Punked by the Pumpkin: A Cozy Mystery (Sweet Home Mystery Series Book 4)

by Constance Barker

  We spent most of the afternoon decorating the shop, which was looking pretty good now. The windows and walls were filled with harvest colors and decorations with some Halloween Jack-o-Lanterns and black cats fashioned out of paper. We even came up with some special themed coffee drinks and smoothies that Jules wrote on the tiny pumpkins, which served as both centerpieces and menus on the tables.

  The damp fall weather was bringing some good business into the coffee shop, so the time just seemed to fly by.

  “Good afternoon, girls.”

  Eli walked into the shop, which rarely happens before dinnertime. He was in uniform today, but sometimes he’s the town’s plain-clothes detective, whatever the schedule calls for. The squad car was parked out front with the blue and red lights flashing. I’m not sure that’s great for business, but it was nice to see him.

  “Now all we need is some yellow crime scene tape out front. That should draw in the coffee drinkers.”

  Eli gave me a twisted grin and then pushed a button on his key remote to shut off the lights. “Better?”

  I nodded and gave him a little hug. He wasn’t big on public displays of affection, especially when he was in uniform.

  “So, are you going to let me take you to dinner tonight, Lily? It’s Saturday. I’ll be off in hour and can be ready to go in two.”

  I waved my arm like one of those Price Is Right models showing off a new refrigerator. “Do you see Essie and Hildie anywhere? They’ve been silent and absent, except for bringing in the baked goods, all week. I’ll have to be here until 8:00.”

  “Oh, go and have a nice meal and a little fun, Lily. I’ll run it for you. Moira is running my shop next door, and we close at 5:00 today.”

  “Thanks, Jules, but Saturdays can get a little busy in the early evening. A lot of people meet here before their dates or their group ventures to the nightlife in Sabina.”

  She gave me that look again. “Are you saying I’m not competent enough to run your shop for a few hours? Didn’t I keep up with you in putting up your decorations today?”

  She was too nice to say that she actually had probably done two or three times as much as I did.

  “Okay, then. But I’ll try to find you some help.” I was thinking that maybe Carmen Baumgardner from the bike rental shop across the street might be able to help for a while.

  “You two sit down for a minute. I’ll bring you two bottles of water.”

  “Pumpkin water for me.” Yes, I actually found some pumpkin-flavored bottled water at the warehouse store.

  We sat at my “command center” table and unofficial office most convenient to the counter and back room.

  “You know…” Eli looked at me with a concerned or maybe puzzled look. “…Dad was acting mighty strange for a couple of days too, and I’ve seen some different behavior from a lot of the seniors around town, I think it has something to do with Bingo Night at the Methodist Church.”

  “Well, it was the morning after Bingo that my aunts stopped talking too, and Toe and your dad were whispering that whole next day. What do you think is going on?”

  “I wish I knew. The seniors are all keeping some kind of secret, or else they’ve all been hypnotized by some cult master.”

  “We need to drop in for Bingo Night and find out what’s up.”

  Eli shook his head and smiled. “You know they’ll never let us in. They have a strict policy: No one under 60 in allowed.”

  “But, Eli, you are an officer of the law. You can find some kind of excuse for forcing your way in there.”

  “Really, Lily? Do you really want me to trample those old folk’s rights just to satisfy our curiosity?”

  Heck yeah! That’s exactly what I wanted him to do. “Well, no, of course not. But if somebody is brainwashing them or…”

  “Lily, you know I was kidding about the hypnotic mind control thing.”

  “I know, Eli, but maybe you were more exaggerating than kidding. Something is going on, and it all started on Bingo Night.”

  He inhaled deeply and couldn’t say I was wrong. “I’ll tell you what. We will do some reconnaissance around the bingo hall in the church basement on Tuesday, and see if we can’t maybe find some clues. I’m off early, but we can use the squad car.”

  “Let’s just take the unmarked vehicle and try to be incognito. But, yeah, that’s a good idea.”

