Searching Hearts Box Set: Books 1-5

by St. Clair, Ellie

  “I am to go to London tomorrow,” Sebastian explained, taking a few steps toward where she stood, surprised by how strong a reaction she had displayed to his news. “It will not be for long.”

  “Why are you going?” she asked, her face pale in the candlelight.

  He shrugged, pretending that it was nothing of note. “It is only business,” he replied, with a forced smile. “You need not be so worried. I shall return within a couple of days.”

  She swallowed, her eyes glistening and his heart beat a bit faster at her reaction. “Oh,” she said, turning away from him. “For a moment I — I thought you meant not to return.”

  “You want me to return?” Sebastian asked softly, unable to stop himself from coming closer to her. She still had her back to him, looking up at the shelves of books, although Sebastian wasn't sure she was actually looking at anything.

  There was a moment of silence.

  “Yes, of course I do,” came her soft reply, as she glanced toward him. “I am sorry, I must appear so foolish. I was just a little taken aback, that's all.”

  “You need not apologize,” Sebastian replied, reaching for her hand and taking it in his. “I will confess that it is rather nice to be wanted, particularly by a beautiful young woman.”

  She smiled then, her eyes brightening. “I enjoy having you near me, I must confess.”

  “You will be just fine without me,” Sebastian murmured, not removing his hand from hers. “Violet and Greville will be good company.”

  She nodded, turning to face him a little more. “I know that. For whatever reason, I find myself …. somehow drawn to you.” She glanced at him, her cheeks a little red. “I know that is very strange but perhaps it is because you have been rather open and honest with me, right from the start. You have never treated me like a child, despite the fact that I have acted like one a fair bit and yet at the same time you have provided me with much-needed guidance. And I feel as though you will keep me from harm, even though there is no threat here.”

  Sebastian did not know what to say, stunned by her words. There was more emotion in what she had said than maybe even she realized, but they spoke to his heart.

  “I know I shall have to learn to trust my own judgment at some point, but I’m not sure I'm ready yet,” she finished, when he did not say anything.

  “You will,” he agreed, letting go of her hand and feeling the loss at once. “With time, you will learn to trust yourself again. Unfortunately, this I know from experience.”

  Interest flickered in her eyes. “Experience?” she repeated.

  Sebastian drew in a long breath, giving her a rueful smile. “Much too long a story to tell you this evening, I’m afraid.”

  Polly regarded him steadily. “Then will you tell me once you return?”

  He nodded. “Of course.”

  She smiled, her eyes twinkling and she came to stand closer to him. “Do you promise, Taylor?”

  A wave of heat rushed through Sebastian and he trailed a hand down the gentle skin of her cheek. She was a beauty, this one; that he could not deny. He felt such a need to drag her into his arms and press his lips to hers. Whether it was her gentle teasing or her disappointment to hear that he was leaving, he could not say – but the urge was almost overpowering.

  “I promise,” he said, hoarsely, lifting her hand and pressing his lips to the back of it, before forcing himself to let her go.

  He wasn't sure if he just imagined the disappoint in her eyes when he stepped away. “I must go now, Polly. Goodbye.”

  He turned to leave the room, when he heard her voice call out his name.

  “Wait!” she said, then rushed toward him. She said nothing, but grasped the lapels of his jacket and pulled him to her. She kissed him, hard and quick, before just as suddenly letting him go and practically sprinting from the room, leaving him staring after her in disbelief.

  17

  It surprised Polly just how much she missed Taylor over the next few days. She did not much speak to Violet, nor did she converse as easily with Greville as she once had. It was all rather strange.

  She did not know why he had gone to London but considered that it was not her place to ask about his business there. However, the promise that he would tell her all about the ‘experience’ he had spoken of kept her mind on nothing but him.

  “Polly?”

  Turning around, Polly saw Violet walking toward her across the gardens, a note in her hand. “Polly, this came for you.”

