Sinful Purity (Sinful Series)

by K. A. Standen

  “Hell, yeah!” Kelly screamed. Mother Superior glowered. “Sorry, Sister, it slipped. Last time, I promise. I’ll be an angel if you let me see Brett.” Kelly made a gesture like she was crossing her heart.

  “Well, I seriously doubt that. But do try, child. Do try,” Mother Superior remarked, motioning for the other sisters to follow her into MIQ’s front entrance.

  As soon as Sister Christine left, Kelly couldn’t contain herself. “Oh, wow. Wow! Do you know what this means? Jail break!” she exalted.

  “It’s not like you’re escaping, Keebler. You will have to come back sometime. And that’s if the sisters even allow you to leave.”

  “I know, I know. But there’s still a chance I get out of here for at least a few hours. Back to civilization! Civilization, baby.” Kelly danced around, grabbing my arms and twirling me in circles.

  I had never seen Kelly so happy. She usually perked up a little on Wednesdays when we went to church, although she viewed the trip as more of a convict’s work release program than an actual spiritual outing. Nevertheless, she was always pleased to be on the other side of the gates.

  Kelly didn’t mind adoption day, either, unlike me. To her it was an occasion to meet new people. Any chance to talk to “outsiders” was a welcome one to her. She loved telling the unsuspecting families about “lock down,” as she called it. To her we were always on lock down, another one of her prison analogies.

  Knowing that Brett was coming to visit made me very excited also. I had never met him before, but he always sent such nice things. I had talked to him on the phone a couple of times when Kelly put me on so I could thank him for the books and other contraband he’d sent. He seemed nice and Kelly adored him. Plus I never had any visitors, so this was my way of living vicariously.

  For the first time since I’d come to Mary Immaculate Queen, I looked around. I mean I really looked at it. I could see why Kelly thought it was a prison. It did look like one, albeit very historical and gothic. The building itself was gray, very gray. In fact, everything was gray: the front façade, the concrete, and the large statue of the Virgin Mary that stood to the left of the double doors marking the entrance. Even the bell tower and the two small planters that ringed the only trees in the yard were gray. The only things more depressing than the monochromatic surroundings were the large, oppressive black gates. They had to be at least twenty feet tall, forged out of spiraling wrought iron. The gates gave way to the menacing fence of the same design that enclosed all of MIQ’s property. Wouldn’t you know, between each section of iron fence were large cement and cinder-block pillars, all of them gray. In one of her penitentiary-related rants, Kelly had avowed that even the bell tower and the nuns were representative. The bell tower, she said, was like a prison’s lookout post where guards were prepared to shoot at moment’s notice any inmate who got too rowdy. The sisters roaming the courtyard were prison guards maintaining order. As I took it all in, the surroundings that had been my world for the last ten years, I wondered what Brett would think.

  All week long, Brett was all Kelly could talk about. I found the topic a welcome change from the regular doom and gloom and sarcasm that was normally Kelly. I could tell she was really happy.

  “You’re gonna love Brett. Just love him. I love him and you love me. So you’re gonna love him,” she boomed.

  “By association?” I teased.

  “Right! By association,” she laughed. “You know, Brett can drive now. He just turned sixteen.”

  “I didn’t know that, Kell. That’s great.” The timeline seemed about right to me. I had never really given it any thought before, but Kelly and I were fourteen, so it made sense that Brett would be sixteen.

  “Hey, Kelly. If Brett is only two years older than you, why did he get to live on his own while you were forced to come here?”

  “Brett doesn’t live on his own. He’s at a boarding school over in Gary, Indiana.”

  “He’s driving all the way from Indiana to come see you?” I squawked, amazed.

  “Seriously? Elizabeth, you need to get out more. Gary is only like thirty miles away. It takes probably forty-five minutes to get here, maybe less. Yeah, definitely less. I haven’t seen how my brother drives. But I am sure it’s fast!”

  “Okay, so it’s not that far. You still didn’t answer my question.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Stop avoiding,” I demanded.

