Jason Cosmo

by Dan McGirt

  Natalia turned to again confront the half-ogre, who seemed unfazed by the wounds inflicted on him so far. The hand axe was still embedded in his chest and he carried a large chunk of stone in each hand.

  Merc now entered the fray, picking up the dead man’s mace and attacking Yezgar from behind with a strong swing to the kidneys. This distracted the monster enough for Natalia to dance in and sink her sword up to the hilt in his midriff. That got his attention and he slammed one of the stone blocks against her head, shoving her to the floor before she could withdraw her weapon. This time she didn’t recover so quickly and the ogre struck her full in the back with the second block while she was on her hands and knees. She lay prone and motionless before him.

  I was doing a good job of manhandling Zaran, but now realized my mistake in engaging him. Yezgar, having beaten his immediate foe, now turned his attention to me, the fool who had attacked his master.

  “Run, Cosmo!” said Merc. “Get out of here!”

  I pushed Zaran away from me and looked for a way out. The terrorist’s men had regrouped and were pouring in through the door we had entered. Yezgar smiled and gave a throaty growl as he pounced at me.

  I vaulted over the desk and through the narrow door beyond. It led to an equally narrow passage running back to the governor’s private quarters. I briefly hoped Yezgar would balk at the lack of the space, but I was disappointed by the sight and sound of him plunging after me, the stone walls on either side giving way before him like tall grass before an elephant. He bellowed loudly, his volume doubled by the echo. The sound gave me added speed.

  I entered the governor’s bedroom. It was as opulent as one could expect in Darnk, with a large feather bed, gilded furniture, a frayed tapestry, and a worn rug on the floor. A shapely young woman lay sprawled on the bed. Through my teary eyes, I noted deeply tanned skin, honey-blond hair, and gossamer red silk as I rushed by. Such was her beauty that, even with Yezgar at my heels, I was distracted enough that I tripped over a second girl curled on the floor. She was the identical twin of the girl on the bed, but clad in blue. From the looks of it, Governor Birksnore was stocking a harem. That wasn’t the social norm in Darnk, but I had bigger worries at the moment.

  Yezgar burst into the room as I clambered to my feet and tried the heavy wooden bedroom door. It was barred from the other side. Naturally, the governor wouldn’t want his playthings roaming away. Now I was angry. I was going to die because of the governor’s lustful appetites. There was nowhere to run.

  Yezgar grasped me by both shoulders with a single hand and lifted me off the floor, his thick fingers pressing against the side of my neck. He crooked his arm so that our faces were at a level and I could feel his hot, stinking breath, which smelled of regurgitated carrion.

  “Yezgar,” I said. “Perhaps we could discuss this before you do anything rash.”

  He snapped his arm to full extension and let go, propelling me through the bedroom door and across the sitting room beyond. I landed on the floor with a backside full of splinters and a soundly ringing head.

  Before I could note further damage, Yezgar had me again, this time scooping me from the floor and flinging me directly upward. I was lucky. I didn’t hit the stone ceiling. Instead I crashed through the glass of the skylight and sailed a good twenty feet above the top of the keep. I had a broad, tear-gassed view of the rolling gray hills of the surrounding countryside, the jagged rocks and white water rapids of the Longwash at the keep’s base, and a purple dragon with gold wings hovering high above me. I began my descent and the exhilarating sensation in the pit of my stomach was displaced by a tense, hollow feeling of naked terror at the thought of where I would land.

  I came down atop a large, potted cactus on the balcony adjoining the sitting room, crushing the hapless plant and absorbing most of its spines. I was wedged into place, unable to move. Yezgar spotted me and pounced, lifting the pot and slamming it to the tiles.

  In that instant, sitting there amid the sandy soil, crushed plant matter, and broken clay with my eyes burning, my body aching, and a homicidal half-ogre towering over me, unbothered by the axe and sword protruding from his torso, I wished sincerely that Merc and I had ignored Offal and gone on to Brythalia.

