Normally she’d operate on autopilot and use the time to think about other things. Today she cleaned his stall with one eye on him, fully aware of where the rake was in case she needed to hold it up in defence. He was now standing quite steadily on all four legs so his back end was a potential source of danger as well. She couldn’t really blame the horse. He hated being confined and his injury meant he couldn’t lie down and stretch out to sleep, which was his preference. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to get up again. Thankfully, he’d had the sense not to try.
‘Not long now, mate,’ she said. Tomorrow they were planning to take him out for the first time and see how he coped. Will had been adamant that a sound recovery depended on taking it slow. As hard as it was to be patient, they just had to be.
Jack and Claire held their breath as Maddie opened the gate to lead Paycheque out. Claire crossed her fingers as he peered about, looked down, and took his first step into the grey day outside. He stumbled slightly but recovered as he went from the soft sawdust up onto the paving. He walked with a pronounced limp but was stable enough on his legs. He snorted, tossed his head and snatched at his lead rope. He held his head high and, with his nostrils flared, took in the sights, sounds and smells around him, as if experiencing them for the first time.
‘So far, so good,’ Jack said.
‘Hmm,’ Claire agreed absently. She was thinking that she’d like the trigger-happy vet to be here seeing this.
‘I’ll let him have a bit of a graze,’ Maddie said.
‘Good idea. Take your time,’ Jack said. ‘Then we’ll see how he goes with the spa.’
Claire hummed as she made dinner. She was excited at Paycheque’s progress and couldn’t wait for Will to see him at the end of the week. Hopefully he’d be ready for being led on a proper walk rather than just grazing. The gruelling schedule of massage and acupressure, which was now starting to taper off, had really made a difference. Claire felt a little guilty at her suspended friendships with Bernie and David, and Derek. They’d had a hand in it and should really be sharing the joy, too. She was surprised neither Jack nor Maddie had mentioned any of their names at all.
‘I declare the wee chappy well on the road to recovery,’ Will announced late Friday evening. They all shared grins. They’d done it: they’d saved Paycheque. Now they just had to get him back racing. Claire thought of sending Bernadette a text to tell her, but didn’t. They hadn’t been in touch for a week.
By the middle of the next week, Paycheque was being led on soft ground for an hour a day, followed by spa treatment. A couple of times he’d got a fright and darted sideways. But he always recovered fine. His limp was becoming less pronounced. The bandages supporting his other legs came off.
He was starting to pull at the lead, jog, try to break into a trot. It was a sign he was ready to get more active. Soon they could reduce the acupressure to once or twice daily.
Maddie was tasked with Paycheque’s slow return to training. The following week she planned to start leading him from the ute, and hopefully by the end of the month he’d be strong enough to again have her on his back. It was amazing given the original vet’s diagnosis.
Claire really wished she had someone to share the excitement with other than Jack and Maddie. She thought about Bernie a lot when she did Paycheque’s massage and acupressure. They hadn’t gone this long without speaking since they’d met.
A couple of times at night she’d picked up the phone to call her but found she couldn’t do it. She’d gone to David’s café for their usual weekly lunch, all set to apologise and beg forgiveness. But someone else had been at their table and she’d left without a word to anyone. She’d driven past the nursery to see if Bernie’s car was there. It wasn’t. Her heart was heavy as she made her way back home.
She still hadn’t heard from Derek, either. Claire decided she was a little old-fashioned when it came to men – would rather he was the one to do the chasing, the contacting, if there was any to be done. Anyway, he was in Sydney. No doubt too busy with meetings and dinners to call.
It made it worse that Derek’s cats Terry and Sandy were now living permanently at the farm with Maddie and Jack. Every time she saw them she was reminded of the lovely day they’d had sitting in front of the fire, eating frittata and drinking wine. Her heart ached for him more with each passing day.
Claire was standing outside Paycheque’s stall, about to leave for the day, when Jack and Maddie approached. They stood side by side. Claire looked from one to the other.
