Fuzzy Logic

by Susan C. Daffron

  “I’m fine. How’s library life?”

  “Great. I worked on research all day, which is my favorite thing to do.”

  “Did you learn anything good?”

  “Oh yes. I got lost in stories about the Miller family. They were one of the original settlers here.”

  Michael cleared his throat. “So, I’m calling to let you know about my dad. I don’t think your mother is going to tell you.”

  “Is he okay? Did something happen? He didn’t have an accident or something, did he?” What had her mother done now?

  “No, he’s fine.” Michael paused. “But I’m pretty sure the marriage isn’t going to work out.”

  Jan bowed her head and put her hand over her face. Not again. How did her mother manage to destroy marriages so quickly? “But we cleaned the house. That was supposed to fix their problem with living together. What did my mother do?”

  “It’s not really anything she did. It’s who she is.”

  “Did the New-Age stuff finally get to him?” Jan rubbed her eyes. That would figure. “I know it drives me nuts. I definitely could see that driving him away. He’s so much more down-to-earth and plainspoken than she is.”

  “No. It’s because she’s a woman.”

  Jan dropped her hand to her side and straightened. “What?”

  “Well, I was talking to my dad and he was telling me that your mom has been trying to deal with the root of his chakra problems. She thinks his energy is blocked and brought over crystals. I guess she brought some stone that influences the sacral chakra.”

  Jan paused to think for a second. “Wait a minute. That’s the chakra that affects sexuality and procreation. And pleasure. Is this about sex? Please, please say no. I really don’t want to talk to my mother about that.”

  “Do you think it was fun talking to my dad about it?” Michael said in an amused tone. “I mean we had to have the birds and the bees talk when I was thirteen. That was enough for me.”

  “So, I’m guessing their sex life is not good?”

  “After last week, I’d say ours is probably a whole lot better.”

  Jan was glad he couldn’t see her blush. “I can’t argue with that. But what did he say?”

  “Well, it’s not what he said exactly. It’s what he didn’t say. I think he might be gay.”

  “What? Gay as in he prefers men?”

  “It would explain a lot.”

  “Did he tell you this? Did he come out to you?”

  “Not exactly in so many words. I should have stayed longer, but the conversation was so awkward, I couldn’t stand it anymore and I left. I ran over there with Swoosie to have breakfast like I always do. I feel a little bad, since my dad has never said anything like this to me before. I think he really needed someone to talk to, but it was too weird. I was thinking about my mother and...I don’t want to go into all that. But it was strange, so Swoosie and I left.”

  “Telling someone you’re gay is a pretty big deal. You are such a chicken.”

  “Hey, you’re one to talk. You’re the one who doesn’t want to talk about sex crystals with your mother.”

  “You’re right. Sorry. Is he going to discuss this with my mom?”

  “I’m not sure. Mostly I thought you should know. From what you’ve said, it sounds like failed marriages are nothing new with her, but I think this time the problems with their relationship are not her fault.”

  Jan smiled. “If this is true, we cleaned that sandy house for nothing. And killed Evette’s fine machine.”

  Michael chuckled. “I’m sure she has had the fine machine fixed by now. But some things you can’t control. Or fix. I think this situation may count as one of them.”

  “Should I try to talk to my mom? I know I don’t want to. And if your dad really is gay, he needs to tell her. But maybe I should find out if she’s okay.”

  “That’s up to you. I also wanted to let you know that I have to come back up to Alpine Grove next weekend to do some more shooting for the commercial. We need some background, establishing shots of the area. We spent so much time dealing with the actor and horse problems that we ran out of time to do them.”

  “Maybe I can return the favor and show you the sights of Alpine Grove.”

  “I think that would take all of about ten minutes. But I would like to see you.”

  “That would be great.” Jan said, trying to modulate her voice so she didn’t sound like a love-starved teenager. “I’ll be here. So will Rosa.”

  “I should go. But good luck talking to your mom. I’ll see you soon.”

