Antithesis

by Allison Crews

  “But, Griffen,” I said, hesitating. “Of course I was hiding from them. They weren’t going to find me where I was…at least in the dark…as long as we were quiet.”

  “That makes no sense, Elliott, love,” he said. “The part about them not being able to find you. Are you sure you didn’t hit your head when you were crashing through the woods?”

  “Griffen, I knew all that I wanted to do was to find you – to see you – and to keep you from doing something that would separate me from you forever – from being so angry with them you would hurt… us…and our chance to be together – to build a life together some day,” I said – pleased that this came out without my voice shaking.

  He pulled me closer to him and held me, not quite as tight. When he released me, I saw his perfect face relax into a smile.

  “Elliott, my concern for you and hatred for those fools brought me to my knees…again,” he said, and his lips pursed into a thin line. His eyes snapped as he looked intently into mine again, trying to get me to understand…to listen…as if I had a choice.

  He kept his gaze on mine gently sweeping the hair off my neck, holding my hand in his other. He brushed his lips against mine softly, and I closed my eyes inhaling his wonderful scent so close to me, so comforting. When he spoke again, his voice was low and husky.

  “I’ve lived a long time thinking that I was complete. My choices were going to keep me safe from the life that I’d grown up around – I was not going to ever live like that again. I just knew that by finding a worthy purpose as you said, I’d be fine. I was so smugly satisfied that all was well, and that I would be spared this kind of…complication,” he said kissing my neck and pressing his hands into my hair, pulling me closer to him.

  He paused, and looked deeply into my eyes, stroking my jaw line with his fingers. “I thought I was whole – so many others like my uncle were happy doing that very thing. No violence, no arguments – no love hate madness – just purpose and peace.”

  I shivered at his touch and struggled to concentrate on his words, drinking them in as much as his soft, caressing touch.

  “But you…without even knowing what you were doing…destroyed all that when your lovely, muddy face rode into my life,” he whispered the last lines into my throat. I closed my eyes as he kissed my neck, my jaw, and softly met my lips. I tried to relax but could not resist this time grabbing his dark hair and pulling his face closer, meeting his soft kiss with a passionate possessiveness that surprised me.

  He pulled back, looked me in the eyes, and laughed.

  “Elliott, remember I’m still a guy…very much in love with you… very certain that I want to protect you…all of you,” he growled. “You’re not helping me keep my end of this bargain!”

  “How did this happen so quickly?” I laughed with him, grabbing him back and kissing him, this time, on the cheek. I still couldn’t keep my hands off his magnificent shoulders and pulled him back to me on the couch. He rolled away from me, stood, and walked to the window in one swift movement, looking out over the beautiful cypress brake. I watched him not believing he was real, still here, and so mine.

  His brow furrowed like he was gathering his thoughts. He paced restlessly in front of the windows, then stood in front of me beside the waning embers in the fireplace. He seemed to be testing his next remarks, and his brow furrowed in concentration.

  “After I hauled you out of that ditch, I tried to go back to my world. Back to doing what had always been my calling – my purpose. But you… you kept coming back to me – I couldn’t erase you from my thoughts.” He smiled at me for a moment, then looked back into the fireplace.

  “Once you happened to me, I was unsettled for a whole year. The more I learned about you, the more I knew how dangerous it would be for a person like you to get involved with someone like me. You’re so good, Elliott, so…perfect. Even if you, no, especially because you’re so naïve. That makes you even more perfect. You make people around you want to rise to your standards – you make it look so easy and so worth it. You’re so unselfish, so happy with who you are, and so unconcerned about what people think. To someone like me, avoiding permanent complications, you’re truly a terror,” he smiled.

  “I knew you’d be involved in the Opening Meet weekend, so I decided to help again, as usual. William didn’t mind, and I’m sure he was expecting it. I was just going to observe you and hope, for some reason, you’d changed. Then I saw you again and you were, if anything, more irresistible…and…surprisingly, still unattached. But I still held back thinking I’d never be able to give you the kind of peaceful, secure life someone like you deserved.”

