with her toe. At last Gerard gathered up their coats. They moved toward the door.

  It slid shut.

  Margaret ran to it and hit the wall, slapping it with the palm of her hand. The door remained closed.

  "No,” she cried. She hit it again. “He knew. He knew I would come here."

  "Can't you get us out?” Sarah asked.

  Margaret turned to her. “I do not know. If I had some tools with me, perhaps. But I have nothing. Raf can keep us here as long as he likes."

  While they waited, Sarah told her story to the two men. Margaret paced the room nervously.

  As Sarah finished, the old man shook his head. “If there is nothing we can do,” he said, “then we must wait. I wasn't sure I wanted to return anyway."

  "You want to stay here?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “There's a lot we can learn."

  "There's a lot we can learn about insanity, with Raf here."

  Margaret had stopped pacing. She sat on the floor, head bowed. Gerard stared angrily ahead.

  "Margaret,” Sarah said. The small woman raised her head. “Can't you still follow your friend? Raf has to let us out eventually. Can't you go to that room—to the Pathway—and follow him?"

  Margaret's mouth twisted. “Of course, if Raf does not tamper with the Pathway. My friend will try to leave me a route to follow. But Raf will tamper with it now, I am certain.” She bowed her head once more, then got to her feet. She went to the far corner and sat down, drawing up her legs.

  Gerard motioned to Sarah. She followed him to the other side of the room, away from Margaret. He held her hand. “I'm sorry,” he said softly. “We may be trapped here, and it's my fault."

  "It's not anyone's fault."

  "I could have insisted that we not go with Raf."

  "Maybe I wanted to go, deep down. Maybe I would have gone by myself."

  "I don't think so."

  She was suddenly irritated with him. “Don't be so sure.” She released his hand. “It doesn't matter now, anyway."

  "Listen. If Margaret can escape through that Pathway you talked about, why can't we?"

  "You don't understand. It's too dangerous. It won't take us to Earth anyway—even if it did, we wouldn't know how to get there. We don't know anything about it. Look at Raf—he knows about it, and he's still afraid of it, even after all this time."

  "Then we're prisoners."

  Sarah nodded.

  "We can keep Margaret here,” he whispered, leaning closer to her. “We can help Raf make sure she doesn't go."

  "Oh, no."

  "He wouldn't have any reason for keeping us then. She can't stand up to all of us. Why not?"

  "I said that to Margaret before,” she replied. “I wish I hadn't. Don't you understand how cruel that would be? We can't do that to her, she's waited too long for her chance. It wouldn't be fair."

  "Who cares? What's Margaret to us?"

  "Another person. I would think that'd be enough."

  Gerard scowled. She could not tell what he was thinking. “Raf's playing with us,” she went on. “Don't you see that?"

  The wall behind Margaret brightened suddenly. Sarah looked up. An image of Raf appeared. Margaret climbed to her feet.

  "I see you are all present,” Raf said. “I hope you've had time to consider things. I would have been so unhappy to see you leave so soon. I'm sure that's what Margaret had planned for you. I'm going to open your door soon. Margaret, you don't have much time. I'll meet you all in the Pathway chamber, I'm sure you can find your way.” The image disappeared.

  Gerard clutched Sarah's shoulder. “We can still keep her from leaving,” he said.

  "She was going to help us. Do you want to do that to her?"

  He sighed. “No, I guess I don't."

  Margaret was watching them. She was very still. Sarah crossed the room to her. “You'll have to lead the way,” she said to the other woman. “We'd probably get lost. We'll see you off, we'll say good-bye."

  Margaret gazed at her mutely.

  Margaret opened the door to the large room, and led them inside.

  Raf was waiting for them. Sarah looked for the disks at the far end of the room, and could not see them. The chamber seemed smaller. Raf raised a hand.

  "You have put down the shield,” Margaret said. “You will not let me through."

  Raf shrugged. “Just a safety measure. I should have put it down before, so that our guests wouldn't injure themselves.” He held out his right hand; he was wearing a slender bracelet on his wrist. “You can unlock it, of course. You'll have to go find your own controls, and circumvent this lock, but you can do that. In the meantime, of course, your alien friend may go on without you."

  "You cannot do this, Raf."

  "But I can."

  Margaret looked like a bewildered child. She folded her hands and held them to her chest. Raf shifted his eyes to Sarah. “I'm helping you, my dear. Without Margaret, you shan't get home. I might take you back myself, if I know she's still here, but I am not willing to stay here alone
."

