Blame It On The Shame Part 2

by Ashley Jade

  He takes a step forward and gets close to my face. "I'm the only link to your good side. You can't kill me...because then you become hi—"

  My knife plunging straight into his chest silences him. He begins coughing and spitting up blood as I drag the knife down to his stomach.

  It's music to my ears when he lets out a tremulous cry and I grab him by his chin. "Did she cry too, Emilio?"

  I twist the knife and begin filleting him open as he screams and begs for me to stop. "Did she cry and scream when our baby was ripped out of her?"

  His breathing slows, his eyes become dimmer, and his blood oozes out of him by the bucket load.

  I snarl as I reach inside the deep gash I've made and begin pulling out his stomach lining.

  He lets out a strangled scream when I hold his entrails up and examine them. "What does my moral compass have to say about this?"

  I stuff his intestines in his mouth and shove them as far down his throat as I can. "Oh, that's right...you can't speak."

  I stare down at him and grin as his body spasms, life leaves his eyes, and he finally goes stiff.

  As I step away, I fill my lungs and take a deep breath.

  I've never felt so alive...so in control...so powerful.

  So free.

  Epilogue

  I can feel all of their eyes on me. Judging me, appraising me, wondering what my next move is.

  Especially now that I've come here, told them my side of the story—and offered them something they couldn't turn down...in exchange for the safety of those I love.

  Granted that's not the only reason I'm here.

  As much as I hate my father—I can't deny that I still have his blood pumping through my veins, feeding the darkness within me.

  His blood ensuring my fate—to become him.

  The fact of the matter is—there's something lurking in all of us.

  Something we hide and shelter from those we love in order to protect them.

  A darkness we try to suppress because we're ashamed of who that makes us.

  So we make allowances, set rules, and give ourselves little doses here and there to try to pacify it—try to keep it at bay.

  But it's there—in the shadows, beneath the surface...just waiting.

  Because it always wants to break free.

  And sometimes...you have to let it.

  I take a step forward and the room becomes silent as I utter the next words that will change everything and nothing all at once.

  "My name is Ricardo DeLuca—and I'm ready to take my place."

  Epilogue (Alyssa)

  4 months later...

  I can't help but smile as I tilt my head and watch Jackson fiddle around in the kitchen.

  He's only been home for a few days since the courts declared his innocence and I can't get enough of him.

  Jackson keeps teasing me and blaming it on all the pregnancy hormones...but when my eyes drop down and I take in every single inch of his body and I feel my pulse race—I know it's something much, much more.

  He walks toward me and my nipples pucker and that delightful stirring starts down below. I can't help but blush when he appraises me up and down and his own gray eyes begin to heat with lust. "You want to go again, Damsel?" he questions as he plops down beside me on the couch.

  I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and flutter my eyelashes at him. "Yup." I run my nails up and down his broad chest. "That last round was out of this world...and I'm ready to try that other thing now."

  He mutters a curse under his breath and looks up at the ceiling. "Dammit, I'm going to be a horrible father."

  I rattle my head, beyond confused with his train of thought. "Um...what?"

  He gestures to the plate of food on the coffee table. "I made you food because you said you were hungry." His finger runs along my inner thigh and he leans in and whispers, "And now you're sitting here next to me...looking hot as fuck with your flushed cheeks—" He cups one of my breasts and his thumb circles my nipple. "And these amazing tits of yours...which only seem to get even more amazing by the day." He kisses my neck and I moan. "Telling me you want me to take your tight little virgin as—"

  "Hey, y'all," a southern voice drawls, interrupting us.

  "Tyrone," I growl surprising everyone. "You moved out, remember? You can't just come barging in here anymore."

  He pops a wheelie in his wheelchair and winks at me. "Consider this training for motherhood. You'll never have a second to yourself again."

  Jackson laughs before his lips graze my ear and he whispers "Later, Damsel." He hands me my plate of food. "Now eat."

  Tyrone makes a face when he looks at my plate. "That's disgusting. Why the hell would you eat that? Jackson groans and I'm about to open my mouth and yell at him but then a deep voice booms, "She's pregnant, you idiot. Leave her alone."

  I look up as Ricardo walks into the apartment with Momma in toe.

  I try to hide my surprise because with the exception of Jackson's trial...Ricardo hasn't been around much lately at all. Especially now that he’s moved out of the apartment complex.

  There's definitely something going on with him, although he refuses to talk about it.

  Well, something besides the obvious thing that we all know but are pretty much forbidden to ever talk about in his presence.

  He misses Lou-Lou.

  I give him a small smile before looking at Tyrone and slathering more mustard and ice cream on my pickle and taking a big ol' bite. "Where's Shelby?" I ask between mouthfuls. "She's usually around to keep you in line."

  He shoots me a look as he flicks on the television. "Very funny. She'll be here in a few. She's on the computer looking at favors for the engagement party next month."

  I clap my hands and bounce around in my seat. "I can't wait. It's going to be so fun. Did she tell you I found the perfect tablecloth pattern and the—"

  "Thanks a lot, Tyrone. See what you started?" Jackson mumbles and I lean over and pinch him.

