Licentious

by Jen Cousineau

  It took all of us a while to come around to giving Kellan a chance for Maria’s sake. Dad forbade it at first. Mainly, because we found out that he was a cop. A detective. When we realized that she was going to date him anyway, we pretended to give him a chance. But his profession was a threat to the family. Maria couldn’t understand this because the women in our family know who we are and what we do in a general sense, but they don’t really know. We don’t let them in on any details unless necessary. We watched him like a hawk for a good amount of time, but once we realized how serious they were about each other, Dad sat him down and had a chat with him. None of us knew what was said, but shortly after, Kellan resigned from the Police Department on good terms and became the head of our security operations. Watching this exchange between him and Joey makes me question his loyalty. If they were so close to consider each other family, and he turned his back on her, how do I know he won’t do that to Maria?

  “Food’s done,” Dad announces. Everyone slowly disperses to the dining room inside. I stay planted where I am, my eyes never leaving Joey, who’s staring down at the bar top. I look to find Kellan, and see him watching her from behind until Maria grabs his arm pulling him inside, whispering into his ear.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Joey

  “Are you okay?” Alé’s voice breaks my thoughts, saving my mind from itself as he leans on the bar across from me.

  “Yeah,” I shrug. “I’m fine. Just feel bad for making a scene, I guess.”

  “Nah,” he waves his hand dismissively, “don’t be. Shit like this happens all the time.” He smiles. “You forget we’re Italian. We’re naturally passionate,” he reminds me with a smirk. I’ve got nothing, so I just nod and force a smile on my face.

  “Small world, huh?” he asks.

  “You can say that again,” I mutter as I lift the Jose bottle to my lips, feeling the burn of the amber liquid as it runs down my throat. Alé steps next to me, a hand pressed against my lower back as his other lowers the bottle away from my lips. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand before turning to look at him. My body on edge, but my brain growing fuzzy, the heat from his hand on my back creates butterflies in full force inside of me. The heat in his eyes is igniting my insides, causing an ache deep in my core. I can feel my heart speed as my breathing grows more erratic.

  “Joey,” he says through clenched teeth and a tick in his strong jaw. “I’m going to kiss you,” he says almost as a warning as he steps directly in front of me. One hand moving to the back of my neck, the other framing my face as his thumb runs over my bottom lip. I can feel my nerves jump as my sex clenches with want. With need. “Tell me no,” he whispers, a breath away from my lips. My mouth parts to object, my eyes locked with his, but no words come out. Our lips crash together with little patience. Our breaths mix together as his tongue starts to dance with mine. My hands roam up his arms and over his strong shoulders, his body hard like granite. A moan escapes from my throat as his mouth makes its torturous way to my neck. His hot breath against my ear, he commands, “Tell me you want me.” His hands roaming freely over my body.

  “I…I…” I stammer in a fuzzy stupor.

  “Joey,” he growls before his lips find mine again. My hand rests at the base of his neck, fingers running through his short hair while my other hand roams over his strong chest. The feeling of his strength causes me to clench involuntarily as liquid drips from my core. I bite his lip and nearly growl. “My, aren’t we feisty,” he chuckles.

  “I want the feisty bitch, first,” I hear Tony’s tenor-silk voice wash over me.

  “Fuck that,” Vinny snaps back to Tony. “You got her first,” he nods in Eve’s direction, “she’s mine,” he growls as his hand roams my body freely. Next thing I know, I hear Vinny ‘tsk, tsk’ before the sound of my clothes being shredded fill my ears. My left eye is completely swollen shut, and my lips hurt when I try to speak. “Too many clothes. You’re too beautiful to be all covered up.” He smiles as he shreds the remains of my shirt. He then takes a knife to my chest, cutting my bra in the center until my breasts break free. “So fucking beautiful,” he groans as he palms me, using his hand to guide the tip of my nipple into his mouth. I can feel his teeth and tongue teasing me.

