“Your mother and your sister have been looking forward to this night for weeks. Regardless of how you feel about us,” he said, motioning to himself and Jen. “I think you can agree that it would be in Lanie’s best interest for us all to have a nice time this evening.”
Oh dear.
Logan’s face turned a shade of red as his fury began to build. I had no idea how he was keeping it under control. Still staring at Robert, Logan replied through clenched teeth, “Liv, would you like a tour of this beautiful home.” Then he extended his hand to me and turned to face me. The moment his eyes met mine, they began to plead for help.
I gave him a reassuring smile. “Yes, Logan, I would love a tour.”
He led me back through the hall and up the staircase. We entered a room with dark blue walls, a bed with a grey comforter, and mission-style dressers. It must’ve been Logan’s old room.
He began to pace as I closed the door. If this evening had been planned for weeks, it meant Logan had weeks to let this apprehension build up.
He grabbed his hair. He sat down on the bed, then instantly got up and started pacing again. “What the fuck was that?” He half-shouted, half-whispered. He turned to me. “Who does that asshole think he is? Did you hear him, Liv?” He pointed to the door. “Did you hear that shit?”
“I know…” I started.
“We’re here two minutes. Two minutes!”
“Logan…”
“I mean, why does he think I’m here? It’s sure as hell not for him! And it’s not for my cheating mother. I can’t believe that asshole is living in my father’s house, I mean…”
“Logan!”
“…Of course I’m here for Lanie! Do you know how much I want to put my fist through his smug face right now?” His anger intensified.
I tried again. “It was uncalled for, I…”
“She’s the only reason I’m here. I would NEVER do anything to upset her!”
“Logan, I know…”
“What the hell do they think they’re going to accomplish with this stupid dinner anyway? Do they think they’re going to make us a family? My dad would never allow his eleven-year-old daughter to have a boyfriend. What the hell are they thinking, Liv?”
“It sounds like…”
“Since when is it okay, for an eleven-year-old girl to have a boyfriend?”
He continued to speak with anguish in his beautiful eyes. I couldn’t bear the thought of him struggling this way, but I couldn’t get a word in to even attempt to help him. Without thinking, I grabbed him behind the neck and pulled him down to me so that his lips firmly pressed on mine. At first, he didn't move. It took him a moment to realize what was happening. Then, as our lips parted, his hands took my waist, pulling my stomach into his, intensifying our embrace.
I instantly regretted my thoughtless action, but I needed to get him to calm down. As his hand drifted to the back of my neck, his anger melted away. A low moan rumbled deep in his throat, which made my own heart begin to pound hard, and I was immediately reminded of what his touch does to me.
Before I lost all my senses, I pushed him away and instinctively brought my fingers to my lips from the tingling.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do," I breathed, trying hard to pretend I wasn’t fazed by what just happened. "You weren't listening to me."
He stared at me with intensity for several seconds. "That's an interesting way to get my attention."
I hesitantly replied, "It was either that or slap you. And I'm not a violent person."
One corner of his mouth turned up, but his eyes weren't behind the smile. His eyes matched how I was feeling. Shocked. Confused. "Well, you've got my full attention now."
As he stared at me, waiting for me to speak, my mind drew a blank. I didn't know what to say. All I knew was that he was buried under a mountain of hurt as he still mourned his father’s death. As irrational and impossible as it was, the only thing I wanted to do was make his pain go away. I took his hands.
"You're here for Lanie, right?" I asked. He nodded, his eyes remaining deeply focused on me. "Then nothing else matters. Put all your energy tonight into her. Into making this a great night for her. Nothing that Robert or your mother says matters. Only Lanie matters. It's a shitty situation, Logan, plain and simple, but Lanie is stuck dead in the middle of it, and she needs you." He remained silent, so I continued, "Reacting to Robert isn't worth it."
He took a deep breath, staring at nothing in particular.
I gave him a comforting smile. "And just so you know, when I need to keep my cool, I Taser people in my mind. Robert got a good zap downstairs."
