A Thousand Reasons

by Mariah Dietz

  “I’m glad you came over tonight,” I say.

  Leela smiles. “Me too. I feel like today reminded me that I can’t always be living for the future and what will happen tomorrow or eventually—I have to live for now.”

  “How do you plan on doing that?”

  Leela leans forward in her chair, and her tongue brushes her lips. “By calling in sick every now and again, and letting the laundry get backed up, and…” She leans even closer. “I really want to see where this relationship takes us. One day at a time.” Her gaze remains level with mine as she leans the rest of the distance, and then closes her eyes when her lips press softly against mine. And I realize I’m done for. I’ve known this girl for just two weeks, and already I’m willing to slay dragons for her.

  23

  Wes

  I lie on the couch with my foot propped high with pillows. The pain meds wore off a few hours ago, but I’ve found that as long as I remain lying down with my foot elevated, I can ignore the throbbing sensation by distracting myself with watching TV.

  “How are you feeling?” Ace asks, bringing me some water and crackers.

  “That depends. Do I have to eat the crackers?”

  She laughs, sitting on the chair across from me. “You should be able to take a painkiller now, but they say to eat something with them.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t need anything. I’m not even moving.”

  “I know, but you don’t want to chase the pain, remember?”

  I do. The discharging nurse gave us a thirty-minute spiel on how I need to keep on top of my pills so the pain doesn’t get worse and to help me sleep.

  “I hate painkillers,” I tell her. “I haven’t taken one in years, but I remember having to take them as a kid, and all they did was make me sick and feel like crap.”

  “Maybe you should try one. Just to help you sleep since you had surgery six hours ago.”

  “I’m okay. Trust me. I’m going to finish this show and then I’m going to take a nap.”

  “Do you want anything to eat? I can get you more than crackers, I was just worried your stomach might get upset.”

  “I don’t feel hungry right now. Just a little groggy.”

  Ace nods, moving the sleeve of crackers and glass of water to the table beside me. “Okay. Well, I’m going to grab my homework and I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

  “You know you don’t have to, right? I mean, I appreciate everything you guys are doing, but I don’t want you to have to stick around and wait on me all weekend. You guys have responsibilities outside of watching me. Besides, it’s not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon.”

  “That might be assuring if it wasn’t coming from the same guy who refuses to take painkillers and was asking how long until he could walk up stairs.”

  “And what did the nurse say?” I ask.

  “That you’re crazy.”

  I chuckle and shake my head. “She said that I’m likely going to be on my feet before most patients because I’m strong and healthy.”

  “Oh, stop smiling. She only said that because you flirted with her.”

  “I wasn’t flirting.”

  “Really? So you were just feeling extra smiley and really liked those dinosaur scrubs she was wearing, huh? And you say you have no game.”

  My chuckling turns into a laugh. “Apparently, I still have game when it comes to middle-aged nurses, just not the girl I like.”

  “Speaking of the girl you like, you messaged Leela, right? She seemed a little anxious. I think she would appreciate hearing from you. She seemed a little surprised to hear from me. She mentioned she thought Landon or Max would be calling her.”

  “I didn’t realize you were going to join the crazy crew and take the day off to go to the hospital with me.”

  Ace grins. “Don’t worry, I know you’re glad I was there without you telling me.”

  I’m about to tell her that I didn’t want her there. That having people change their schedules and lives because I had a freak accident isn’t what I want or expect. Then, Leela’s look of admiration and relief when I told her my friends were taking me to the hospital stops me. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. I do appreciate you going, and for getting things for me. And after my nap, I’ll try eating some crackers.”

  “Look at you acting like a reasonable toddler,” Ace teases. “I’ll be right back.”

  “You’re fine. I’m just going to call Leela.”

  Leela’s phone rings three times before she answers, her breath rushed like she’s panting.

  “What are you doing?”

  She releases a deep breath. “I’m at work, so I had to run to the breakroom.” Another heavy breath. “How are you? How are you feeling?”

  “I’m sorry. I should have texted you. I wasn’t even paying attention to the time.”

  “No. No. Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you called. Really.”

  Her simple admission makes my lips curve into a smile. “I’m feeling good. I think this is going to be way easier than I’d feared.”

  “Is that the morphine speaking or you?”

  “It’s really not that bad,” I insist. “Right now I feel more tired than anything, but the doctor said he had no issue with the repair and he expects my recovery to go faster than expected.”

  “That’s great!”

  “You work until ten tonight, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What else are you doing this weekend?”

  “I have three tutoring sessions in the morning up near you. I was actually going to message you and see if you’d be up for a visitor tomorrow?” Her voice rises with question.

  “If that visitor’s you, absolutely. You’re welcome to stop by anytime.”

  Leela’s silent. I can imagine her cheeks staining with embarrassment. “Okay. Well, I should be done around one, so I’ll message you first. I don’t want to wake you up if you’re resting. And if you don’t answer, I’ll probably study at the library for a while.”

