Pyxis: Book Three of The Stardust Series

by Autumn Reed

“Since I was twelve. At the time, I thought it was odd that my dad was so insistent about teaching me, but as always, I followed his guidance without questioning it. And, I have to admit that it was comforting to know I could protect myself if I absolutely had to, especially since I spent so much time alone in the middle of nowhere. How about you?”

  “My father taught me when I was ten. Mum told him I was too young, but he wanted to take me hunting on our land.”

  “Wow, you’re really doing nothing to quell my visions of you as some kind of lord presiding over a huge estate.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far, but if that’s your fantasy, I can make it a reality.”

  “Oh, Lord Carlyle, take me to your manor and have your way with me,” I said in a breathy, over-the-top accent before bursting into laughter.

  I took my shot and then looked over to find Liam staring at me as if stupefied. I waved my hand in front of his face. “Oh come on, Liam, don’t tell me you actually liked my, and I quote, ‘awful British accent’ for once.”

  He swallowed and finally spoke, his voice lower and with an edge to it. “Don’t say things like that unless you’re serious.”

  “Okay, okay,” I smirked. “I didn’t realize it would have such an effect.”

  “Everything you do affects me,” he responded, his voice softer and less confident than normal. “You’ve put me off all other women.”

  I took a deep breath and released my arrow. How am I supposed to respond to that? Ordinarily, I brushed off Liam’s flirtatious advances as harmless banter, but more and more, I got the feeling he was being earnest and genuine.

  “So no more trust fund non-girlfriend whatevers?” I teased, wondering why he was admitting this to me.

  He sighed and lowered his bow and arrow. “You have a memory like an elephant, don’t you? That was months ago, it was one date, and I was bullied into it by a friend. The date was a set-up by his girlfriend, and I went along with it to keep the peace.” Liam gazed at me, his gray eyes glinting silver in the sunlight. Stepping close, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “And, so you know, I was utterly miserable the entire night.”

  Stunned, I murmured, “Oh.”

  Perhaps realizing he’d just dropped a bomb on me, he moved back and picked up his bow. “First one to hit the bullseye buys lunch.”

  On the drive back to the loft, my mind was churning with Liam’s words, expressions, body language. When had everything become so complicated? I knew only one thing would make me feel better—confessing my boy problems to Jessica.

  Knox wasn't home, but not wanting to chance being overheard again, I threw on a jacket and hopped on one of Theo's bikes to head for the beach. I didn't have long before sunset, so once I found a private spot on the sand, I didn't waste any time dialing Jess's number.

  "Hales!" she squealed loudly, and I instinctively pulled the phone away from my ear. "Finally. Now that you're talking to me again, I assumed I'd hear from you more than once a month. But, no . . ."

  "Okay, drama queen. I've texted plenty of times and left a voicemail for you on Christmas."

  "Yeah, well, Christmas doesn't count. You knew I'd be surrounded by my cousins and their screaming babies. Anyway, enough about that. What's going on with you and your harem of gorgeous men?"

  "Harem?" I snorted. "Hardly. But, there is something I want to tell you."

  "Ooooh. Please be something juicy."

  "Sort of . . ." I said, pausing to draw out the suspense since I knew she would freak out when I shared my news.

  "Well, what is it? I'm dying here!"

  "On Christmas Eve, Chase and I kind of had a moment . . ." Anticipating Jess's reaction, I moved my phone away from my ear again. "And then he kissed me."

  "Omigod!" she yelled. "Oh. My. God. How was it? Was it amazing? Or was it horrible? Tell me it wasn't horrible. You know, you can't judge all kisses by your first kiss. Sometimes they're awkward and wet, but they can get better. Or not. It depends on the guy."

  Jess was talking so fast that I barely had time to process her rambling before she huffed and said, "Haley. Are you even listening to me? How was it?"

  "Sorry, I was waiting for you to take a breath so I could speak," I said flatly.

  "Ha, ha. Now stop stalling."

  "I don't know what to say. It was great. Perfect, really."