Laughter came out of his throat, and I giggled at his reaction to my comment. Pulling my hands, he drew me close and planted a small kiss on the top of my head. "I'm so glad you're here, Liv."
We exited the room, heading back downstairs. Jen’s nervous expression as we entered the kitchen receded once she saw that Logan had calmed down. Logan and I joined Lanie in setting the table while Robert and Jen quietly finished with the food. After the food was on the table, we all took a seat.
Jen and Robert had made quite an effort with the dinner. Grilled steak tenderloin and potatoes were accompanied by a tossed salad, dinner rolls, and steamed asparagus, all accented by fancy dinnerware and fabric napkins. The aroma made my mouth water. The atmosphere started out slightly uncomfortable but became much more breathable as the dinner progressed.
Mostly, we listened to Lanie talk about school and her boyfriend. She was the common ground. The one thing everyone had a vested interest in. If Logan had any sort of issue with Lanie's boyfriend, he kept it to himself, listening intently with a delighted smile as she talked about him.
After dinner, Logan and Lanie began a game of Guitar Hero. Robert went to his office, and I began to wash dishes as Jen cleared the table.
"You and Logan seem very happy," Jen said.
"Oh, it's not like that," I replied. "We're just friends." If I had a nickel for every time I said that...
"Oh...really?” she hesitated. “You two just seem so...close."
"I suppose we are close. He's my best friend," I said without thinking. It was the first time I said it out loud. It was true. Logan was my best friend.
Jen gave me a curious look, then smiled. "Well, you seem like a very nice girl, Liv. I'm glad he has you."
I peered out to the living room and watched Logan with his sister, and a warmth came over me at the sight of his undeniable devotion to her. It occurred to me that I really did care very deeply for him.
"It didn't happen how Logan thinks it did," Jen said.
"Huh?" I asked, having no idea what she was talking about.
"My relationship with Robert."
"Oh." I tensed. This conversation was taking a very sharp turn. Why was she telling me this? It was in none of my business in any sort of way.
"Robert has always been a good friend to us. To Logan's dad too. He was around the kids as they grew up. He was devastated with Andrew's passing, just like we were," she sighed. "Logan misunderstood something he saw, and he's hated Robert ever since. And me. I just wish..." She didn't finish. As I set a plate in the drying rack, I gave her a reassuring smile. She collected herself, then let out a nervous laugh. "...I'm sorry Liv, I'm sure this is the last thing you want to hear."
"It's okay. Really," I said. Jen seemed nice. She and Robert seemed to truly love each other and Lanie. They had made such an incredible effort with this dinner for Logan that it was clear they cared about him too. "Sometimes things just take time."
Logan entered the kitchen with a murderous expression. “When were you going to tell me?” he fumed at his mother.
Jen let out a sigh. She knew exactly what he was talking about. “I was going to wait until after your birthday. Logan, I’m sorry.”
“Bullshit. Your apologies mean nothing to me, Mom.” He faced me. “Let’s go.”
I dried my hands on a towel, gave Jen an apologetic look, and followed Log
an to the living room.
He lifted Lanie off the floor in an embrace. “See ya, squirt.”
“Lanie, you rock,” I said as I squeezed her. “We have got to hang out sometime.”
Her eyes got wide as I let go of her, and she nodded her head vigorously. “That would be so awesome!”
After slipping on our coats, we exited the house into the brisk winter air. As we sat down and closed the doors to the Mustang, Logan let out a sigh. “Thank fuck that’s over.” He started the engine and waited a moment for the car to warm up.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“It is now.” He ducked his head and looked out the window, taking a look at the house. “They’re selling the house. They didn’t even have the balls to tell me themselves. They had an eleven-year-old do their dirty work,” he laughed sarcastically. “Can you believe that shit?”
I took his hand. “No, I can’t.”
“It’s my home. I grew up there. It’s gonna be gone.”