  "I think it's wonderful him and Shelby are tying the knot. Question is...when are you two lovebirds getting married?" Momma chimes in and Jackson shoots Tyrone a death glare.

  Jackson rubs my tummy and the baby kicks, just like he always does when Jackson puts his hand over my belly. "I figure we'd focus on one thing at a time, Momma," he says. "You know, get out of jail first, have the baby—and then get married."

  Tyrone raises his beer. "The American dream!"

  Momma rolls her eyes and Ricardo and Jackson laugh.

  "Alright, enough of this girly wedding talk," Tyrone says while glancing at Ricardo and Jackson. "Let's watch the sports channel."

  Momma and I groan in unison...until I hear Anne Wally's voice and my ears perk up. "Hello and good evening New York. This is Anne Walley at WKWNY bringing you a very special interview with former mayoral candidate—John Travine."

  Beside me, Jackson tenses. "Why the fuck are they interviewing him?"

  "Shit," Tyrone mutters trying to change the channel.

  "Leave it on," I snap. "I-I want to hear this. Maybe he'll mention something about my mom."

  Jackson pulls me to his side as Anne Wally flashes the camera a smile before the camera turns to my step-father.

  "Good evening, Mr.Travine, " Anne Walley starts."It's been awhile since I've interviewed you...I understand you have some big news to share with all of us."

  "Oh, no," I say as my chest fills with dread. "What if he runs again?"

  "He won't," Ricardo says while typing something on his phone. "I'll make sure of it."

  My anxiety begins to fade...until I hear John Travine speak. "I do, " he starts. "Although I'm a little late with my announcement...I've decided to run for Mayor again."

  "What?" Momma shrieks as Jackson utters a curse.

  "Wow," Anne Walley states. "That is quite the announcement. Tell me, what made you decide to do this now? Especially given, as you've already stated, this is indeed a late announcement. The election is only a few months away."

/>   "Well, to be perfectly honest," he begins. "I've decided to run because I'm tired of the corruption that's plaguing this great city of ours. The people of New York are being controlled and used as puppets by a particular organization. A savage and dangerous organization...and it's time to put an end to it." He turns to look at the camera. "I want to run and make New York safe again. I want to protect the great people of New York and the city that I love."

  "Oh, Please!" Momma yells at the television. "What a bunch of manure."

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ricardo stand up.

  "My," Anne Walley says with her hand over her heart. "That is quite the statement. Is there anyone in particular you're referring too? Who are you trying to protect us from?"

  His eyes become glassy and I swear I feel my mouth hit the floor.

  "John," Anne says while handing him a tissue. "Are you okay? What happened? Are the people of New York in danger?"

  "Yes," he says, his voice sounding strained. "And I can't keep quiet about it any longer." He clears his throat and sits up straight. "Although, he's no longer alive...Bruno DeLuca once took something very important from me."

  Anne's eyebrows draw together and I look at Ricardo who shrugs, clearly he's just as confused as we all are.

  "What?" Anne questions. "What did he take from you?"

  "Something that can never be replaced," John Travine says as a single tear falls down his face. "My daughter."

  Confusion spreads across her face and I wince because I know what she's about to ask. Jackson does too, because he grips my hand. "Are you referring to Alyssa Tan—"

  "No," he says curtly, cutting her off. "That is my step-daughter. I'm talking about my daughter. My blood, my pride and joy, my little girl. He took her in the middle of the night when she was only 15 years old. He took her in order to get back at me. He didn't want me going public about all of his illegal dealings...so he threatened me and then he took her from me. It's been almost 10 long years since I've seen her." His voice breaks and he exhales sharply. "I have no idea if she's still alive...if she's okay."

  Anne gasps. "Oh, my goodness. I had no idea, John." She reaches for his hand. "I'm so sorry."

  The glass that Ricardo was holding drops to the floor and his eyes flash as he takes a step closer to the television.

  "I am too," John says before turning to face the camera. "So you see, New York? Do you see why I want to keep you all safe? Bruno DeLuca might be dead...but his son is very much alive. And I'm telling you, folks. I know first-hand what the DeLuca's are capable of. And I promise you—Ricardo DeLuca is every bit the man that his father was. In fact, he’s even more dangerous."

  He begins ticking things off with his fingers. "He is a mobster, he is violent, he is ruthless...and he is controlling the entire city...and you people don't even know it. "

  Beside him, Anne Walley pales and gives the camera a nervous smile. "Now, now...maybe we shouldn't go accusing people without proof."

  He turns to face her. "You want proof, Anne?" He digs a photo out of his pocket and hands it to her. "That was my daughter...is my daughter. Because I refuse to lose faith that she's still out there, just waiting for her Dad to save her."

  A few tears trickle down Anne Walley's face. "She's beautiful."

  "I know," John says, and my mind starts reeling. Both he and my mother never mentioned he had a daughter. I do the calculations. If she was 15 when she was kidnapped, and it's been almost 10 years...she's my age.

  I look around the room and everyone's mouths are hanging open...with the exception of Ricardo who looks like he's stopped breathing entirely and like he personally wants to rip John Travine through the screen.