  Dizziness, nausea, and fear of what’s to come fill me. Eve. I force my head to turn toward her, the motion causing small dots to dance before my eyes before Eve comes into view. “Eve,” I whisper. Tony is pumping into her with the speed of a horny dog in heat. I focus into the sound of Eve’s whimpers. “Eve, look at me,” I nearly beg. Her bruised and bloodied face turns to me, tears streaking through the grime.

  “Joey,” she breathes as she continues to cry.

  “Shh, Eve, it’s going to be okay,” I try to console her. I hate that she’s scared right now. I hate that her first time is with these cold, heartless men. I hate that they hurt her. I hate them.

  I feel a sharp pain inside of me, causing me to cry out as Vinny groans, sinking into me balls deep. A burning sensation takes over between my legs, tears stinging the back of my eyes. He pulls almost all the way out before slamming back into me.

  “Please… please stop,” I push at his chest. Tears springing to my eyes as fear courses through me. “Stop!” I push again until our bodies are no longer touching. My chest heavy with uneven breaths, I can hear my heart beating in my ears.

  “Whoa,” he takes a step back. “Okay. I’m sorry. What’d I do?” Alé asks in shock. Confusion clouding his face.

  My shaking hands cover my mouth as I close my eyes and shake my head. Dammit! “I… uh… I-I’m sorry,” I tell him as I quickly walk by him to retrieve my things from the patio table on the other side of the pool.

  “Joey,” he calls after me causing me to move faster. “Joey!” he yells. “Dammit, Joey. Stop!” He catches up to me and grabs my elbow, turning me to him, our bodies colliding as his arms wrap around my shaking body. Tears falling from my eyes. “Shh,” he consoles me, his hand basically petting the back of my head. I struggle against him to break free, but he only tightens his hold on me.

  “Please,” I whimper, sobs threatening to break free. My knees growing weak. “Please, let me go,” I beg as I begin to fall apart. He quickly releases me and holds his palms up.

  “Okay, I’m sorry, I just—”

  “I know,” I cut him off. “I’m sorry Alé. I just… can’t,” I tell him quietly as I wipe my tears away. “I have to go. I’m… sorry. You did nothing wrong, okay?” I force a smile as my eyes finally meet his.

  “Let me take you home,” he offers.

  “No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine,” I decline shaking my head.

  “You’ve been drinking,” he reminds me.

  “So haven’t you—”

  “Yeah, but a few beers versus a shit ton of tequila,” he rolls his eyes. “I’m taking you home,” he says firmly. I capture my lips in between my teeth, eyes on my feet as I nod my acceptance that I won’t win this. I turn and slip on my shorts and sandals before turning back to him. “I’m going to grab a shirt and my keys, okay?” he says cautiously.

  “’K. I’ll meet you out front,” I tell him before turning away, not giving him a chance to object. I head to my shitty cavalier and retrieve my purse and keys, locking the doors in the process. I press the heels of my hands to my eyes, silently chastising myself for allowing that to happen. I know better! I was definitely not drunk enough for any of that to occur. God, I’m so embarrassed. He probably thinks I’m a freak! I turn to my car and start hitting it with my purse over and over again.

  “What’d that car ever do to you?” I hear Alé snicker behind me. His voice freezing me mid-throw. I drop my arm and slowly turn to face him. Embarrassment, I’m sure, evident on my face. “I mean, besides being old and ugly,” he grins.

  “She’s not old,” I snarl. “No one can say anything mean about Cavi, except me,” I tell him firmly.

  “Cavi?” he laughs.

  “Yeah. Cavi,” I roll my eye
s. “Take me home, Alé,” I say quietly.

  “Right this way, kitten,” he gestures toward his sleek, shiny, dark blue Mazda Miata.

  “Kitten?” I lift a brow questioningly as I walk next to him. He opens the passenger door for me, holding out a hand to help me in and hesitantly, I accept.

  “Man, you really don’t remember, huh?” he says rubbing the back of his neck, before gently stepping back and closing the door.

  He doesn’t say anything once he slides in next to me. In fact, neither of us spoke until we’re about a minute away from my apartment.

  “Umm… how do you know where you’re going?” I ask, suddenly confused. I don’t remember telling him where I lived.

