He looked at her the way a doting father looks at a loving daughter. “Your promises I believe.”
With a last glance at Zack, he said, “I’ll make that list.”
After Silas had gone, his cane tapping on the hardwood floor down the hall, Zack turned to Jenny, feeling somewhat unnerved by witnessing the bond that had developed between her and his dad. Was he envious of it? Yet how could he be when it had been his choice to put his dad in the recesses of his life for so many years?
“What if he doesn’t feel better in three months?” he challenged her. “What if the way he’s feeling now is as good as it gets? That happens, you know.”
“Maybe so. But I can’t think that way and Silas doesn’t need you thinking that way. We have to encourage him, day by day.” She studied Zack for so long it made him uncomfortable.
“What?”
“I don’t think you’re used to encouraging anyone, are you?”
“That’s not true. I deal with temperamental actors all the time.”
“That isn’t the same thing at all. I’m talking about common kindness, compassion and an optimistic attitude to make someone want to get better, want to do their best in life, not in a make-believe world.”
“Do you think I deal with make-believe? Have you even watched any of my movies?”
That made Jenny’s cheeks flush. “Of course I have. I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right. I know you don’t just produce and direct entertainment. There’s always more than that to it, a bigger cause, an issue under the surface.”
So she’d realized that about him, had she? He didn’t know whether he’d expected her to be perceptive about his motives or not. “That’s one reason why I’m moving into documentaries. I don’t want to hide the cause anymore. I want to go after it. I have the clout and the money to do that now. I can film the stories I want to film.”
“Did you ever think about what you’d be doing if you hadn’t won that award in high school? Where you’d be now?”
He couldn’t tell if she was really asking about them or his life in general. Anytime they got near the personal, the vibrations between them picked up, the attraction he still felt for her ignited. “I still would have found a way to get to L.A. with or without my dad’s approval, with or without his money. You know that. It was that important for me to get away from here and find a life of my own.”
“And what if your career hadn’t worked out so well? What if success hadn’t come easy?”
“Easy? Is that really what you think?”
Moving around the bar, she helped him pull bottles from the cupboard. “It seemed like it. You went to film school, then you were directing your first movie which was a hit. Then you directed another and then another.”
When Zack reached into the cupboard, his shoulder grazed hers and a jolt of awareness hit him in the gut. He leaned away before she could see how that minor contact rocked him.
Clearing his throat, he said, “It did seem like that from the outside, didn’t it? That first film was a technical success, but not an industry success. For a year I worked in the stables outside of Anaheim to make money to keep a one-room apartment. I was still sending out résumés, reading scripts, thinking about what to do to make a career work. I directed a rock video that caught notice and put me in touch with the right people. One of them hired me as an assistant director. After that, I worked day and night, took any project I thought would get some notice until finally, I got my chance. A director backed out and I was in. That movie was an industry success. That movie won me my first Oscar.”
“I never knew you had to work so hard. Did Silas know?”
“Are you kidding? When I left, he told me he knew I’d come running back with my tail between my legs. There was no way in hell I wasn’t going to make my life out there work.”
And he’d been willing to make the two of them work, too. If only Jenny had come with him. If only she had tried, maybe then he wouldn’t still feel resentment and bitterness along with an attraction that wouldn’t fade. The sooner he was back in L.A. again, the better. But he’d made his father a promise, to stay here long enough so Jenny wouldn’t have the burden of running the Rocky D all on her own. He regretted that promise now. Looking into Jenny’s soft brown eyes, feeling his body respond to her, he knew his stay was going to be nothing but torture—on many fronts.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly. “You look…angry.”
“You don’t want to know.”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Did you ever imagine what your life might have been like if you had come with me?”
She looked surprised, as if she’d never expected that question to pop up. “I…I never wanted that kind of life.”
“How did you know when you hadn’t tried it?” Then he lifted his hand in a dismissive gesture. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked. During those couple of tough years, you wouldn’t have stuck by me. I know what you went through with your dad. You would have thought it was just more of the same.”
She looked as if he’d slapped her. There was real hurt in her eyes. He’d never meant to cause that. Or had he? Did he want her to feel the same pain he’d felt when she said she couldn’t go with him? This was so ridiculous, revisiting history that couldn’t be rewritten.
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. We made the decisions we did.”
In a quiet voice, she asked, “Where has your heart gone, Zack? You talk as if you have nothing but your work. Is that the way it is?”
“Work is everything, isn’t it, Jenny? Isn’t that why you stay here? What else do you have?”
She was quick to answer. “I have Silas. I also have friends and a sense of belonging in Miners Bluff. I have a life here, Zack. All of that is more important to me than just work.”
Zack’s cell phone buzzed and he was actually relieved for the interruption. Taking it from his belt, he checked the caller ID. “Speaking of friends, it’s Dawson. He’s returning my call. I’d better take this.”
Jenny studied him as if she hadn’t expected him to stay in touch with old friends.