  Anne dabs at her eyes with a tissue. "You've got my vote, John. I think the city of New York needs a noble man like you to keep us safe." She shifts in her seat. "John, I want you to turn and face the camera." When he does, she says, " If you could say one thing to your daughter...what would it be?"

  Another tear trickles down his cheek. Heck, he looks so devastated, I'm feeling sorry for him.

  "I love you, baby girl," he begins, his voice shaking. "And I hope that wherever you are...you're safe and not in any pain." He sniffs. "And I want you to know...I'll never stop looking for you. Daddy will find you." His expression turns hard and I feel my stomach drop right before he says, "Daddy's coming for you, Lucianna."

  About the Author

  If you liked the book, it would mean the absolute world to me if you left a review. It’s so hard for indie author’s to receive acknowledgment and reviews really make a difference for us.

  But even more than that…I urge you to read the message on the next page.

  I'm a lover of psychology, romance, erotica, dark romance, dark erotica, and anything thought provoking...except for math. I've always read books growing up, and after having a strange dream one night; I decided to just go for it and publish my first series.

  Little did I know, I would end up falling head over heels in love with writing.

  If I'm not researching, paying off student loan debt, or writing a novel- you can usually find me watching my favorite series on Netflix, stealing my man’s t-shirts, or pondering the meaning of life.

  Check my page for future novels.

  Also, feel free to start a discussion board/or leave a review if you're so inclined.

  I value and appreciate all my fans reviews, thoughts, and discussions, as well as their time. Each and every single one of you are important to me.

  Thanks for believing in me and giving me a shot. It has meant more to me than you'll ever know.

  ~ Happy Reading ~

  For more news about what I’m working on next: Follow me on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ashley-Jade/788137781302982

  Other Books Written By Ashley Jade

  Blame It on the Pain

  Blame It on the Shame- part 1

  Twisted Fate series (books 1-4)

  Black Widow Club

  The Best Deception

  What Happens in the Dark (books 1-3)

  The National Domestic Violence Hotline

  The National Domestic Violence Hotline

  1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

  If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic violence, I urge and I beg you to reach out.

  You’re not alone…and I will pray for you every single day of my life.

  Please, don’t blame yourself.

  And just in case you never hear this…it’s not your fault. It’s NEVER your fault!

  If you or anyone you know is a victim of sexual assault, again; I urge and I beg you to reach out.

  It’s not your fault. It’s NEVER your fault! Please don’t ever blame yourself.

  National Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-HOPE (4673)

  National Child Sexual Abuse Helpline(Darkness to Light)

  1-866-FOR-LIGHT (866-367-5444)

  For rape & sexual assault victims call: 212-227-3000

  or email : help@safehorizon.org

  All calls are kept completely confidential.

  And if you still can’t pick up that phone, you can always email ashleyjadeauthor@gmail.com I’ll never judge you, I’ll just listen <3

  Acknowledgements

  Yup, this will be long. Because each and every one of you are so important to me and there will never be a good enough way to thank you for all the support and generosity you've shown me. A simple acknowledgment in a book doesn't do it justice, but I hope it matters all the same.

  I'm so incredibly humbled and grateful for each and every one of you. And truly, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul. I hope like hell I'm not leaving anyone out...and if by some horrible chance I did...just know that I'm sorry.

  Kathy and Sammie- 'Just Let me Read'-

  First off, this book wouldn't be possible without Kathy. Yup, you all heard me. You wouldn't have this book if it wasn't for her.

  Or maybe you would have...but it w
ouldn't have been 'Ricardo & Lou-Lou's story' and told the way it needed to be told.

  Thank you for pushing me...thank you for stepping in and shouting 'fuck what other's think, give em' hell 'Ashley Jade' style loud enough for me to hear.

  Thank you for pushing me to be true to myself. Thank you for suffering through every single pm that was plagued with worry, anxiety, and god only knows what else and being the best 'beta' and person in the world.

  Thank you for being you.

  Sammie- Thank you for bugging me to keep writing and keeping me on track. Thank you for your impeccable reviews. Both of you ladies are amazing and there really aren’t enough words to express just how appreciative I am. You were the first bloggers who discovered me and took me under your incredible wings. I consider myself very blessed to have you by my side.

  Tanya- As much as we love and adore our men...sometimes you find another kind of soulmate.

  The kind that you call a friend.

  We've never met...and yet, I couldn't imagine having NOT 'met' you.

  Maybe it's the fact that you share a birthday with my romantic soulmate, maybe it’s the incredible and beautiful teasers you do, or maybe; it's the fact that you're just so damn fabulous and talented it should be a crime. (Don't worry, I'd totally be the Thelma to your Louise.)

  I told you when we connected that I was keeping you and I meant it.You're never getting rid of me and I'm so very thankful & grateful for you. (Insert one of our crazy gif's here.)

  Shabby A and Laura L- Holy shit, ladies. I love you both so much I could burst. I don't know what I did in another life to deserve the both of you...but whatever it is...I'd do it again in a heartbeat. In the 'book world'—I'm an indie, undiscovered, different from the usual...and I definitely don't 'sit at the cool and popular table' with the other authors.