  He’s quiet for a moment, causing me to turn and look at his profile. I can see him watching me from the corner of his eye. “You, uh,” he clears his throat and sits up a little straighter, “you told me.”

  “When?” I ask in disbelief. “I don’t remember telling you that.”

  “Ah. Yeah. But then again we already established that you don’t recall an entire night that we spent together.” He chuckles as he pulls into my complex and parks in a vacant stall. “I’ll get your door,” he tells me as he quickly gets out of the car.

  God, I really wish I could remember that night. I’m sure it’d be a night for the books. He opens my door and holds a hand out to me. Accepting, I step out and try to release his hand. His grip tightens slightly on mine as he shuts the door and leads us to the entrance of my building.

  “Alé,” I say quietly as I tug softly on his hand. He turns to me, his eyes never leaving mine, and cocks a brow. “I’m sorry… about… earlier,” I swallow my pride and tell him. “It was nothing you did, okay?”

  His brow pinches together, his eyes growing darker. “Want to explain exactly what that was?” His deep baritone voice washes over me. I shake my head and he nods accepting my silence. I grab my keys from my purse and unlock the door. “Are you going to be okay?” he asks. His voice is full of concern.

  “Yeah,” I force a half smile, before I realize I’ll be alone soon and then all I feel is fear. I hate being alone after I have one of those moments. It brings the entire string of events to the front of my mind, reminding me that those monsters were never found. What if they know where I am? What if they decide to come back and finish me?

  “What is it?” Alé’s husky voice penetrates my thoughts.

  My eyes snap to his, but I don’t speak. Can I ask him? Would that make me a tease? “Nobody likes a cock tease, Josephine,” Tony’s voice rings loud in my mind.

  “Joey, I want you to know that I’d never hurt you,” he promises. “And nothing will happen between us unless we’re both willing participants. Okay?” he dips his head down until we’re eye level with each other. “Okay?” he asks again.

  “Yeah,” I whisper. “Okay.” I nod.

  “Where’d you just go a second ago?”

  “I…” I stop unsure on what I should say.

  “Honesty, Joey. I only want honesty,” he whispers firmly.

  “Will you stay with me?” I ask shyly, avoiding eye contact with him. “Just until I pass out,” I add. His hand cups my chin, lifting my face until our eyes meet, a smile teasing his lips.

  “I’d love to,” he says gently.

  “Alé, I—”

  “Shh,” he presses a finger to my lips. “Nothing’s going to happen until you say so. No pressure.” He shrugs. Once I unlock my door, he leans around me to push the door open, holding it for me to lead the way. I allow him to pass through so I can re-lock it. My door is always locked. Going back into the living room, I stop behind him and watch him as he scopes my place out.

  “It’s small, cozy.” I shrug. “Nothing compared to the palace you live in, but it’s enough for me.” Now I feel stupid and nervous about asking him to stay. He turns those beautifully, dangerous eyes to me, and shrugs. “I like it.”

  “Bullshit.” I call him out.

  “No, really. Like you said... it’s cozy.” He smiles. “Do you want me to take off my shoes?”

  “Doesn’t matter either way. Do you want something to drink?” I ask him as I start to fidget with my hands.

  ‘No, thank you. I’m good,” he tells me as his hand reaches out and clasps over mine, making them still. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on, Joey?”

  “No, not really. I… I just don’t want to be alone right now, I guess,” I tell him nervously as I start to chew on the top of my thumbnail. He grabs my hand from my mouth and walks over to the couch. I can feel my body tense as he sits down in the nook of the plush couch.

  “Comfy.” He smiles as he wiggles further into the cushions. “Join me?” he asks, lifting up an arm. I can’t help the smile that teases my lips. “What?”

  “Nothing. You just don’t seem like the cuddling type.”

  “And what does a ‘cuddler’ look like?” He smirks as he pulls me down onto the couch, our bodies tight to each other.

  “I don’t know.” I laugh. “Not like you.”

  “Why’s that?” he asks.

  “Because, you… look too badass to be a cuddler,” I tell him honestly, laying my head on his shoulder as his arm wraps around me.

  “Do I scare you?” he questions.

