Broken: Boxed Set

by Wilde, Leah

  “Yes, sir. Thank you,” I said.

  “Also, I trust my men helped you get home safe,” he added.

  “Yes, sir, they did.” I couldn’t express my gratitude any other way besides just being polite at the moment.

  “I’m sorry that your friend suffered at their hands. If she needs anything, you let me know, got it?”

  “Yes, sir. And, Mr. Mayor?”

  “Yes, Gage?”

  “Thank you. Really. Thank you for all of your help,” I gushed.

  “It’s the least I could do for how much you helped me with Ivan. For the next few days, you and yours should take care of yourselves and regroup. Once you get back on your feet, give me a call, and I’ll make sure you get connected with the other clients who were working with Ivan,” he explained.

  “Thank you again,” I said.

  “Don’t mention it. Oh, also a very good call shutting down HQ for a few days. I don’t control everyone around here, so it’s a good idea to lay low and make sure there’s no fallout from the bust,” he said, not specifying where the threat was coming from.

  “Yes, sir, I figured my guys earned some time off. Plus, your men did some work to help clean up from where we were attacked by Ivan’s men the other day. They’ve really stepped up for us, Mr. Mayor, and I don’t know how to thank you.”

  “First off, you can stop saying thank you every few words. It’s pathetic. Once is enough. I understand you guys were struggling for a while, but now you’re in good hands. As long as you continue to take care of me, you won’t have to worry about anything else for a very long time,” he assured me. “At least as long as I remain in office,” he added with a laugh.

  I thanked him again and let the call disconnect.

  The next few days were long. I watched my sleeping love on the bed and waited. I stayed close to her side, only leaving when the nurse was present and I could leave Julia in her care long enough to grab something to eat or take a shower.

  It was a nightmare, but I had hope. It looked like it could turn into the Lisa situation all over again, but the fact that she was resting peacefully in my bed meant that it was just as likely that she would pull through and be okay. I sat through the monotony and waited for her to wake up.

  “Please wake up, Julia.” By the third day, I was talking to her. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I know that if I had been completely open and honest with you from the start, things wouldn’t have happened the way they did. If you wake up and come back to me, I will be open and honest with you from now on. There will be no more secrets or lies. That’s not how I want to build a relationship with you. That is not how we will build a successful future together.”

  I held her sleeping hand while I talked, hoping that she heard what I was saying to her. I’d read somewhere once that sleeping people could actually comprehend what was being said in the room around them. The concept came up again and again when talking about subliminal messages and ways to influence people without them being able to notice what was being done. I hoped that I remembered what I had read correctly, and that it was working on Julia while I sat at her bedside.

  I laughed at one point while talking to her sleeping figure. “I’m going soft thanks to you,” I told her. “You’ve got me getting all teary eyed over here. You’ve got me so worried and stressed, Julia, hoping you’ll be okay. I’ve shut HQ down until you come back around. I’m not leaving your side,” I assured her.

  “The guys have all stopped by,” I told her. “Ricky brought you flowers, and the knuckleheads, Chase and Juarez, the ones who beat Dimitri so badly, brought by some sweets for when you wake up. They also sent a sympathy card from both of them. Talk about a bromance,” I chuckled. “You’ll understand when you meet them again. They aren’t horrible guys, but they’re really good at doing the horrible things I need them to do.”

  I must have imagined it, but I thought she smiled while I told her about the guys coming by. She probably would have if she had been awake, but I couldn’t say if she definitely smiled or not in her current state.

  I sighed, sitting at her side.

  The nurse came in for her evening visit. She was a blonde with blue eyes and gentle features. She looked like a college student, probably interning with Dr. Fiso. She wore plain clinical green scrubs. I must have looked like a mess when she came in. I couldn’t remember the last time I had shaved, and I may have bathed once since returning from the lake with Julia and the guys. She gave me a sad, concerned look when she came in the room.

  “Listen,” she said in her sweetest, gentlest voice, “take a few minutes to get a shower. I don’t have any other patients after Dr. Danvers, so I don’t have to rush off.”

  “Thanks. You know, she smiled, I think,” I told her as I lifted my creaky joints out of the chair. “I think. I don’t know. Hell, I probably imagined.”

  “She may have.” She touched my arm with a kind, gentle hand. “She may be on her way back around. Her vitals have been steadily improving, so she could wake up any minute. When that happens, she’s not going to want to see you sitting here looking tired. And trust me, I know it’s been hard emotionally, but watching after her like this has been the easy part. Wait until she starts asking for food and everything else she’s too weak to get on her own.” She winked.

  “Weak, nothing! She’s been sleeping for days. She can’t use the weak card on me. I’m the one who needs a break,” I joked. “But, seriously, thank you. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Take your time, Mr. Noll,” she said comfortingly.

  I sighed again. It seemed like that was the only way I breathed lately. I laughed at myself as I grabbed a few clean clothes and headed to the bathroom to start my shower. I was getting soft. Soft wasn’t good. Nothing good ever came from being soft.

