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by Steel, Danielle


  Well, Gladdie, how does it look to you? he asked, as he looked around for one last time before going to change. He had bought a new Armani suit for the occasion.

  Looks good to me, Jack. Really good, she said, as she admired all the details. She loved his parties. They were always terrific.

  Keep an eye on things for me. I'm going to go upstairs and change, he said, and disappeared into the elevator. He was back, looking like the cover on GQ twenty minutes later. The suit was dark blue, but there was nothing stuffy about it, and the way he wore it made him look like a male model.

  Very handsome, Gladdie said in an undertone when he came back downstairs again. You look terrific. Do you have a date tonight? she inquired with interest. The last starlet had passed through his hands several weeks before, and she knew he was currently cultivating a well-known model.

  At least a dozen of them, he laughed. Unfortunately, Starr left for Paris this morning. But she had me invite her sister.

  Very generous of her ' or very foolish ' Gladdie commented with a grin.

  I think she has a friend in Paris. He smiled, feeling pleased with life, and pleasantly unencumbered, which was how he liked things.

  Are the kids coming tonight? Gladdie asked, helping herself to a glass of Champagne as the first guests started to come through the door. Elizabeth Taylor had just walked in with Michael Jackson. And Barbra Streisand and a friend were right behind them.

  They said they'd try, Jack said absently as he went to greet his guests, and within half an hour the place was jumping. The music added to the festive mood, and celebrities came and went, as outside, photographers snapped their pictures, but Jack wouldn't allow them in the building. He wanted everyone to relax and enjoy the party, without fear of the press or the tabloids or the cameras.

  It was nearly seven o'clock when Jan and Amanda drove up to the door, and Jan relinquished her car to the valet, and preceded her mother into Julie's. She had been worried on the way that Amanda would suddenly panic and change her mind, and the photographers who leapt at them instantly almost did it. But Jan pulled her into the store as quickly as she could, and Amanda looked suddenly breathless and a little startled when she got there. It was all so dazzling and so festive and so busy. There were faces she recognized everywhere, and two of the actresses she had worked with years before suddenly rushed up to her and threw their arms around her. They were obviously thrilled to see her and wanted to know everything she'd been doing. She managed to tell them about Matt, and that this was the first time she'd been out since he died. And from a little distance, Jan watched her proudly, as she walked over to say hello to her sister-in-law, Julie.

  And from across the room, where he was talking to an old friend, Jack suddenly looked at them in amazement. I don't believe it, ' he muttered under his breath and excused himself to greet Jan. Would it be rude to say I'm stunned? he whispered to her, glancing at Amanda, and Jan laughed as she whispered back to him.

  Not as stunned as I am. I've been trying to get her out of the house all year. This is the first time she's been out since Dad died, and probably the first time she's been to a party like this since she retired from the movies.

  I'm honored, he said, and sounded as though he meant it, and he waited patiently nearby for Amanda to finish her conversations, and then he walked up to her and thanked her for coming. Julie's will never be the same again after this, he smiled at her. You've finally given us the distinction I've always thought we deserved, but couldn't pull off without you. He was teasing her, but only a little.

  I doubt that, Jack. It's good to see you. It's a beautiful party. I've already run into lots of old friends here.

  I'm sure they're happy to see you. You'll have to come back more often. We'll throw a party for you anytime you want to come shopping. He seemed in good spirits, and Amanda accepted a glass of Champagne from a passing waiter. And as she did, Jack noticed that her hand shook just a little. But there was no other indication whatsoever that she was nervous. She was a thoroughbred to her core, and unlike some of her old co-stars, she looked both beautiful and distinguished. You look incredible, Amanda, he said, hoping he didn't sound too pushy, but it was hard not to notice her looks anywhere, even in a crowd like this one. And amidst the sequin dresses and holiday satins, her well-cut navy wool dress and sapphire earrings made her look even more spectacular than they did. Have you been well? he asked politely.