  Frowning, Polly took it from Violet and glanced down at the handwriting before turning it over to look at the seal. “It is from Mama.”

  “She will be wondering how you are doing,” Violet said, encouragingly, making to walk away. “I don’t think you need to look so worried, my dear sister.”

  “Stay, will you?” Polly asked, looking up at her sister. “I know it is probably quite ridiculous to worry that Mama has heard something, but I should like your company.”

  Violet smiled and came to sit beside Polly, who had taken a seat on a small bench overlooking the ponds.

  “I am sure Mama is just a little worried about you,” Violet said, soothingly, as Polly broke the seal. “After all, it is rather strange that you left London so quickly without providing her much explanation.”

  “Not strange enough for her to come with me,” Polly replied, with a hint of bitterness. “I thought parents were meant to care for their children.”

  Violet put one hand on Polly’s arm. “Polly, you know how Mama is. She does care for you, but she also cares a great deal about her own reputation. She enjoys society and all it offers her, especially during the summer months. Given that you did not tell her the truth about why you left, is it any wonder that she did not accompany you?”

  Polly sighed and dropped her head, aware that her sister was right. “Of course, I know this. But you know Mama. I could not tell her. For one, she had warned me off of Lord Yardley from the start, so I would have proven her right. And then she would have been so ashamed of me.”

  “She might have understood, Polly,” Violet replied, softly. “Our mother loves us fiercely and I do not think she would have forced you into a marriage with a man you despised. She was taken in by him too, don’t forget, as he worked hard at charming you both. And Papa – I dare not think of his wrath if he had known of Lord Yardley’s behavior.”

  A small smile on her face, Polly drew in a long breath and set her shoulders. “Of course. You are quite right. Fortunately I had Lord Taylor to put my trust in, although he also advised me to tell Mama and Papa. He was proven right as well, although he didn’t gloat about it the way our brothers would have, which I was quite grateful for.”

  Violet studied her for a moment. “Do you miss him?”

  Polly looked up at her sister, aware that her cheeks were burning. “It is ridiculous, I know.”

  “On the contrary,” Violet said at once, smiling at her. “I think it is lovely. Lord Taylor is a good man, Polly.”

  “There is nothing between myself and Lord Taylor other than friendship, Violet,” Polly replied, quickly. “Please, don’t start hoping for more.”

  Her sister said nothing but gave a small shrug in return, a knowing smile on her face. Polly shook her head and laughed, aware that her sister was being coy deliberately. The tension gone, she picked up her mother’s letter and began to read it aloud.

  “My dear Polly,” she began, glancing up at Violet who smiled encouragingly. “I have missed you from London. When do you think you might return? Your father and I were hoping for a match for you this Season and you cannot do such a thing unless you are here in town! I do hope nothing has occurred of a grievous nature that keeps you away from here. Your ever-loving mother, etc.…”

  “You see?” Violet exclaimed, a delighted look on her face. “I told you that there was nothing to worry about.”

  Polly frowned, aware that there was more written on the back, more she had not read.

  “Wait a moment,” she
mumbled, turning the letter over. “There is more.” Something began to roll around in her stomach, sending waves of nausea crashing over her.

  “‘My dear Polly, I am hastily adding to my letter because I am rather shocked by what I have heard. My dear friend has told me that there is a rumor only beginning to be whispered about you. The rumor is that you have left London due to some terrible mishap with a gentleman – although I am unsure of who the gentleman might be. I must ask you to write back to me to confirm or deny such a claim. I will have no stain on your reputation!’”

  Polly caught her breath, looking over at Violet, who had a worried expression on her face. Looking back down at the letter, she drew in a breath and read the final paragraph.

  “‘I am caught now by a terrible notion that the gentleman you were so keen to travel with, Lord Taylor, is the man in question. Has he assaulted you in some way, Polly? Have you dragged him to Greville’s home, since he might listen to his close friend? Or do you have some secret liaison you wished to keep from me? I am truly concerned for you, my dear, although I will not speak of it to your father just yet. Write to me at once. I must know all!’”

