Sinful Purity (Sinful Series)

by K. A. Standen

  “Good morning,” I said, walking down the stairs.

  “Morning, my dear,” Mr. Bartlett greeted. “I see you’re still making my son sleep on the couch.” His face was expressionless. I didn’t know what to make of it.

  “Um, yes, sir. I mean Paul.”

  “Why? What did he do?” Nathan called from the other room.

  “Aw, he probably got too rough with her,” Josh asserted. “Started smacking her around, pulling her hair. We saw him slap her on the butt last night.”

  “Dude, you’ve got issues,” Zack countered.

  “Issues? I’ve got so many issues, I have my own subscription.” Josh cackled wildly.

  The next thing I knew, everyone was laughing uncontrollably—everyone except me, that is. Even Zack’s dad was laughing, although he was trying to contain it. “I’m sorry, my dear. We’re just not used to having someone so…what’s the word?”

  “Old-fashioned?” I asked self-consciously.

  “I think the word you’re searching for, Dad, is parochial,” Zack said, adding a little jab of his own. Even though he smiled, I could tell he meant every word.

  “Ah, parochial. That works,” agreed Mr. Bartlett.

  “Oh,” I replied nervously, looking down and wishing I would disappear.

  “Look, my dear. If you’re acting according to your own beliefs, then that’s fine. My son should be respectful of your values. But don’t do it on our account. It doesn’t matter to us one iota. We like you because we like you.”

  “Anyway, it’s not like Zack would have drug you all the way out here to Maine if you weren’t messing around,” Nathan pointed out.

  “Thanks a lot,” I retorted sarcastically.

  “It’s just that we know you guys aren’t study partners,” Patrick laughed.

  “Et tù, Patrick?” I said with a sideways smile. Even my shy, kind Patrick was out for blood and betrayal this morning. But I knew they didn’t mean anything by it. They were just trying to make me feel comfortable in their own peculiar way.

  “All right, that’s enough,” Zack said. “If she wants to banish me to the sofa, then so be it. I love her and I’d sleep on a bed of nails if she asked me.” Zack swept me up in his arms and tipped me back, kissing me like we were in an old black-and-white movie.

  “Ugh, you don’t have to be so theatrical. We get it, you like the girl,” complained Josh.

  With that, laughter broke out through the house again, this time with me laughing along. A few minutes later they all packed up to leave for work. Zack told me he was going to go with them to the mill and help out for a few hours. He said he’d be back by lunchtime. He kissed me goodbye in front of all the prying and mocking eyes and then left. I decided to head back upstairs to sleep for a couple more hours. I was still very tired.

  After nine o’clock I got back up, took a shower, and got dressed. I saw how much Mr. Bartlett and the boys enjoyed the house being fixed up, so today I started by washing and ironing all the dingy and neglected curtains. Having them bright, clean, and pressed made a huge difference. I couldn’t believe how much more light they let in. In Maine, I’d learned, the days were very short and sunlight was a precious commodity. I wanted the Bartletts to have as much of it as they could. I decided to wash the inside windows too as an extra measure. I finished my cleaning duties with the front parlor, which was where I’d left off yesterday.

  I was going to clean the boys’ rooms but decided against it. Their rooms were their own private spaces. I didn’t want to invade their privacy. I had only been in the house not quite three whole days and I already knew that privacy and personal space was in short supply. I couldn’t image prying into what little privacy they did have.

  After tidying up, I went back to Zack’s room. It was Wednesday already, and my week away with him was nearly half over. It had gone by so quickly. I didn’t want to have to go back so soon. I wondered how Caleb was doing with my excuses. Surely Monsignor and Mother had discovered I was gone by now. Especially with today being Wednesday, they would know I wasn’t at confession or at evening services. I couldn’t imagine an excuse Caleb could devise that would permit me to miss weekly Mass.

