Rocking Perfection

by Cassandra Lawson

  Thoughts of my growing feelings were at the forefront of my mind the entire drive to his home. We didn’t live that far apart, so it only took me fifteen minutes to get there. I could hear the shouting on my way from the car to his front porch, and I wasn’t sure he’d even hear the bell.

  My mouth dropped open when Xander answered the door. Strapped to his chest was a baby carrier. There was a little boy with brown hair and deep green eyes clinging to his calf as he rode on his foot. Another little boy with blond hair and blue eyes shouted as he raced forward and wrapped his arms around Xander from behind.

  I covered my mouth and giggled.

  “Don’t laugh at me, babe,” Xander warned. “I could easily convince them you’re part of this game.”

  “She’s not a baby, Uncle Xan,” the little boy on Xander’s foot said with a laugh. He was likely three or four years old.

  “Uncle Xan?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

  “Yeah,” Xander replied, gesturing for me to enter the house. “These are my nephews.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me your sister was visiting from Los Angeles?” I asked. “I thought you said she was coming alone tomorrow.”

  “Her interview got rescheduled last minute, and she had to bring the boys with her,” he explained as I followed him to the kitchen. His nephew was still riding his foot.

  “You seem to have your hands full,” I remarked.

  “Yeah, they missed me almost as much as I missed them,” he replied.

  “Mommy says that Uncle Xan is not to hype us up under any circumstances,” the boy on his foot announced.

  Xander flashed me a sheepish grin. “I may have hyped them up a little.” The boy in the baby carrier let out a little cry. “Don’t worry, buddy. I’m going to get you fed. Cami’s here to help, so we should have lunch ready in no time.”

  Is there anything that can melt your heart faster than a man who loves kids? Seriously, not only did I feel my heart beat a little faster, I may have ovulated right there in Xander’s kitchen.

  “What do you need me to do?” I asked.

  “Can you make some grilled cheese sandwiches for the older boys?” he asked. “My sister also brought some fruits and veggies she wants them to eat before they have any sweets.”

  “Got it,” I said with a nod. “I’ll put those on the table.”

  “What?” He sounded as if I was speaking a different language. “I was going to say you should hide those in one of the drawers at the bottom so she won’t see that they didn’t get eaten.”

  The boys began jumping up and down as they chanted, “Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!”

  “You want me to help you give these boys junk food and skip the healthy food their mother packed?” I asked.

  “I promise that if they move up here, I’ll feed them healthy sometimes.” He flashed me a boyish grin. “I hardly ever get to spoil them since I moved.”

  “I’m surprised you agreed to move up here,” I remarked as I began prepping the sandwiches and pulling out the electric grill I’d talked Xander into buying.

  “It was best for the band,” he replied. “My waffles weren’t the only thing that made it hard to move. When I first got up here, I expected to fly back down more often. Even though I still make it down there every few weeks, it’s different from having my sister call to ask if I can babysit. I wasn’t even down there when Carter was born. I can’t really blame the move for that. He was born during the European tour.”

  “So, your sister may be moving up here?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he replied as he settled the youngest boy into a booster seat attached to one of his chairs. “Her wife mostly works from home, so she has no problem with the move. She only has a few out-of-town trips a year. She’s away until tonight, so my sister needed to bring the boys with her. My mom is also out of town, or she’d have watched the boys.”

  “So hungry,” the oldest boy said as he collapsed onto the floor with dramatic flair.

  “No cookies until after you’ve had a sandwich,” Xander told him in a no-nonsense tone, proving he was more than just the fun uncle who let his nephews have anything they wanted.

  “But I’m starving,” the boy continued as the middle boy dropped down onto the floor beside him with a moan.

  “Oh no!” I said with my hands on my cheeks. “These boys are starving. I’d better get them some vegetables.”

  Xander laughed. “You’re good at this. They don’t mind vegetables, but they always try to get more treats with me.” His eyes remained on the baby who he was feeding some mashed concoction. The baby seemed thrilled with his meal.

  “So, I take it the youngest is Carter,” I began as I put the sandwiches on the grill. “Who are these other handsome boys?”

  The oldest stood and pointed to his brother on the floor. “That’s James, and I’m Kaeden.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, James and Kaeden,” I said with a smile. “I promise to have these sandwiches ready in a flash. Not to sound conceited, but I happen to make the best grilled-cheese sandwiches in the entire world.”

  “The best in the entire world?” James asked with wide eyes. He was still lying on his back on the floor.

  “She’s telling the truth,” Xander replied. “Her sandwiches are amazing.”

  “I want two,” Kaeden announced.

  “I want five,” James shouted.

  Carter began waving his hands and shouting. “Fa fa fa!”

  “Sorry, buddy,” Xander said with a laugh as he scooped out another spoonful of baby food. “Your mama said you have to eat soft stuff a little longer. Maybe next time you visit, you’ll be ready for some of Cami’s cooking.”

  I finished getting lunch together, and the boys ate with gusto, Xander included.

  “Thanks, babe,” Xander said with a smile. “I appreciate the help.”

