Once Upon a Groom

by Karen Rose Smith

  “Thank you.”

  Her voice wobbled in a way that was so unlike Jenny that Zack’s throat tightened. “No thanks necessary. I should have listened to you.”

  She said nothing.

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Hold tight.”

  She murmured her thanks again and ended the call.

  Conflicting emotions battered Zack as he turned to his computer to make a reservation. What would he find when he got to Flagstaff? Hope for the best, he’d told Jenny.

  Just what was the best?

  Late that night, Zack rushed into the emergency room entrance of the stucco and brick hospital in Flagstaff, his pulse racing. He’d thought he’d distanced himself from his father. He’d thought he simply didn’t care anymore. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t seen the symptoms Jenny had noticed when he’d been home for the reunion. Or maybe his father pretended as much as he himself did.

  It was possible his father had put up a front for Zack’s benefit, but Zack’s coolness and reserve toward Silas wasn’t a pretense. They’d had many arguments before Zack had left for film school. Growing up, he’d often seen his dad inebriated after a high-stakes poker game. He’d heard his parents’ arguments and known his dad was always at the root of them. When Zack had learned what had happened the day his mother died, why she’d taken off in that airplane to visit her sister in Montana, he’d disowned his father just as his father had practically disowned him when he left the ranch to pursue a film career.

  After inquiring at the desk and showing ID, he headed for the cardiac intensive care unit and found Jenny in one of the waiting rooms. Even looking distraught and pale, she was a beautiful woman. At thirty-three, maturity had touched her in attractive ways. Her glossy blond, shoulder-length hair framed a heart-shaped face that had taken on a more haunting beauty. Her deep brown eyes, always wide with emotions, were stunning as she looked up at him.

  “I’m so glad you’re here. They’ve stabilized him but—” The quick shutdown of her thoughts told Zack just how upset she was.

  Shrugging out of his leather jacket, he laid it over the back of the sofa.

  “Did you even have time to pack?” she asked.

  “No. I keep a duffle in my office with a change of clothes and workout gear. I just grabbed that.”

  “Are you going to try to see him now?”

  “Yes, for a few minutes. Thanks for giving me his doctor’s number. I called him after I landed. He said he’d noted on the chart that I could see him when I arrived.”

  “Zack, you can’t upset him.” She looked as if that was hard for her to say, but yet she knew she had to say it.

  Her regret didn’t help the sting, though, and he replied, almost angrily, “Do you think I would? My God, Jenny, I don’t wish him harm.”

  “How would I know what you wish him, Zack?”

  She was right. How would she know? They hadn’t really talked except about the most mundane practical things when he called his father now and then. He’d felt it was his duty to keep in touch even though he hadn’t wanted to. Sometimes Jenny would answer. Sometimes they’d exchange pleasantries. Others she’d just tell Silas he was on the line.

  We live in different worlds, he reminded himself, not for the first time. Yet standing here, facing her again, years dropped away and lingering nudges of what they’d once shared startled him. Memories ran through his head of the two of them sitting on the corral fence talking…of gentling a foal together…of graduating…of making love in the hayloft. No—not making love. Having sex. If it had been love, Jenny would have gone with him to L.A. when he’d asked her.

  “How long are you going to stay?” she asked, and he could see she was already preparing herself for the fact he might be here merely twenty-four hours again.

  “I don’t know. Let’s just see what happens after tomorrow. I’ll conference with the doctor and then decide.”

  She appeared to want to say something, maybe ask him if he could stay longer than a day, but she didn’t. Instead she murmured, “I’ll get a blanket and pillows while you’re gone. I’m bunking here tonight.”

  Zack knew his father had become a dad to Jenny, the way her own had never been. It was ironic that Silas couldn’t be a real father to Zack when Zack was growing up, but with Jenny—Silas Decker had never been anything but supportive, positive and encouraging with her even before his wife had died. Maybe that’s because Jenny hadn’t been a disappointment to him. Or because she had stepped into the role that Zack had been groomed for but had refused.