  He turned and faced me again but remained by the fireplace. “Now that I’ve seen some of how your family lives, and paid more attention to how others live, I know now that the only life I ever knew is not how it has to be. You taught me that. I just hope I won’t hurt you – I have no practice in this area – like I said – this was never in the plan…in my plan.”

  He stepped back to the window and looked out over the brake again. I walked over and wrapped my arms around him, leaning my face into his back and drinking in his solid presence.

  “Griffen, I trust you,” I said. “And…I love you.”

  “It’s the first part I’m worried about,” he said turning to face me and drawing my soul in through his eyes. “I’ve always counted on the last – at least when I’m able to put my hands on you.”

  “You are an arrogant piece of work!” I snapped, not flinching from the unmistakable challenge in his gaze. “That second part is just lust – purely petty animal lust! That can happen with anyone!”

  “Oh really?” he smiled and arched an eyebrow. “So you’re telling me now that you feel like this around all the boys?”

  “You know better,” I said, looking into his marvelous, amused face and relishing his hands resting on my back gently holding me against him. “I trust you,” I said wryly underneath my lashes and stretched up toward his smiling face, “completely.”

  “Alone with me here,” he whispered into my neck, his left arm pulling me closer to him, his right working through my still damp hair, “for as long as we like…” his lips moving softly to my collarbone, “New Year’s Day…” he continued up my neck, “smelling so clean and perfect,” he said as he reached my chin and paused to let his eyes meet mine.

  I shivered with pleasure at his petulant gaze. If he wants a challenge, I’ll give it to him – holding my ground. But was this a challenge for him, or for me? I couldn’t tell because the world had stopped, and I didn’t care because I was spinning and spiraling deeper in love with him. He loved me, too, I knew I could trust him, and we had plenty of time to practice before committing to a lifetime. Grand, too, was silent.

  “You definitely hit your head,” he growled.

  The dying embers sparked into one last attempt at flames. Outside, the cypress brake heralded the Sun’s mid day victory over the cold, cloudy New Year’s day. A drake Wood Duck drifted by the bank radiating brilliant colors when he passed through the scattered sunlight. Smiling contentedly, I closed my eyes as he cradled me in the shelter of his magnificent, implacable arms.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Also by Allison Crews

  Impasse – Antithesis Series Book Two

  Nemesis – Antithesis Series Book Three

  www.AllisonCrewsBooks.com

  Acknowledgements

  A special thanks to the many thousands of writers who take the time to make learning about people and places so much fun – particularly authors Stephenie Meyer, J. K. Rowling, David McCullough, Wilbur Smith, Vince Flynn, Clive Cussler, Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows, Rita Mae Brown, and Rick Riordan for creating worlds that inspired me to write my own stories.

  A special thanks to the authors Jill Conner Browne, Cali Canberra, David Carnoy, Todd Kaderbek, Jan Neuharth, Steve Price, Jim Ritchie, and Kathryn Stockett who took the time to encourage a first time novelist.

  Many many thanks to all my fri
ends and family, but especially to those listed below. You know what you did to get me started, and I thank you.

  The ace editing team Anna Lin Conner, Paige Ford, Jenny Foy, Luz Huesca, Megan Kernop, Taylor McCullough, Amanda Morales, Alanna Nunez, John Taylor Schaffhauser, Lila Sessums, and Susan Williams for helping me catch, hopefully, most of the mistakes.

  My cheerleaders Molly Ables, Debbie Adams, Blakeney Bryant, Elaine and Jimmy Crews, Kaki Crews, David Dickson, William Foushee, Joy Foy, Kay Galloway, Will Galloway, Jo Ann Gordon, Julie Grogan, Tracey Jones, Janie, Dan, and Kim Kennedy, Drew Morgan, Kate and John Morrison, Perry Ritchie, Gracie, Jennifer, and John Schaffhauser, Daniel Smith, Ebbie Spivey, Ben Street, and Caroline Terry for your faith and encouragement.

  The beautiful and talented Alison Martin for her perfect cover and book design.

  My brother, Nolen Grogan, for taking pictures of Chase and me that actually looked good in broad daylight without Photoshop.

