She knew it was because that’s the way God had led her, and she believed more than ever that Peter was the one God had for her, but she said something equally truthful, just more on the fun side. From the joy she couldn’t contain.
“Because you kissed me in your parents’ driveway, and it was amazing, and I’ve been longing for that feeling again ever since.”
He laughed softly. “Well, I’ll have to see what I can do about that.”
“You better,” she replied.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Okay, Max. What are you going to do when I say, ‘Go!’?” Lily whispered.
“Get in the car!”
“That’s right,” she said, squeezing his pint-sized shoulders. “Get in the car and sing your song. Don’t forget to sing, okay?”
“Okay,” he echoed. “Get in the car and sing!”
Lily tried to relax and not worry if Max did his part exactly right as she waited off-stage. But she knew they had worked hard. Max knew all the words. She wanted everyone to see what he was truly capable of.
When his turn came, she said ‘Go!’ and knew it was out of her hands after that. Max tentatively walked out onto the stage with his two classmates and looked out at the large audience. He pointed up to the ceiling and shouted loud enough for everyone to hear, “It’s lights!”
Lily had expected that. The bright stage lights had not been on during any of their rehearsal time. Max was always eager to point out anything new. At first she didn’t think he was going to get into the painted cardboard car as he once again became distracted by something else.
He pointed out to the audience next and shouted, “People!” then he turned back to her and had to make sure she knew about his discovery. “Look, Miss Sulwivin. It’s people!” His adorable little giggle emerged, and she smiled, coaxing him over to the car with hand motions.
He spotted the car then and giggled again. “It’s a car!”
Lily wondered if she should go out on the stage and direct him so the audience wouldn’t be kept waiting. She didn’t think he would resist her instructions or that her presence would distract from the performance, but she wanted to see him do it by himself. The audience could wait.
Tears stung her eyes when Becky, the little girl on stage with him, went over to Max, took him by the hand and gently led him over to the car. “Come on, Max!” she whispered loudly. “It’s time to sing our song!”
Max followed her instructions and got into the car. The music began. “It’s music!” he giggled. “Time to sing the song!”
Lily heard a ripple of laughter coming from the audience. A gracious kind of laughter that Max often brought out of people. She recalled the first day of school when he had gotten her to laugh in much the same way by letting her be a part of his simple delight with the world around him.
Max didn’t sing out strong, but she saw his lips mumbling the words, and he remained in the car until the song ended, then said his lines when she prompted him. Even though the play was not finished, as more of his classmates had their turn in the spotlight awaiting them, the audience clapped loudly for Max and his two little friends when they began walking off the stage.
Another wave of laughter followed Max when he turned to the audience and put his hands over his ears at the sound of the applause. “Bye. Thanks,” he said, and made his exit.
Lily hugged him tight when he reached her. “You did it, Max! I’m so proud of you!”
“I did it!” he said, giggling once again.
When the first-graders finished the play, Lily made sure Max got connected with his parents and then sat in the back to enjoy the second and third grade musical production planned for the second part of the evening. She ended up sneaking out about ten minutes early, wanting to be home by the time Peter called. He hadn’t wanted to keep her up too late last night and had promised to call again tonight.
They talked for a long time, and she continued to feel amazed by the way Peter touched her heart. Their time together in California hadn’t ended well, but last night restoration had come, and he was the same Peter, but different too. And she was falling completely in love with him.
She shared the news with her Bible study group on Tuesday, and they were all excited for her. She was surprised Tracy didn’t mention anything about Devin, and she stopped by his classroom on Wednesday to see if something had gone awry. His impression of how things had gone between himself and Tracy the two times they had seen each other didn’t seem to indicate so.
“Tracy’s a private person. One reason I called her in the first place was because I knew that if she had shared with your group that she still has feelings for me, she really must. You may not be getting many details out of her. Sorry to disappoint you.”
“I’m not looking for details,” she blushed. “I only wanted to see if things were okay. I have some details of my own to share.”
She told him about Peter, and he was genuinely happy to hear the news, giving her a warm hug that would be welcome from anyone, but it meant a lot coming from him.
“Does this mean you’re going to be leaving us for California?” he asked.
She pondered his question. The possibility had crossed her mind. Neither she nor Peter had mentioned it yet, but she wasn’t opposed to the idea. She would go to the ends of the earth to be with Peter.
“Maybe,” she replied. “I guess I’ll have to wait and see how things go over the next few months. I’ll hate to leave Max, but I know he’ll be fine without me.”
Peter called again on Thursday after she returned from her parents’ house. Everyone had been able to come for dinner, and she made a general announcement to her family about Peter and promised she’d make arrangements for them all to meet him sometime soon. This weekend they had no definite plans, but she didn’t want to commit to having them come by if Peter wasn’t ready to meet her family quite yet, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to share him this weekend.