  I turned on the hot water and stared at my face in the mirror while the bathroom heated up, turning away only when the mirror was too foggy to see myself in it anymore. I climbed into the shower and let the hot water rush over me.

  I felt the grime that had collected on my body from sitting in the same spot for days melt away under the hot spray of water. I felt the conflict with Ivan melt away. Ivan was behind bars, and I was still alive, standing under a hot shower, bringing myself back to humanity, back to life. Dimitri was with him, and so was one of his other top men, Boris. I still had Julia, Rick, Chase, and Juarez. We may have lost Angelo, and Jorell may have disappeared, but I still came out on top, I thought.

  I let the hot water run down through my hair and course down my back. I scrubbed my body, reaching into every corner, every nook and cranny with soap, hot water, and a wash cloth. I worked shampoo into my hair and let the hot water carry it away. My body was tired and sore, and it missed Julia’s touch. My skin missed her hands, her lips, her body against mine. It missed her breath. It ached for those things.

  I cut off the shower and stood listening to the water drip from my body and from the faucet. Nothing existed beyond those sounds, I told myself. For a brief moment in time, all that existed was the bathroom. The whole world beyond the bathroom door was held back by just a few inches of wood and a whole lot of steam.

  I wiped the fog off the mirror and grabbed my shaving cream. It was time to trim off the vegetation growing along my jaw and in front of my ears. The stubble was too much to bear, and I didn’t want to offend Julia when I kissed her for the first time after she woke up.

  I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror after I finished. The man staring back at me wasn’t soft around the edges. He was hard and strong. He didn’t let anything get him down. His arms and chest were ripped and covered in tattoos that told the story of his life, of my life. That was me in the mirror. I was the strong guy, the tough guy. I was the one who shut people out and didn’t take anyone’s shit. It was time to start being that guy again, I reminded myself.

  The world had beaten me down every time I let down my guard. I was the fearless president of an outlaw motorcycle club. Honestly, we were more like t
he gangs of the old days, and it was time I started acting like that was the kind of organization I ran. With our new position in the pecking order, the guys were going to need me to be a hard ass.

  I slid on a clean pair of jeans without any boxers. Instead of a shirt, I grabbed my colors and threw them over my shoulders. I looked at myself again before turning to leave the bathroom.

  As I reached for the door, there was a dainty little knock.

  “Are you going to be much longer, Mr. Noll?” came the nurse’s muffled voice from the other side.

  “No, I’m done,” I said as I opened the door. I watched her eyes as my exposed chest and stomach registered and distracted her.

  “Good,” she said, still not looking me in the eye. Her eyes settled on my hips, where my pants were hanging loose, showing her I wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

  “What’s up?” I asked her, content to stand like that all day and let her look at me.

  Her eyes jerked back up to my face, and she blushed slightly.

  “I’m sorry,” she excused herself.

  “Don’t be. I like knowing I’m attractive. It’s flattering.” I gave her a little wink.

  “Well, come in here, Mr. Noll. I think she’s about to wake up, and I figured you wanted to be here when she does.” She stepped back and started to walk over by the bed, where I could hear Julia starting to groan.

  Her eyelids fluttered as her eyes tried to open. She made a couple more groaning noises and reached for me. I took her hand in mine.

  “I’m here,” I said as I kneeled down next to the bed. “I’m here, Julia. It’s okay.”

  She squeezed my hand and pulled me closer.

  I looked at the nurse, who just nodded. I took that as an indication that these were promising signs.

  Chapter 34

  Julia

  When I opened my eyes, I didn’t know it had been almost five days since the incident on Ivan’s yacht. I didn’t even remember what had happened, at least not right away. When I opened my eyes for the first time, I felt like I was waking up from a good night’s rest with long, strange, spiraling dreams.

  I knew something was wrong when I saw Gage’s face almost right in front of mine. He was kneeling down next to the bed, and he glowed. He radiated hope, joy, relief, and the look of someone who felt their prayers had finally been answered. The kind of exultant joy I saw in his eyes didn’t come without some kind of trouble.

  Golden afternoon light spilled into this bedroom. It wasn’t morning. I hadn’t been asleep for the night. And there was a nurse standing in front of him near the end of the bed. I felt my brow furrow.

  “What’s she doing here?” I barely mumbled.

  Gage laughed and embraced me.

  “You’re back,” he said enthusiastically.

  “And I need something to drink,” I told him. “My throat is parched.” My words barely came out as more than groans. I felt them rattle deep down in my chest.

  “Here you are, dear.” The nurse handed me a cup of water almost right away.

  As the wonderfully cool liquid poured down my throat, it soothed what I could best describe as an intense burn. I handed the cup over to Gage gently. I started to ask him what happened, but I caught something in his eyes that reminded me of what happened on Ivan’s yacht, and what happened just before that series of events.

  I covered my mouth. I could feel my eyes trying to work up tears, but my body was so dry and brittle that nothing came out.