  “You should have called me,” I told him. “I would have loved to come over to help you babysit.”

  “Really?” he asked.

  “Really,” I replied. “You’re important to me.”

  Xander’s grin widened. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.”

  Nothing new had been said. I’d told Xander he was important to me before, told him how much his friendship meant to me. Still, this felt like more. Our eyes remained locked for just a moment before Xander’s nephews began begging for cookies. There was a time when I’d have considered it an escape from an uncomfortable talk about our feelings. Instead, I was disappointed by the interruption.

  Chapter 51

  Xander

  Watching my nephews was great, and having Cami with me made it even better. Carter was napping on Cami’s lap in the family room, while Kaeden and James watched a movie in the living room. As for me? I was leaning against the doorframe, watching Cami cuddle my nephew.

  “Are you just going to stand there?” she asked. “Or are you going to come in here and sit down?”

  “I’m enjoying watching you,” I admitted before laughing. “That sounded bad, didn’t it?”

  She smiled and shook her head. “I’m sure it would have under other circumstances, but in this case, it sounded sweet.”

  I moved into the room and took a seat close to Cami. “Is it because creepy looks good on me?”

  “That could be it,” she agreed with a quiet laugh. “I think it’s more that I have a good idea of what you’re thinking, and it’s not at all creepy.”

  “What am I thinking?” I asked.

  “That I’d make a good mother,” she replied after a beat of silence.

  “Why did you hesitate?” I asked.

  “It feels strange saying that,” she admitted. “That is what you were thinking, right?”

  I nodded. Why lie? “At the very least, you’d make a good aunt. That’s more important than the mother part right now.”

  “You aren’t sure you want kids?” she asked.

  “I want kids,” I replied. “They just aren’t essential to my happiness. I could see
myself marrying someone who didn’t want kids and just continuing to spoil my nephews. Do you want kids?”

  “Yes,” she replied without hesitation. “I’d like to have a couple of kids. There are times when I haven’t been sure I wanted to have kids, mostly when I start worrying about all the things that could go wrong.”

  “Because of your job?” I asked.

  She nodded. “There have been some patients with issues that made me wonder if I have what it takes to be a mom. It’s easy to say you can parent a child with no problems, but what happens when you have a suicidal child? I’m not just talking about teens. I’ve had young children who wanted to die and some who intentionally hurt others. As their therapist, I keep some emotional distance from it all, but I couldn’t do that as their mom.”

  I considered what she’d said before responding. “I guess most of us never even think that could happen. It’s not common, right?”

  “No, it’s not the norm,” she replied. “That’s what I remind myself of when I let those fears start to get to me. Besides, I already know I’ll love my children no matter what. Yes, there will be pain and sadness involved with parenting, regardless of any problems they may or may not have, but there will also be a lot of joy.”

  “I love you,” I blurted out. “Shit. I shouldn’t have said that now, not like this. I’m not trying to pressure you, but it’s the truth. I love you for who you are. This isn’t going to make things awkward, is it?”

  Cami smiled and reached out to put her hand on mine. “I love you, too.”

  “You do?” I asked. “Are you about to tell me you love me as a friend?”

  “No,” she replied with a laugh. “I do love you as a friend, but it’s becoming much more than that.”

  I grinned. “I guess this means I can call you my girlfriend now.”

  She nodded.

  “That’s good,” I told her. “My sister will be here soon, and I’m sure she’s already planning our wedding.”

  “Wedding?” she asked. “Because of our fake relationship? It’s real now, but it wasn’t before. You didn’t tell her it was fake, right? I didn’t tell my mom, so I understand why you wouldn’t tell your family.”

  “I told her, but she knows me really well,” I explained. “She picked up on how I feel about you.”

  The alarm on Cami’s phone interrupted us. “Unfortunately, I’ll have to meet her another time. I have two appointments tonight. Oh, that reminds me. I came over here to tell you that the police arrested someone for putting the oil on the stairs. It looks like it was supposed to be someone else who fell.”

  “That’s good news,” I told her. “I was worried about going on tour when someone might be targeting you. I had a private investigator look into Mitch, and he seems innocent, but I was still worried.”

  “You hired a private investigator?” She looked shocked.

  “I wasn’t taking any chances with your safety. I’ll fill you in on what I learned another time. There is some interesting stuff you might want to hear. Why don’t you hand me Carter so you can say goodbye to Kaeden and James?”

  Cami stood and handed Carter to me before going up on tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “Thank you for the wonderful day. Call me anytime you need help babysitting.”

  “Oh, you bet I will,” I assured her. “My nephews seem to be my good luck charms where you’re concerned.”

  Chapter 52

  Cami

  It had been an uneventful day, at least, it had until I walked out of my office to find Mitch standing in the hallway. His face lit up when he saw me.

  “You have no idea how much I’ve missed seeing your beautiful face,” he told me. “I heard they caught the guy responsible for your fall.”

  “How did you hear about that?” I asked.

  “I’ve been calling the police to follow-up on the case,” he replied. “When you fell on those stairs, it scared the hell out of me. The police also suspected me for a short time, and so did you.”