He explained quickly, “Dawson, Clay and I kept in touch over the years. Dawson flies out for Lakers games now and then. Clay sends me photos and video clips of Abby. I can’t believe she’s growing as fast as she is.”
He opened his cell and would have passed Jenny without a glance, but she caught his arm, saying, “You stay. I’ll go.” The impression of her fingers burned through his sweater. The room felt hot and he knew it was definitely time to put distance between the two of them.
She hesitated as if she wanted to say so much more, but clearly thought better of it as she released his arm. “I’ll see how Silas is making out with that list.”
Zack wished she would take his memories and regrets with her.
“Hey, Dawson,” Zack said, watching Jenny leave the room. The scent of jasmine that always seemed to surround her still lingered in the air.
“Sorry for the phone tag,” Dawson apologized. “Construction’s picking up again and we’re swamped.”
“How’s Luke?”
There was a long hesitation on Dawson’s part, as if he didn’t talk about his son easily these days. It had been over a year and a half since Dawson’s wife died and Zack knew the boy was having problems getting over his mom’s death. Dawson had talked to him about it when Luke’s school grades had tanked, when he’d started getting in trouble, when Dawson was at his wit’s end because counselors hadn’t seemed able to help.
“That’s why I’m calling, Zack. Come January and the start of a new school term, I’m going to move us back to Miners Bluff.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No, I’m not. I’ve been considering it ever since I spoke to Mikala Conti at the reunion. You know she’s a music therapist.”
“I knew she was a counselor. I just didn’t realize what her specialty was.”
“Luke is into music. He spends more time with the piano and his iPod than with schoolwork or with me. When I mentioned that to Mikala, she said it could be a starting point. I’m willing to give anything a shot. Nothing here is helping.”
Zack knew Dawson’s life in Phoenix was high stress, long hours, with lots of monetary rewards. He had a huge house in Fountain Hills and more money than he’d ever need. But money wasn’t doing his son any good.
“Luke needs a supportive community around him,” Dawson continued. “And Mikala has a high success rate, according to the psychologist who has been treating Luke here. If Mikala could just get him started turning around so that he and I could at least communicate, that would mean everything.”
“What about the business?”
“I can handle it lots of ways. Dad’s a great manager when it comes to my crews. I can run everything long distance, at least temporarily. I have to try this, Zack, because I don’t know what else to do. It’s the first time in my life I’ve felt powerless. I hate it.”
Dawson was the CEO of his own construction company. He handled workers, payrolls, new design projects, architects. Zack had an idea of his frustration now.
“I’m back in Miners Bluff for the moment,” he revealed to his friend.
“You’re kidding! You’ve been away for years, now suddenly two visits in a few months? What happened?”
“Dad had a heart attack.”
“Zack, I’m sorry. How is he?”
“He just came home today. I’m going to be here for the next few weeks, so if there’s anything you need to know before you make the move, just give me a call.”
“Do you have work to keep you busy while you’re there?”
“Some. There’s a new project I’m thinking about doing. I can do a lot of the research from here.”
“Give your dad my regards.”
“I’ll do that. And you call me if you need anything.”
“I will. I’ll be driving up there some time after the first of the year to look at the school. If you’re still there—”
“No way will I still be here.”
Dawson chuckled. “Try not to go stir crazy. I’ll give you a call in a couple of weeks to see how your dad is.”
“Thanks, Dawson. I’ll talk to you soon.”
Zack closed his phone and clipped it onto his belt, wishing he could do something concrete to help his friend. He couldn’t imagine having a child and watching him suffer.
He hadn’t thought much about being a father…until now. He didn’t date women who had motherhood on their minds. Maybe he should think about dating a different type of woman. A woman like…
Jenny?
No, he told himself. They were over.
Chapter Three
Golden sunrise drifted over the pastures of the Rocky D, defying the colder weather that had moved in since the beginning of November. Jenny loved early mornings this time of year, when one season teetered on the brink of another. This early, Silas’s three permanent hands, Hank, Tate and Ben, were already at work. The horses weren’t yet restless to be let out, to be let free. She could forget about what problems the day might bring with Zack and Silas under the same roof and have some time for herself.
She led Songbird from her stall, rubbed her nose and asked conversationally, “Ready for a rough and tumble ride?”
“And just what is a rough and tumble ride?” a deep male voice asked from behind.
Jenny turned and saw Zack coming down the walkway. “You’re up early,” she said lightly, ignoring her racing heart.
“I usually am. I thought I’d go for a ride instead of doing an early-morning workout. Mind if I join you?”
Had anyone told Zack she rode every morning? Had he come out here purposely to talk to her about something? He seemed to be waiting for an answer so she responded, “I don’t mind. Which horse would you like?”
“Tattoo.”
He’d already picked one out? “How do you know you’re compatible?”
He laughed. “Only you would ask something like that. I was down here last night. Tattoo and I struck up a conversation and we’re well along to becoming friends. So…any problem with me taking him out?”
“No.” She hesitated, then asked, “Why did you come down here last night?” When he gave her a studying look, she said, “Sorry, none of my business, I guess.”
