Special Delivery

by Steel, Danielle

  Chapter Eleven

  Jack cooked dinner for her that night, and he seemed very quiet to Amanda. She was afraid that he was upset about what Jan and Paul had said. But when she asked him, he said that he wasn't. He seemed very comfortable, and at peace with himself, and when they sat on the deck afterward and looked up at the stars, he reached for her hand, and leaned over to kiss her. It was a perfect evening.

  There's something I want to ask you, he said finally. She couldn't imagine what was coming. She turned to look at him with a mildly worried frown. I did a lot of thinking this afternoon. Actually, I've done a lot of thinking lately. It just seemed so easy to let Jan and Paul take the baby. It was easier to let you make that decision.

  It seemed such a great thing to do for them. She sounded disappointed. She still wasn't sure what she was feeling.

  It was. You were incredible to do it. But it was never right. Maybe whatever Powers there are knew that, and got her pregnant. He paused, but only for an instant. I want us to keep the baby. He's our son ' I really want him. There were tears in his eyes in the darkness, but she couldn't see them.

  You do? For the second time that day she looked as though someone could have knocked her over with a feather. Are you sure?

  Of course I'm sure. And I'm tired of all this stupid modern bullshit. I want us to get married. Now. Tomorrow. Immediately. I don't want our son to be born out of wedlock.

  That still gives you four weeks. Amanda smiled at him, wondering if he really meant it, or was just being noble. You don't have to do this. I love you just as much as if we were married.

  So do I. So why not be? This is such a dumb way to do things. I live in Malibu, and you live in Bel Air, and we sleep together on weekends? I want to be there for night feedings and runny noses, and his first step and first tooth, and your first gray hair, and ' He was smiling at her, and she was laughing at him.

  I hate to tell you, you've already missed it. About ten years ago, in fact.

  Then I don't want to miss the rest. I don't know what I've been thinking. I've been so busy protecting myself for the last twenty years, that I forgot about protecting you. More importantly, I'd forgotten how good this can be. I don't want just part of it, or the easy times. I want all of it. I want to be there if you get sick, or if you're happy, or sad, or need me. And I want you there for me too. Even if I start to drool at the same time he does. He gently touched her belly and she put his finger to her lips and kissed it.

  I want to be there for you too, she said softly. And you have been there for me. And then suddenly, she looked worried again. You don't think it's too soon? But this time, he laughed out loud, and their neighbors could have heard him.

  Amanda, I love you. Have you looked at yourself? That's quite a profile. No, it's not a moment too soon. Not a minute. Let's get married next weekend. I'll call the kids, and if one of them has one lousy word to say about it, I'm going to disinherit them, and I'm going to say so. And that includes Louise! It's time those kids gave you a little support for a change, instead of just taking from you, or expecting you to accept them, and let them say anything they damn well please to you. I want to see smiles this time, and hear congratulations! They owe us this one. And she could see from the fire in his eyes that he wasn't kidding and she loved it.

  And the next day, he did exactly what he said he would. He called all their kids and told them he and Amanda were getting married. The wedding was set for the following Saturday. Jack had asked an old friend, a judge, to marry them. He was going to do it at the store, and afterward they were having a reception for two hundred people. And Jack and Gladdie did everything. Much as Amanda would have hated to admit it to him, she was finally too tired to do it. She suddenly felt fourteen months pregnant, and she looked it.

  He even found a dress for her, a beautiful cream-colored Gazar that fell over her vast form like petals. It was perfect. She was going to wear flowers in her hair, and carry a bouquet of tube roses, philanopsis orchids, and freesia. Both her daughters had agreed to be there, and Jack had invited them both to come to the store to pick out their dresses. Jan had come willingly, but of course Louise didn't. But she had promised Jack on the phone that on the day of the wedding, she'd be pleasant. And she was furious he'd called her. She thought her mother should have done it. She was always furious about something.