‘We need a word,’ Jack said.
‘About what?’
‘This tension, Claire. It’s got to end.’
‘Tension? What tension?’
‘This fight you’re having with Bernie and Derek.’
‘It’s none of your business.’
‘It is when it’s affecting your work here.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re distracted, you’re making mistakes.’
‘What mistakes? I haven’t made any mistakes.’
‘You gave Howie the wrong feed last night,’ Maddie said quietly. ‘I noticed just in time.’
‘You packed the wrong bridle for Larry to go to Strath.’
‘I did not!’
‘You did. There’s no point arguing! This fighting with Bernie and Derek has to stop.’
Or what? Claire wanted to ask. She inspected her boots as they scratched at the pavers.
‘Bernie’s practically family. I saw her in town the other day and she’s as miserable as you. And Derek seemed pretty keen on you.’
‘He is,’ Maddie said. ‘And he’s a mess – but you didn’t hear that from me.’
‘They could call me.’
‘They’ve tried – you didn’t take their calls, remember?’
‘Or call them back,’ Maddie added.
‘I would have if they’d left a message. So you’ve both been discussing me behind my back – with both of them? How could you?’
‘Because someone has to sort this tiff out and you’re clearly not going to.’
‘I was going to phone them both tonight as a matter of fact. And anyway, it’s a little more than a tiff, Dad.’
‘They tried to take the pressure off you – give you a nice day out away from things. It’s time to admit that you completely overreacted, Claire. And quite frankly, it’s a little late for phone calls.’
‘So, what do you propose I do?’
‘We’re having a barbeque here tomorrow evening. Which you are going to attend.’
‘And if I don’t?’
‘Well then you’re fired.’
‘You can’t do that!’
‘I can and I will.’
Claire stared at her father. The look she saw on his face she’d never seen before. He was deadly serious. She looked at Maddie who looked at the ground.
‘So, Derek and Bernie and David are coming?’
‘And Bill and Daphne.’
‘So, I kiss and make up – or else.’
‘Yes, because this is not just about you. It’s affecting all of us.’
Maddie, who was still staring at the ground, nodded.
‘Look, no one’s forcing you to be in a romantic relationship with Derek if you don’t want one. But you need to be at least civil – we’re in business with the man. You’re making things very awkward for Maddie here. And have you thought that maybe I miss Bernie too? As I said, she’s practically family.’
Claire sighed. ‘Okay.’
Both Maddie and Jack visibly relaxed.
Claire drove home feeling as though a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. They were absolutely right. Things could not go on as they were. She was actually a little relieved that it had been taken off her hands.
That night, after she’d eaten and had her shower, Claire curled up in front of the television with the cats on her lap. But after a few minutes, unable to focus on what she was watching, she reached for her phone sitting on the coffee table.
‘Hi.’
‘Bernie, I’m so sorry. I know you were just trying to help. And I really did overreact. I don’t know why. And I’ve behaved like a complete dickhead ever since. I’m really, really sorry.’
‘Me too, Claire. I’ve been such a stubborn idiot.’
‘I’ve missed you so much.’
‘Me too.’
‘My life isn’t as good without you.’
‘Mine either.’
‘So, truce?’
‘Truce,’ said Bernie.
‘Lunch again next week?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘How’s David?’
‘He’s good – you’ll see him tomorrow night.’
‘Ah, yes. The intervention barbeque.’
‘Claire, I’m so glad you called.’
‘Well least it won’t be so awkward now. But we could always pretend – just to mess with Jack and Maddie.’
‘No, I think the ice you’re standing on is way too thin for that.’
‘Bernie?’
‘Yes?’
‘Did I hear you admit to being stubborn just before?’
‘Yes. I can admit to my failings, unlike some of us.’
‘Touché. I deserved that.’
‘Yes, you did. Have you spoken to Derek yet?’
‘No, I’m going to call him now.’