  Trevor walked in the front door, no doubt because he saw Eli’s squad car out front, and a light bulb went off in my head.

  “Hi, Trev,” I said. “Come here a sec. Jules!” I called her over to the table too. Trevor’s eyes glazed over in a spell as he looked at her face. “Hey, Trevor, can you help Jules out here at the coffee shop from about 5:00 until 8:00? I’m going to be out for a while.”

  “Yeah! Sure. I can do that.”

  “Is that okay with you, Jules? You can wait on the tables and Trevor can make the drinks. He’s a quick study. He’ll pick it up in no time.”

  “Sounds great to me!”

  Jules was too sweet to notice that I was using her gorgeousness to lure in a teenage boy, but it worked out perfectly for everybody.

  “Officer Davis…” Trevor was still anxious to talk to Eli about whatever he saw going on near town. “…can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Of course, Trevor. What’s up?”

  The boy looked at all of the intrusive eyes and ears nearby (mostly mine). “Police business, sir.”

  “Sure. Let’s go up to the front table.”

  Rats. You might have figured out that I’m the curious type. Okay, I’m nosy. It runs in the family. I get it from Aunt Essie of course. I went behind the counter to get the glass cleaner and some paper towels.

  “I’m just going to get some smudges off the window glass, Jules.”

  She grabbed the belt of my pants and held on. “I just did it an hour ago, Lily. There are no smudges, no fingerprints, not bugs…no anything. Now, sit.”

  She might as well have pulled a kid out of the middle of a footrace and told her to go and sit quietly in church for an hour.

  “But, Jules…” I whined.

  “But nothing. You just want to eavesdrop on a private conversation. Eli can tell you all about it over dinner.”

  That was true. But that was two hours from now. Maybe a pumpkin fix will help ease the pain. Pumpkin cream tea. Mmmm.…the next best thing to a bubble bath with strawberries and wine with Handel’s Water Music playing in the background. That’s the only time I like classical music for some reason.

  Just as I was beginning my escape into a sip of pumpkin cream tea heaven, the front door opened and a mindless zombie with soulless eyes walked in. It was Hildie. Essie was sitting at the wheel of their golf cart out front staring straight ahead. It seemed as if everyone in the Coffee Cabana was invisible to Hildie. She walked up to the display case on the counter where the slight movement of her index finger seemed to indicate that she was counting the muffins and cookies. She apparently was cognizant enough of reality to realize that see needed to know what was selling so she would know what to bake for tomorrow. Without a word or a glance, she was back out the door and they drove off, making a U-turn in front of the shop and heading back home.

  Eli gave me a look from across the room, seeming to have a better understanding now of the disturbing weirdness that had me wanting to find out more. His dad, Harvey, and Toe had been a little odd for a day or two (and they still seemed a bit distracted), but they were at least talking again. They were, however, still drinking tea and honey.

  We decided on a casual dinner so I could get back to close the Cabana. Beer and pizza at Benny J’s sounded pretty good to me after a day of grazing on muffins and gorging on pumpkin beverages. I had forgotten how much worse pumpkin spice tasted when it bubbled up from the depths of my stomach.

  “Supreme?” Eli asked me when the waitress came to take our order.

  I nodded. A full load of meat and veggies is hard to beat.

  “And a pitcher of beer.”
>
  “Light,” I added.

  We tried to gaze longingly into each other’s eyes, but after a wearing day that effort ended with both of us breaking into laughter.

  “Long day, Lil?”

  “They’re all long, but at least I get to start a little later on Saturdays. So, what did Trevor have to tell you?”

  “Yeah, my day felt like a long one too for some reason.”

  “Well, you have tomorrow off, so you should sleep in. What’s going on with Trevor?”

  “Oh, he’s a good kid. Likes to help.”

  I guess I was going to have to spell it out for him. “I mean, you know, he seemed like he had something real important to tell you. He mentioned something about things happening at the cemetery to me earlier.”

  “Oh, yeah…probably nothing. Your decorations looked nice. Did Jules help you with that?”