  My teenage boys…Jake for introducing me to Crossfade’s song, Invincible, that fits this story perfectly and Turner, for coming up with the title,

  My Daddy, Bill Grogan, for a lifetime example of living the Christian life to the fullest, taking me hunting with him when I was a little girl, and encouraging me to spread my wings and fly…from the moment I took my first step.

  Characters – In Order of Appearance

  1. Elliott Marks – narrator, this is her life

  2. Robin Simmons – trainer

  3. Grand – Elliott’s deceased maternal grandmother whose admonitions

  and advice constantly keep her “in line”

  4. Ashley Woods – rides at Elliott’s barn

  5. Elliott’s mother – Lisa Marks

  6. Sister Allen – Ben’s little sister, Elliott does not tell us her name

  7. Carolyn Allen – Ben’s mother

  8. Ben Allen – Elliott’s neighbor

  9. Shannon Kraft – Elliott’s high school friend

  10. Mr. Glasgow – High School physics teacher

  11. Leslie White – Elliott’s high school friend and roommate at Ole Miss

  12. Elaine Melton – Elliott’s high school friend

  13. Mr. Jones – High school economics teacher

  14. Lily – student at Elliott’s barn, fourth grade girl

  15. Elliott’s father – James Marks

  16. Christopher James – Ben’s high school friend, student at Millsaps,

  17. Bonnie Walters – hunt secretary – Woodland Hunt

  18. Griffen Case – student at Vanderbilt

  19. Janice Black – whipper-in – Woodland Hunt – student at Millsaps

  20. Pete Sanders – huntsman – Woodland Hunt

  21. Big River Hunt members

  a. William Greene – huntsman, Master

  b. Sylvia Greene – his wife

  c. Lydia Wright – whipper-in

  d. Stephen Smith – whipper-in

  e. Susan Walters – whipper-in

  f. Bo Whittington – whipper-in

  g. Bob Allen – whipper-in (not related to Ben)