  Margaret's mouth twisted. “I have something to tell you,” she said. “Pay heed. If you stop me now, I shall depart at some other time, even if I must go to a place where I am not known, even if it means a greater risk. Do you understand me?"

  The tall man laughed. His laughter was sharp, without cheer. “I don't believe you, Margaret. You fear death too much for that. You came to me on Earth long ago because of your fear. Have you forgotten? You'll take a calculated risk, but not a reckless one, I think."

  "Let me go, Raf."

  He crouched. “You can fight me. That's another way out. But I think I can beat you. Then I'll take your memory away. How does that sound?"

  Margaret stepped to her right. She was suddenly throwing herself at Raf. His left arm went out and hit her on the side of the head, knocking her across the floor. She rose and aimed a drop kick at his torso. He fell, rolled, and reached for her, flinging her against the shield. She crumpled to the floor, moaning.

  Mr. Epstein grunted. Gerard was running toward the tall man before Sarah could stop him. He grabbed Raf's left arm. Raf twisted away. His right arm moved. Gerard abruptly doubled over. Sarah strode to him and held him.

  Margaret said, “Let me go, Raf."

  He watched her with his large eyes as she got to her feet. “I know you, Raf,” she went on. “I have had many years to know you. You have done cruel things, but I know you are not a cruel man. Your soul can be reached. You have watched the Earth for so long that you have become despairing and angry. Unable to punish those who rise and then fall away, you punish those whom you bring here. And you punish yourself. You see your own failure mirrored in the failures of people, and you deny your own humanity."

  A muscle in Raf's cheek was twitching. Sarah looked at his hands, and thought she saw them quiver.

  "You punished me when I chose to remain here. But now I want to go on, as the others you brought here chose to go. You could have stopped them, too, but in the end you did not. You will let me go because, in your soul, you know I should, and that you should as well. You will let me go, and punish yourself for your fear by letting me go."

  Raf was very still. Then he pressed his bracelet. The wall slid up and disappeared into the high ceiling. Margaret moved toward the disks.

  Raf held out both hands, palms up. “Wait. It is not that simple, Margaret. I want to test you one more time. See these others I have brought here? They are my hostages. I promise you that, if you leave, they will bear the punishment you should have received. Consider that before you go."

  Margaret hesitated.

  "Think about that. If you stay, you can help them. I won't interfere. But if you go, you abandon them to me."

  Sarah heard a hum. The hooded alien appeared. He uncoiled a jointless arm, holding it out to Margaret. She glanced at the alien, then back to Raf. The alien waited.

  Margaret's mouth worked. She pressed her lips together. Sarah watched her helplessly. She and Gerard might be able to stop her, but she could not bring herself to move.

  "Raf,” Margaret cried. “Come with us. You have been here too long. Join our search.” Sarah saw that the woman had forgotten them. “Come with us."

  Raf walked toward her, his struggle showing on his face. He held out his hands.

  "Join us,” Margaret pleaded. “We shall leave the route for you, and you can follow."

  "I can't.” Raf staggered and almost fell. “I can't."

  Margaret spun around quickly. The alien stepped on a disk, and disappeared. Margaret looked back. For a moment, her eyes met Sarah's. Then she stepped on the disk and was gone.

  Raf ran to the disk. He teetered at its edge, then backed away. He stumbled toward them. “Margaret!” he cried.

  Fourteen

  The dispenser in their room offered them wine, bread, and beef stew for supper. Mr. Epstein removed the food and they served themselves, sprawling on the cushions while they ate.

  "At least he's not going to starve us,” the old man murmured. He sampled the stew. “He doesn't run a greasy spoon, either."

  Sarah was surprised to find that she was hungry. She gulped burgundy and devoured her bowl of stew, mopping up the gravy with a bit of bread.

  "Where do you think he went?” Gerard said.

  Sarah shrugged. “I don't know. He might be out on the surface again. He can't have gone far, Phobos isn't that large. On the other hand, maybe he went somewhere in one of those little spaceships of his."

  "We could look for him."

  "It might be dangerous, Gerry. We don't know our way; we'll get lost. We might find something as dangerous as those disks, we don't know anything about what's here."

  "We can't just give up."

  "We might have to. We can't get out of here without Raf's help, and he has no reason to help us right now."

  Gerard finished his stew, then set his bowl aside. He poured more wine. “We could find some string,” he said. “We could tie it to the door there and go looking and make sure we don't touch anything that looks funny. With the string, we could find our way back."