  She hesitated for only a moment. More or less, she said honestly, with a sad smile. It's been a pretty rough year. Looking back, I guess I'm just lucky I survived it. And she meant it.

  I went through that once, he said thoughtfully, thinking suddenly of Dori. It was the second time that Amanda had made him think of her, more due to the circumstances than to any physical resemblance, or maybe it was just a feeling.

  I thought you were divorced, Amanda said, looking confused as people all around the room recognized her and pointed discreetly ' look ' over there ' it's Amanda Robbins ' is she in a movie? ' haven't seen her in years ' she looks fabulous ' do you think she's had a face-lift? ' still great-looking ' The room was buzzing, although she seemed oblivious to it. She had enormous presence and poise.

  I was divorced, Jack said quietly, explaining his comment to her. In his dark suit, standing next to her, he looked almost like her escort. But a close friend of mine died thirteen years ago. It wasn't quite the same as what you went through, but it was pretty rugged. She was a very special person.

  I'm sorry, Amanda said gently, with eyes that touched his like matchsticks igniting something that almost frightened him when he felt it. Behind the cool facade, she was a powerful and very magnetic woman. And oddly, after her agonizing year, she looked much more alive to him than when she had been with Matthew. But before he could say anything more to her, he got called away to solve some minor problem with the guest list. Two major stars had just turned up at the door, and had not been invited. He told the security guards at the door to let them in, and then got pulled away for something else by Gladdie. And by then, Jan had come to check on her mother.

  How are you doing, Mom? Are you okay? She hoped she wasn't ready to leave yet. Jan thought it was good for her to be there, and besides, it was a terrific party.

  I'm fine, sweetheart. Thank you for bringing me. I haven't seen some of these people in years, and Jack has been very pleasant. It was almost an apology for the things she had said about him for the past three years, but he seemed much more respectable to her than he had before, and very comfortable on his own turf. She would have hated to admit it, but she almost liked him. When's Paul coming?

  Any minute, I hope. He was in a meeting. And shortly after that, Jan got called to the phone by Gladdie. It was Paul, the meeting was taking forever, but he promised that he'd be there as soon as it was over. You'll never guess who's here, she said, sounding happy and mischievous, and he laughed as he listened. She was in a better mood than she'd been in in weeks and he was happy to hear it. The tension between them had been getting increasingly stressful.

  Knowing my father, it could be anyone. Tom Cruise ' Madonna '

  Better than that, she smiled as she held the phone, Amanda Robbins.

  You actually got her to go with you? Good job, kid. I'm proud of you. How's she doing?

  She knows practically everyone here, and she looks terrific. She combed her hair, put on a little makeup, and presto magic, the movie star returns. I wish I had her looks.

  You've got her beat hands down, baby. Don't ever forget that.

  I love you, she said, touched by what he'd said, whether or not he meant it.

  Just keep my father away from her, if she's looking so great. That's one headache we don't need. She'd never speak to me again, and neither would you.

  I don't think there's any danger of that, Jan laughed at what he'd said. But he's been very nice to her. The place is mobbed, and he's been pretty busy. They keep getting celebrity crashers.

  Only women, I'm sure. Poor guy, they'll probabl
y eat him alive and tear his suit off ' life is tough for some of us. That's my daddy. Anyway, sweetheart, I'll be there as soon as I can. Hang in there. I'll call you when I leave the office.

  See you soon. It was the nicest exchange they'd had in weeks, and when she went to look for her mother, she saw that she was talking to Jack again, and decided to leave them alone. It wouldn't be such a bad thing if they could be friends finally, and stop complaining about each other. And from the distance, while they talked, Jan could see that her mother was smiling, and Jack seemed very earnest.