  “Just come over whenever you’re done.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes!”

  “Okay, I will. Listen, I’m really glad to hear from you, and I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have to get back out on the floor. I’ll text you later though, and if you’re up maybe we can chat,” Leela says.

  “I’m not decrepit. No pity, remember our deal?”

  Leela chuckles, the sound soft and throaty. “I’m pretty sure that was my stipulation.”

  “Well, it’s going to go both ways.”

  “All right, no pity. I want you to remember this in a few weeks when it’s time to start physical therapy on your foot.”

  “We might need to consider a few amendments…”

  “Too late now, McCleary.”

  “I hope the rest of your shift goes by quickly, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Thanks! Bye, Wes.” She hangs up, the sound of my name ringing in my ears.

  I settle into the couch, pulling a blanket over me, and close my eyes. My exhaustion settles with the soothing sound of Leela’s voice, creating a tranquil setting that has me drifting off to sleep.

  I wake up and the house is dark. The TV is off. And the house is silent. I look at my phone to check the time and discover it’s nearly 5 a.m.

  “Shit,” I groan, scrubbing a hand across my face. I scroll through the many alerts on my phone until I get to the texts Leela sent me last night.

  Leela: Are you still feeling well?

  Leela: I was reading more about the procedure, and it sounds like you’re going to get a new boot that will help stretch your Achilles in a couple of weeks. I’ll offer you an amendment for that day.

  Leela: ☺ I think you fell asleep. I hope you sleep well. I’ll see you tomorrow.

  Though it’s early, I message her back.

  Me: Sorry. I did fall asleep. I guess I was more tired than I’d realized. I’m looking forward to seeing you later.

  24


  Leela

  I dig through my dresser, trying to decide on what to wear. What do Wes and his friends wear when they hang out? Am I supposed to dress up? Can I wear jeans? Are they “my” kind of jeans or are they going to be several hundred dollar-designer jeans?

  “You look like you’ve entered crisis mode. What’s going on?” Luna asks from her bed.

  “Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “That’s all right. I fell asleep really early last night after watching a movie with Mom.”

  I turn around to face Luna, and smile. “I bet she appreciated you hanging out with her.”

  Luna shrugs. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

  “I bet it was to her.”

  “You act like I’m never around.”

  “I know you’re around, it’s just we’re all so busy that we never spend time together. I bet she had a nice time is all I’m saying.”

  Luna swings her legs off her bed, and for a moment I’m expecting her to fire off some sort of sarcastic remark, but instead, she walks over to where I’m holding two different shirts and points to the royal blue blouse I’d brought over from the closet. “Wear this one. It looks really good with your hair.”

  I grin. “Thanks.”

  She doesn’t reply. Luna heads out of our shared room, leaving me alone to get dressed. I make quick work of curling the ends of my hair, and applying some minimal makeup and then pause, hearing Luna laughing.

  I put the rest of my things away, following her laughter out to where she’s seated at the dining room table, Troy across from her. He’s brought a large box of doughnuts that sits in the middle of the table. They aren’t the cheap ones I occasionally splurge for at the discount store. These are name brand and freshly made, and not a dozen of the same type either, but a mixed variety.

  “Morning, Sis,” he says.

  “You’re up early.”

  “Dad said he and Mom both had to work opening shifts today, and I know you always work Saturday mornings,” he says with a shrug, providing zero explanation. As he’d mentioned, I work every Saturday, and he’s never brought doughnuts over in the past.

  Rather than grab a doughnut like my sweet tooth is currently pleading with me to do, I get a bowl and some cereal. Troy watches me, a smirk tying his lips into a familiar expression. “Why aren’t you eating a doughnut?”

  He knows why.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  He shifts in his seat. “I just came by to see how things are going.” My brother stops by the house often enough his presence doesn’t call for an alarm, however, the fact that he’s brought something with him does. Whenever he comes by, Troy’s looking for a free meal, something to drink, money to borrow.

  I stare at him, waiting.

  “Dad mentioned you’ve been paying off some of his old medical bills, and I wanted to discuss them with you.”

  “Discuss what with me?”

  “How much is left?”

  I take a bite of my cereal and chew slowly. “Why?”

  “What do you mean ‘why?’”

  “I mean, why are you trying to involve yourself with this?”

  He leans forward, both elbows on the table. “I’ve found a new…” He glances at Luna.

  Luna scoffs. “Dude, I know you’re a drug dealer. That cat’s been out of the bag for years. But, as long as I’m not involved, I’m perfectly happy eating the doughnuts in ignorant bliss.”

  I glare at Luna.

  “I found a gold mine,” Troy tells me, his light brown eyes bright with excitement.

  “Are we speaking proverbially or literally?” I ask, taking another bite.

  “I’m serious, Leela.”

  “So am I.”