  “Fine. Brett’s school is an all-boys school. When our parents died, he was just old enough to make the cut. So he got to go there and have a life. I, on the other hand, being a girl, was destined to be locked up by Sister Sledge until I’m eighteen or until Brett turns nineteen and can petition for legal guardianship.”

  “But why here? Not that I’m not really thankful you’re here. I just don’t understand why.”

  “There aren’t any girls’ schools like Brett’s around here. I wanted to stay close to him. So this is what our family lawyer worked out. End of extremely fascinating story.”

  You could always tell when Kelly was done with a conversation. Believe me, when she was done, she was done. There was no exploring that topic again, at least not until she brought it up. That was okay. Brett would be here in a few days. I’d just have to wait to see what I could get him to tell me.

  Brotherly Love

  When Saturday came around, Kelly was a bundle of nerves. She was even more fidgety than usual. If you knew her, you’d know that being more restless was nearly impossible. Most days she was like a six-year-old all hopped up on soda and junk food after a kids-only birthday party. Today, with Brett’s impending visit looming like a carnival prize over Kelly’s head, she was even worse. She vibrated around like she was waiting for her next saccharine hit, the one that would send her into her long-awaited sugar coma.

  Brett finally arrived around two thirty in the afternoon. He rode up to the front gates of the orphanage, where he coolly dismounted his jet-black motorcycle. He casually swung his leg over the bike, firmly planting it on the previously dreary, lifeless cement. As he pulled off his matching black helmet, I gasped. I think I actually gasped. He was gorgeous. Brett’s dark hair glistened in the sunlight. His mouth was formed into a large smile, displaying the cutest dimple just so. As he glided up to the gate, it was like watching perfection in motion. The plaid button-down shirt he was wearing was rolled up at the sleeves and left open in front. Underneath there was just a hint of his muscular chest and strong stomach beneath the fitted white t-shirt.

  I had never been that into guys, at least not the way Kelly was. But this was different. Brett was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.

  Kelly ran up to the gate behind Sister Christine to let him in.

  “Brett! Brett!” she screamed as she ran past me. Sister Christine gave a warning glance and then wordlessly welcomed Brett and motioned for him to enter.

  “Hey, little sis. Seems like it’s been forever!” he exclaimed as he picked Kelly up in the biggest bear hug. He twirled her around a couple of times for good measure. Now I knew where she’d gotten her enthusiasm.

  “I can’t believe it, Brett. I can’t believe you’re really here.”

  “Believe it. Believe it. I am here in the flesh to spend the rest of the day with you. My one and only sister.”

  “Oh my gosh, I almost forgot. This is my bestest friend in the whole world. Brett, meet Elizabeth.”

  “Hey, slugger. It’s nice to meet you. I hear you have a pretty mean left hook.” Brett’s voice was deep but incredibly smooth. He could have been one of those voice-over guys on TV. A tingle ran through my whole body and I began to blush.

  “Look at what you’ve done, Brett. Now you’ve embarrassed her. Good going,” Kelly scolded as she punched Brett in his well-defined shoulder.

  It was true. I was embarrassed, but I was pretty sure that Kelly’s and my one and only fight had nothing to do with it.

  “Oh, you know about that, huh?” I squeaked.

  “I know about
it, all right. I think I know about everything you two do. You’re all Kelly talks about.”

  “Well, I am really sorry about that. I shouldn’t have attacked her.”

  “Ah, shut up, you two,” Kelly interrupted. “That was months ago. I don’t even know why you brought it up anyway, Brett.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” he agreed. “But it was as funny as hell. I’d love to have seen it. My pipsqueak sister getting her mouth shut.” He smirked and gave a little wink in my direction.

  My knees got weak. All I could think was please don’t fall down, not now. I imagined collapsing in front of him, convulsing with embarrassment. I would surely die from the mortification. How could I explain something like that? Brett returned to talking to Kelly and thankfully never noticed my awkwardness. I had never met anyone like him. The power he had over me was inexplicable. I had met him only minutes ago, and I already had a colossal crush on him. If my attraction continued at this rate, I would be a psycho stalker by dinnertime. This was going to be a long day.