  As it turned out, he was telling her about his buying trips in Europe, and how much he disliked Milan and preferred Paris. And they were exchanging experiences at Claridge's in London. The two seemed like old friends as Jan drifted away to chat with someone she knew, and another hour had gone by when Paul called again, but this time he sounded frazzled. The meeting hadn't gone well, and when he'd gone downstairs, he found that his car had been towed, and he had no way to get to the party, other than to call a cab, but he wanted Jan to pick him up, and in exchange, he promised to take her to dinner. It was really too late for him to try to get to the party.

  What about my mom? I can't just leave her here, she said, sounding worried.

  Why don't you have my dad put her in a cab. He might even have a limo or two standing by. He usually does that for big stars who need a ride somewhere. Just ask him.

  Okay, I'll try. But if she has a fit, I'll call you. I may have to take her home. Otherwise, I'll be there in ten minutes.

  Be here, he said firmly. I've had a stinking afternoon and I want to see you. A nice, quiet dinner somewhere sounded great to her too, and she hoped that her mother would be willing to have Jack put her in a cab or a limo.

  When she found them again, still together in a corner of the room, she explained the situation to them, and for an instant her mother looked panicked. But Jack stepped into it before Amanda could say a word to her daughter. Paul's right. I have two cars right outside. Whenever your mother wants to go home, I'll have one of them drive her. How does that sound to you? he asked, turning to Amanda, who still looked startled to be deserted by Jan, but she also didn't want to be a burden to her.

  I ' that's fine ' actually, you don't have to do that, Jack. I can take a cab. I'm just a short hop away in Bel Air. I'll call a taxi.

  No, he said quietly but firmly, you'll take the limo. You shouldn't be riding around at this hour in a taxi. Amanda laughed at his firmness and the attention, and agreed to take the limo. In fact, she began to make noises about leaving, but he looked so disappointed that she was embarrassed, and agreed to stay a little longer. She was actually having a great time. Matthew had always hated parties, and they hardly ever went to any.

  Jan kissed her good-bye and went to retrieve her car, and pick up Paul, and Jack kept a paternal eye on Amanda, making sure she had something to drink, a plate of hors d'oeuvres, met his friends, and felt entirely at ease at the party. She was shocked to realize finally that she was one of the last to leave, and it was already eight-thirty.

  How embarrassing ' you're going to have to kick me out the door to get rid of me, she said apologetically, and extended a hand to shake his, but he insisted on taking her home himself in the limo.

  Don't be silly, Amanda. It's no trouble for me. We're family, besides it's nice to have a chance to chat after all these years. I'm happy to do it. There was no getting him to agree to let her go home alone, and he left Gladdie with all the instructions she needed when he left. The party was over, and the friends he had planned to have dinner with had already left without him. He had told them he might join them later, or not, but not to count on it in case something came up. And he had no other obligations. And once they were in the car, and driving up Rodeo Drive, he asked her casually if she'd like to stop somewhere for a bite to eat, just a hamburger or a salad, it was such a good chance to talk about their children. She hesitated, thinking she really should go home, but she had no one to account to. And she was a little hungry. He made a good point. She had been worried about Jan and Paul lately, and she wondered if he had also noticed something strained between them. Maybe that was why he wanted to have dinner with her. She assumed so, and decided it was a good idea, and gratefully accepted his offer.

  He had the driver take them to the Ivy on North Robertson, and knowing him as well as they did, they gave him a quiet corner table. George Christy was there too, with a group of friends, and he waved when he saw Jack, and then his eyes grew wide when he saw that he was with Amanda Robbins.

  They ordered pasta and salads, and Jack moved comfortably into the gap in the conversation. As he had at the store, he talked about a wide variety of things, painting, art, travel, literature, the theater. He was amazingly well informed and pleasant to talk to, and she realized very quickly that he was not the masher she had thought him. And then finally, when the food came, he brought up the subject of their children.

  Do you think they're okay? He looked concerned, but he seemed perfectly at ease with her. They seemed able to talk about any topic.

  I don't know, she said honestly. I've been worried about them for a while, but I guess I haven't been much help to Jan. I've been so wrapped up in myself for the past year, I feel as though I've failed her as a mother.