On Friday afternoon she headed for the airport after school and arrived with a little time to spare before his plane was due. While she waited, she had a keen awareness that God had done what He had promised her. It seemed unreal that in another twenty minutes Peter would be holding her in his arms once again. In some ways it seemed like it had only been a few days since she’d seen him, in other ways like a lifetime.
She hung back from the cluster of people waiting to greet arriving family and friends. Standing in a perfect location to see Peter as soon as he came into view, she knew it would take him longer to spot her, but she wanted their reunion to be as semiprivate as possible.
His tall frame was easy to see, and her heart began beating wildly at the sight of him. She felt the tears stinging her eyes almost immediately, and they were streaming quietly down her cheeks by the time he spotted her in the crowd and came toward her. Peter fixed his gaze on her and didn’t look away for even a second.
She remained in place and waited for him to come to her. When he reached her, he dropped his bags and scooped her into his arms in one fluid motion, holding her tight. She could barely breathe. Setting her back down gently, he stared at her with his love-filled, striking green eyes and kissed her without saying anything. There were no more barriers to them being together, and that was an amazing feeling, along with the actual kiss itself.
He pulled his lips from hers and smiled. “Hi,” he said softly.
She smiled. “Hi, yourself.”
“How was that?” he asked.
She couldn’t recall ever kissing anyone in such a public, crowded place before, and she didn’t imagine Peter was used to doing so either. She hadn’t been expecting him to be this free with his affection here, but she was glad he wasn’t holding back.
“Like I remember,” she replied.
“Let’s get out of here.”
They walked back through the terminal to the parking structure, and Peter held her close to him. When they reached the car and were settled in the front seat, she expected him to kiss her a
gain, but instead he had something to say.
“I was nervous about seeing you. I couldn’t sit still on the plane. I think the poor guy next to me wished he had a parachute about halfway here.”
“Why were you nervous?” she asked, thinking how she had been anxious but in a good way. He sounded like he had been apprehensive about their reunion.
“Oh, Lily,” he said, stroking her cheek with his fingers. “The last time we spoke face-to-face, you stopped looking at me like you always had before. I was afraid you might never be able to look at me that way again. That what I said to you might keep you from trusting me with those soft green eyes and warm smile.”
“I proved you wrong, didn’t I?”
“Yes,” he said, staring at her for several moments. “Don’t be afraid of sharing your heart with me, Lily. I want to know whatever you’re thinking and feeling. Your opinions and ideas and dreams--I want to hear about all of it. I will never make you feel the way I did that day ever again. I promise.”
Although she had forgiven him almost immediately after those moments on the boat and along the shore of the lake, she realized she needed to hear him say her thoughts and feelings were important to him. Otherwise, she may hold back some things in the future.
“I trust you, Peter,” she said. “But thanks for letting me know that. I’ll always try and be honest with you, and I want you to do the same with me. It’s okay if we don’t always agree,” she said, letting a smile emerge. “But I think in most matters you will find me to be far less stubborn than I was that day.”
“I’m glad you were,” he replied. “Will you help me, Lily? Will you help me to know Him more?”
“Yes, and we’ll learn together, Peter. He can teach you things through me, and He can teach me things through you. That’s the way it’s meant to be.”
She felt close to tears at the thought of how difficult the last two months had been and how good it felt to have him here, knowing that this was their time.
“Honestly, Peter,” she said. “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Please believe me when I say I want to be with you. And not only that, but how much joy I feel for you. At first I was only thinking about you knowing Jesus so we could be together, but God changed my heart on that, and I wanted you to find peace and know how much He loves you.”
“I think I’m starting to get it,” he replied.
“I know you are, and that thrills my heart.”
“I love you, Lily, and I hope with all my heart I can show you that.”
They shared some tender kisses then, and Lily had never experienced something so intimate on a heart level. She had kissed other guys, but there was an added dimension of something she didn’t have words for. Something she had felt with Peter all along, but even more now. She knew this was the man she wanted to marry. The search was over, and it was only a matter of where they went from here.
They started with dinner, and they had a long, relaxing time together. Peter’s company had always been pleasant, but he was different in some obvious ways. She hadn’t realized it before, but Peter was good at getting her to talk about herself without sharing a lot about himself in return.
He opened up a lot more tonight though, especially after they finished eating. She got the feeling he hadn’t talked to anyone on such a deep level in a long time, if ever, and he almost made her cry about three times.
After leaving the restaurant, they went to her apartment. Stepping inside, she set her purse on the bench under the coat rack. It had been a warm day, and she had only taken a lightweight sweater to wear over her blouse. She decided to leave it on for now, and once Peter had closed the door, he reached for her and slipped his arms around her waist from behind, holding her gently against him.
“I’m glad I’m here, Lily,” he said over her shoulder.
She smiled and turned her face to look at him. “I’m glad you’re here too.”
“I hope I wasn’t boring you at dinner.”
She turned in his arms and faced him, hardly believing he thought that could be possible. “No, you weren’t. I want to know everything there is to know about you.”