  As Jan hung up the phone, she closed her eyes. She had really wanted to invite him to stay here at her house. But he wasn’t the only one who was a big chicken.

  For the rest of the evening, Jan debated calling her mother. But what would she say? “So, I hear your sex life with the Toilet King isn’t so good.” Ugh. No way.

  In the end, she decided to put off any call until tomorrow. Or the next day. Maybe if she had some time to process the information, she could think of something to say that wasn’t utterly stupid.

  Two days later after much deliberation, she had a plan. Instead of talking, she’d just listen. Yes, Mom was hard to understand, but maybe she’d let Jan know what was going on in her own oblique way. And then Jan could at least try to be supportive of what was going on. Whatever that might be.

  She picked up the phone and dialed Bruce’s house. Her mother picked up the phone.

  “Hi Mom. I’m just calling to see how everything is going.”

  “It’s lovely to hear from you, dear. I’m fine, but I’m about to go out to an astrology class. Did you need something?”

  Jan paused, desperate for something to say. “Not really. I just wanted to see how things were going with Bruce now that the house is clean.” Sheesh. That was lame. Maybe mom wouldn’t notice.

  “The energy in the house is much better. But Bruce’s energy is not good. His root chakra is blocked. I think it is causing dysfunction in areas of his body because the energy is not flowing properly.”

  Uh-oh. Jan wasn’t sure she wanted to hear about those areas. “Um, that doesn’t sound good. I hope he’s not sick.”

  “No dear, it’s not a sickness. His sexual drive is not what it should be. The human sex drive is strong. With a man like him, it should be a powerful energy. But it isn’t.”

  Jan cringed inwardly. She so, so didn’t want to hear any of this. “Oh, uh, well, that doesn’t sound good, either.”

  “I’m sure it’s not me. My heart is united with my sexuality and I am a passionate person. I need to have both love and sex in abundance. Fortunately, I have rose quartz, garnet, and other crystals to help stimulate the creative expression of love.”

  “Well, um, I hope the, uh, stimulation works out. You always say crystals are...um...powerful.”

  “You were spending a lot of time with Michael when you were here. I assume you spent time in the bedroom, too. How is he sexually? Perhaps there is a hereditary dysfunction. I can give you some crystals if you need help.”

  “Fine, mom. Michael is fine. No hereditary...anything.” Help! She was not going to talk about sex with Michael with her mother. No. Way.

  “Sex should be more than just fine, dear. I hope you know that. Perhaps you are just missing Steve. You were together for a long time, after all. Is everything okay? You sound nervous.”

  “Yes. I’m great. It’s all great. Really, everything is just fine. But I should go...I...I have to feed Rosa. She’s hungry.”

  “Give her a big hug from me. She’s such a sweet girl.”

  Jan hung up the phone and sank down on the sofa. She had a lot more sympathy for the conversation Michael must have had with his father. If she never talked about Bruce’s chakras and sex drive with her mother again, it would be too soon.

  Jan stood at the counter at the library checking out a book for a patron. She smiled as Michael walked through the door, the outline of his broad shoulders silhouetted in the lat
e afternoon sunlight. He met her gaze with a flash of recognition and warmth in his brown eyes that made her heart beat faster.

  After handing the book to the woman, Jan leaned forward, putting her elbows on the counter as Michael walked up. “Welcome back to the Alpine Grove library. How did the commercial go?”

  Michael leaned across the counter so his face was only inches from hers. “It was much easier without the horse.”

  The warmth of his skin so close brought back a number of thrilling memories, but Jan didn’t move. She looked into his dark eyes and said, “So many things are.”

  Michael moved his hand to touch her arm and Jan gasped slightly as her skin tingled from the contact. He said, “So how have you been?”

  Without shifting her gaze from his eyes, she said. “Good. How about you?” Jan moved her hand to stroke his forearm. He started slightly at her touch and smiled.

  A loud cough echoed across the high ceiling of the library. “Ahem. You two need to get a room. But first I need to check out this book.”

