Fuzzy Logic

by Susan C. Daffron

  The dogs came running and collided with one another trying to get at both bowls.

  “What’s that noise?” Jan said.

  Michael shouted, “No!” startling both dogs away from the food. He shoved them aside, reached down and picked up the bowls. “Rosa is growling I think.”

  “Wow, I’ve never heard her growl.” Jan looked down at her dog. “I didn’t think she knew how.”

  “I think we may need to approach canine feeding time in a more organized way. Does Rosa know how the sit command?”

  “Sort of.” When she felt like it.

  Michael walked across the kitchen. “Swoosie, come.” Swoosie bounded after him, bunched up her furry body, and spun in a circle. “Swoosie, sit.” The dog settled her rear on the floor and smiled up at Michael proudly. He gave her a morsel of dog food. “Good girl. Stay.”

  He handed a food bowl to Jan. “Take this one over to that far corner of the kitchen. Make Rosa sit. Don’t let her get up until you say the magic word.”

  Jan did as instructed. Rosa sat and stared at Jan, looking horrified that she wasn’t getting her food. She turned to Michael. “Wait. What’s the magic word?”

  “It starts with ‘o’ and ends with ‘k’ or technically, if you spell it out, the word ends in a ‘y.’ Either way, the word indicates agreement.” Michael said, glancing at Jan to make sure she understood. “Here’s the plan. We put the food bowls down in front of the dogs. They sit until we say the magic word. Then they eat. When they are done, we pick up the bowls and make them sit again until we say the magic word again.”

  “I think Rosa is going to faint with hunger over here. She’s drooling all over my foot. That’s gross, Rosa.”

  “Go for it,” Michael said, and put Swoosie’s food bowl down in front of her. The dog stared at the bowl, anticipating the big moment when she could eat.

  Jan had to convince Rosa that diving nose-down into the food bowl wasn’t going to happen until she said so. After Rosa seemed to have the idea, Jan said “Okay.”

  Swoosie and Rosa launched to their bowls and snorfled their food eagerly. After thoroughly cleaning out her bowl, Swoosie sat and stared up at Michael expectantly. When Rosa finished, she tried to wander off to go check out Swoosie’s bowl, but Jan put her back in her corner and told her to sit again. Rosa sat, looking offended. Even though it involved food, she was not convinced that this game was any fun at all.

  Jan said, “Okay!” Swoosie leaped up and ran over to the sofa. The dog jumped up on the couch, spun around, and settled in for a post-breakfast nap. Rosa looked confused and slowly wandered over to her dog bed, glancing back at Jan.

  Jan looked at Michael. “I think my dog hates me now.”

  “Don’t worry, she’ll forgive you. Feeding her again will help. The last thing you want is dogs fighting over food. And by not letting them eat until you say so, you are showing them who is in charge.”

  “I think it’s too late for that. Rosa already knows I’m a pushover.”

  Michael smiled. “You’ve never owned a challenging dog, have you? You think Swoosie is bad now? Believe me, she was worse. She’s one of those dogs who is always testing you to see what she can get away with.”

  “I think Rosa takes a simpler, more single-minded approach to life. As far as I can tell, mostly she seems to think about food.” Jan pointed at the dogs. “At least they seem to get along, for the most part. They’re just sitting there looking sleepy.”

  Michael walked over to Jan and reached out to touch her cheek. “I’m not sleepy for a change. Sorry I wasn’t much fun last night.”

  Jan put her arms around his neck. “You seem quite a bit more lively today. Sleep has many health benefits, you know.”

  “I was thinking about exploring more of the health benefits of sex you mentioned the last time I saw you.”

  Jan giggled. “I guess you are feeling better. Perhaps we should leave the dogs to their napping, then.”

  Michael grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the bedroom. Jan uttered a little shriek of laughter as they flopped down on the bed. She reached under his t-shirt, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin again, but there were way too many articles of clothing in the way. Then most of the clothes were on the floor and everything was a blur of sensation.

  A loud tearing noise came from the living room. Jan paused in mid-kiss and pulled her head away from Michael. “What was that?”