  Yezgar stooped to molest me further, but suddenly tottered as a gilded couch from the sitting room hit him in the back, to be followed by several stuffed chairs, a desk, a table, and a rush of gaudy bric-a-brac. I feared he would fall on and crush me, but his height and center of gravity carried him over me and over the edge of the balcony, along with the iron guardrail. I felt the spray as his huge form hit the water with a thunderous splash. Glancing down, I saw him go under, bob up into sight again, then vanish beneath the rushing waters for good.

  Mercury was standing in the middle of the unfurnished sitting room, a satisfied grin on his face. His cape and clothing were now midnight blue.

  “Got him,” he said.

  “Why didn’t you do that in the first place?” I asked.

  “That maneuver would hardly have worked in the office. There’s no balcony high above deadly rapids there.”

  “There’s a balcony high above the hard, unyielding city street.”

  “True, but it’s not the same. Style is important. Are you okay?” He helped me to my feet.

  “Other than the cuts, bruises, and collection of splinters, glass fragments, and cactus spines embedded in my skin, I’m fine.”

  “You were lucky. You should be dead. The benefits of hero status have already preserved you from your own folly.”

  “My folly? You were the one who said take a closer look.”

  “I wouldn’t have had the chance if you hadn’t insisted we investigate in the first place. Next time you’ll listen to me.”

  “What about Zaran and his men? We still—”

  “I threw him off the other balcony since he didn’t rate style,” said Merc with a shrug. “After that, his men fled. Those that still could.”

  “And the warrior woman?”

  “Natalia?” He frowned. “I suggest we be on our way before she recovers.”

  “Recovers! She should be dead!”

  “Look who’s talking. That armor of hers is made of the enchanted metal miraculum. It protects her from most physical harm.”

  “You talk like you know her.”

  “We’ve met. She’s an adventuress who sells her services to the highest bidder. She was probably hired by Prince Ronaldo of Caratha to kill Zaran. He’s committed major atrocities in Caratha.”

  “So why should we worry?”

  “May I suggest ten million crowns is a damn high bid for anyone’s services?”

  “Good point.”

  “I think our horses are still where we left them. Ready to go?”

  “The girls in the bedroom!” I said suddenly.

  “What about them?”

  “I think they’re being held here against their will.”

  “So?”

  “That’s outrageous! We’ve got to take them with us.” I led the way into the bedroom.

  “Why? I know it’s part of the heroic tradition to run around with half-clad women, but you’re new at this. Ease yourself into the role.”

  “Look at them, Merc. So young, so innocent, so lovely.”

  “Young and lovely, yes. I wouldn’t make a wager on innocent. We can’t take them with us. We’re in a hurry.”

  I knelt beside the girl on the floor and lifted her up. She could hardly be twenty, if that old. “Only as far as Brythalia,” I said. “Then they can go their own way.”

  “That would be doing them a favor,” said Merc. “Two unescorted, attractive girls loose in the rough and ready realm of Brythalia. Better to leave them here.”

  “Then we’ll take them all the way to Raelna. That’s a more lawful kingdom, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Can you wake them?” I asked.

  “Probably,” said Merc hesitantly.

  “Do it.”

&
nbsp; “Cosmo—”

  “It’s only right.”

  “Look where that’s gotten you so far.”

  “Just do it, Merc.”

  The wizard knelt beside me and placed his hand over the girl’s face. He mumbled a few unintelligible magic words and her big blue eyes fluttered open.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she murmured. She seemed disoriented.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Sapphrina Corundum.” She knitted her brow in confusion. “Who are you?”

  “My name is Jason Cosmo.”

  Her face contorted in sudden horror and she screamed. Before I could react, she jerked out of my grasp to scramble across the floor until her back was to the wall. “Jason Cosmo! The Gods preserve me!”

  “That’s the way to keep a low profile,” muttered Merc as we stood.

  “Stay back, you fiend!” She cast about desperately for a route of escape, but Merc and I were between her and the exits.

  “Fiend?” I said. “Me?”