  “Oh God, Gage,” I sobbed. I grabbed him and pulled him back to me, crying tearlessly on his shoulder as I realized how lucky I was to be waking up to his enraptured eyes, the dying golden light of the day, and the strange nurse standing at the end of the bed.

  “It’s okay,” he tried to comfort me. “You’re here. You’re awake. You’re back with me.”

  I pulled back and looked into his troubled eyes.

  “What happened?” I asked. “Tell me everything. My memory’s choppy.”

  He looked up at the nurse. “Could you give us a few minutes?” he asked her.

  “Sure. Would you like for me to go out and pick you two up anything for dinner? I can get anything you need, and don’t worry about the bill. It’s taken care of.” Her young voice was so sweet and kind.

  Gage looked at me, and I suddenly craved a cheeseburger. Or pizza. Chili dogs. Oh God, I wanted junk food. It was all I could think about.

  “Chili dogs,” I blurted out. “And fries.”

  Gage looked up at the nurse. “Is that okay for someone in her condition?” he asked.

  “If her system is used to it, her body will take what it needs and process the rest just like normal.” She turned to me. “Do you eat chili dogs often?”

  “Often enough that it’s the first thing I wanted after I don’t know how long I’ve been out,” I said clearly.

  “Chili dogs and fries,” Gage agreed, laughing. “I can’t think of anything better to celebrate with,” he added.

  “Okay, chili dogs and fries for all. I’ll get something for you to drink to help rehydrate you as well,” the nurse told me before leaving the room.

  “What happened?” I asked Gage again. “I remember Dimitri putting a knife to my throat and waking up on the boat. Then, I remember him trying to get inside my head before you and the guys arrived. The last thing I remember is sitting above deck and watching you guys drag up Ivan and another guy, still alive. I remember being impressed that you didn’t kill them.”

  “You’ve pretty much got the highlights, I guess,” Gage told me. I could tell he really wasn’t interested in telling me the rest. “I don’t know what all happened in the boat, but the last thing that happened was when Dimitri kicked you over into the water. I shot him in the leg and jumped in after you.”

  I remembered the weights on my chair. “No!” My voice cracked as I realized how close I came to losing my life. “Dimitri warned me that I was going to end up like Lisa, and I almost did.”

  Gage squeezed my hand. “Listen, Julia, there is a lot that I need to tell you. I’ve tried to protect you from my life by keeping quiet and holding back, but after what happened and what nearly happened on Ivan’s yacht, I see that keeping the truth from you isn’t going to protect you at all.”

  “Not now, Gage,” I told him, placing a finger on his lips to shush him.

  “No, I need to tell you this first thing now.” He took a deep breath. “What happened to Lisa was my fault, and I have blamed myself for it ever since it happened. The reason I hid things from you and lied to you about Dimitri was so I could keep the same thing from happening to you, and that’s exactly why it almost happened.”

  “What actually happened to Lisa?”

  “We were tangling with a street gang. These guys were ruthless and violent. They did not give a fuck about anything. Anyway, I was facing off with their leader, and he had a gun to Lisa’s head. He shot her. I shot him. And we ran as their bodies fell to the ground. The rest of the gang opened fire behind us, but they were poorly disciplined street thugs. They couldn’t hit a stationary target at point blank range. After that, they fell apart. They crumbled and disappeared because no one stepped in to fill their leader’s spot. So, we won that fight, but at what cost, you know?”

  “I’m sorry, Gage.” I ran a hand over his smooth cheek. “I’m sorry that happened to you, and I’m sorry I believed Dimitri when he told me you had actually killed her to get away in the commotion.”

  “Dimitri doesn’t know everything about me,” he said. “He knows my reputation, and that reputation has served me well on the street. Maybe not in the bedroom, but that’s why I’m telling you the truth. You need to know that it’s okay to let people like Dimitri say horrible things about me. You don’t have to believe them, though.”

  I blinked, and it lasted a little longer than it should have. I felt myself trying to go back to sleep. I shook my head and forced my eyes back open.

  “You don’t have to be awake,” Gage said. “If yo
u feel like you need to sleep, let yourself go to sleep, baby. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

  I hugged him again, pulling him into the bed with me. I wrapped his arms around me and snuggled up against his bare muscular skin. I didn’t know how long I’d been out, but I knew I missed having his body next to mine.

  “No more talking,” I told him. “Just hold me. If I fall asleep, wake me up when the chili dogs get here.” I snickered like a school kid. I couldn’t believe that my first meal was going to be chili dogs. That couldn’t have been the best choice, but no one told me not to.

  Over the next few days, I realized what I had missed out on while I was out for almost five days. I saw the gifts that had been left by the members of the MC. I learned that Ivan, Dimitri, and another guy were in prison because of what happened on the boat. I called up to the university and told them all that had happened. They were amazed to hear that my research had taken me aboard the yacht that had been on the news and that I was going to be working on a study of the effects of the collapse of the Soviet Union on the Russian underground. I was hooked, I told them. It was a dirty, seedy world, and I wanted to see it. The dean over history and the president of the university both agreed with me that it was a project that needed to be done.