“It’s just a house, Logan. It’s just a bunch of drywall and two-by-fours. A home is so much more than just a building. It’s where you’re…most comfortable…most at peace…free to be yourself. A home is where you belong.” I looked upward, trying to think of more things that made a home just that. “And that house seems to stress you out.” I brought my thumb and pointer finger together. “Just a little.” When I looked back at him, his gaze was fixed on me.
“Liv, thank you for coming tonight. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t here. You’re an angel.” He squinted his eyes at me like he had just figured something out.
“Trust me, I’m no angel.”
He shook off whatever thought he had, put the car in reverse, and backed out of the driveway. As we sped onto the interstate, I fidgeted with the stereo, trying to find a good song.
"You kissed me," he blurted out.
I froze. I was hoping that would be forgotten. "Yeah. I guess I did." I hoped this wasn't going to change things. I didn't want anything to change. Things between us were good the way they were.
"It was kinda cool. We should do it again sometime."
"Oh no. No way. Uh-uh. I told you, it was a distraction method only."
I thought he would chuckle at my remark or tease me about using my 'method' on him anytime, but instead he frowned and became distant. After a while, as we neared my house, he began tapping on his steering wheel. Then he turned to face me with a smile.
“So, about that birthday party…,” he said.
“What birthday party?”
“Ours. It’s still early. Matt is working at Rain tonight…Let’s go celebrate. It would just be us, you and me, but…”
“Yes! Let’s go!”
He made a U-turn and headed for downtown.
Chapter Fifteen
The pounding bass could be heard a block away. The sound increased the closer we got, sending a feeling of excitement through my body. A line formed in front of the entrance door, but Logan led me to the front of the line where Matt was carding people under a heat lamp. Not having to wait in line was a definite perk since we had left our coats in the car. I would’ve froze.
Logan and Matt exchanged a manly handshake. Knowing Matt needed to keep up his distant, bad-ass, creepy image, I refrained from giving him a hug. Instead I simply smiled, which softened his eyes for only a split second. He gave me a friendly wink as we walked past him and into the club.
I followed Logan down the short dim hallway and into the club. People bounced in unison on the dark dance floor straight ahead. Laser and strobe lights flickered to the thump of the bass. Only a few laughs and shouts from the club-goers could be heard over the music. Each beat pounded hard in my heart, which only increased my exhilaration.
Not wanting to lose Logan in the crowd, I took his hand. He ushered me to the bar through the clusters of people. On our way, several female heads turned, appraising the man I was with. I wondered if Logan took notice of their lustful glances.
He leaned on the bar and faced me with a huge grin. “What’ll it be, birthday girl? Let me guess…So-Co.”
I nodded and dug into my pocket. Logan took my wrist and brought his lips to my ear. “This one’s on me.”
“Fine, I’ll get the next one,” I shouted over the music. He rolled his eyes in a non-verbal “whatever.”
We lifted our shots in front of us in a silent toast, then downed them, placing the shot glasses hard on the bar when we were finished. Logan took my hand in an attempt to lead me elsewhere.
“Wait! It’s your turn,” I yelled. “Name your poison.”
Clearly amused, Logan placed his finger on his chin pretending he had to think about it. “Patrón,” he said with one brow up.
“Oh, really now.” I rolled my eyes, following his earlier lead.
The bartender poured the shots, but when I tried to give him my money, he shook his head and pointed to Logan. Chuckling, Logan leaned into me. “I’ve got an ongoing tab here.”
“What? That’s not fair! I wanted to pay!”
He shrugged, entertained at my defeat. After the shots, he ordered us some drinks.
“Eighteen is a pretty big birthday, you know,” he said.
“I suppose so. I’ll finally be legal.” I thought for a moment. “I can get my own apartment!”
He appeared to be in thought for a moment before grinning widely. “You could buy tobacco.”
I scrunched my face up as my palm playfully hit his arm. “Gross.” I thought for a moment. “I could die for my country.”
He looked at me like I was ridiculous, then quickly changed the subject. “You could buy some lottery tickets.”