  And when the day of the wedding came, Jack and Amanda took a short walk down the beach in Malibu and then she went back to her place to dress with her daughters. Both of them had agreed to help her. And she was as nervous as any bride, as her hands trembled when she slipped her dress on. The hairdresser had come to do her hair, in the smooth chignon that had been her trademark, and she looked spectacular, even eight and a half months pregnant.

  You look nice, Mom. Louise stood behind her, and spoke to the reflection in the mirror, when Jan went downstairs to check the flowers.

  Thank you, Amanda said gratefully, and then slowly she turned to face her. You're not too angry at me? But even if she was, Amanda was doing exactly what she wanted.

  I'm not angry. I still miss Dad though. Even if he was a pain in the neck sometimes. Her eyes filled with tears as she said it. She had not only forgiven her mother finally, but her father.

  I miss him too, Lou. Amanda took her older daughter in her arms and held her for a moment and then pulled away to look at her. She was difficult, but essentially a decent person. But I love Jack too.

  He's a nice guy, Louise conceded, and then her eyes clouded again. There was something she had to ask her. Would you have done it for me, Mom? I mean give me the baby, if I couldn't have one. The question had tormented her from the beginning.

  Of course I would. I would do it for either of you.

  I always thought you loved her more. She was always so special to you. Louise's voice choked on a sob, and her mother was shocked by what she was saying.

  So were you. You're both special. I love both of you. Of course I'd have done that for you. How could you think I wouldn't?

  Stupid, I guess. Jerry said you would when I talked to him about it.

  Then he's smarter than you are.

  And then Louise surprised her even further. I'm glad you're keeping it. It'll be good for you. It'll keep you young ' or drive you crazy.

  Probably both. Amanda laughed through her own tears, as Jan walked into the room, and Amanda hugged Louise once more and a secret look passed between them. Nothing like that had ever happened. And then she turned to both of them, and asked them if they'd be with her when she had the baby. I don't think Jack's going to make it. He almost threw up in Lamaze class.

  Louise laughed at what she said, and looked enormously flattered. So did Jerry. But he was fine when the time came. Maybe Jack will be too.

  I don't think his vintage does childbirth.

  Well, we'll be there. Jan put an arm through her sister's, and they both smiled at their mother.

  It won't be for another two or three weeks. Just make sure I can reach you when the time comes.

  Don't worry, Mom, they said in chorus, and with that the limousine arrived, and the photographer. And they almost forgot her bouquet. She was so nervous she was breathless, but she looked terrific. And they helped her into the car, and they were all laughing at how hard it was to get her in it. She could hardly move now.

  And when they arrived at the store, all three of them were dazzled. The flowers were spectacular, and there was literally a solid ceiling of flowers above them. There were orchids and roses and lilies of the valley. It was the most beautiful thing Amanda had ever seen, and when she stood next to Jack with the judge, and her children at her side, she was suddenly overcome with emotion. It meant just as much to her, or perhaps more, as her first wedding. She was wiser now, and knew how lucky she was to have him. And at this time in their lives, they suited each other to perfection.

  The judge declared them man and wife, and this time, just as Jack had requested of them, there were smiles and congratulations, and they
genuinely meant it. The whole family posed for photographs, and drank Champagne, except for Amanda, who drank ginger ale. And twenty minutes later, the guests arrived. It seemed like an enormous wedding.

  Everyone was still there at midnight, and Amanda was so tired that Jack didn't dare keep her there a moment longer. She threw her bouquet from the staircase, and Gladdie caught it, while George Christy wrote down names. He was the only member of the press that Jack had invited. And as they ran to the car, the staff threw petals at them. They weren't going far. They were spending two days at the Bel Air, two blocks from her house, but Amanda could hardly wait to get there and take her clothes off. It had been the happiest day of her life, but she was beyond exhausted, and she looked it. Jack put an arm around her in the car. He had insisted on driving to the Bel Air in his red Ferrari, and it was covered with balloons and white satin ribbons, and someone had written on it in shaving cream 'Just Married.

  I feel like a kid again, he beamed at her. He had loved it.

