This was the first major gift-giving occasion for her and Derek, but she just knew it would be perfect. He was a true romantic. Since their blow-up, she’d come to realise that Derek really did understand her like no one else ever had. He would often turn up with flowers or chocolates for no other reason than that he loved her.
Claire picked up the parcel and curbed her instinct to shake the box. Wrapped so beautifully, it was a shame to untie the mass of pink, purple and silver entwined bows.
‘It’s too pretty to destroy,’ she said.
Derek shrugged. ‘There are no rules to say you have to open it, but I did put a bit of thought into choosing the contents.’ He took another sip of coffee.
‘Oh well, I’d better open it then, hadn’t I?’
‘Go on, do it for me.’
Carefully Claire pulled the ribbons apart and tossed them to Bill and Ben, who had been eagerly watching the flailing ends.
The cats had been desexed, which had calmed them down considerably. They were now large, reformed characters who no longer tried to destroy furniture with their claws, nor linen with wayward toilet habits. Derek had helped Claire install a cat door, which meant they now spent their days lounging around inside or out fossicking in the garden, and their nights sprawled across the end of Claire’s bed.
The silver wrap came off to reveal a plain purple unmarked box. Claire opened it to find a box about half the size and wrapped with equal care and precision. She rolled her eyes at Derek in mock exasperation. He shrugged again. Claire tore off the plain pink gloss wrap expecting the ‘pass the parcel’ theme to continue. Instead she found a plain business-sized envelope. She blinked in slight surprise, picked it up, turned it over and pulled the seal apart. The contents were two plane tickets – one in her name, the other in Derek’s – to Kangaroo Island. The date was today’s. Shit! She couldn’t just drop everything at a moment’s notice. Or could she? Of course I can, she told herself.
‘Wow, it’s wonderful. Thank you,’ she cried, reaching over and embracing Derek.
‘Happy birthday, darling. Hope you don’t mind sharing with me,’ he murmured, rolling Claire over and beginning to kiss his way down her body.
‘Mmm, not at all,’ she murmured back, already aroused and responding to his gentle touch.
As if on cue, the phone started ringing moments after Claire had finished in the shower and Derek had stepped in. Jack rang, and then put Maddie on to wish her a good day, and then Bernadette called and Claire had to break the news she wouldn’t be able to have dinner with them as planned. She felt dreadful and said so, but Bernie didn’t seem to mind, and David sounded like he hadn’t even decided on what to cook.
Claire was packing her carry-on bag when Derek appeared and began snuggling her neck. ‘Darling, we’re only going for one weekend,’ he purred.
Claire was excited and only the tiniest bit apprehensive. She was still only a beginner ‘go with the flow’ girl, but with Derek she felt safe enough to be spontaneous. He seemed to understand where her anxieties lay, always mapping everything out and encouraging her to keep pushing beyond her comfort zone. Today her only concern was for Bill and Ben, who Derek had already sorted: Maddie had been charged with dropping by to care for them.
She’d never admit it aloud, but Claire McIntyre was beginning to like the idea of someone else making the decisions.
‘What fun!’ she said, as they parked Derek’s car in the long-term car park. Claire loved everything about flying, even the food. She hadn’t been in a plane since she’d left her office job. It was one of the few things she missed.
As they unloaded the boot, she noticed Derek check his watch and bite his lip.
‘Is there something wrong?’
‘Sorry? Oh no, just trying to remember if I packed my toothbrush.’ Claire thought it odd – Derek was such a seasoned traveller, surely a toothbrush was the last thing he’d forget.
‘If not, you can borrow mine,’ she offered, cringing at the thought as she did. It was weird; they probably swapped all sorts of bacteria when they kissed, but the thought of sharing a toothbrush still made her feel uncomfortable.
They got to the terminal and Derek was still uneasy. For some reason he also seemed to be stalling. Claire could see the check-in line growing.
‘Come on, quick,’ she said, tugging at his hand. ‘Before that tour group gets here.’