  Weekly Mass—that’s right, I’d be missing it. I had never missed a week of Mass in my life, not even when Father Brennigan alienated me. I still showed up every week, forgiven or not. When I packed for my trip, I had taken this into consideration. I figured that I might not be able to find a Catholic church close by, or if I did, Zack might not take me. So I’d packed my Bible just in case. I couldn’t imagine that God would hold a grudge if I still prayed and held my own private service. I dug through my duffle bag and found my small, worn brown leather Bible. This Bible was one of the first things given to me when I’d arrived at Mary Immaculate Queen back when I was just four. The sisters issued us a Bible, rosary, dress uniform, athletic sweats, nightshirt, and a pencil and notebook set. Those were our personal belongings.

  I picked up the tattered book and opened it, trying to find a suitable page. Out fell a folded square of paper. I bent over and picked up the lost stationery. As soon as I held it in my hand, it became shockingly familiar to me. This was the paper that Brett had slid in my pant pocket last year before he left, the day we broke into Mother Superior’s office. I carefully unfolded it. It was a blank adoption contract for MIQ, just as I remembered Brett telling me. I had never thought it was very important before because I was never to be adopted. Now, as I sat there holding it in my hands, I thought of Caleb, not Brett. I recalled Caleb telling me about the guitarist in Taylor’s band, Caleb’s supposed cousin. Caleb had said something about weird provisions in the contract.

  My mind raced. Could I be holding that contract? Would I find somewhere within its pages the answers I sought, the explanations for all of MIQ’s and St. Matthew’s oddities? I quickly perused the document, looking for anything that immediately stood out. To my disappointment, I found nothing. The whole thing just looked to be a bunch of legal jargon, except for an odd little two-paragraph insert on the back page. But I couldn’t decipher what it said. The whole thing was in Latin. I was so disappointed. Could that brief addition be the loyalty clause Caleb had spoken of? There wouldn’t be a better way to hide such a thing than in plain sight and written in a dead language. I needed to find a translator or an Internet connection. That wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, though, not out here in the woods. I would have to wait until we went into town.

  I couldn’t decide if I should tell Zack or not. He always hated my “conspiracy theories.” I used to laugh when he said it. If he thought I was obsessed, he should have seen Kelly. I did have to admit that my search for the truth had been consuming me as of late. I didn’t like the idea of not telling Zack. If he loved me and we were to be married, then we shouldn’t have any secrets. But I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a fight on my holiday, either. Once again I would let fate decide. I would decide when the occasion presented itself.

  “Liz, honey?” I heard Zack’s voice from downstairs.

  “I’m up in your bedroom,” I called.

  “Hey, there you are.” Zack greeted me with a smile. “I’ve missed you.” He leaned down and kissed me with more feeling than I’d expected.

  “I missed you too. How was the mill?”

  “It was good. We finished an entire load, so it looks like we get to take tomorrow off to go fishing. Like we talked about last night at dinner.” Zack seemed eager.

  “That’s wonderful. Do your dad and all your brothers get to go too?”

  “Yes, and you. If you would like to go.”

  “That’s sweet, but it really sounded like more of a guys’ trip.”

  “Are you sure? We’d love to have you, and the bass fishing on the Androscoggin is incredible. I bet you’d really enjoy it,” Zack urged with a smile, sweetening the deal.

  “Really, I’ll be fine here. You and your family should go and have a good time.”

  “Liz, I can’t just leave you here. I’d fe
el awful.”

  “Oh, Zack. Honestly, I would feel awful if I had to be on a boat all day. My stomach hasn’t been my best friend lately. I don’t want to be throwing up all day, making your dad and brothers suspicious.” I smiled, rubbing my belly.

  “We could always tell them,” Zack encouraged with a grin and a hopeful, melodic tone.

  “Not yet.” I matched his tone and harmony with a smirk. “Anyway, it’ll give me a chance to explore the town. Downtown looked so inviting.”

  Zack gave in with a smile. “All right, but I’m going to miss you horribly.”

  “Good. That means you’ll be even happier to see me when you get back.” I leaned up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss.

  “I’m going to go take a shower,” Zack announced.