  As Kelly had feared, Sister Christine would not let her and Brett go anywhere. They were forced to make the best of the day trapped behind the iron gates of MIQ. Kelly talked the whole time, scarcely leaving a vacant second for Brett or I to say anything except the obligatory “uh huh” or “yeah.” I think once Brett was able to get out “you don’t say.”

  Kelly was in full tour-guide mode by the time she brought Brett up to our room. We showed him all the loot he had sent us over the years, safely tucked under a loose floorboard between the two beds. I remember how proud of ourselves we had been when we had found the cubbyhole. I was pretty sure that the nook had probably been used decades prior to safeguard a previous occupant’s own personal treasures. It seemed presumptive to think that with the age of the building, we would have been the first ones clever enough to find the well-protected void. However, Kelly vehemently assured me we were pioneers.

  As Brett perused our personal time capsule, he looked at the dog-eared copies of the books he had sent. “So you’re the avid reader. I couldn’t imagine my sister reading anything of literary merit. She’s more of a checkout-line tabloid kind of girl.”

  “What can I say? I love my adulterous scandals and alien abductions,” Kelly responded, unscathed.

  “Well, next time, Liz, I’ll bring you something special,” Brett promised.

  I couldn’t believe it. Next time. Would there be a next time? There had to be. He told me there would be. My heart fluttered at the thought. Brett would come back and when he did he was going to bring me “something special.” I was so happy I could have split in two. No one had ever given me a gift, especially no one like Brett.

  “Hey, Liz, you okay?” Brett asked.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I just spaced out for a second. Something special would be great. But don’t go to any trouble. I really love the things you have already sent.”

  “Look, sweetheart,” Brett said. “I have never seen books beg for retirement like these poor guys. Half the pages aren’t even glued to the binding anymore. And don’t get me started on the covers.”

  My concentration had trailed off after he called me sweetheart. I felt ridiculous. I was his sister’s best friend and so much younger than he was. I was sure he was always this smooth with girls. It was just his charm, and it was like a faucet stuck in the on position. Disarmingly charming all the time, that was Brett. Maybe he didn’t know how to turn it on and off. All I knew was it wasn’t me he cared about. It couldn’t be.

  “What can I say, it gets pretty boring here,” I muttered.

  “Don’t listen to her, Brett. She’s always running around with her nose stuck in a book. Even on the rare occasion that there is something better to do, still—nose in a book,” Kelly ridiculed.

  “Hey, now. You could use a little more time in a book yourself, Miss Busybody,” Brett defended. Then there it was again, the sly wink. God, I loved when he winked at me. Granted, it had only been twice. I was still pretty sure I would like it just as much if it had been a hundred times. It was like we had our own private little secret.

  Seven o’clock came so quickly. It seemed like Brett had just gotten there, yet it was already time for him to go. I stayed behind in the courtyard while Kelly walked him to the gate. I figured they’d want some time together to say their goodbyes. After all, they had let me hang out with them all day. I watched Kelly in the distance as she stood on her tiptoes and hugged her brother one last time. Brett then climbed atop his motorcycle and sped off into the night. As Kelly walked back through the courtyard, the light caught the wet tracks the tears had left down each of her cheeks. I could see them even from a distance. As she walked closer, I turned around as if distracted by something behind me, giving her time to wipe the remnants from her face. When I turned back around, I could see the pools of tears brimming in her eyes, waiting for any sudden movement so they could break forth, overflowing. I never said a word. I just squeezed her arm as we walked silently, heading to dinner.

  It was over a month before Brett came to visit again, but had called and spoke to Kelly regularly. He just never had the time to make the drive back out, not with school. Partly I think it was just too hard for him to see his sister in a place like this. After all, he had a beautiful private dorm room at a prestigious school. For him it was like being on a permanent vacation. There were sports, recreational activities, regular fieldtrips, and socials, all for his enjoyment. The schoolwork, while demanding, was also very rewarding. Kelly had none of that, and he knew it. I think the idea of having to spend time at MIQ was even more depressing to Brett than it was to us, and we lived there.