  He grabbed the nape of her neck pulling her back to him. “Who cares?”

  There was another shredding noise and Jan rolled over and sat up. “Your dog is doing something bad.”

  “How do you know it’s my dog?”

  “Because it’s always your dog.”

  Michael sighed heavily and threw his legs over the side of the bed. “I’d be annoyed if that weren’t so true. I’ll go see.”

  Jan pulled the sheet up over her body and sat up to admire the view of Michael walking out of the bedroom. Nice.

  He shouted, “No! Bad dog!” and Rosa came rushing into the bedroom with a piece of paper hanging out of her mouth. She scuttled under the bed.

  Jan heard Michael tell Swoosie to go to her bed. He put her in her crate and the gate clanged shut. He stomped back into the bedroom and crawled back into bed, drawing Jan into his embrace. “What was the last thing you were you reading when you were sitting on the sofa?”

  Jan rolled over and peered under the bed to look at Rosa. She said over her shoulder, “Some mystery novel I got from work.”

  “Not any more. The dogs ate it.”

  She looked back at Rosa’s eyes under the bed. “Oh Rosa, you too?” Rosa dropped the incriminating page of text from her mouth.

  Michael leaned back on the pillow and put his arm under his head. “Apparently your dog has a taste for literature now.”

  “Given how much time she spends at the library, that could be a problem. I think your dog is a bad influence.”

  “I have no doubt about that.”

  Michael pulled her toward him again. “Where were we?”

  Jan bent her head to kiss him and the phone rang. “I think this idea may be doomed.”

  She got up to answer the phone and looked back at Michael, who was grinning. “At least there’s a nice view,” he said. Rosa scurried out from under the bed to follow her.

  As she walked through the area, Jan surveyed the disaster in the living room. It looked like her library book had been run through a paper-shredding machine that had subsequently exploded. Sighing, she picked up the receiver on the kitchen phone. Her mother’s voice greeted her.

  “Hi Mom. How is everything going?”

  “Quite well, dear. I wanted to talk to you and Michael. His father said he might be there. I’m sorry to call so early. Are you having sex?”

  “Mom! Really!” But she was naked. And cranky because she was missing out on sex. Not to mention getting cold. “I don’t want to talk to you about that.”

  “But Michael is there, isn’t he?”

  Jan wrapped her arm around her waist. Brr. “Yes, he is. Do you need to talk to him?”

  “Not specifically. I want to invite both of you to a family celebration on Tuesday evening.”

  Jan sighed. “Do you know how much work I’ve missed lately? The other librarian here is getting grumpy about filling in for me.”

  “Things in life don’t always happen on a timetable, dear. It’s important to surrender to the mysteries and uncertainties of life. You need to be in the moment. Bruce needs to heal an element of his life and I want to help him celebrate the transition.”

  “Getting paid is more challenging when you’re living in the moment. Libraries have timetables.”

  “Don’t be rigid, dear. Please talk to Michael, too. Or ask him to call Bruce. I think it would be good if he talked to his father.”

  “I’ll talk to Michael about this, but I think he has some things going on at work, too.”

  “Please make an effort, dear. You need to be in a place of cele
bration.”

  “Okay, Mom.”

  Jan hung up the phone and scampered back to the warmth of the bed. “Fall is definitely in the air. It’s freezing out there. And it looks like a paper tiger threw up in the living room.”

  Michael snuggled up to her and began nuzzling her neck. “Clothes would help, although I have to say I prefer the nudist look.”

  She maneuvered away from him. “Sorry to kill the mood, but this involves you, too. My mother wants us to go to a family celebration on Tuesday.”

  “Tuesday? I have to work.”

  “So do I. I guess it’s at night. After work. But in San Diego, so it’s not exactly convenient for me.”

  Michael sat up. “You could ride back with me and Swoosie tomorrow.” He grinned. “Road trip!”

  Jan groaned. “Why is this reminding me of the movie Animal House?”

  Michael reached over and tickled her ribs. “To-ga! To-ga!”