  “Okay . . . then why do you sound so depressed?” Jess asked, her tone skeptical.

  I launched into a description of everything that had happened (or not happened) since the kiss and then explained that we’d only been texting because Chase was out of town until sometime in March.

  “And if the situation with Chase wasn’t frustrating enough,” I said with a groan, “there’s also Liam . . . and Ethan.”

  “Whoa, girly. Do not tell me that you’ve been kissed by three hot guys in the last month, because I will seriously be jealous.”

  “No, no more kissing. It’s just that, Ethan took me to a movie last week, and I thought it was a friends thing, but with the way he was acting, it felt more like a date. And, even though I like him—have always liked him—he’s totally a player, which I am not okay with. Then, today, Liam—who I have nicknamed ‘Casanova’—basically admitted that he’s not interested in other girls anymore because of me, and I’m starting to freak out. I mean, neither of them have technically made a move, but I have no idea how I would react if they did. And if all of that wasn’t confusing enough, it’s possible that I also have crush-worthy feelings for Jackson, Theo, and Knox.” I released a deep breath. “So, yeah . . .”

  When I was met with silence on the other end of the phone, I said, “Jess? Are you still there?”

  “Oh, I’m here. I just can’t believe that you said so many words in a row. It’s a first; I’m not kidding.”

  “Well, now is not the time to go quiet on me. Do you have any advice?”

  “I don’t know, Haley. It’s not exactly a normal situation, but try not to stress out. Go with the flow and see what happens. It sucks that you don’t know where you stand with Chase, but you can’t put your life on hold while waiting for him to man up and tell you how he feels. You know my philosophy . . .”

  “. . . You only live once,” I finished for her.

  “Exactly. Especially now that I’m living vicariously through you,” she said with a laugh.

  I shook my head, smiling at Jess’s c’est la vie outlook. Although I felt better after getting all of my frustrations off my chest, I knew I wouldn’t follow her advice. There were too many things she didn’t understand or even know about—the team dynamics, at the top of the list—and I couldn’t be so cavalier with other people’s feelings, anyway. But, I did agree that I should go with the flow . . . for now.

  Better With You

  “I can’t believe you’ve only been gone for six weeks. It feels like so much longer,” I said to Theo’s smiling face currently filling my computer screen. Although we’d been texting a lot and talked on the phone periodically, this was our first time to Skype. I knew I would feel Theo’s absence, but it had hit me even harder than I expected. Seeing him—even if only on the screen—instantly lightened my mood.

  “You’re keeping track, huh? You must really miss me!”

  “Of course I do. It’s quiet around here without you. Knox and I have even been watching TV together.”

  “TV? You and Knox?” He appeared genuinely shocked and shook his head sadly. “Things must be worse than I realized. Please tell me you aren’t sitting around watching gloomy documentaries on global warming or something. Then I’d be worried.”

  “No, but if you have any recommendations for depressing documentaries, I’m sure we could fit one in.”

  “Very funny.” Theo reclined enough for me to make out his vintage Coca-Cola tee. Isn’t that the shirt he loaned me on the first day we met? “So, are you going to be okay by yourself at the loft this weekend?”

  “What? Is Knox abandoning me too?”

  “He didn’t tell
you? Our grandmother died, and he’s going to Bakersfield for the funeral,” he said with an eye roll. What is that about?

  “I’m so sorry. Are you meeting him there?”

  Theo scoffed. “Hades, no. I told Knox not to bother; it’s not like she gave a frack about us when she was alive,” he said, his tone dripping with bitterness. “But, you know how he is. Always the responsible one.”

  “I didn’t realize . . .” I began, unsure how to finish the sentence. The truth was, I didn’t know that they had a grandmother, much less one who Theo would have such negative feelings toward.

  “Don’t worry about it. She’s not worth discussing. Anyway, tell me what’s been going on with you. Hopefully you’ve done more than work, run, and watch TV.”