  Jan jumped back from the counter. She could feel the heat on her cheeks and knew her face must be flaming red. Oops. “Sorry, Mr. Grumbacher. I didn’t see you there.”

  “Well that’s obvious. I need to get this book for my wife.”

  Jan looked down at the cover. “Hmm, Sex Can Keep You Slim.” She opened the back cover to pull the card out of the pocket, so she could stamp the due date. “It’s certainly a popular title. I hope she enjoys it. Well, and you too. Anyway, the book is due back in a month. Thank you.”

  The short, grizzled older man took the book and tucked it under his arm. “I don’t think a month will be enough, but it will have to do.”

  Michael grinned. “More proof that the library has something for everybody. So are you ready to get out of here? You’re supposed to show me the sights of Alpine Grove, remember?”

  “Yes. Mr. Grumbacher was the last person here. Sometimes people hide out back there in the 600s because it’s the medical section and they don’t want other people to see what they’re looking up. I just need to get Rosa from the back and lock up.”

  Rosa toddled out of the office after Jan and went over to Michael. He bent down to pet her head. “Hi Rosa. How have you been?” Rosa wagged, and having completed her social obligation, followed Jan toward the door.

  Jan turned toward Michael, “Is it okay if we stop by my house? I need to feed Rosa. She takes dinnertime quite seriously.”

  “I can see that. Sure, I’ll just follow you. I’m in the tiny, silver rent-a-car thing that looks like a demented roller skate.”

  Jan pulled up in front of her cottage with the roller skate not far behind. She let Rosa out of the back seat and waited for Michael. He unfolded himself from the compact car and joined her at the front door of the little yellow house.

  “Welcome to my humble abode.”

  Michael smiled as he walked through the door and looked around the entry area and kitchen. “I note you have cooking utensils and even apples sitting out on your counter. Apparently, your dog is not a world-champion counter surfer like mine.”

  “No, Rosa is mellow by comparison.” Jan patted the dog’s head. “Aren’t you, Rosa?” Panting, Rosa wagged because there was talk of food. “Make yourself at home. Do you want something to drink?”

  Michael leaned on the kitchen counter and put his hands in his pockets. “No thanks.”

  Jan moved around the kitchen getting Rosa’s food together as Michael and Rosa looked on. Bending to put the bowl on the floor, Jan said, “Here you go.” Rosa rushed over and began gobbling.

  Jan stood, turned around, and found Michael standing right in front of her. Uncomfortably close. She smiled. “Hi.”

  Taking half a step forward, he enveloped her body in an embrace and bent down to kiss her, pausing to murmur “Hi” before pressing his lips to hers. Jan ran her hands across the muscles on his back, enjoying the familiar contours. All of the tension and anxiety of the last week left her body and she reveled in the sensation of being in his arms again.

  Oblivious to the groping going on above her, Rosa belched loudly. Pausing to come up for air, Jan said into Michael’s ear. “You seem to have a thing for kitchens.”

  He nuzzled her neck, sending a tingle down her spine. “Don’t you think kitchens are erotic?”

  “I do now. Although in the past, I mostly used mine for cooking.”

  Michael trailed his fingertips from her neck down the side of her body. “Mmm, you can cook?” The feel of his breath against her ear was making her crazy. And whatever he was doing with his hands wasn’t bad either.

  “Yes,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck in an effort to avoid collapsing on the floor in a molten puddle. He was way, way too good at this. “Are you hungry?”

  “Yes. You haven’t noticed?” He nibbled on her earlobe for emphasis.

  “I mean for food.” If he didn’t stop that, they were going to end up tearing each other’s clothes off within the next three minutes.

  Michael’s hands roamed under her shirt. “That too.”

  Jan pulled away. “You’re going to have to stop for a second because this is my last shred of willpower. It’s your last chance. I know you had a long day, so do you want me to make dinner?”

  Michael smiled. “You weren’t kidding? You really can cook?”

  “I like to eat and my mother didn’t cook much of anything. As Julia Child pointed out, ‘no one is born a great cook, one learns by doing.’ So yes, I can cook. It was that or eat nothing but those nasty instant ramen noodles.”