  Jan convulsed with laughter and squirmed to get away from him. She grabbed his wrist and tried to wrestle it away from the ticklish part of her tummy. He flipped her over and silenced her laughter with a crushing kiss. Moving his lips against hers, he murmured. “So where were we?”

  Chapter 10

  Deadlines

  Sunday morning, Jan sat next to Michael as they bumped down the driveway toward Kat’s house. Rosa and Swoosie were in the back.

  Jan had made sure not to feed Rosa this time and the dog was looking somewhat less nauseated than usual about the bumpy ride. “Please don’t throw up, Rosa. It’s a long way to San Diego, and we have to spend a lot of time in this car.”

  Rosa wagged and stepped on Swoosie, who looked nonplussed about sharing her travel space with a black dog that felt compelled to endlessly wander back and forth across the back seat.

  Michael looked at Jan. “This place isn’t exactly convenient, is it?”

  “No, but Kat has been really nice about taking Rosa on short notice. She doesn’t really have a dog boarding kennel yet; they’re building it in the spring, so she just lets Rosa stay in the house. It’s sweet that she treats Rosa like one of her own dogs.”

  Michael pulled the car up under a tree and Jan hustled to get Rosa out of the back. “Swoosie, you stay here. We’ll be right back.”

  Kat opened the door and walked down the front steps of the house toward the car. “Hi Jan. How’s my buddy Rosa?”

  Michael got out of the car and Jan waved toward him. “Kat this is my...friend...or step-brother, I guess, Michael.”

  Kat reached out to shake his hand. “Hi. I’m Kat. And I’m really happy to see that Rosa is clean. Thank goodness. It’s getting colder and I was hoping to avoid another bath.”

  “Don’t you have heat?” Jan said. “I hope so.”

  “Yes, but there were issues with bathtime that involved some outside time.” Kat waved her hands in front of her. “Never mind. You really don’t want to know. But I think we’re going to have to build a grooming area, too.”

  “Jan said you’re starting a boarding kennel,” Michael said. “What are you going to call it?”

  A distressed look crossed Kat’s face. “I don’t know. It’s part of the marketing plan I’m supposed to be writing, but am not. How do you write a plan about a business that has no name?”

  Michael nodded. “That is a stumbling block.”

  “You have no idea,” Kat said. “I think I’m developing a complex about marketing.”

  “Marketing isn’t so bad,” Michael said. “It’s just explaining what you have that people need. In your case, you have a solution to a big problem: no one to take care of the family dog.”

  Kat waved her arms in a gesture of frustration. “You make it sound so easy! But I start trying to write things down and it all sounds stupid. I’m a technical writer. Or I was. All my writing was about facts. Verifiable facts. When I write about marketing stuff, I feel like I’m making things up. Or trying to foist something on people like some creepy used-car salesman.”

  Jan giggled, “It could be worse. At least you’re not wearing a blue jumpsuit and selling toilets.”

  Kat looked confused. “What?”

  “Jan’s step-father aka my father is the Toilet King,” Michael explained. “If you lived in San Diego during a certain time period, you would have seen him in a lot of rather memorable local TV commercials.”

  Kat grinned. “Oh yeah; I heard about that when Jan told us about the wedding. That sounds like it was the best wedding ever! I wish I’d seen it. My friend Maria still talks about it.” She looked over at the car. “Wait! Is that the dancing dog? The Samoyed who wears ruffles?”

  “Yes, that’s Swoosie,” Michael said. “She’s got a long ride ahead of her.”

  Kat clasped her hands together. “I know you’ve got to go, but can I meet her? She’s so cute!”

  Jan rolled her eyes and glanced at Michael. Really? Did every woman have a thing for furry white dogs?

  “Sure, let me go get her,” Michael said. He went to the car and clipped a leash on Swoosie, who eagerly leaped out onto the gravel driveway.

  Kat crouched down and cuddled Swoosie’s soft white fur. “You are adorable.” She looked up at Michael. “Can you make her dance? Maria will never forgive me if I don’t ask.”

  Michael smiled. “Okay. Just for a minute. Swoosie, come.” He showed the dog a treat and then gave her a hand signal. She stood up on her hind legs and took a few steps forward. Michael took a few steps back and she followed him. He took one of her front paws and moved around her. Then he told her to bow and then to sit. Finally, he gave her the treat. Swoosie wagged and looked pleased with herself.