  She laughed bitterly. Straightening up and covering herself as much as her immodest dress allowed, she said, with strained conviction, “You won’t ravish me, villain!”

  I turned to Merc. “Just what kind of rumors about me are circulating?”

  “Most people assume you’ve committed pretty horrible crimes to be worth so much. As a rule of thumb, if you can imagine it, someone thinks you’ve done it.”

  “Am I going to have this effect on everyone we meet?”

  “Only if you tell them who you are. Well, she obviously doesn’t want to come with us, so perhaps we should be going.”

  “Wait,” I addressed the bold but frightened girl, who had followed our exchange with interest. “Listen, Sapphrina, I’m not what you think. If you want to get out of here, this is your chance. If I’ve jumped to the wrong conclusion about your situation, we’ll be on our way.” I flashed my most reassuring smile.

  She gave me another appraisal, warmer than the first, and said, with a soft, hopeful voice, “Are you sure you aren’t going to ravish me?”

  “Positive.”

  She relaxed a little more, but remained wary. “You jumped to the right conclusion. My sister and I are prisoners of that pig Birksnore. We’ve been planning to escape, but hadn’t quite worked out the details yet.”

  “You can come with us,” I said, ignoring Merc’s exasperated expression. “This is your chance for freedom.”

  “You came here to rescue us?”

  “Not exactly,” said Merc. “But as long as we’re here, we might as well correct all the injustices in the world.”

  “Ignore him,” I said, shooting Merc a dark glance. “I noticed your plight while fleeing a rampaging ogre.”

  “Could we speed this up?” said Merc.

  “What’s the hurry?”

  “Natalia, remember?”

  Sapphrina rushed to the bed with rustle of silk and shook her sister. “Rubis! Wake up!”

  Merc brushed her aside and repeated his magic formula. Rubis awoke, saw Merc and bolted upright, covering herself. “Sapphrina! Who—?”

  “It’s all right,” said her sister. “This is Jason Cosmo, who—”

  “Jason Cosmo!” Rubis screamed even more loudly than her sister and leaped hysterically from the bed. “Run, Sapphrina! Run!”

  “This is ridiculous,” muttered Merc, rolling his eyes heavenward.

  Sapphrina caught and shook her sister. “Rubis! It’s okay! They’re here to rescue us… I think.” The twins looked at me expectantly.

  I smiled. “That’s right.”

  “Look,” said Rubis, calming down. “He doesn’t have fangs or cloven hooves or anything like they say. And I thought he was older.” She bit her lower lip. “Actually, he’s kind of cute.”

  “I noticed,” said Sapphrina.

  I blushed.

  “But are the rest of the stories true, I wonder?” said Rubis, narrowing her eyes.

  “I hope so,” said Sapphrina.

  I blushed more furiously.

  “Listen,” said Merc. “We’re in a rush so if you’ll get dressed we can find provisions and extra horses and be on our way. Natalia will be up soon.”

  Even as he spoke, the war goddess strode out of the passage to the governor’s office. She had a cruel pout on her face and a long dagger in each hand. “In a hurry, Boltblaster? I didn’t recognize you at first because of the beard. I’ve been hoping I’d find you.”

  Merc raised his hands in a placating gesture. “You’re not still mad about that little misunderstanding in Xornos, are you?”

  Natalia sneered. “Are you referring to the incident when you left me buried under several tons of Ganthian wheat flour in the cargo hold of a sinking ship?”

  “That’s the one,” said Merc. “But you obviously got out alive, so why hold a grudge? It’s unprofessional.”

  “I can live with that,” said Natalia coolly. “Can you?”

  * * *

  6

  Natalia, be reasonable,” said Merc.

  In reply, the adventuress hurled one of the knives with a flick of her wrist. As Mercury snatched the blade out of the air with his right hand, she threw the second dagger. He caught it in his left hand with equal deftness.

  Natalia Slash laughed. “Return them.”

  “What’s the point?” said Merc.

  “Do it.”