  “Oh, good. Because you stink,” I laughed.

  Zack grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into him. “You two could come with me,” he offered tenderly rubbing my belly.

  My heart fluttered and skipped a beat. How I loved Zack! All my dreams were coming true. He was going to be a great dad and husband. The thought of us being a family made me weak in the knees.

  “I’m right behind you!” I cried, running up behind him and slapping him on the butt this time.

  Even though Zack and I had been dating for over six months and spent practically every night together, we’d never showered together. The dorm’s showers weren’t exactly what you’d call private. So this was a whole new experience. I soaped him up, lingering over his strong broad shoulders and muscular, well-defined chest. I gently rubbed my hands up and down his powerful upper arms. I could feel how much I wanted him, needed him. Zack was slower, more gentle. He tenderly washed by back and caressed my neck. He looked at me so lovingly, his eyes filled with wonder.

  “I love you, Liz. You’re my everything.” Zack’s words were tender and he sounded a little choked up.

  “I love you too, silly.” I leaned into him and kissed him, happier than ever.

  “No, I mean it. I can’t believe how much I love you. I didn’t know I could care about someone this much.” The truth and emotion behind his words stunned me.

  “I knew you could. You’re a very kind, caring, and loving man.” I kissed up his neck and across his cheek, ending with his full and ardent lips.

  “What about sexy?” Zack inquired playfully, quickly drying himself off with a towel.

  “Without a doubt, sexy is one of your more prominent qualities.” I smiled flirtatiously and let out a diminutive laugh.

  That one little word was all Zack needed to hear. He grabbed the other towel, hastily wrapped me in it, and picked me up in his arms, carrying me to the bedroom. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tightly. Once we were back in his room, he set me down lightly on the bed. That was when I completely let go of his neck, and my will.

  After a while I drifted off to sleep as Zack traced little shapes on my stomach with his finger. A little while later, I woke to him caressing the side of my face with his hand.

  “Liz. Liz, my dad’s going to be back soon. You should probably get dressed.” His voice was low and soft, trying to coax me gently from my slumber.

  “Oh!” I said, sitting up with a start.

  “It’s okay, relax. They’re not here yet,” Zack assured, putting his hand on my shoulder to keep me from jumping to my feet.

  “Okay, I’m fine,” I calmed as Zack released his grip.

  Zack was already fully dressed with his hair perfectly groomed as if he was ready for a photo shoot. I, on the other hand, looked like a wet dog that had slept funny on one side of its fur. I threw my clothes back on and brushed through my tangled mess of dark hair until it began to appear smooth and sane. I was just finishing applying some mascara and lip gloss when the behemoth of a logging truck rumbled through the trees and groaned to a stop in front of the house.

  I ran downstairs and found Zack sitting on the sofa, watching TV and thumbing through a sports magazine.

  “They’re early. I haven’t fixed anything to eat,” I said, panicked.

  “Liz, that’s okay. Tonight we’re celebrating. We’re going out on the town.”

  “What are we celebrating?” I asked skeptically.

  “Don’t worry, it’s not what you’re thinking. We are celebrating a large and profitable load. Remember, that’s why we’re going fishing tomorrow.”

  “Right. I remember.” I smiled, relieved that I wasn’t being ambushed.

  Mr. Bartlett and the boys all filed in the door, one after the other. They stomped their boots loudly and continued their conversations as they entered. This group couldn’t sneak up on anyone.

  “Well, hello, you two,” Mr. Bartlett greeted.

  I returned the greeting with a quick smile. “Hi.”

  “Hey, bro. You look well rested,” observed Nathan with an impish grim. I knew what he was thinking.

  “A little too rested, if you get my drift,” Josh commented, saying exactly what I was sure Nate had been thinking.

  “Leave the kids alone. They had a right to enjoy some time together,” ordered Mr. Bartlett, unknowingly stoking the fire even more.

  “Oh, I’m sure they enjoyed it,” Josh jabbed again, soliciting a round of laughter from Patrick and Nathan.