  “That was awesome!” Kat said as she bent to pet Swoosie again and congratulate her. “Thank you so much.”

  “We should really get on the road,” Jan said. “I hope this is the last time I have to leave Rosa with you for a while. I’ve seen my mother more in the last few weeks than I have in a long time. All these trips are getting ridiculous. At least a one-way flight will be a little less expensive.”

  “I should put Swoosie back in the car,” Michael said. “It was nice to meet you, Kat.”

  Jan handed Rosa’s leash to Kat. “I’ll see you in a couple of days.” She bent down to pet Rosa. “You be good.”

  Kat took the leash. “We’ll be fine. Tell Michael I’ll work on coming up with a name for this place. Drive safely!”

  Jan walked back to the car and got in. She turned to Michael. “I still can’t believe I’m doing this. It’s the story of my life. I have to drop everything to do what my mother asks. But what else can I do? She’s my mother.”

  “Well, I had to drive back anyway.” He leaned over to kiss her, and then started the engine. “Even though it’s a long drive, I’m glad I came up here.”

  Jan smiled. “So am I. And I’m glad we get to spend more time together. It seems like I’m always saying goodbye to you.”

  “Or hello.” Michael looked thoughtful for a moment. “That reminds me; there are a bunch of CDs in the center console. It’s a long drive. How about some Beatles for this magical mystery tour?”

  Jan smiled, “That album was released in 1967.”

  “Groovy. Just so you know, I am not the walrus.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Kat brought Rosa inside and found Joel in the kitchen eating another snack sandwich. Rosa sidled up to him, looking hungry. He looked down at the dog. “I see Rosa has returned.”

  “Yup. I think Jan is getting tired of travel. But I can see why your sister had so much to say about Michael. The guy is gorgeous.”

  Joel smiled slightly. “Really?”

  “Not that I noticed or anything. Because I am blind to the attractiveness of other men since I met you.”

  Joel just stared at her and continued to chew slowly.

  “Okay, I lied. I noticed. But given the way he kissed Jan in the car I think he’s taken.” Kat fanned her face with her hands. “It was hot.”

&nb
sp; Joel grinned. “I think you’ve been spending too much time with Maria.”

  “He did point out something about my marketing problem. I think I’ve been looking at it the wrong way. I need to figure out what people need, not focus on what I’m selling. And come up with a name for the boarding kennel. When I was talking to him I realized that part of the reason I can’t write about the business is because I don’t know what it’s called.”

  “What are you going to name it?”

  Kat’s shoulders slumped. “I have no idea. I haven’t come up with anything. Could you help me think of something?”

  “Maybe later. I have to go up on the roof now.”

  “How is the roof process going? It’s getting cold. Ice on the roof would be bad for your vertical stability and long-term health.”

  “I’m almost done. Having to do it piecemeal, so you don’t have a roofless house, has taken longer than I thought it would. It’s been a tedious process. I’m looking forward to more time at ground level.”

  Kat wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her cheek on his chest. “Me too. I’m glad you’re almost done. You know that it freaks me out having you wandering around up there.”

  Joel put his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. “I know. Today should be the last day. Then tomorrow all the ropes and pulleys come down.”

  “It was an engineering marvel. It’s the end of an era.”

  Joel squeezed her more tightly and then let her go. “Yes. The leaky-roof era. See you later.”

  Kat went downstairs to her computer and turned it on. She was supposed to be writing a magazine article about using design-software templates. Getting free software to play around with for the article was fun, but she was getting nowhere with the article itself. She sat and stared at the screen, waiting for inspiration to strike. Nothing. Her mind was blank. Where’s a fairy godmother when you need one? Wait a minute.

  She typed:

  The computer screen is blank and so is the expression on your face. You’re wishing the document would just magically appear on the screen with all of its margins, column widths, fonts, and styles already set up. If you don’t have a fairy godmother hanging around to rescue you from a situation like this, you might try template software instead.