‘Promise?’
‘I promise.’
‘Okay, I’m going now. See you tomorrow night.’
‘Bye. And thanks Bernie.’
‘Thanks yourself. Now go and call Derek!’
Claire’s fingers shook as she dialled Derek’s number. What if he didn’t want to talk to her? But he’d agreed to come to the barbeque, hadn’t he? So he couldn’t totally hate her.
‘Claire.’
‘Hi Derek.’
‘How are you?’
‘Okay. And you?’
‘Well I’ve been better.’
‘Me too.’
There was a brief silence.
‘Claire, I’m so glad you called. I miss you – I really miss you.’
‘Me too, Derek. I’m so sorry.’
‘Me too. Claire?’
‘Yes?’
‘Can I ask a favour?’
‘I suppose so, what?’
‘Can we do this in person? Can I come over?’
‘Oh. Okay.’
‘I’ll be ten minutes, just hold that thought.’
‘Right. Okay. See you then.’
Claire was in a flutter of excitement and nerves when Derek knocked on her door. He stood on the step holding a bunch of red roses. She accepted them with a frown, wondering where he’d managed to find flowers this late.
‘Bit the worse for wear, I’m afraid,’ he said apologetically. ‘I bought them a couple of days ago but chickened out.’
‘Oh, no. I was wondering where you’d got roses from around here this time of night. They’re lovely. Thank you.’
‘Well they were lovely.’
‘It’s the thought that counts,’ she said, beaming at him. ‘Let me just put them in some water.’
In the kitchen, Claire was pleased to have the distraction of selecting a suitable vase and filling it with water. It wasn’t going how she’d imagined at all. There’d been no falling into arms, apologising and begging forgiveness. Derek had barely moved from the doorway, just stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
‘There we are,’ she said, putting the heavy cut crystal vase on the sideboard at the edge of the room. She went over to him. ‘Derek. I’m really so very sorry.’
‘I know. It’s already been said.’
‘Yes. But…’
‘So, where’s my hug then? Apologies I can get over the phone.
What I need is to feel you.’
Claire put her arms around him and they embraced tightly. Derek kissed her hair.
‘Being away from you has been hell, Claire. I never thought it would hurt so much.’
‘Hmm. Me too.’
He held her away from him and stared into her face. ‘Claire. I love you. I don’t want to live without you in my life.’
‘Me too, Derek.’ Claire smiled back at him.
They hugged again. As they did, Claire wondered when she’d be able to utter those three little words again. But right now she knew it didn’t matter. What mattered was that she had Bernie and Derek back, and that she wasn’t going to stuff up like that again.
They sat entwined on Claire’s couch catching up on each other’s lives. After a while Claire was stopped mid-sentence while telling of Paycheque’s progress by Derek’s mouth upon hers. They kissed passionately, drinking in each other’s souls. After what seemed hours, Claire eased herself out of his clutches and stood up. Avoiding looking him in the eye, she gently grasped his hand and led him down the hall towards the bedroom.
They slowly peeled each other’s clothes off and got beneath the covers. Claire trembled at Derek’s touch and he murmured at hers as they explored each other for the first time.
‘Thank you. That was lovely,’ Derek said later, raising himself on an elbow and kissing her gently on the lips.
‘Mmm. It was. Thank you.’
‘So. No regrets?’
‘No. You?’
‘Are you kidding? You’re lovely.’
They smiled at each other and then fell into a tight hug. Claire liked the feel of their bare skin.
‘I love you, Derek Anderson,’ Claire said into his chest.
‘And I love you, Claire McIntyre.’
The next evening, Claire was at the farmhouse helping Maddie and Jack get ready for the barbecue when they heard a car pull up out front. She hadn’t mentioned reconciling with her friends to them.
‘That’s Dad,’ Maddie said, looking out the dining room window.
‘I’ll go,’ Claire said, and started wiping her hands on a tea towel.