  "Where are we going to find string?"

  "We could unravel some of our clothing, then. Or we could use this bread, and drop bread crumbs behind us, like Hansel and Gretel."

  "I think Hansel and Gretel used drops of blood."

  Mr. Epstein looked up. “He'll probably come back for us sooner or later. He's alone now, we're his only companions. I've been thinking."

  Gerard propped his elbow against a cushion. “What?"

  "Just think. We could learn much, remaining here. He might extend out lives, as he did Margaret's. Isn't that something anyone would want? We could observe Earth with him. When you think of it that way, does it seem so bad?"

  "But look at him,” Sarah replied. “Look at what it's done to him. Look at how he treated Margaret. He told her he'd punish us somehow."

  Mr. Epstein ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe he was only trying to frighten her. I don't know.” He paused for a moment. “You two are young. You see your life ahead of you, and, against all probability, believe, deep down, that it will change, that if you get back, things will work out somehow. I'm old. I know what's waiting for me at home. Death, and a nice monument over my grave from my children. You think death is far away. I know it's not. If I stay here, I can evade it, at least for a while, until I'm ready for it."

  "Our lives are down there,” Sarah said. “You've had your life. We haven't."

  "And when I look back on it, Sarah, it doesn't seem to mean much. I've done what Nature made me for, I have reproduced and given my genes to my children and grandchildren. I'm not necessary now. Here, perhaps I can go on to something else. Raf will want to keep us alive for our company, won't he? You can look on your presence here as a gift, or as a curse. It's all a matter of your perspective, isn't it?"

  "It's your fault,” she said. “You wanted to come."

  "You didn't have to come along.” He sighed. “I'm tired.” The old man rose and pushed two cushions together, then stretched out. “I wish I knew how to turn off those lights,” he murmured as he pulled his coat over his head.

  Sarah put the dishes in the wall slot, leaving the bread in a bowl on the floor. Gerard got up and retreated to a corner. Sarah arranged some cushions, and stretched out beside him.

  "I was right,” he said. “We should have tried to stop Margaret. When it came right down to it, she didn't exactly help us."

  "You tried to stop Raf from hurting her."

  "Yeah, I know. Dumb of me, wasn't it?"

  "No."

  "I probably lost my job by now,” he muttered. “Rob might have covered for me, or he might have seen a chance to grab my job. It's funny, I've known him for a while, but I don't know what he'll do."

  Sarah turned on her side. “It all seems so far away."

  "It is far away. Do you think we should stay here, Sarah?"

  "God, Gerry, we aren't exactly free to choose."

  "We can choose how we feel about it.�
� He pillowed his head on his arm. “Would you stay if I stayed? Or would you go home with me, assuming Raf would take us?"

  "Maybe I'd do what you wanted."

  "Goddamn it, Sarah, don't put it all on me."

  She watched him. Gerard, removed from Earth, without the familiar things that defined him—his job, his friends, his routines and habits—seemed a stranger. She wondered if she was becoming a stranger to him. “What do you want, Gerry?"

  "I won't tell you. Tell me what you'd want to do."

  "I see. You want me to decide for you, though you'd never admit it.” He did not reply. “I think I want to go home,” she went on. “I know that there isn't much to go home to. Raf says we're declining, but he could be wrong. I guess I'd go back even if you stayed."

  "Epstein could be right, you know."

  "Maybe for himself. Not for me."

  Gerard rolled onto his back and threw an arm over his forehead. “Why wouldn't it be right for you to stay?"

  "I don't know if I can put it well. We're part of Earth. What right do we have to be exempt from what happens there? Raf must feel that way himself, that he's cut off and can't do anything about what's happening there."

  "I don't see your point.” He lowered his arm and turned his head toward her.

  "The point is that we belong on Earth, that we have to be part of whatever happens."

  Gerard frowned. “Maybe that's just your excuse. You want to run home and hide and forget this ever happened."

  "Maybe we could do something, Gerry. Maybe we could change things somehow."

  "That's ridiculous."

  "Why?"

  "Look at Raf. He knows more than we can imagine, and he's watched without being able to do a thing."

  "That's just it,” she responded. “He's watched. He hasn't lived there, and he's only gone back during the difficult times. Maybe he should have stayed."

  Gerard snorted. “Sure. He might have been killed. That wouldn't have accomplished much. I assume he can be killed. He's not invulnerable, is he?"