I barely heard him before grabbing his arm as the best idea ever struck me. “I could get a tattoo! Let’s do that!”
He eyed me suspiciously as if he didn’t think I would ever do something so bold. Chuckling, he continued. “You could get married.”
Smiling, I gave him a ‘whatever’ glance. “And divorced.”
“You can go to the porn shop!” he laughed.
I rolled my eyes and glanced at the bartender, busy at work, as I ignored his comment. “I could bartend.”
“You could go to a strip club.”
“Really? I thought you had to be twenty-one for that.”
“One that doesn’t serve alcohol.”
“Oh, well, you sound like an expert.”
He grinned. “Why, are you interested?”
“No! Of course not!”
Staring at nothing in particular, his grin widened.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing. I’m just planning what we’ll do on your birthday. It’s going to be a day you’ll never forget.”
“I’m not going to a strip club, Logan!”
While we were on our second drink, our attention became diverted to a cackling sound. The second we heard it, we looked at each other, clearly thinking the same thing. WTF was that? We both turned to face the noise, but all we saw was an attractive young brunette with her group of girlfriends.
Suddenly, the cackling noise came out of her. It was her version of a laugh. Our first reaction was shock that such a noise could be coming out of a person. Once the surprise wore off, we looked at each other with the same confused expression, then immediately busted into laughter. Then, she did it again, which intensified our amusement. The next time she did it, I grabbed onto Logan’s arm to steady myself as I giggled uncontrollably, and the time after that, I almost fell to the floor.
Logan fared no better. He was laughing just as hard as me. Between chuckles, he leaned into me. “You’re terrible. Laughing at that poor girl.”
He was right, but I couldn’t help it. It was funny, and the drinks had kicked in. Still laughing, he took my hand and led me through the crowd to the dance floor.
“I love this song!” I proclaimed as we began to dance. Logan’s body flexed and moved to the beat perfectly. His movement was slight, not overdoing it. It was sexy. Look
ing around, I noticed that I wasn’t the only girl watching him.
A few moments later, the music took me over. Nothing could be heard over the rhythm. I closed my eyes as I moved to the beat, the bass pounding throughout my body. When I opened them a few moments later, the first thing I saw was Logan’s bemused eyes burning into me. I smiled, trying to diffuse the intensity, but it didn’t work. The way he looked at me as he moved so flawlessly made my heart skip, and my smile quickly faded as our gaze deepened.
He took my hand and slowly drew me closer to him as our movement slowed, no longer following the beat of the music. With our eyes locked, taking each other in, he placed my hand on his lower back, and put his on mine, pulling me so close that our legs intertwined and our bodies pressed firmly against each other as we continued to dance.
He brought his other hand to my face, delicately moving my damp hair behind my ear with his fingers. My eyes closed shut from his intoxicating touch as my cheek instinctively buried itself into his hand. I needed to stop this, but I couldn’t. I wanted it to happen so badly.
His hand moved from my cheek to my chin, pulling it up so that I would look at him. Our bodies stilled, even though the music continued. His gaze moved to my mouth, as he slowly brought his face closer and pressed his warm, wet lips lightly on mine. Even though it was only a slight touch, it sent a shiver down my spine and a quiver through my stomach. A moment later, our lips parted and began moving in harmony. What was it about his touch that gave me such a euphoric feeling?
I wanted to keep kissing him so badly that a wave of pain washed through my chest at the thought of having to stop. But he had already become too important to me to lose. My eyes squeezed shut, and a whimper escaped my throat as I shoved him off me. My body shook while my chest rose up and down from each heavy, fast breath. It took everything I had to push him away.
Seeing the pain in his eyes after I abruptly shoved him brought tears to mine. I shook my head to tell him no, and his pain was replaced by anger. He took my elbow, pulling me off the dance floor and to a corner of the club where it was somewhat quieter, although the music still pounded in my ears. With a mixture of impatience and confusion, he stared at me for a moment.
The Fine Line Page 11