‘There’s plenty of time,’ he said, standing his ground but still looking edgy.
‘What are you waiting for?’
Just then Derek’s phone chirped and he answered it. He looked relieved. Claire turned away to give him his privacy. She was a little annoyed – she wanted to make the most of the airline’s lounge. She loved the free open bar and buffet of nibbles. Claire sighed. The little things were what she missed the most from her corporate life. But then she hadn’t been able to sleep in every second day, regularly indulge in long lunches or spend so much time in the garden. Life was full of compromises. And she wouldn’t change what she had now for quids.
Shit! Claire stiffened. She wouldn’t miss Paycheque’s first full gallop, would she? No, Jack wouldn’t let that happen. Actually, hadn’t Will said he had something else on and couldn’t make it that weekend? They’d been adamant to wait until Will was there in case anything went wrong. Claire shook her head at the memory of Paycheque that night after his accident. Thank God they hadn’t taken the first vet’s advice, and thank goodness David had known Will.
Ah, David. She’d certainly been wrong about him. When Bernadette had finally finished telling Claire the whole story only a few weeks ago, it all made sense. When some people lose someone they love, they pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get on with life.
And then there were those, like David, who made the decision to never get back on the bicycle again. David had lost his fiancée, Caroline, to cancer, and had withdrawn from everything familiar. He’d sold the successful corporate gift basket business he and Caroline had run in the city, and moved to the country. He’d let people believe he was gay so he wouldn’t meet another woman and risk having to fully open himself up emotionally again. It had worked well until he’d been befriended by Bernadette and then Claire. Reverse psychology had worked its magic.
Trust Bernadette to sort him out, Claire thought, smiling to herself.
Claire was brought back to the reality of PA announcements and people bustling about her and by the snapping shut of Derek’s mobile. He was looking around as if he were waiting for someone. Claire cringed, hoping he hadn’t arranged to meet one of their old colleagues. That would be awkward.
Just then, Derek turned and gave her a peck on the lips, his big smile lighting up his full, handsome features. She was about to ask about the call when she heard familiar voices and turned around to see Bernadette running awkwardly, red hair fanning out behind her. She dragged a suitcase on wheels with one hand and David with the other.
‘Sorry we’re late – there was an accident on the freeway by the tunnel,’ Bernie cried breathlessly.
Claire stared from her friends’ faces down to their suitcases. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked.
‘Haven’t you told her, Derek? Remember how Claire hates surprises,’ she added with a knowing grin.
Claire rolled her eyes at her friend.
‘She’s getting used to them, aren’t you darling?’
Claire nodded dumbly. David regained his composure, and breath, and pecked her on the cheek.
‘Happy Birthday – again.’
‘Thanks. So, are we all going to K.I. or is there some other surprise going on here?’
‘Ooh, I see what you mean. You really are turning her into a “go with the flow” kind of girl,’ Bernadette said, nudging Derek.
‘I don’t care what we’re doing as long as we make the most of the free grog and nibblies in the lounge. Come on, I’m looking forward to a gin and tonic,’ Claire said, making her way to the end of the queue, leaving her friends to exchange bemus
ed smirks before bolting to catch up.
Claire sat back, buckled her seatbelt and awaited the safety demonstrations. She was suddenly very weary. Their weekend had been jam-packed with trying to see as much as they could fit in.
They’d consulted the tourist brochure and decided to try and visit all the natural sites. But in the end they got sidetracked by wineries, art galleries, a honey farm and a sheep dairy. While she’d really enjoyed what they’d done, Claire was a little disappointed that they hadn’t got to the other end of the island. Derek promised to bring her back for her next birthday, and David and Bernadette had joined in on the pact.
In the car on the way from the airport to the Adelaide Hills, she was glad they’d taken the extra day and come back on Monday morning. Jack had called to say Will was available that afternoon and they’d decided the time was right to put Paycheque through his paces. She was both excited and apprehensive.