  Although I wanted to ask more about Theo’s family, I decided not to push the issue, especially over video chat. So, I told him about my class and our upcoming field trip to the observatory. “I think it’ll be fun and interesting, but I don’t know anyone in the class. I hope it’s not too awkward.”

  “Just be yourself,” Theo said encouragingly. “I promise that you fit in better than you think. But, you should stay away from the males. College guys are bad news.”

  I laughed. “Um, Theo, you are a college guy.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows impishly. “Exactly. And, you still haven’t told me anything you’ve done for fun. Been clubbing with Melissa again?”

  “No,” I sighed. “She’s been oddly standoffish ever since the Christmas party. We still go to lunch occasionally, but she hasn’t invited me out with her friends again.” I’d also seen her hanging out with the girls who gave me dirty looks at the party, but I didn’t say that. I knew Theo would jump to my defense, and I didn’t want to make a big deal of it. Although I’d appreciated Melissa’s friendliness when I first started at Zenith, we didn’t have much in common, and I honestly didn’t miss her incessant gossiping.

  “I have been talking to Kara more,” I told Theo. “So maybe we can spend time together outside of work one of these days.”

  “Yes, you should definitely make that happen,” Theo responded. “I like her a thousand times better than Melissa, anyway.”

  After finishing our conversation, I shut the laptop and leaned against my headboard, thinking. Just because Theo brushed off his grandmother’s death like it wasn’t important didn’t mean Knox felt the same. Hopping off the bed, I headed to Knox’s room and knocked on his door. I was going with him whether he liked it or not.

  “Hey, come in,” Knox said as he opened the door. “I was getting ready to come talk to you.”

  Leaning against the door frame, I took a deep breath and confidently asked, “What time are we leaving tomorrow?”

  He crossed his arms. “I guess you spoke to Theo.” I nodded. “Thanks for the offer, but you don’t have to come along. It’s not going to be a fun trip.”

  “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. And maybe it’ll be slightly more enjoyable if you have company?” When he didn’t say anything, I continued, “I’ll make cookies for the road.”

  Knox shook his head, his lips raising in a small grin. “You don’t have to convince me; I’m sure it would be much more enjoyable with you along.” He paused before saying, “If you’re sure, I was planning on leaving around three. Will it be a problem for you to leave work early?”

  “It shouldn’t be.”

  “Okay, good.”

  “Well, I’m gonna go pack,” I said, leaving his room.

  “Haley,” Knox called.

  I looked over my shoulder at him. “Yes?”

  “Peanut butter cookies are my favorite.”

  “Got it,” I told him with a smile.

  * * *

  The drive to Bakersfield was more pleasant than I expected. Knox was in a surprisingly relaxed mood, even giving me control of the music and playing the license plate game with me. We kept the conversation light, and I plied him with questions about cars and kiteboarding to keep myself from bringing up the subject of his family while he was driving. He had finally taken me to watch him kiteboard a couple of times, and I had stared, mesmerized by the colorful kites and Knox’s elegant but powerful movements.

  Sitting across from Knox at dinner that evening, I finally asked him what I’d been dying to all day. “I’m sorry if this is a sore subject, but neither you nor Theo appear very broken up about your grandmother’s death . . . and I was wondering why that is. Did you not know her well?”

  Knox took a few bites before responding. “I wouldn’t say that we knew her well, but we did stay with her for a few years when she still lived in Santa Cruz. She barely tolerated our presence, and as soon as I turned eighteen, we moved out.”

  “I guess that’s why Theo seemed so bitter when he talked about her? Because of the way she treated you both?”

  “That’s only part of it. Theo always held a grudge against her, believing she could have helped us even before then, but she made it clear that she had no interest in us. No child wants to be rejected by his own grandmother.”

  “And you didn’t resent her?”

  “What was the point? I learned early on not to have expectations when it came to the adults in our lives. We were better off on our own.”

  “I’m sorry, Knox. You and Theo didn’t deserve that.”