  “Why do you have to be so goddamned difficult about this shit? You stick your nose in the air and think you’re above everyone and everything. I’m offering you help in getting out of debt. Why won’t you take it?”

  “Because it’s not a way out, Troy. You of all people should realize that. What you’re offering is for me to be tied to drugs. Do you understand what would happen if I was associated with dealing drugs? I’d be kicked out of med school. I wouldn’t be able to become a doctor!”

  “This is to help Mom and Dad, not just you. You can’t hack it, Leela. You’ve been working to try and juggle these bills for years, and you still can’t manage to pay all of the utilities in a single month.”

  “Are the lights on?” I ask. “Is there running water? Food in the fridge? Is it cooler in here than outside?” I stand, taking my half-filled bowl with me to the sink. “We’ve been managing just fine without you.”

  “This isn’t you guys versus me. We’re a family, Leela. Whether you like it or not, I’m still blood.”

  “Then act like it and don’t place us all in a jeopardizing position.”

  “Jeopardizing position? Are you for real? I’m offering you money!”

  “That comes from dealing drugs! We’d go to jail. All of us, including Luna. How do you not understand that this is a terrible idea?”

  “You think every idea that isn’t yours is terrible. This started a long time ago and just gets worse the older you get.”

  Luna clears her throat. “How would they trace the money back to drugs?”

  I shake my head, dismissing the consideration as Troy extends an arm to Luna. “See, at least she sees sense!”

  “There are ways. Believe me.”

  “How?” Luna asks.

  I honestly don’t have any idea. It’s possible I’m wrong and they wouldn’t be able to. Feasible that Hollywood has plagued my thoughts of tracing criminals to be a fabricated mirage—I’ve already learned they’ve done the same with medicine. “I don’t know,” I tell her. “But I do know that associating ourselves with drugs isn’t worth even the most minute risk. Do you understand how many people are in the prison system for drugs alone? Nearly half of all people incarcerated are due to drug crimes. It’s serious. Trust me, we don’t want anything to do with it.” I turn my attention to Troy. “You shouldn’t be looking for ways to make a living out of this crap. It’s not worth living in a cell for the rest of your life. You need to get your GED and find a job.”

  “Do you know how many people from my high school graduated and went on to college and still can’t find jobs? How many are now coming to me looking for a job?” Troy’s eyes burn bright with a sense of pride I’ve not seen before. I realize how little I know about what he’s been doing or making—mostly by choice.

  “I have to go to work.”

  “Think of all the extra time you’d have to study and hang out with your friends if you accepted this, Leela.” Troy leans back in his chair and adjusts a gold watch on his wrist. It’s new.

  I take a deep breath, willing myself to remain patient. “You can’t manipulate me into thinking this is a good idea.”

  Troy slams his fist against the table.

  “Watch it, King Kong,” Luna says, unfazed by his show of anger.

  “I’m trying to help,” Troy says. “Why can’t you accept it?”

  “Why can’t you accept that I want nothing to do with your business?”

  “So, you’re really not going to accept the money?”

  “I’m not.”

  Troy stands from the table. “Well, I thought I was doing the right thing by running this by you first, but I guess I’ll just take it to Dad. See what he thinks of not having to have his wife work three jobs plus overtime, and him being able to do work that doesn’t kill his back.”

  “Don’t paint them a picture of rainbows and unicorns, Troy. I know you believe that this is going to improve your life and that you’re helping, but you could easily ruin our lives.” We stare at one another, neither willing to back down. “I have to go. Think about the situation. Think about what would happen if they did find out where the money came from.”

  “No one is going to find out!” He’s exasperated, frustrated because in Troy’s mind every
thing is simple.

  “Luna, you still have to do your homework. If you need anything, Jasmine is home or you can call me.”

  “Or she can call her brother,” Troy says, anger coloring his cheeks. I don’t reply. It seems unnecessary to remind Troy of how badly he’s failed to be there for us in the past.

  My tutoring sessions go slower than normal. Perhaps it’s from Troy’s visit this morning or the anticipation of seeing Wes.

  Once I have everything packed up and am in my Jeep, I take a deep breath and consider if I should be going home right now to ensure Troy isn’t trying to talk my parents into accepting his help rather than going to see Wes. I grab my phone and text Jasmine.

  Me: Are you still home?

  Jasmine: Affirmative.

  Me: Will you do me a favor and see if Troy’s car is still in the driveway, please?

  Jasmine: He’s not. I saw him leave about an hour ago. What was he doing there so early?

  Me: Offering his “financial assistance.”

  Jasmine: Since when does Troy have money?

  Me: One more question I don’t want to know the answer to.

  Jasmine: Are you on your way home?

  Me: I’m not sure. I was going to go visit Wes, but now I’m wondering if I should be focused on Troy.

  Jasmine: No. Go visit Wes. Don’t let Troy ruin more things. Go and be twenty-four, Leela.

  Me: You’re right.

  Jasmine: Of course I’m right. I’m always right.