  “I’m going to see him now.” Zack steeled himself for the visit, knowing he did have to distance himself from this experience and whatever happened next.

  Surprising him, Jenny crossed to him and touched his forearm. It was just a whisper of a touch, no pressure at all. Yet Zack felt the fire of it. He felt his body respond to it, and he pulled away before she could guess what was happening. But not before he saw the disappointment on her face that they couldn’t have a heart-to-heart about this.

  There would be no heart-to-hearts, not tonight, not in the days to come. He didn’t do that because letting himself be vulnerable would only invite pain. He’d seen it with his parents. He’d felt it with Jenny, and he’d certainly experienced it in L.A.

  He headed for his father’s cubicle, not knowing what to expect.

  Zack walked into the glass enclosure and stopped short. Silas’s eyes were closed and his complexion was ashen, almost as gray as the hair fringing his head. His mustache was still black but streaked with gray, too. His father was a strapping man—six foot tall and husky. He’d gained weight over the past ten years. Seeing him like this, lying in a bed in a hospital gown, hooked up to IVs and God knew what else, Zack had to absorb the fact his father was aging.

  What had Zack thought? That the years would keep passing and his father would remain the same?

  His dad’s eyes fluttered open, and he stared at Zack for a few seconds without speaking. Finally he said hoarsely, “You came.”

  Still struck by his father’s appearance, Zack didn’t respond.

  “You didn’t want to come, did you?” Silas asked, sounding more like his old self. “This is a duty call.”

  Was that true? Not entirely, but he didn’t admit it. “You had a heart attack,” he said without answering the question.

  Silas gave a slight shrug. “That’s what Jenny tells me. The doc uses words that don’t make any sense, and tomorrow, well, I don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s always a chance—”

  Zack stepped closer to the bed. “No, there isn’t. You’re going to have what’s called a cardiac catheterization. It’s going to show what’s wrong and your doctor is going to fix it.”

  “Sometimes you can find out what’s wrong and not be able to fix it.”

  “You can’t think that way going into it.”

  “And here I thought you’d like it if I just faded away and you didn’t have to deal with me anymore.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” Zack said the words, but he did feel guilty. Hadn’t he often wondered what life would be like without his father’s carping?

  “Don’t lie to me. The truth is the truth is the truth.”

  No matter what had happened before, Zack said with certainty, “I want you to be well. I want you to be healthy again. Jenny is worried sick about you and she needs you.”

  His father swallowed, looked away for a moment, then back at him. “She’s the daughter I never had. Her own father’s a fool for not realizing what a gem he has in her.”

  Silent, Zack considered Jenny’s background and the year he’d been closer to her than he’d ever been to anyone.

  Silas asked, “What are you thinking about?”

  After a few moments’ reluctance, he answered, “How much Jenny meant to Mom and you.” And how she’d refused to go with him to L.A. That thought still had the power to bring back bitterness and regret.

  “I need you to promise me something,” his father ent
reated in a low, serious voice.

  “What?” Zack asked warily.

  “With me out of commission, Jenny can’t handle the burden of the Rocky D on her own. She’s taken over even more responsibility the past couple of months with management of the ranch as well as training the horses, but it’s all too big for any one person. So no matter what happens tomorrow, will you stay a month, six weeks, and help her get a handle on whatever has to be done?”

  “Dad—”

  “I know it’s a lot to ask. I know this isn’t your life. You have big fish to fry. Well, the Rocky D has big fish, too. I know you think I have no right to ask anything of you. That might be true. But Jenny’s going to need some help, and you’re the only one I trust to give her that help.”

  If his father had asked for his own benefit, Zack might have been able to turn him down. But the way he’d put it, how could Zack refuse? Still, he had commitments of his own.

  Silas continued, “You could set up shop at the Rocky D for a while. There’s plenty of room. You could have your own office in the east wing.” He hesitated. “I have a home theater there now, too.”