He kissed her gently, and she enjoyed the passion and the closeness. Peter made her feel things that were in another dimension of time and space that she had never felt with another person before. He didn’t say or do anything to suggest he wanted to do more than kiss her, but she knew she needed to tell him something before it got to that point. Recalling the talk they’d had in the car at the airport about him wanting to hear her thoughts and beliefs and ideas, she decided this was the perfect time to test his promise to her.
Stepping out of his gentle embrace, she took his hand and led the way to the living room. She sat down on the couch, and he sat beside her, pulling her close to him once again before she started talking, but she stopped him from kissing her, even if she did long for the way they could be together in this private setting.
“I don’t know what kind of relationships you’ve had in the past or what you’re expecting tonight, Peter, and I don’t want to be assuming anything one way or the other, so I’m going to tell you what I want and don’t want to happen between us now and other times we spend together in the future.”
“All right,” he said, waiting to hear what she had to say.
“I’m a virgin, Peter, and I want to keep things that way until my wedding night. I love kissing you, and you can do that as much as you want, but everything else is off limits. And yes, this is one of those areas I will be stubborn about, so please don’t try and talk me into anything else tonight or any other night we’re together. I want to wait for God’s best for us.”
She hadn’t been looking directly at him while giving her little speech. Lifting her eyes slowly to see his reaction, she felt a slight twinge of fear that he would mock her in some way, but instead she saw his eyes glistening with tears.
“Come here,” he said, pulling her gently against him. Lightly kissing her hair, he sighed and spoke again. “I’ve only had one other serious relationship. We were together for two years and lived together for about eight months of that time before I got transferred to a new base and she chose to remain behind. I would have married her if she wanted that, but she didn’t, and looking back now I know that was for the best, but I missed her a lot, and that kind of emptiness isn’t something I want to experience again.”
It wasn’t the first time tonight Peter had exposed the difficulties of his past, mostly matters of the heart that made him feel inadequate, lonely, or frustrated with life. But she could tell having to let go of someone he had cared for and shared his life with to that degree had been the most difficult.
“I’ve mostly avoided relationships since then,” he admitted. “I always felt like history would repeat itself.”
She looked up at him, wondering where he was going with this and how he was feeling about what she had told him. Did he think she was playing some kind of a game that he didn’t want to play, or did he understand why she took sex so seriously?
“You’re so different than anything I ever expected in a woman or could have hoped for, Lily,” he said. “Are you for real?”
She smiled, and he kissed her tenderly. The level of passion in his touch was the same, or maybe a little more than it had been before, but she felt safe there. And loved. Peter seemed to need her in a way no other man ever had. Not only today, but ever since he had met her.
“Why did you decide to take a chance with me?” she had to ask him. “Other than going back to California after the concert instead of letting me know how you felt, you’ve pulled out all the stops!”
He laughed and ran his fingers gently over her hair. “I know. You were too irresistible. And every day I spend with you--you’re amazing, Lily. I can’t believe you’re not taken yet.”
Peter held her gently and neither of them said anything until Peter spoke again. His words were surprising but certainly not unwelcome.
“Would it be okay if I
prayed for us right now?”
She smiled without lifting her head from his shoulder. “Yes,” she replied. “That would be fine, Peter.”
Listening to him pray, Lily was amazed. Laying his thanks, wants, and struggles honestly before God, Peter sounded more like a sincere pastor than a person who had only started talking to God this week. He finished with words that brought tears to her eyes.
“Help Lily to be patient with me, Jesus. I want to know you like she knows you, deeply and passionately. I feel unworthy of her love, and yours, but she tells me I shouldn’t, so help me to believe that. Thank you for bringing us together. May this weekend be exactly as you would have it to be.”
When she opened her eyes and saw a look of uncertainty on Peter’s face, she knew he wondered if his prayer had been satisfactory. With a smile she assured him it had been fine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“Did you have any definite plans for us this weekend?” Peter asked.
“No. My younger sister wants to meet you and suggested we could all go to the beach together tomorrow, but if you’d rather not, I told her we could go some other time.”
“Is this the sister that’s getting married soon?”
“Yes, Rose. She and Geoffrey are getting married next month.”
“I’d love to meet your family,” he said. “If that’s what you want to do, it’s fine with me.”
Lily called her sister a little while later and the arrangements were made. She knew Josie and Mark were both working this weekend or she would have invited them too. After talking with Rose and hearing her sister squeal with excitement when Lily assured her that her time with Peter was going as well as she had hoped, Lily returned to Peter’s side, and they talked, laughed, and kissed a little bit more before Peter decided he better get going. He was staying with Mark and didn’t want to arrive there too late, knowing Mark had to work tomorrow.
Lily drove him to Mark’s apartment near the hospital. Before opening his door, Peter leaned across the front seat and pulled her close to him.
Lily Fields (Garden of Love 1) Page 20