  Nevertheless, Brett kept his promise, and the last Saturday in November he once again rode up in front of the big black gates of Mary Immaculate Queen.

  “What’s up, Marilyn?” Brett asked as he effortlessly strolled through the gates.

  “That’s not my name,” I said, trying to hide my disappointment that he had completely forgotten my name.

  “What! You mean you’re not Marilyn Monroe?” Brett asked with mock innocence.

  “I’m not even blonde, Brett.”

  “Ease up there, Liz. I was just joking. Anyway, that’s what peroxide is for.” He laughed as he gave me one of his infamous winks.

  “Oh. I’m sorry. I guess I’m just not used to it.”

  “What, attention?”

  “Yeah, that too,” I replied.

  “So where’s my sister?”

  “She’s in the infirmary. She’s okay. She just had some weird reaction to something during church this week. Sister Christine said she thinks it’s just an allergic reaction.”

  “My sister, allergic to church. I can believe it.” Brett laughed.

  “Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, the sisters are keeping an eye on her just in case it happens again.”

  “Well, do I get to see her, or should I spend the whole day lavishing you with more attention?”

  “Oh, yeah. I mean…uh, no. I mean…I’ll show you the way,” I stuttered nervously.

  Brett and I walked up the tall, wood-lined flight of stairs leading to the infirmary. Walking alone with him through the secluded passage made my pulse quicken and my cheeks flush. I could feel each cell in my body become alert with anticipation at the remote chance that our skin might touch. Just an innocent brush of his arm against mine as we turned the corner would undeniably make my life complete. At this moment Brett was all I could think about, all I could see. He wholly infatuated me in every sense of the word. His every gesture held me in rapture. Like a spelunker gazing upon the intense life-giving sun after weeks of existing only in the murky depths of the caverns, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his bright, beautiful face. I felt like I was alive for the first time in my life.

  “Aaaaaah,” I shrieked suddenly, breaking the serenity of the moment and my fixated gaze. I had tripped and gone flying headfirst onto the landing in front of Brett. I had been so absorbed by his presence that I had completely fo
rgotten the loose step, third from the top. I was so humiliated, then stunned as I realized I hadn’t hit the floor. Brett had caught me in his arms, my face firmly pressed against his muscular chest.

  “Whoa, there. Are you okay?” Brett asked as he held me close to his warm, firm body.

  “I’m fine, really, I’m fine!” I proclaimed, jumping up and out of his arms, more than a little embarrassed.

  “I know you miss my sister. But we don’t need you in the infirmary too. Anyway, I thought you didn’t want any more attention,” Brett joked, feeling my shame.

  “What can I say? That third step is a doozy.”

  “You know, Liz, you can fall into my arms anytime. You don’t have to pretend to hurt yourself.”

  “I wasn’t pretending! I tripped. Honestly, I completely forgot about that step and tripped. I would never…”

  “All right, all right, calm down. I was just kidding. We need to get you a sense of humor, and soon,” Brett interjected. “How have you ever managed to survive my sister if you can’t even kid with me? I’m just a lightweight compared to Kelly and her biting sarcasm.”

  “I have a mean left hook, remember?” I laughed, proud of the quick wit I had just uncovered.

  “Well, all right. There’s a live one in you after all.” Brett smirked as he shot me one of his renowned winks.

  I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. Brett crisis averted, at least for now. As we opened the door to the infirmary, we saw Kelly lying in the third bed, next to the window overlooking the courtyard.

  “What was all the ruckus out there?” she demanded.

  “I was just getting to know your friend a little better, Kell,” Brett teased.

  “Oh, yeah?” Kelly inquired scornfully.

  “Yup, I think we know each other real well now. Wouldn’t you say, Liz?” He turned to me with a smirk.

  I nodded, thinking that Brett and I finally had our own little secret. My mind drifted again back to how it had felt to be in his arms, safe and warm. It was like a haven. I kept replaying the moment over and over, wishing it could happen again. This time without the whole nearly-crashing-to-the-floor part.