  I feel like a grandmother, she laughed, a very fat one. You and Gladdie did such a great job. It was all so perfect. I can't wait to see the pictures.

  He had ordered Champagne in the room, and more ginger ale for her. There was a stack of videos, and as soon as the bellboy left he helped her take her clothes off. She could hardly move as she lay on the bed in her pantyhose and her bra. She had had a backache for hours, but she didn't want to spoil the moment and tell him. She lay back on the bed with a happy sigh, and let her head fall back on a mountain of down pillows.

  'Oh my God ' I've died and gone to heaven ' she said with a smile, and he looked down at her, a happy man. This was everything he wanted. The past was gone now.

  Can I get you anything? he asked, as he took off his tie.

  A forklift, she grinned at him. I'm never going to be able to get up if I have to go to the bathroom.

  I'll carry you, he said gallantly.

  It would kill you.

  He dropped his suit on a chair, and came to lie beside her, drinking Champagne and eating the strawberries and truffles the hotel had left at their bedside. Try one of these, he said, putting a chocolate in her mouth, and she sighed contentedly, as he started to flip through the movies. How about a porno?

  I'm not sure I'm up to it, she laughed.

  On our wedding night? He looked disappointed.

  We don't have to do that anymore. We're married. He grinned at her, and put a movie on, and it was so awful, she laughed at it with him. But when he got amorous, she looked at him with a mournful expression. Baby, I'd like to, but I don't think I can even take the rest of my clothes off.

  I'll help you, he said hopefully, but she could see that he had had a lot of wine, and she didn't take him seriously, as she lumbered out of bed and went to the bathroom. She had been a thousand times that night, and lying on the bed her backache had gotten worse instead of better.

  I think I'll take a shower, she said from the bathroom doorway.

  Now? It was one o'clock in the morning, but somehow she thought it might make her feel better. She was beyond exhausted. She hated to feel so rotten on their wedding night, but it had been a long day and a long night. And she had been on her feet for hours. They felt like footballs.

  But the shower made her feel better, and when she came back to the bedroom, they were still going at it on TV, and Jack was snoring softly. She sat down on the bed for a minute and just looked at him, thinking about how odd life was. How life put you together with different people at different times. She couldn't imagine being with anyone but him now.

  He stirred slightly as she slipped into bed next to him, and a minute later, she turned the light and the TV off. But as soon as she lay down, the baby started kicking. It was going to be a long night at this rate, she thought to herself. She lay there for what seemed like ages, but she couldn't sleep. She still had the backache, and now along with it, she felt a very odd kind of pressure, as though the baby was pushing his head downward. And then suddenly, a twinge at the very bottom of her belly struck a chord of memory. She was in labor. And the twinges were contractions.

  They were mild at first. And she noticed that it was fully ten minutes before she had the next one. They were slow and steady and regular, and at three in the morning, as she still lay in the dark next to him, they were coming every five minutes. She wasn't sure if she should wake him. It seemed silly if it was too early. But he heard her when she went to the bathroom.

  You okay? he muttered sleepily when she came back to bed and moved closer to him.

  I think I'm having the baby, she whispered.

  He sat bolt upright. Now? Here? I'll call the doctor. He instantly flipped the light on, and they both squinted.

  I don't think it's time yet. But as soon as she said it, she had a good hard pain that made her grit her teeth and writhe beside him. But it was over in less than a minute.

  Are you crazy? Do you want to have the baby here? He jumped out of bed and put his pants on, and she was laughing at him when the next pain came. But suddenly they were coming every two minutes.

  I haven't even unpacked my suitcase, she said between pains. I wanted to spend at least one night here.

  I'll bring you back here, I swear, after we have the baby. Anytime you want. Now get your ass out of bed so we can get to the doctor before you have this baby.

  I meant I have nothing to wear.

  What's wrong with what you were wearing?

  I can't wear my wedding dress to the hospital. I'll look silly.

  I won't tell anyone what it is. Just get dressed, Amanda, for God's sake' . What are you doing? '

  I'm having a contraction, she said between clenched teeth again, and almost as soon as she did he clutched his stomach.