  “What?” my head snaps up. “Why would you ask me that?” I’m dumbfounded. Why would he think that? Do I act scared around him?

  “You act like you don’t want anything to do with me. And other times you’re nervous as hell. And then… earlier… I just figured...” He shrugs.

  I nod, and then lay my head back against his shoulder and sigh. “Yes. No… it’s not really you. This probably makes no sense to you.” I laugh bitterly. I hate this. I’ve never explained anything to anyone except Addison, but that was easier because I didn’t care if she found me attractive or not. And then, there’s the face that I can’t do sober sex without a freak-out. Who in the hell wants to take on this much baggage?

  “It’s okay.” He sighs. “Favorite soda.”

  “What?” I laugh confused.

  “What’s your favorite soda?” he asks again.

  “I don’t drink soda. Well, ginger ale when I’m sick. What’s yours?” I smile as I tip my head back to look at him, my hand coming to rest on his chest.

  “Orange soda,” he tells me as he reaches down, picks up my legs, and drapes them over his lap. His other hand pushing my head back down to his shoulder.

  “Favorite color.”

  “Orange. You?”

  “Grey.”

  “What? Grey’s not really a color.” I laugh.

  “Sure it is. There’s a grey crayon, isn’t there?”

  “Hmm. Yeah, okay. I’ve got nothing.” I grin.

  “If you had to have one, cake or pie?”

  “Banana Cream Pie,” I nearly shout instantly.

  “Good answer.” He gently squeezes me.

  “Can I ask you a question now?” His tone turns soft and serious.

  “You can always ask. I just can’t guarantee that I’ll answer.

  “Fair enough. What… a… how did your Dad die?” he asks nervously.

  “Car accident. Hit and run six years ago. They never found who the other driver was though. But the car that hit him was reported stolen,” I tell him. Biting my lip, I contemplate if this means it is fair game to ask him anything. I really don’t want him to dig too deep into me though, and I’m afraid if I ask, he’ll ask me another.

  “My brother, Frank, was killed ten years ago. He went missing, and a few days later, someone discovered his body washed up on shore,” he says quietly as if answering my thoughts.

  I don’t bother telling him that I’m sorry for him. It makes me internally cringe when people tell me that. Like during funeral services. I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t want people’s pity. And let’s be honest, ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t fix things. It doesn’t bring someone back from the dead. It doesn’t take the pain away. So I don’t say a
nything. Instead, I softly rub his chest with my hand in slow circles, reveling in the way his granite cut muscles feel under my fingertips. Neither of us speaks and surprisingly, it’s not awkward.

  I wish I were normal. I wish I didn’t have all this baggage hanging over me. It would make it so much easier to be with someone, to maybe be with Alé.

  “What are you thinking about?” his voice deep and rough.

  “Nothin’. I’m getting kind of tired, though. Why? What are you thinking about?”

  “I want to date you,” he says confidently.

  My body tenses. “What?” I try to ask lightly, but it comes out more as a croak than anything.

  “Relax.” He laughs, his hand gently rubbing up and down my arm. “Dates. You know, like dinner, movies, whatever we want.”

  “Why?” I whisper. I’m a mess. I just had a freak-out and he wants to date me?

  “Why not? You’re down to earth. You’re tough. You’re hot and you treat my family good. And from the action that happened earlier, you’re a woman who stands up for herself and what she believes in. I like that.” I can hear the smile in his voice as if he has this all figured out. He couldn’t be more off track. There is no way that this could work.

  “I… I’m not really the dating kind,” I whisper.

  “So, you plan on being alone forever?” he probes.

  I lift my head and turn to look at him. Our eyes meet and suddenly, my nerves are on high alert. His dark, mysterious eyes are locked on me, eyebrow cocked.

  “I’m not alone,” I counter.

  “You live alone.” He states the obvious.

  “So? Just because I live alone doesn’t mean I’m alone.” I shake my head defensively. “I have Addison and Cam,” I shrug. “I have a great job and some amazing clients.”

  “It’s just a couple of dates. Get to know each other better. And who knows, nothing may come of it,” he smiles, “or everything may come of it.”