Jack, Will, David, Bernie, Derek and Claire were standing at the fence down the long side of the paddock they used as a racetrack. Maddie warmed Paycheque up and then did a lap at a fast canter.
‘Righto, open him up,’ Jack called, as she went past them to start her second lap. They watched as Maddie crouched low and then, as if he were a spring uncoiling slowly, Paycheque’s stride lengthened and he shot forward. His stride went from three beats to four where all four hooves left the ground for an instant. After three months, Paycheque was finally galloping again. Claire bit her trembling lip. She, Jack and Will watched through binoculars for the slightest sign his injury wasn’t holding up, as he and Maddie made their way around the far side of the paddock. Claire let out a sigh of relief as they went past again. Everything was still looking good.
‘Pretty good time, too,’ Derek said, holding out a stopwatch for Claire to see.
‘Look Dad.’
‘Not bad,’ Jack said, nodding.
‘Not bad? It’s bloody brilliant!’
At the far side of the paddock Maddie brought the horse gradually back into a steady canter and then a trot. Will had warned her not to pull him up too quickly and risk jarring his tendon. Finally the bystanders had stopped leaping about hugging each other and crying out with excitement and delight, and were calmly chatting amongst themselves when Maddie came to a halt in front. They clambered around her, some patting the horse, others patting Maddie on the legs.
Back at the stable they all stood around while Will gave him a going-over. They all held their breath as he stood up, stretched his back and patted the horse on the neck before declaring him sound. They erupted into cheers, startling the poor little horse.
Jack grinned. ‘Think it’s time to break out the champagne.’
They were sitting, waiting for two batches of Claire’s soup to defrost in the microwave, when Jack cleared his throat and began to speak.
‘Derek, now you’re almost part of the family, I was wondering if I could pick your brain.’
‘Sure.’
‘It’s about the Spring Carnival.’
‘Yes?’
‘Well have you entered for any of the spring races over in Melbourne?’
‘Cavalcade is qualified for the Cox and I’ve got Humble entered in the Caulfield, but he’s yet to qualify – you?’
‘We’ve never gone before but I’ve been thinking about it – you only live once.’
‘Really? You didn’t tell me,’ Claire said, pouting.
‘Jeez Claire, give a bloke a chance. I only opened the latest newsletter over the weekend and saw the reminder that nominations were due soon. You were away, remember?’
‘But the cost, the logistics. Even if we could afford it, where would we stay?’
‘That’s what I wanted to discuss with Derek. Old Scrubber Fitzpatrick has been offering me his stables forever, but I’ve never had the talent worth taking. I reckon both Howie and Paycheque might just be the ones.’
‘I agree,’ Derek said.
‘But the fees,’ Claire said. ‘Final declaration for the Caulfield Cup alone is over twenty grand. And then you’ve got all the other costs. We just don’t have that sort of money, Dad.’
‘I’d be happy to help out.’
‘Derek, we can’t…’
‘Claire’s right. Derek, it’s very kind of you to offer but we couldn’t.’
Claire got up to check the soup. As doubtful as she’d been, she couldn’t help feeling disappointed.
‘So, Derek, how long are you going for?’ Jack asked.
‘Probably the whole two months – that’s how long Jackson’s going for.’
‘Two months?’ Claire said, unable to hide her disappointment.
‘Claire, I wouldn’t dream of not asking you. I just wanted to know exactly what I was doing before discussing it.’
‘I couldn’t be away that long – wish we could go in our own right,’ she said.
‘Well maybe you will; it’s still a couple of months away. A lot can happen in that time. Why don’t you nominate them – only costs five or six hundred – and then worry about them qualifying.’
‘Derek, you’re not listening – the final declaration fee for the Caulfield Cup is almost twenty thousand dollars. We just don’t have the money for such a huge gamble.’
‘It’s only money.’