  The wizard threw both daggers at once. The woman caught and resheathed them with graceful ease. “You could have let Yezgar finish me, Boltblaster. You didn’t. I appreciate that so I’m going to forget about our last encounter. No ill will.”

  “Fine with me,” said Merc, visibly relieved. I relaxed as well. The twin sisters just looked confused.

  “Do you have my sword?”

  “Yezgar took it with him when he fell into the river.”

  “That blade has been in the family for over two hundred years.”

  “Sorry.”

  “I’ll find it. Where’s Zaran? I didn’t see him among the litter of bodies you left in the office.”

  “You should find his remains in the street below the balcony.”

  Natalia shook her head. “He knows how to take a fall. No matter, he can’t have gone far. He’ll regroup his men somewhere nearby and I’ll sweep them all up at once.” She flexed her armored hands. “Still running from the Society?”

  Merc shrugged. “Yes, but I enjoy the chance to travel.”

  “And who is your new companion?” Her steely gray eyes met mine. Merc shot me a desperate warning glance, but I didn’t need the hint.

  “I’m Burlo Stumproot, madam.”

  Sapphrina and Rubis both started to speak, but quickly caught on. Merc moved to my side and clapped me on the back. “Burlo is my squire, as it were. He handles provisions, hotel accommodations, and the like. The mundane things.”

  “I see,” said Natalia, her eyes still locked with mine, probing and measuring me. I gave her a thin smile. She pursed her lips and nodded slightly before glancing away. “It may interest you to know that Zaran is being financed by the Society these days. They find him useful. I expect to capture him before he contacts his masters, but you may want to leave the area soon anyway.”

  Merc bowed slightly. “I thank you for the warning.”

  “It’s only fair,” said Natalia. “Once I get Zaran, I have an assignment from the Theocrat of Stive—the swamp trolls are marauding in force again. After that I have a contract to fulfill for Isogoras the Xornite. I leave its nature to your imagination. Farewell.” She speared me with her gaze once more before striding from the room.

  “I get the impression she knows who I am,” I said weakly.

  “She does,” said Mercury. “That was obvious.”

  “How could she?”

  “Perhaps all the recent screaming had something to do with it.” He glared at the twins. “She won’t be a problem until she carries out her current contracts but I guarantee she’ll round up Z
aran and the swamp trolls in record time. That only gives us a few weeks to reach Raelna.”

  “If she’s working for Isogoras—”

  “Then it means he’s finally realized the Black Bolts will never bring me in. Hiring Natalia is probably the first intelligent thing he’s done in years.”

  “You don’t have a very high opinion of this Xornite.”

  “And I never have. We were both apprenticed to the master wizard Pencader. Isogoras took an interest in the forbidden art of demonology. When Pencader discovered this and rebuked him, he opened a gate to the Hells in an effort to murder our master. I intervened and Isogoras lost control of the spell, falling through his own gate. No doubt he learned more about demons than he wanted to know.”

  “No doubt.”

  “Unfortunately he survived, though badly scarred, and eventually returned to Earth to join the Society. Now he’s been given the task of recruiting me, which must gall him greatly.”

  “Why?”

  “He’d rather kill me,” Merc laughed. “But it’s Natalia we have to worry about. As I was just saying, I think we can reach Raelna before she comes after us, but to do so we need to travel light and fast.” He nodded toward the girls.

  “They’re coming with us,” I said.

  “Then you take care of them. I’m just responsible for you and me.”

  “Fine. Look, how can Natalia get to Stive and back before we get to Raelna? Isn’t it even further west than—”

  From outside sounded the roar of the purple dragon I had seen earlier, as it wheeled past the keep with Natalia on its back.

  “That’s Golan of the Heights, Natalia’s dragon steed. Do you have any idea how many miles a flying dragon can cover in just one day? Think about it.” Merc left to hunt provisions.

  “What’s his problem?” asked Sapphrina, slipping out of her wispy garment without a trace of embarrassment. I turned my back just in time to prevent my eyes from bulging clear of their sockets. I could feel my ears glowing a hot red. What I had just seen was too much for my Darnkite sensibilities.