  I think the Champagne was poisoned.

  Maybe you're in labor too, she said when the pain stopped. Call Jan and Louise, she said, crawling out of bed. But she was having a hard time standing up now.

  I'll call an ambulance.

  I don't want an ambulance. She was trapped between laughter and tears when the next pain came. You drive me.

  I can't. I'm blind drunk. Can't you see that?

  No, you look fine to me. Then I'll drive. Just call Jan and Louise.

  I don't know their numbers, and if you don't put your damn wedding dress on right now, I'm calling the police and having you arrested.

  That would be nice, she said in muffled tones as she slipped the wedding dress over her head and clutched her stomach. But when she tried to put her shoes on, she found her feet were too swollen. I'll have to go barefoot, she said practically.

  For God's sake ' Amanda ' please ' He threw her suitcase on the bed, and started pawing through it. And miraculously, he found a pair of slippers. Put these on.

  What is it about you people in retail? Why couldn't I just go barefoot?

  You'd look foolish. They were standing in the doorway of the room by then, and it was just after four o'clock in the morning, but the next pain was so hard that she had to lean against the doorway. Just watching her, Jack started to moan, and she put an arm around him as they left the room and walked slowly to the front of the hotel, where he had parked the car. It felt as if it took forever to get there. In truth, it took more than ten minutes, and she was beginning to worry that she'd have the baby before they ever reached the Ferrari.

  She slipped into the driver's seat, and held her hand out to him, praying that he had remembered to bring the keys. She didn't want to wait a minute longer. But fortunately, they were in his pocket. And he handed them over to her, and slipped into the car beside her. And as they careened out of the parking lot through Bel Air, she gave him Jan's number and told him to call her.

  Tell her to call Louise. Just tell them to meet me there, in labor and delivery. We'll be there in five minutes.

  They'll probably send me to geriatrics.

  Just relax, you'll be fine, she said, smiling at him. It was a hell of a way to spend a honeymoon. Any minute they
were going to have a baby. So much so, that she had to pull off the road for the next contraction.

  Oh my God, he screamed at her, what are you doing?

  I'm trying not to wreck your Ferrari while I have a contraction, she said, sounding more like the girl in The Exorcist than the woman he had just married, and he looked at her in horror.

  Shit! I think you're in transition!

  Don't tell me what I'm in, just shut up and call my goddamn daughter.

  That's it ' that's it ' that's what the monster at the hospital said ' she said you'd start behaving like someone I don't even know. That's transition! She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or kill him. But at least he called Jan then, and announced that her mother was in transition.

  Is this a joke? Jan asked, she'd been sound asleep and she didn't know what he was talking about. It was obvious he had had too much to drink at the wedding.

  Of course this isn't a joke, he shouted into the phone, sounding hysterical. She's having the baby and we're on the way to the hospital, and she's in transition. She sounds like a total stranger.

  Are you sure it's Mom? Jan laughed at him. He was an even bigger mess than her mother had predicted.

  Well, she's wearing your mother's wedding dress at least. And she wants you to call Louise. But hurry!

  We'll be there in ten minutes! she said, and hung up just as Amanda screeched into the hospital driveway, and threw open the door to the Ferrari, with an exasperated look at her brand-new husband.

  You park it. I'm busy. And don't scratch the car, my husband will kill you.

  Very funny, lady. Very funny, whoever you are. Looks just like my wife too, he said to a night guard, who shook his head and pointed to where Jack could park it. He figured they were probably on drugs, everyone in L.A. was.

  Amanda was already in the lobby by then, and sitting in a wheelchair. She had given them her doctor's name, and just as they had learned in Lamaze, she was panting and blowing. The contractions were getting ugly.

  What are you doing? Jack asked as he looked at her, and then he remembered. I forgot my stopwatch. But a nurse was already wheeling her into the elevator, as she clutched the arms of the wheelchair. She was making Jack very nervous. Baby, are you okay? ' I mean really '