  All right, buddy. If you aren’t going to tell me anything, I’m not talking either.

  “Lily?”

  Silence.

  “Lily…”

  “What…did…Trevor…tell you?”

  His poor effort to cover the smirk on his face told me that he’d been trying to get my goat. He leaned in to tell me but then sat up as our pitcher of beer arrived.

  “You’re going to have to drink most of this. I have to go back to work for a while to close up. Now spill.”

  “We’ve had a few calls on it at the station too. I don’t know if it’s high school pranksters or what, but someone’s been running through the cemetery at night, knocking over headstones and strewing flowers left for the dearly departed all over the place. Some of the houses in the area are experiencing vandalism too, knocking potted plants over and little mischievous things like that.”

  “Seriously? How weird is that?”

  “Well, we always get some hijinks this time of year, but usually not until the week of Halloween. It’s starting a little early this year. Maxine Fernwald had some Halloween decorations stolen right off her front steps.”

  “Like what?“

  “Some kind of blow up ghost or goblin, and Gertie Price, next door to Dad, called in and she swore up and down that she saw the Headless Horseman with his horse rising up on its haunches and his Jack-o-Lantern head glowing in the dark out on the edge of her back yard.”

  He smiled and shook his head, but I wasn’t so sure it was funny.

  “What?” he asked me, noticing my serious expression.

  “I think Miss Pickles may have seen it too.”

  Eli had to consider it. “Maybe so. She’s right next to Dad’s house, and something sure spooked that mangy old cat.”

  “Ooh. Don’t let Harvey hear you talking like that about your sister that way. Miss Pickles is probably already his primary heir as it is.”

  “Probably so,” Eli agreed with a chuckle. But whatever it takes to ensure that he doesn’t leave me that golf cart with the shark fin on top is a good thing…Unless, of course, you want me to pick you up in ‘Sharkie’ for all of our dates?”

  A shiver ran down my spine. “I’m good. Miss Pickles can have the cart.”

  The pizza arrived, slowing conversation down to a trickle for several minutes, but I wasn’t done squeezing Eli for information.

  “So what else? And what do you think is going on?”

  “Well, there is one more thing. You know that old chapel right inside the cemetery gate?”

  “You mean the one that looks like the Bate’s Motel?”

  “That’s probably the one, since it’s the only one. Well, Trevor says he and some of the other guys have seen dim lights inside going on and off, and when they went close to look in the window, he says they could hear the sound of a baby crying coming from the inside.”

  “This is all getting to be too much for the imagination to handle, Eli. It keeps getting more and more creepy for a while, but at this point it just seems like a joke. I’m sure it’s just the boys trying to freak out the girls. That’s still where most of the high school smooching goes on in this town. The guys must just be having their buddies trying to scare their girlfriends so they’ll get closer to them.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking at first too. But Trevor says no, and I tend to believe him.”

  “Why?“

  “Well, for starters, all of the cheerleaders are in a volunteer group that does grave maintenance to keep the cemetery neat, and they even pull weeds around the headstones and maintain the flower gardens there, which have been hit hard by the vandals. Any guy who wants a chance to go smooching with one of them isn’t going to destroy the girls’ hard work. Besides, these girls know the cemetery inside and out, and they don’t get spooked there at all. It seems that it’s the boys that are getting nervous, especially since the mysterious lights and the ghost baby have come to the abandoned chapel.”

  It had crossed my mind earlier that maybe after dinner Eli and I could park by the old chapel for a kiss or two. And maybe not.

  Chapter Three

  Tuesday morning came around, and I’d had enough of their silent game. Essie and Hildie, along with a couple dozen other seniors in Sweet Home, still hadn’t spoken a word, and Harvey and Toe weren’t giving us any information about what was going on either…but it must have had something to do with Tuesday Night Bingo at the church.