  Polly stared down at the letter, her hands beginning to tremble as she read the last few lines over and over. Her mother thought that Taylor was the man who had taken liberties with her when, in truth, he had done the exact opposite.

  “How terrible,” Violet whispered, putting her hand on Polly’s shoulder. “You must write to Mama at once, Polly. She cannot be allowed to continue to think so ill of Lord Taylor. That is not fair.”

  “No, it is not,” Polly whispered, one hand pressed against her beating heart. “I do hope Mama has not said anything to anyone else.”

  There a short pause. “I am sure she hasn’t,” Violet replied, with a certainty Polly did not quite feel. “She will want to protect your reputation in any way she can.”

  Polly nodded slowly, her eyes dropping to the grass by her feet. “He will regret coming with me,” she whispered, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. “I begged him to come and, out of the goodness of his heart, he did so, only to now have his name dragged through the mud.”

  “It is not quite as bad as all that,” Violet replied, practically. “Come now, if you write to Mama this very moment then she will have the letter soon and can deny the accusations. I will have Joshua send his fastest rider. There will be no opportunity for Lord Taylor’s name to become entangled with yours.”

  Not quite managing to feel the same hope her sister did, Polly got to her feet and began to walk back toward the house, her heart sinking into her toes. Lord Taylor would want to return to his country estate the moment he heard about this, she was sure. He would not want to involve himself further with her, not when such a rumor could easily be spread. It was best that way, she told herself, trying to put a brave face on it. They were going to have to separate at some point, were they not?

  So why did she feel so much pain at the thought?

  * * *

  Within a few minutes of getting into the house, Polly was seated at her writing desk with a tray of tea and cakes sitting on the table nearby, though her stomach was roiling too much to eat anything. Violet was pouring the tea and humming softly to herself, helping Polly to relax.

  My dear mama, Polly wrote, trying to be concise. Thank you for your letter. As I wrote to you the day after I arrived, I am very much enjoying my time with Violet and Lord Greville. Lord Taylor has always been a gentleman and has treated me with nothing but respect, so you need not worry. He is, in fact, gone to London for a time, so you may see him there.

  As for the rumor, I would beg you to take no notice of it. My absence may have been noted but in saying that I have merely gone to see my sister for a time, you should quash any such whispers. Fondest regards to yourself and Papa.

  Polly deliberately chose not to address the question of when she would return to London, finding even the thought of it rather sickening. She finished the letter with a flourish, sitting back in her chair and reading it over twice before handing it to Violet.

  “Well? Do you think that will satisfy her?”

  Violet shook her head, a look of resignation on her face. “It may satisfy her, Polly, it may not. But tell me, why do you not speak of what has gone on with Lord Yardley?”

  Heat rushed to Polly’s face. “Because she will want to know every little detail, she will want to know exactly what has occurred. It is best that she does not know too much.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because Lord Yardley’s mother is a friend of hers,” Polly explained, sinking into a chair and putting her head in her hands. “I know that if I write to Mama and tell her what Lord Yardley did, then the first thing she will do will be to—”

  “To go to Lady Yardley and speak to her,” Violet finished, a look of understanding on her face. “And as Lady Yardley would never think ill of her son, she would only fuel the flames of the rumors about you. I see. Goodness, that rather does complicate things, does it not?”

  Polly sighed and slumped into her chair. “Yes, it does somewhat. I do not want to return to London, for I am happy here and, thanks to your generosity, I know I am welcome.”

  “She will not be content with that,” Violet warned, a wry smile on her face. “Mama knows what she wants and what she wants is for you to find a husband.”

  “Then I shall find a husband next year,” Polly replied, with a heavy sigh. “I do not wish to marry anyone at this present moment. Or perhaps I will never marry and just spend the rest of my days haunting your hallways.”