  h. Jane Rings – second flight field master

  i. Mrs. Harrison – field member

  j. Hunting Harpie – unnamed snippy woman in the field

  22. Eddie – troublesome redneck that gets kicked out of Stanford Hall

  23. Miles Stanford – owns Stanford Hall

  24. Em – no last name mentioned, Mr. Stanford’s hired hand

  25. Addison (Addy) Falls – Elliott’s college friend

  26. Mr. Hinton – Griffen’s uncle

  27. Eilene Watson – Master and field master, Big River

  Places – In Order of Appearance

  • Canton, Mississippi – Elliott’s home town

  • Highland Hills High School – Elliott’s high school

  • River Run Farm – Elliott’s barn in high school

  • The University of Mississippi – Ole Miss, Elliott’s college

  • Hickory Hill Stables – place where Elliott rides in Oxford

  • Stanford Hall – site of one of Big River Hunt’s opening meets, Mississippi

  Delta near Greenwood

  • Hale’s Duck Camp – in the Delta behind the Mississippi River Levee

  • Hinton’s Duck Camp – Griffen’s uncle’s camp

  • Patterson Farm – Greenwood

  Hounds – Big River Hunt

  Cora

  Goboy – puppy, young entry Rufus

  Google – puppy, young entry Snake – weanling puppy

  Gypsy – likes to chase bobcats Sounder – not a strike hound, gets on hogs

  Pepper – puppy, young entry Spice

  Pout – puppy, young entry Trooper

  Horses

  • Blazer – chestnut Appendix Quarter Horse gelding, rental, later Ben’s

  • Bonfire – Ashley’s chestnut Thoroughbred gelding

  • Harley – black Quarter Horse gelding

  • Jet – Griffen’s black Thoroughbred gelding

  • Knox – gray cob

  • Moon Pie – gray pony

  • Shade – dark bay Quarter Horse gelding, rental horse

  • Sonny – buckskin Appendix Quarter Horse gelding, rental horse

  • Viva – Elliott’s gray Thoroughbred mare

  • Wallace – gray Irish Draft

  Other Characters

  • Angus – Scottish gamekeeper

  • Mr. and Mrs. Griffen Case – Griffen’s parents

  • Duncan – caretaker for hunting club on the Mississippi River

  • Fionan – Scottish driver

  • Jennifer Marks – Elliott’s oldest sister

  • Miscellaneous mysterious men in the woods

  • Panzer – Griffen’s Chesapeake Bay Retriever

  • Mr. Salter – shooter in Scotland

  • Mr. and Mrs. Stewart – Scottish landowners

  Mrs. Sylvia’s List of Foxhunting and General Riding Terms

  • Account for – (v) When the hunted quarry escapes to a place where it cannot be reached by the hounds, is bayed, or caught by the pack.

  • Away – The game has “gone away” when is has left covert. Hounds are “away” when they have left covert on the line of their quarry.

  • Babble – (v) To give tongue on scent other than fox, on no scent at all, or on a scent too faint to follow. Not a desirable trait.

  • Bling – (n) Never appropriate in the hunt field. No excessive jewelry allowed. Wedding rings and tiny stud earrings are permissible. Stock pins should be plain.

  • Breastplate – (n) Part of the horse’s gear that keeps the saddle from slipping out of place and gives the rider another place to grab in case of emergencies.

  • Bridle path – (n) The area of the horse’s mane shaved right behind the ears. Usually no longer than an inch or two.

  • Button – (n) See hunt button.

  • Canter – (v) A three-beat comfortable rocking gait. Usually faster than the trot and slower than the gallop.

  • Cap – (n) Riding helmet (v or n) Fee. Visitors pay a “capping fee” for the privilege of riding to hounds.

  • Cast – (n) A planned move by the huntsman to guide the hounds to a lost line. (v) Or, the hounds my cast themselves.

  • Check – (n) A halt in the run caused by hounds losing the line. (v) Hounds check when they lose the line temporarily. At these times, the field must refrain from excessive chatter.

  • Colors – (n) The colors on the collar of the scarlet (gentlemen) or black (ladies) coat that distinguish the uniform of one hunt from another. (Some hunts have coats other than scarlet.) To be awarded colors by the Master is to be given the right to wear them and the hunt button.

  • Coop – (n) Short for chicken coop. An inviting, a-frame, wooden jump set over wire fences. Usually around three-feet high.

  • Couple(s) – (n) Two hounds, (any gender), for convenience in counting. (n) Usually a leather device used to keep two hounds joined t
o each other for convenience in control or training. (v) To attach two hounds together by use of couples.

  • Covert – (n) (pronounced “cover”) A patch of woods or dense growth where the quarry might be found.

  • Crop – (n) The stick part of the hunting whip. • Cry – (n) The sound given by hounds when they are on a line.

  • Cubhunting – Early hunting before the formal season.

  • Field – (n) The group of people riding to hounds, excluding the Master and staff. There are usually two or more fields in hunting.

  • Field Master – (n) The person chosen by the Master to control the field.

  • Fixture – (n) The place that the hunt meets.

  • Fixture Card – (n) The mailed or e-mailed list of dates and times that is sent to hunt members indicating when and where the hunts will take place. Receiving a fixture card is equivalent to being invited to hunt.

  • Gaited Horse – (n) One of many breeds who have more “gears” than walk, trot, canter, and gallop. Usually thought of as show or trail riding horses, some make excellent foxhunters.

  • Grand Slam – (n) Successfully accounting for a fox, coyote, and bobcat in a day’s hunt. Cause for great excitement.

  • Ground – (n) “Go to ground.” To take shelter.

  • Hair Net – (n) Essential part of a lady’s attire. Should either be black or match the color of the lady’s hair. Never should hair be seen billowing around. Most unbecoming. In some hunts, a lady may be sent home for the infraction. Exception: junior girls’ pigtails are welcome and encouraged.

  • Hand – (n) Measurement used for horses. One hand equals four inches.

  • Harpie – See Hunting Harpie.

  • Hilltoppers – (n) Riders who do not plan to jump and move at a leisurely pace after the hounds. The group usually rides to the ability of the least capable of the group. With the right field master, they often see the most game.