  The sliding glass doors of Silas’s cubicle opened and a nurse bustled in. “Time’s about up,” she said gently but firmly. “Your father needs his rest.”

  Zack knew that was true. He also knew state of mind could make a big difference if his father was to recover. No, he didn’t want to stay. No, he didn’t want to get roped back into a life he’d left behind. No, he didn’t want to be around Jenny and feel that old tug of desire they’d shared.

  “Think about it,” his father said.

  Zack knew he wouldn’t be able to do much else.

  The following morning, Jenny paced the waiting room while Zack worked on his laptop. She didn’t know how he could concentrate with his dad undergoing the heart catheterization. Even during the night as she’d tried to doze on the sofa, she’d caught glimpses of images flickering on the laptop screen where Zack studied them and tapped the computer keys. He hadn’t slept at all.

  When he’d returned from seeing his dad last night, he’d been remote and silent. This morning, after visiting Silas again, he’d been the same. Just what was going through his head? Once, so many years ago, she would have known. For the past fifteen years, she hadn’t had a clue. For the gazillionth time, she thought about what might have been if she hadn’t lost their baby. Quickly she shut down those thoughts.

  With a long, blown-out breath, Zack closed the lid of the machine, pushed it deeper onto the side table, stood and rolled his shoulders. His muscles rippled under his black T-shirt. Above the waistband of his khakis, she could glimpse just how flat his stomach still was.

  “Do you do that often?” she asked, feeling wrinkled and rumpled and not as put together as he had always looked no matter what he wore. The lines around Zack’s eyes were deeper now, but other than that he looked…as charismatic and sexy as ever.

  “Work through the night? Oh, yeah. Especially when we’re on deadline.”

  “For a movie?”

  “For a movie, for an edit, for a casting.” He shrugged. “It’s the nature of the business.”

  “Here I thought you lounged in a chaise at the beach most of the time,” she joked.

  He gave her a long considering look. His blue eyes were so direct with an intense focus that hadn’t changed. “My life isn’t what it seems from the outside.”

  “The outside?” She was genuinely curious.

  “What you see and hear. The premieres, the publicity for the movies. It looks as if it isn’t staged, but all of it is.”

  “Even those photos of you on the beach?” She wouldn’t mention the drop-dead gorgeous models and actresses he was always photographed with. “Exactly.”

  Pausing only a second, she prodded, “Does Silas know about your real life, or do you only tell him about the outside?”

  “Dad hears what he wants to hear.”

  “But do you talk about your actual work with him?”

  “You probably know how much we talk. It’s mostly about the weather, his horse buyers, if I’ll be nominated for another Oscar.”

  “If you made a point of telling him…”

  Zack scowled and even that expression was sexy as the corners of his mouth turned down. “You’re not going to be on my back about talking to Dad the whole time I’m here, are you? Because if you are, I’m going to spend most of my time working.”

  If he’d intended to frame that bomb of information into his response, she didn’t know. But she surely realized the implication. “The time you’re here? How long will that be?”

  “We’ll figure it out after he’s back up here giving orders again.”

  “We’re talking about more than a few days?”

  “It depends on his condition. I’ll let you know after I speak with his doctor.”

  For just a moment, Jenny felt her heart fall. She really didn’t have a right to be here, or to any information. No matter she spent every day with Silas, saw his symptoms develop, and cared deeply that they had. She wasn’t a relative. Zack was his son. She was not Silas’s daughter.

  That thought brought to mind the inevitable one of wondering where her own father was right now. Maybe she cared so much about Silas because her own dad didn’t seem to want her to care about him. And she shouldn’t, because he always left…he never stayed. But she did care.

  “What are you thinking?” Zack asked, as he crossed to the sofa where she sat. He moved the magazine she had tried to concentrate on, lowered himself beside her, yet not too close.

  Did he feel any remnant of the attraction that had rippled between them as teenagers? The attraction she felt now? “I’m not thinking. I’m just worried.”

  “Bull. Something was ticking through that pretty head of yours besides worry.”