  “Yuck. I hate that stuff. Plus, real cooks quote Julia Child. You must be good.”

  Jan straightened her blouse. “Also, I wanted to talk to you since you seem...interested again. I thought you might be angry with me about what happened at the vet.” She looked down at the floor. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see you again. I thought I might be another one of your one-night stands.”

  Annoyance flickered in Michael’s eyes. He turned and walked over to the sofa, sat down next to Rosa, and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Is this going to be a ‘relationship’ conversation? Because I’m not a big fan of those.”

  Jan’s eyes widened. “Do we have a relationship? We spent time together in San Diego, but I still don’t know you very well.”

  “You know some things about me pretty well,” he said with a half smile.

  “Well, yes. But I was wondering what happened the other day. You seemed upset. I thought you might be angry with me for dropping my hair elastic.”

  Michael shook his head. “I thought my dog might die and it was because I wasn’t paying attention. You know exactly why I wasn’t paying attention. I felt guilty. And I hate going to the vet. I don’t like doctors much, either. Oh, and hospitals. Those are the worst.”

  “You weren’t angry at me?”

  Michael leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. “No. I told you. Swoosie is her own worst enemy. I love that stupid dog, but she drives me insane. Right now, I’m here with you, but in the back of my mind I’m worried about her eating something at doggie boot camp, even though I’ve given them 39 instructions on what she can and can’t have and do.”

  Jan smiled, pushed Rosa aside, and sat down next to him on the sofa. She put her hand on his arm. “That’s so sweet.”

  He turned to her and pushed her hair back, exposing her neck. “I notice you left your hair down for a change.”

  “I’m trying out a new look.”

  “I like it,” he said, then bent his head toward her neck to give a particular spot behind her ear some attention.

  Jan jumped up off the sofa. “Stop! You know what that does to me. I’m going to make dinner now.”

  Michael smiled, “You’re no fun.”

  “I’ll be more fun later.”

  “I’m counting on it.”

  The next morning, Michael rolled over in bed. As his fingertips grazed her cheek, Jan opened her
eyes. He smiled and said, “This is a lot nicer than the H12 motel.”

  “I haven’t stayed there, but from what I hear it wouldn’t be difficult to top the ambiance.” She leaned over to kiss him. “You look relaxed.”

  “It has been stressful at work, and it’s nice to be away from it.”

  Jan smiled. “Health experts say that sex helps you sleep and handle stress better. I’m glad I could help.” She propped her head up on her hand and looked down into his eyes. “I thought you liked the excitement of ad-land. Did something happen related to the audit?”

  “I’m not sure. There are some things that don’t make sense. I know my boss Derek can’t be involved. He just wouldn’t do that. I had to get information together for the audit. I’m not an accountant, but when I look at the numbers, stuff is missing. And let’s just say the IRS auditor noticed too.”

  Jan shifted to see his face more clearly. “Do you mean you think he’s embezzling?”

  “That’s what the audit seems to show. But no. There’s just no way he’d do that. This guy has been my mentor for years. And a friend. I’ve always kidded around, saying that when I grow up I want to be just like him. I can’t imagine him stealing from the company.”

  Jan sat up and put her arms around her knees. “Have you talked to him about it?”

  “Not really. Everyone else at the office is talking about it with each other, but at this point it’s all rumors. I don’t think anyone has the guts to confront him.”

  “But you looked at the audit, right? Shouldn’t you address it with him? Particularly if you’re friends. Maybe there’s an explanation.”

  Michael pulled her back down on top of him and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re stressing me out again. I think I need to relax.”

  Jan bent her head to kiss him. She stroked the stubble on his cheek, “Watch out. You could end up with wild neurotransmitters like dopamine skipping around all over your body, making you so relaxed you can’t move.”

  “That sounds like fun. I’m willing to take that risk.”

  Later after feeding Rosa breakfast, they decided to take the dog out for a hike. They drove to a parking area near a trail that led to a water fall.