  I was in early for the morning rush hour coffee sales, and Essie and Hildie walked in at 9 o’clock sharp with freshly baked muffins and other goodies. They had knit winter scarves wrapped around their necks now, and I had half a mind to pull them tight. It was just two days until the Harvest Festival, and we were going to have a strategy meeting today, come heck or high water. As soon as the old girls got inside, I locked the door behind them and turned the sign to Closed.

  I was standing in front of the front door with my arms crossed when they came back to the entrance after setting the muffins on the counter. I shook my head and pointed to our table behind them.

  “Meeting time, ladies.” I tried to be firm but businesslike and not show my anger.

  I took each of their arms and escorted them to our table. “Sit…please. We have to talk about the Harvest Festival today. It starts on Thursday and runs through the weekend.”

  They sat down and I gave them a serious big-eyed stare. “Stay.”

  I was going to get coffee, which they hadn’t been drinking for a week, but then I had a different idea. I brought them each a cup of apple-mint tea with a spoon in it and squeezed a couple circles of honey into the steaming tea. Then I plopped a small ice cube into each cup to cool it down a bit. To my astonished bewilderment, they each took a big sip.

  “Ladies, the Harvest Festival starts very soon, and it’s our busiest time of the year. The golf cart parade with all of the seniors in their carts starts right out here on the corner, and the whole town will be lined up along Sunshine Avenue for the a couple hours for the parade. We will be very busy. We will need both of you outside taking orders, one person inside waiting tables, and at least two behind the counter filling the orders. We need to go with a smaller, more streamlined menu that day, so we have to decide what we will serve and what we won’t. We will need a lot of muffins and cookies and other snacks too. Now, first of all, can I count on you for your help?”

  They both drank their tea down to the bottom of the cup and then stood up. Essie went behind the counter and grabbed a handful of teabags. Hildie wrapped the squeezable honey dispenser in a napkin and put it in her purse. Then they both headed for the front door, unlocked it, turned the sign to Open, and left.

  I collapsed into one of the chairs and just sat there until a steady trail of tears started rolling down my cheeks. My usual strength turned to helplessness and my anger to sadness. I just couldn’t do it anymore. With the unstoppable freight train of time on a collision course I felt helpless and alone in a situation I couldn’t handle. First fear and then panic set it.

  It was as if my silent cry for help was heard by my dearest friend in the world, and the back do
or opened.

  “Jules, you must be psychic, or else we’re twins who were separated at birth.” I was a mess.

  She took my hand and pulled me up to give me a big hug. “Yeah…or else I just saw your aunts drive off in their golf cart from my shop next door.”

  That brought me a much-needed giggle.

  “I was pretty sure your do-or-die meeting hadn’t gone the way you’d hoped since they were only here for a few minutes.”

  “You’re always here when I need you, Jules.”

  “And you’re always there for me. That’s what friends are for. Now, sit. I’ll get you some coffee.”

  “Tea.” Jules usually drank tea in the morning, so I figured I should see how the other half lives. “And honey.”

  “Look, Lily…” Jules sat down with two cups of tea, a jar of honey, and some spoons. “…I’m going to be closed next door during the parade. Nobody is going to be buying party supplies then, and I’m delaying the newspaper until Friday so I can include pictures from the parade. So, I’m going to help you here at the Coffee Cabana. Moira says she’ll help too if her parents don’t need her at the rental shop, and I think you should ask Eli to get Trevor to help here too. Maybe he can tell him it’s some kind of training thing for studying crowd behavior and human interactions.”

  Don’t question it, Lily; don’t ask her if she’s sure – she is! Just accept it. It’s a great plan, and it makes a lot of sense.

  “Yeah, sure. Thank you, Jules. You saved my life. You just untied me from the railroad tracks.”

  Now I was starting to get excited about it. “I’ll call Eli at lunchtime about Trevor. I’m sure he’ll help. And you know what? I’m going to call Gladys and Mildred and see if they’ll come in and work the dining room. I’ll put the stools out in front for their families to watch the parade. And I’ll ask Gertie to make some individual-sized versions of her prize-winning apple pie – maybe empanadas – and sell them out front.”