  “I’m going to go wash up.” Mr. Bartlett left the room, determined not to be a part of the razzing.

  “Enough. Liz is shy,” Zack warned, fighting back a guilty grin.

  “Oh, don’t give us that. She’s not that shy,” Nathan continued.

  “Yeah, maybe you’re the shy one,” Josh teased.

  Patrick joined in. “Are you modest, Zack?”

  I walked into the kitchen to get away from the ribbing. I could tell it was going to be a while. Several minutes and a few crashes and thuds later, Zack found me sitting at the kitchen table drinking my water.

  “Hey, so you ready?” he asked.

  “Yeah, where are we going?”

  “Well, you and I are spending an evening out, alone. My dad and brothers are heading down to the sports bar to grab some grub and a couple of beers.”

  “That sounds fun.” I grabbed him and kissed him at the thought of an evening by ourselves.

  Zack and I climbed into the big black dually and drove into town, then out of town.

  “Where are we going? Wasn’t that Bethel?” I asked, confused.

  “It’s a surprise. You’ll see in a few minutes.”

  About thirty minutes later we pulled up to a beautiful marina. There were lights up and down the floating walkways that cast a magical yellow glow. A distance off, I could see a small building, brightly lit and full of cheer. The sounds of laughter and conversation carried over the water, ensnaring my interest.

  “Are we going there?” I inquired eagerly as I pointed to the lively restaurant.

  “Yep, that’s it.” Zack’s brevity told me there was something more in store.

  “Are you going to tell me where we are?” I asked impatiently.

  “This is the marina at Kezar Lake. Tell me if anything seems familiar.”

  As we approached the eatery, I remembered the shrimp shack along the highway that Zack had taken me to on our first date. He’d said it reminded him of home. This was why. The marina restaurant was small and quaint, much like everything else I had seen so far. Happy, laughing, jovial people lined every wall and table, filling the atmosphere with merriment. The menu was filled with Zack’s seafood favorites. The dining room was inviting but less private than Zack wanted. So we ordered a fisherman’s platter from the to-go window, along with a couple of sodas.

  “All right, you ready? Follow me,” Zack instructed, grabbing our order from the counter.

  We walked back out to the dually. Zack reached behind the seat and pulled out a thick woolen plaid blanket and handed it to me. He then shut the door and gestured with a tilt of his head and a smile to follow him again. My curiosity was torturing me by the time we reached a small pebbly beach at the side of the
marina. The lights from the boat walkways and the restaurant created a dim glow. Along with the bright moonlight, the whole beach shone with illumination. There we sat, just the two of us, our alone time. We talked and nibbled on the delicious fresh seafood and then talked some more, pausing intermittently for a kiss or to snuggle closer to each other. Sitting on our personal piece of pebbled paradise, my life was perfect. Zack and I watched the lights dance off the ripples in the water. We reclined on the blanket and gazed up at the bright, clear, starlit sky. I felt completely, one hundred percent at peace. Contentment rushed over my body and mind like the waves lapping on the shore. If ever in my life I had doubted God’s plan or path for me, this was not that moment. Lying there with Zack, my whole purpose was clear.

  The next morning, I woke later than usual. It was half past ten and the entire house was empty. There next to my bed was a note and a set of keys.

  Liz,

  I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful. We took off to go fishing. We’ll be back later. Hope you have a good time in town. Be careful.

  I love you.

  Zack

  P.S. I had a great time last night!

  I got dressed and grabbed a handful of leftover blueberries from the kitchen. This whole pregnancy thing had me starving all the time. I took the keys Zack had left me from my pocket and started to lock the front door when I remembered.

  The contract. The whole purpose of my trip into town was to decipher the foreign gibberish on the adoption contract. I ran upstairs and grabbed the well-creased text from its hiding place. A moment later I was back down the stairs and out the door.

  I jumped in the enormous and intimidating black dually and carefully maneuvered it around until it was pointing straight down the gravel drive.