  His attitude both shook and angered her. “You don’t know me anymore, so don’t try to read me like a mentalist at a carnival.”

  “So you think I don’t know you?” His voice was lower as he said, “When you’re thinking, little frown lines appear right here.”

  He touched the space between her brows and her heart rapped against her ribs.

  “But when you’re worrying—” he slid his finger across the side of her mouth “—this dimple disappears and sometimes your lower lip quivers.”

  She was mesmerized by the pad of his finger on her skin…trembling from skimming her gaze over the breadth of his shoulders, his beard stubble, the past memories in his eyes.

  Grabbing her composure for all she was worth, she straightened her shoulders and leaned back. “You’re making that up.”

  “Nope. You haven’t changed all that much. You grew up fast and were always direct, curious and sassy. Give me one way you’re different now than when you came to live at the Rocky D when you were seventeen.”

  Instead of an off-the-cuff flip reply, she considered his request. “Now I think before I speak. I hope I’ve learned to have as much patience with people as I’ve always had with horses.”

  He smiled and she wished he hadn’t. Zack smiling was almost impossible to resist.

  “You think before you speak and have patience with everyone but me.”

  She was about to protest, to tell him he was all wrong, but she considered what he’d said. “I guess with you, my good intentions get short-circuited.”

  His smile faded. “So tell me what you were thinking.”

  Zack had always been determined. Maybe this time she shouldn’t fight his desire to know. “I was thinking I have no official right to be here…to know Silas’s condition. But I’d like to be included.”

  The cold detachment she’d sensed in Zack when he’d arrived, dissipated altogether. “Of course you’ll be included. Has anyone told you differently?”

  “Oh, no. The staff and doctors have been understanding.”

  Zack was studying her as if he knew old insecurities still haunted her. She couldn’t let him see that sometimes they did
. Most of all, she couldn’t let him see that she was still attracted to him.

  Rising to her feet, she said, “I’m going to get coffee. I’ll bring you a cup.”

  “Black,” he told her as he rose, too, and returned to the laptop.

  He’d always taken his coffee black, but she wouldn’t let him see she remembered that…along with everything else.

  Chapter Two

  When Jenny returned to the waiting room with two cups of coffee, Zack wasn’t there. She didn’t know what to think. Had there been news about Silas? She set down the coffee, noticed Zack’s laptop wasn’t on the table and was about to ask for information at the nurses’ desk when he strode into the waiting room, cell phone in his hand.

  “Is Silas finished?” she asked.

  “Not that I know of. I locked my laptop in the car and went to make a call.” When she glanced at his cell phone, he clipped it onto his belt.

  “Business?” she asked, not sure why she was asking. Maybe she just wanted to probe a little.

  “Actually, no, it wasn’t.”

  “Someone who wondered where you disappeared to?” She knew she shouldn’t be inquiring about this. His life was none of her business, not anymore. Still, she was curious.

  Amused, he asked, “You want details?”

  “Only if you want to get them off your chest.”

  He cast her a wry smile. “No, I don’t think I do.”

  She felt the disappointment like a weight. She should have known better. For all she knew, he was dating three different women at once. That was certainly what the tabloids led everyone to believe. One of the most eligible bachelors in L.A. didn’t need to be married or even in a relationship because he was having too much fun. Though from what he’d said last night—

  He approached her until he stood close enough to touch. “I left L.A. in a rush. I have lots of loose ends that aren’t tied up.”

  Including a relationship with a woman? she wanted to ask, yet didn’t. The one thing she’d learned long ago was never to make the same mistake twice. That was how she’d learned to accept disappointment where her dad was concerned. That was how she’d learned to move on, always looking for a new way to solve a problem, a new way to handle a loss. She’d lost Zack once. She wouldn’t make the mistake of feeling too much for him again. It really was as simple as that. Practice had taught her well. Now she had to just keep her wits about her and pretend that being this near to him didn’t send a tingle of awareness through her body.