“It was after dinner. You were discussing new recipes with Martha. Dad was on the phone with Clay’s father. I thought I’d take a look around. Everything’s been kept up well. I noticed the mares’ barn had a new roof.”
“Last year.”
“Are you still attracting clients from across the country who want cutting horses for competitions?”
“Yes.”
“And the boarders’ barn is full.”
“Always.”
Zack had to pass her to reach Tattoo’s stall. He was dressed in jeans, boots and a sheepskin jacket this morning.
“You couldn’t have brought that along,” she said gesturing to his coat.
“Nope. It was hanging in the closet in my old room. I’d forgotten about it. It was huge when Mom bought it for me. Now it fits.”
Jenny could almost see the memories in Zack’s eyes, some bittersweet, some warm and some painful. She wasn’t sure what to say.
“We can talk about her, Jen. All my memories of her have been limited to the photographs I took along and the videos I made. I have never had anyone to talk to about her. Do you know what I mean?”
“I do. I mean I talk to Dad about Mom when he’s around, which isn’t often, but I don’t really have anything of hers except the funny hat she used to wear to church. I took it from the bag Dad was giving to Goodwill after she died. I know things are just things, but they seem to mean a lot after someone’s gone. The pearl earrings your mom gave me for high school graduation are one of my prized possessions.”
“You wore them the night of the reunion.”
“You noticed?”
The quiet of the stables seemed to breed intimacy, and this morning was no different. This was the everyday barn, where favorite horses were lodged, where personal tack was kept, where the hayloft up above whispered about the kisses shared there when she and Zack were teenagers. And not only kisses. On that graduation night—
“I noticed,” he responded, and she didn’t know now if they were talking about earrings or so much more. This was dangerous territory for both of them. Especially for her. Since his return, her secret seemed to be on the tip of her tongue, ready to spill out. But there was no reason to tell him about her pregnancy and miscarriage…no reason to hurt him with something they couldn’t change. With him standing there, looking down at her, all brawny and handsome in the sheepskin jacket and jeans, she knew she needed some cool air to capture her equilibrium once again.
“Let’s saddle up,” she suggested a bit shakily.
Zack just gave her an imperceptible nod and moved away.
Ten minutes later they were on the trail. This time of year, the most impressive aspect of the landscape was the mountains in the distance—Moonshadow Mountain and beyond it, Feather Peak.
“Have you ridden to Horsethief Canyon lately?” Zack asked.
Horsethief Canyon led up to Feather Peak. She and Zack had spent time there as teenagers, exploring, hiking, making out.
“No, not lately. Celeste and Clay have. They spent a honeymoon weekend there.”
“You were at their wedding?”
“In their wedding. It was beautiful. They exchanged vows in Clay’s backyard even though his parents probably would have preferred something more elaborate.”
“Clay was always good at standing up to his dad.”
“I think he and Mr. Sullivan have come to a new understanding since he and Celeste married.”
They rode along the fence line until it gave way to rockier terrain. Both horses snorted as if begging to be let loose. Jenny felt the same way. Riding side by side with Za
ck, she felt edgy, awkward, unlike herself.
“So how about that rough and tumble ride?” he asked with a grin that could always make her breath hitch.
She tossed him a smile over her shoulder and then took off.
She heard Tattoo’s hooves behind her steadily, easily keeping up, not trying to overtake her. She thought this might become a race, but Zack wasn’t racing. When she cast a glance back at him, he looked intense as he usually did, but also as if he was having a good time.
The morning cold reddened her cheeks, numbed her nose, cooled her breath, but she loved every exhilarating moment of it. Zack galloped past her at one point and she strove to overtake him again, but she couldn’t. He didn’t just keep riding ahead, however. At a grove of pines he reined in his horse and waited for her. She knew this stand of trees quite well. She and Zack had sought their shade and cool comfort that final spring, when everything just seemed to be beginning. His face was ruddy, too, now from the cold, his hair windblown, his sheepskin collar turned up against the breeze.
“This is magnificent country,” he said, almost to himself.
“I can’t imagine anywhere as beautiful as this.” The sky was already topaz-blue, devoid of clouds, hovering protectively over the landscape.
“Do you want to dismount for a few minutes? The trees will provide a buffer against the wind.”
Something about being on the ground within the barrier of trees where they’d once spent time seemed dangerous to Jenny. Yet she wasn’t going to be a coward about this. She’d just be very careful.
Zack tethered his horse to a low-slung branch and waited as she did the same. Then in the golden morning light, he found the old path covered with pine needles and dried leaves from the aspen in the not-too-far distance. There was a hushed quality within the grove that Jenny had always liked, that gave her a sense of peace.
Zack followed the path until they were deep inside the grove where sunlight and shadows dappled the ground.
“Soon this could be covered in snow,” she reminded him. “If we’ve had a snowfall, sometimes after the kids finish their lessons, we come out here and play. They bring their saucers and tubes, and it’s great fun.”
Once Upon a Groom Page 4