  His explanation made sense, but it still didn’t explain why Mitch was waiting for me outside my office at eight in the evening. “Why are you here?”

  Mitch frowned at my curt tone. “Are you angry at me?”

  I let out a frustrated sigh. “You can’t just show up at my office.”

  “Why?” he asked. “You know I didn’t put that oil on the stairs. I’m not your enemy. Maybe I shouldn’t have shown up, but after your last email, I got to thinking about how much I miss you. I miss us. Can we grab a cup of coffee?”

  I hadn’t had any communications with Mitch since he’d lost it over me calling the police on him, and I wasn’t sure how that conversation could have made him miss me. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I’m with Xander now, and I get the impression you’re still hoping for more than friendship with me.”

  “He’ll be gone for months,” Mitch argued. “We both know he’ll cheat on you when he’s on the road. It’s just what his type does.”

  “His type?” I asked. “What exactly is that supposed to mean?”

  “Don’t play dumb.” His condescending tone made me want to smack him. “He’s a rock star. Women throw themselves at him, and he’s not known for pushing those women away. If you stay with that guy, you’ll end up with a disease and a broken heart. You don’t want that kind of lifestyle.”

  “I’m not even sure where to begin with telling you how wrong you are,” I muttered. “First, Xander isn’t like that. Second, you don’t know me, Mitch. The whole time we were together, I was trying to be someone else to make you happy. It wasn’t fair to either of us.”

  “Why are you saying this?” He looked bewildered. “We can be happy together. Asking you for information about your patient was wrong. I get that. Sometimes, I get carried away with my career ambitions, but that’s part of the reason I’m so successful. You’re perfect for me. Let me show you how perfect we are for each other.”

  When he stepped closer, I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

  “Don’t touch me,” I snapped, swatting away his hand when he reached for me. “I’ve tried being nice, but you refuse to accept that things are over. I blocked your number, I don’t respond to your emails, and I’ve asked you to leave me alone. If you don’t stop harassing me, I’m going to get a restraining order.”

  “What are you talking about? Why are you suddenly talking about restraining orders? Are you playing games with me? Since when don’t you respond to my emails?”

  “Have you lost your mind?” I asked.

  “Me?” he asked. “You’ve practically been begging me to come after you, and now that I’m here, you’re pushing me away. You made it obvious that fear I’d put the oil on the stairs was the only thing holding you back. What the hell kind of game are you playing?”

  The elevator doors at the end of the hall opened, and I was relieved when a security guard stepped out. “Is there a problem?”

  “I’m just trying to leave. Can you walk me out?”

  “I’m not going to kidnap you on the way down,” Mitch scoffed. “What’s really going on, Cami?” He gestured down the hall. “Is this act all so you’ll look good on video for Xander Marsh?”

  Looking down the hall, I noticed there were a few people with phones out to record my conversation with Mitch. I took some deep breaths to get my temper under control.

  “I don’t care if Xander sees you harassing me,” I replied.

  Mitch let out a humorless bark of laughter. “Harassing you? Is that what you want to tell all these people?”

  “It’s the truth,” I insisted.

  “It’s a lie,” he spat out before turning his full attention to the people watching. “We’ve been emailing for two weeks. Two weeks, I’ve been listening to her talk about how she’s not sure she should stay with Xander Marsh.” His attention shifted back to me. “I wonder what the tabloids will pay for a story like this.” On those words, he stalked toward the elevator.

  Mitch had lost his mind.

&nb
sp; Chapter 53

  Xander

  Sometimes my obsession with social media comes in handy, like when I realized my girl needed rescuing after an unpleasant encounter with Mitch. A few people had live-streamed the argument, and now it was going viral. Cami wasn’t usually the type to freak out over attention related to the band, but it was different from what she normally dealt with. If fans had anything to say about her, it tended to be positive. After the videos went viral, there were still people defending her, but others had nothing nice to say.

  Before heading over to Cami’s, I responded to the social media frenzy. Madi was going to be pissed when she found out, but I couldn’t just let my girl’s name get dragged through the mud.

  I rang Cami’s bell and waited. She was home. I’d seen her car parked in her spot. It took so long for her to answer the door that I was about to call her. She peeked her head around the barely open door before gesturing for me to enter.

  Wearing only a pale green bath towel, she greeted me. “Hey. I guess you saw everything already.” When I nodded, she continued. “I should have called you. Sorry about that. You may find this hard to believe, but I didn’t even think about you finding out.”

  Taking two steps forward, I closed the distance between us and wrapped her in my arms. “You don’t need to apologize.” I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. “What the fuck is up with Mitch? After I got the report back from the investigator, I was certain he’d go away.”

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she said against my chest. “He was drinking, so maybe that’s part of the problem. Mitch never drank much when we were dating.”

  I needed to ask the next question, but I was worried it would come off the wrong way. “Have you talked to him since the last email I know about?”

  Cami pulled away from me and scowled. Her hands reached up to hold her towel in place. “What are you getting at, Xander? Do you think I’ve been cheating on you with Mitch? Do you honestly think that little of me?”