  He shrugged. “No, but I refuse to dwell on it. As soon as I joined Zenith, everything changed. I had something to work toward, something I could focus on other than all the things that had gone wrong in my life. Jax took me under his wing, and for the first time, I could envision a future that was more than mere survival.”

  After the waitress refilled our drinks and then left, I realized Knox was peering at me almost curiously. “I can see the wheels turning; what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

  I bit my lip, trying to find the right words. “As much time as I have spent around you and the rest of the guys, sometimes I still struggle with understanding your friendship. No, ‘friendship’ isn’t even the right word. Your bond. None of you are particularly open about your pasts, but it’s almost like there’s an invisible tether linking you all together. If I didn’t know better, sometimes I could swear that you read each other’s minds.” I paused and searched Knox’s face, hoping he wouldn’t take offense to my next statement. “Hearing you talk about your family, though, I get it . . . at least from your perspective. Jax, Liam, Chase, Ethan, and even Patrick, became your entire support system when you had no one except for Theo. It’s pretty incredible, actually.”

  “Yeah, it is. I hate to think what would have happened to me and Theo if not for Zenith. It’s never been about a job, not for any of us. We can’t read minds,” he said with a grin, “but, I will admit that we have an unusual connection. Each of us brings different strengths and skills, and definitely different personalities, to the table, and somehow it all just works.”

  “You’re lucky to have each other,” I said softly.

  “Yes, and now we’re lucky to have you.”

  Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, I dropped my head. “Riiight.”

  “I’m serious, Haley,” Knox said, reaching across the table to cover my hand with his. I looked up and found only sincerity in his emerald gaze. “I know you still have doubts about whether you belong, but we want you with us, have no doubt about that.” He leaned even closer. “I don’t know how to explain it; we’re just . . . better with you around.”

  Overwhelmed by Knox’s admission, I pulled my hand away and crossed my arms over my chest before giving him a smirk. “That’s pretty deep for a tattooed, leather-bracelet-wearing, motorcycle-riding bad boy.”

  He quirked a brow. “Not buying into clichés, are you, sweetheart? I’d be happy to prove you wrong . . . about the boy part, at least.”

  Is it me or did it get really hot in here?

  “I have good news,” Knox said, thankfully redirecting the conversation. “The entire team has an assignment in Vegas next month, and we thought yo
u might want to come with us? You could see Jessica.”

  “Seriously? That would be awesome!” I practically squealed.

  “Yes, seriously,” Knox replied with a laugh, then tossed some cash on the table and stood. “Come on. It’s getting late.”

  * * *

  We pulled into the aging cemetery a few minutes before ten. Expecting Knox to immediately hop out of the truck, I was surprised when he continued to sit there quietly and stare over the expanse of headstones. There were only a few other cars parked along the dirt road, and I could make out maybe ten figures standing in the grass ahead of us.

  Hesitant to break the silence, I finally whispered, “Are you okay?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”

  We reached the gravesite as an older gentleman in a black suit began to speak. The morning air was chilly, and I zipped my coat up all the way, thankful that I had worn a scarf and my black riding boots with thick wool socks. Glancing at the other people gathered at the grave, I wondered if any of them were Knox’s relatives. I didn’t see anyone who obviously resembled Knox or Theo, but there was no way to tell for sure.

  Although Knox didn’t seem to have any lingering fondness for his grandmother, I sensed a sadness in him as he watched the coffin being lowered into the ground. Whether he was feeling the loss of a family member or just inundated with memories from his childhood, I didn’t know. But, whatever the reason for his melancholy, I longed to offer comfort somehow. I slipped my hand into his and entwined our fingers. His rough skin was warm against mine, and my heart fluttered when he squeezed my hand reassuringly.

  After the service was over, Knox tugged on my hand and started walking back to the truck. We’d only made it a few steps when a female voice called Knox’s name, and we turned to find a woman in her mid-forties headed our direction.

  “Hi, Knox. I don’t know if you remember me? I’m Sarah, your grandmother’s niece. We met once, a long time ago.”

  “I remember, and thanks for letting me know about the service. It’s nice to see you again.”