  That's nonsense, he said kindly, this was the time you needed for you. You can't always be there for everyone else. I'm sure she understood that. She's a terrific girl' . I just hope Paul is treating her well. She doesn't look happy.

  Amanda sighed then, not wanting to break a confidence, but anxious to share what information she had with Paul's father. This was a perfect opportunity for them to help their children. I don't want to say anything I shouldn't, Jack. But I think she's very upset about not getting pregnant.

  I thought that might be it, he said, looking pensively at Amanda. Have they been trying that seriously? Paul never tells me.

  From what I understand, for two years now. That can be very depressing.

  Or a lot of fun, depending on how you look at it, he said irreverently, and she laughed in spite of herself, and then they both grew serious again.

  They don't look like they're having fun, although she seemed better tonight than she has in a long time. She looked like a little girl when she left to pick up Paul.

  Maybe she was just relieved to see you feeling better, he said gently, and Amanda nodded.

  Maybe. The last I heard of it, she wanted Paul to go to a specialist earlier this year, and he didn't want to.

  That serious then. That's not good news. Do you think he's gone yet?

  I don't think so, although I know she has.

  And?

  I don't know the details, Amanda admitted to him. But I do know they're not pregnant. Or at least I don't think so.

  They would have told us if it had worked by now. It really is a worrisome problem. I've teased him about it from time to time, insensitive moron that I am ' and of course now I realize that I shouldn't have. I wonder if I can broach it with him. He looked pensive.

  I think he worries a lot about his business, Amanda said fairly. She had grown very fond of Paul in the past three years, just as Jack had of her daughter. They were both nice people.

  Paul worries about everything, Jack said with a worried frown. He's just that kind of person, that's why he's good at what he does, and he's going to be a major player in the film industry one day. Unlike his father, who produced some of the worst movies you've ever seen. Surpassed only by the ones in which I acted. I'm a lot better at women's dresses.

  I'm sure you're being modest about the films, Amanda laughed, and then told him how much she liked the store. It's beautiful, Jack. I'll have to come back one afternoon to go shopping. She liked what she had seen there, and much to her surprise, she liked him too. He was intelligent and interesting and fun to be with. The evening had gone very quickly. And as they left the restaurant, he promised her that he would talk to Paul about going to a specialist with Jan.
/>   He may not appreciate my talking to him about it, but I'll give it a try.

  I'd really appreciate that, she said gratefully as they got back into the limo.

  I'll let you know how it works out, he promised. Just think, if we play our cards right, we might be grandparents again by this time next year. Now, there's a thought. I'm turning sixty right after Christmas. That's bad enough without adding more grandchildren ' for a man like me, that could absolutely destroy my reputation. She liked the way he made light of it, and she couldn't help laughing about it with him, and then for a serious moment, he talked to her again about Dori, how much she had meant to him, and the fact that he had never wanted to be seriously involved with anyone again since then. It's just too painful, he said honestly. I don't want to care that much again about anyone but my children. When the women in my life leave, I want to wave good-bye and forget them. Not cry for two years and remember them for the rest of my life with sorrow. I can't bring myself to do that.

  Maybe the right person hasn't come along again, Jack, she said quietly, thinking of Matthew. She couldn't imagine loving anyone again either, and she said so.

  It's different for you, he said sensibly, you were married for twenty-six years. You haven't been using up your tickets all over the place the way I have. I've just been having fun, and that's all I want. You should have a life with someone else, if that's what you want, after you've looked around for a while, he said gently. You haven't been out here in a long time. You may find you actually enjoy it.

  I doubt that, she said honestly. I can't even imagine dating again, Jack. Not after all these years. I think I'm past that.

  You never know what will happen in life, or who'll come along. Somehow life gives us gifts when we least expect them or a good kick in the behind. Either one. But it's never what you were expecting.

 

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