Fine for some, Claire thought, beginning to doubt whether two people with such clearly different attitudes to money could work long-term. She shook away the thought.
‘Oh, Claire Bear, I almost forgot,’ Jack said suddenly. ‘Some mail came for you Friday – mustn’t have caught up with your new address. It’s over on the bench by the phone.’
Claire got up to retrieve the items. One was a clothing catalogue, another was an offer for a new credit card. ‘Maybe we should sign up for this,’ she said, tossing it onto the table.
The last item was a business-sized envelope with Sydney G.P.O. return address in the top left corner. She opened it thinking advertisers were getting craftier by the day. Inside was a letter on the letterhead of the insurance company Keith had dealt with. Oh God, Claire thought. What now? It had been months since they’d notified her of their ‘final decision’ not to pay out on his vehicle and life policies. That reminded her: she hadn’t had a response since writing to the Insurance Ombudsman. That was ages ago. Should she follow it up?
As she unfolded the letter something fell to the table. Claire ignored it and read. The colour drained from her face and her hands began to shake.
‘What is it?’ Derek and Jack asked together.
‘This fell out. Looks like a cheque,’ Maddie said, holding it out to Claire.
‘Oh! My! God!’ Claire said, staring at the letter in one hand and the cheque now in the other. Her mind was swimming.
In stunned silence she reread the figure at the bottom of the letter, trying to keep track of the zeros. It said the accompanying cheque was for three hundred and seventy-eight thousand dollars.
Just when she’d finally managed to banish his memory to the far corner of her mind, Keith was effectively securing her future from the grave – her future with another man.
Chapter Thirty–nine
Lying in bed that night, Claire was still surging with a heady mix of emotions. Derek held her tightly to him, not even hinting he wanted to make love.
‘I’m here if you want to talk about it,’ he whispered, kissing her on the forehead. Claire hugged him tighter, and buried her face in his smooth soft shoulder. She started to cry. He stroked her hair and offered soothing words of comfort, which made her cry harder for a few moments. She was annoyed with herself for being so ridiculous. Why should she feel guilty anyway? Keith would want her to be happy, wouldn’t he?
Derek had said months ago that he thought you never got over the pain and loss, but rather got through it to the other side, where life went on but was different. It had taken him two years to even consider looking for a new partner. Was she callous to feel so much for someone so soon? Or was it different for Derek because he’d h
ad a daughter to raise and protect?
The kittens, as if sensing the emotion in the room, made their way across the pillows behind Claire and Derek’s heads, pausing to sniff at the tears on Claire’s cheek. She laughed at the playful paws patting away her troubles and reached up to stroke Bill, the gentler natured of the two.
Ben, sensing he was missing some fun, launched himself onto Derek’s chest and tried to snuffle his way under Claire’s hair. He put his wet nose in her ear. She and Derek erupted into a fit of giggles, sending the cats leaping about the bed, pouncing on imaginary mice they thought were moving under the quilt.
Slowly they quietened down and curled up at the end of the bed for a nap. They really are the best medicine, Claire thought with an inward sigh. She eased herself up onto an elbow and looked at Derek.
‘Derek, I’m really sorry. It’s just taken me by surprise, made me think about things I didn’t want to – hadn’t – for ages.’
‘I know. You don’t have to explain, and you certainly don’t have to apologise. I’ve been through it too, you know,’ he said, pulling her back to him and kissing her tenderly on the lips. ‘Just promise you won’t bottle things up. I want you to feel that you can talk to me about anything.’
‘I do,’ Claire said, and genuinely meant it.
Claire was deep in thought as she slowly munched her way through her toasted muesli. Derek was reading the morning paper. She was glad he’d decided to wait until after the peak hour traffic before heading to the office.
‘Derek?’
‘Hmm?’
‘Can I have your honest opinion?’
‘Of course. On what?’ he said, looking over his paper.
‘Do you really think it’s worth taking Howie and Paycheque to Melbourne? It’s just, now I’ve got the money…’
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