‘Are you sure?’ Jack and Maddie asked at the same time.
‘Yep.’ As she turned and practically ran to the back door she noticed an exchange of worried glances between them.
‘Hello sexy,’ she said to Derek, just loud enough to be heard in the kitchen.
‘Hello yourself.’ They hugged and kissed briefly.
‘Come in. We’re just doing a few last minute things. You’re the first to arrive.’
In the kitchen, Jack and Maddie were staring at each other in disbelief. She grinned at them and wound her arm through Derek’s.
‘Think we’ve been had, young Maddie,’ Jack said.
‘Looks like it, Jack.’
When Bernie and David arrived half an hour later, Claire hugged her friend long and tight. This time Jack and Maddie weren’t so surprised. David hugged her and whispered that he was so glad they’d sorted things out.
‘Bernie has been miserable and I’ve missed you terribly. And the café is missing the revenue from your weekly lunches and random cheesecake crisis meetings.’
They enjoyed a chuckle and another hug before moving through to the dining room.
Bill and Daphne arrived soon after, and Daphne puffed up with pride at seeing Jack wearing her hand-knitted jumper, and fairly glowed when he insisted it was his favourite.
When they were seated, Jack held up his glass of wine and proposed a toast: ‘To good family, friends and neighbours.’
‘To good family, friends and neighbours,’ they all responded and clinked glasses.
Claire glanced around the table. They were indeed very lucky. With Paycheque’s recovery going so well, and the other horses coming along nicely, life was looking pretty good again.
Chapter Thirty–eight
Claire had spent ages dreading her birthday. Not because she was scared of getting old, but because her life was finally going really well and she didn’t want to jinx it. The last thing she needed was to get all sad about Keith again. It wasn’t fair on Derek and it wasn’t fair on her. She’d been doing so well f
ocussing on the present and the future and leaving all the bad that had happened behind.
Claire rolled over and faced Derek’s empty side of the bed. Things were now working well between them. They had shared interests, separate interests, were best friends, and made the best love. It was early days, but daydreaming while out riding, Claire often got mental images of them old and shuffling around the house in their slippers, looking over bifocals to discuss something or other in the paper. The fact that it didn’t scare her was what scared her!
Claire loved how considerate Derek was. She knew he would do almost anything for her. Looking back, she was sure she’d never felt that about Keith, or any relationship before him. Whenever they had time during the week or on weekends, whoever woke first got them both coffee in bed. It was a tradition Claire loved, especially because she was usually the last to wake. She knew that Derek knew she sometimes pretended to be asleep, but he didn’t seem to mind. He often said he liked to make his girl happy. It was like having the best of both worlds. They had the passion of lovesick teenagers and the care and consideration of a couple who had been married forever.
The other light in Claire’s life was the horses – especially Paycheque. She saw his recovery as miraculous, despite Will saying that there’d never been any doubt. The horse had slowly returned to training and would soon have his first proper gallop. They’d do it when Will could be there. He now spent a lot of his spare time in the Adelaide Hills visiting David and Bernadette, regularly dropping in to check on his star patient. Jack had practically accepted him as another member of the family.
Claire smiled at Derek as he sat on the side of the bed, pulled his socks off, and took a long sip of coffee before sliding his feet beneath the sheets and snuggling down. She turned and picked up her cup, and noticed a wrapped parcel the size of a tissue box beside it. She grinned at Derek who raised his eyebrows before returning to sipping his coffee.
‘Oh, thank you,’ she cried, leaning over to hug and kiss him.
‘You’d better open it first, you might not like it.’
With Keith and every boyfriend before him, she’d opened presents while focussing on the mantra, ‘It’s the thought that counts, it’s the thought that counts’. Gifts always seemed to be one extreme or the other: totally practical and boring, or jewellery she had to pretend to love. She cringed at the memory of the last gift Keith had given her: a leaf blower for the garden. She ignored the twinge of guilt and returned her attention to the package on her lap.
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