  Violet laughed softly. “Oh Polly, you have always been quite the dramatic. You will be able to find yourself plenty of ardent suitors regardless of when you return to society, I am absolutely sure of it.”

  “Thank you, Violet,” Polly replied with a smile, feeling a great deal better than when she had first come indoors. “You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better.”

  Handing Polly her cup of tea, Violet paused for a moment, a contemplative look in her eyes. “The only thing I question is where these rumors have come from and what to do about them.”

  “What do you mean?” Polly asked, the smile sliding from her face. “The rumors Mama has been told about?”

  “Yes, precisely,” Violet mused, her gaze drifting away. “Someone must have started them, for gossip always begins with one person. So, who is trying to drag your reputation down?”

  Polly frowned, sipping her tea and thinking hard. “I cannot say,” she said, slowly. “Not unless Lord Yardley is trying to do so, for whatever reason – but that would be rather foolhardy given what Lord Taylor threatened.”

  Violet shook her head, her eyes darkening just a little. “But since Lord Taylor hasn’t been there then perhaps Lord Yardley has thrown caution to the wind.”

  “But for what purpose?” Polly asked, her heart beating a little more quickly. “He can gain nothing from it.”

  Shrugging, her sister sat back in her chair. “Mayhap it is revenge for having been foiled in his attempts to win the bet,” she suggested quietly. “You said that Lord Taylor hit him rather forcefully. Is there any chance that he might have taken that badly?”

  “He is a man who claimed to always get what he wanted,” Polly agreed, slowly, her heart now clamoring wildly in her chest. “Goodness, Violet, I cannot think that…”

  “Perhaps Lord Taylor will know more when he returns,” Violet said, calmly. “I did not mean to upset you, Polly.”

  Polly shook her head. “It is a question worth asking, Violet, and you are right – Lord Taylor might be the one to give me the answers I need.” She got to her feet and made her way to the window, looking out across the gardens. Her hands clasped in front of her, she felt her heart grow heavy with all that had been discussed, more desperate than ever for Lord Taylor to return.

  18

  “You there! Lord Taylor!”

  Sebastian turned around to see a footman hailing him from a carria
ge standing on the side of the road.

  “Yes?” he asked, frowning as he drew nearer. “What is the meaning of this, shouting at me from across the street?”

  The footman did not look in the least bit apologetic. “The Duke requires you to attend him at once.”

  Sebastian frowned. “The Duke?”

  “Yes, the Duke of Ware,” the footman replied, holding open the door. “At once, my lord.”

  Sebastian’s frown remained, but he did as he was asked, a gnawing anxiety beginning to course through him. The Duke of Ware, Polly’s father, was not a man who could be easily refused. Sebastian had a feeling he knew why the Duke wanted to see him, and he certainly couldn’t turn down the request. He sighed as he sat in the carriage and it moved off at once, leaving him alone inside, his thoughts whirling as to what to say to the man.

  He had been intending to return to Greville’s estate that very afternoon, having made some excellent progress in his investigation of sorts. There had been some willing gentlemen ready to meet with him and he had used his contacts to find out all he could about Lord Yardley. There were still a few more details to sort out but soon, Sebastian was convinced that Yardley would get his comeuppance.

  However, what the Duke wanted with him, Sebastian was not sure. His hands curled in his lap as the carriage continued to roll across the cobbled streets of London, his worry growing with every minute. Had the man heard any fabricated rumor about him and his daughter? Did he wish to warn him away from her?

  Swallowing hard, he got out of the carriage and made his way up the stone steps. The door was already open for him and he was immediately directed up the wide staircase to the Duke’s study. He saw no sign of Polly’s mother.

  The Duke of Ware was a tall man, with broad shoulders. He did not stoop but stood at his full height, towering over Sebastian. Sebastian cleared his throat and tried to smile, bowing deeply.