by K. Sterling
“Thank you for not ripping his head off. I’ll tell him he owes you,” he said as he shook Ran’s hand and Roman hated Jayce for not being worth his brother’s faith and determination.
“Do that,” Ran said warmly and his eyes sparkled as they studied Quinn before he pulled Roman into a quick hug. “You know I’ve always thought you were beautiful but you look like hell, Roman. Take better care of yourself,” he said gently before he released him and Roman waved it off.
“Stay out of the wrong kind of trouble and call me if you need anything,” he replied as he stepped around the table.
“I should be around for a few more days but don’t hesitate, I’ll come back if you need me. I’m worried you might,” Ran added and Roman shook his head then tapped his brow.
“I’ve got a plan and you know me, if I get stuck, I’ll blow my way out,” he said and Ran chuckled.
“I think it’s about time for this, actually,” he said as he waved at him and Quinn and Roman hissed as he pushed him away from Ran before he could say anything else and get him in more trouble.
“Let’s go around. We don’t want to go inside, it’s going to be disgusting,” he said and Quinn snorted.
“I’ve heard,” he said as Roman led him down a path that went through a darker, quieter section of the garden and wrapped around the house. “He seems nice,” Quinn murmured casually and Roman hummed.
“He’s an excellent man to have at your back in a fight and he breeds the most exquisite horses. I own a few,” he said as they passed through a patch of cooler air and the clouds broke. Quinn looked troubled. “Out with it,” he ordered and Quinn raised a shoulder as he pushed his hands into his pockets.
“Did you two…?” He mumbled as he shoved Roman with his elbow. Roman put his arm around Quinn’s shoulders and buried his face in his sleeve so he wouldn’t see him smile. He was jealous and Roman thought it was perfect.
“We both came to a silent agreement a long time ago that it would probably be a very terrible idea, despite a deep, mutual attraction and tremendous respect for each other,” he explained and Quinn looked at him.
“Why would it be a terrible idea?” He asked and Roman’s lips pulled tight.
“We’d probably kill each other. We’d accidentally snap each other’s necks or spines while we’re naked or do it on purpose because we’re both lunatics,” he said and Quinn waited as Roman opened the gate for him.
“He didn’t seem like a lunatic,” he stated and Roman laughed.
“He’s completely mad but one of the very best men you’ll ever meet,” he promised then smiled as Mr. Bishop waited at the curb. “I think we’ve had a very successful evening, we’ll drop you off at your place,” he said and Quinn stopped and searched his face under the street lamp.
“You’re dropping me off?” He said and Roman sighed as his hands cradled Quinn’s face.
“I had high hopes but tonight was spectacular,” he whispered as he traced Quinn’s cheeks and jaw tenderly. “You were spectacular but we shouldn’t push too far too fast, I think,” he said then lowered his head and kissed him. Quinn melted against him as he hung onto Roman’s lapels and he had second thoughts then mentally shook his head. He would give Quinn time to adjust and keep playing to his curiosity and bravery. It would pay off in the long run. In the mean time, I need to get home as soon as possible and abuse the shit out of myself.
“Thank you, Roman. I was expecting a lot more pressure and I was so ready for any kind of development, I didn’t care if it was good news or bad news. This feels like news that’s only going to get worse every time I look back at it but it was easier hearing it with you. It’s not good news but we know we’re heading in the right direction,” Quinn said and Roman raised his head and squinted as he mentally checked their progress. Everything seemed to be going exactly as he planned.
“We’re definitely heading in the right direction.”
Chapter 9
Quinn
I’m taking the day off.
A floorboard creaked in Jayce’s room and Quinn ignored it as he flipped another page. He wasn’t reading Dune. He’d already read it twice. He was staring at the pages and changing them every few minutes as he laid on the couch.
Quinn woke up and instead of rolling out of bed when his alarm should have gone off, like he usually did on days he didn’t work, he pulled a pillow over his head and hid. It wasn’t like him to hide from a day. His days off were usually his chance to catch up with the rest of his life. So much of his evenings were spent searching for Jayce. His tenants believed he was working a night job and slipped notes under his door when something was broken or worn out. Free Saturdays and Sundays were when he caught up on all the chores and repairs he couldn’t do during the week. There weren’t any chores lately, the building seemed to be blessed so Quinn didn’t have anything to catch up on. He didn’t hide in bed until the need to pee and eat became severe because there were no repairs or errands to run. Quinn hid because he needed a day to catch his breath and let things settle after the storm.
Going back to the house in Belgravia with Roman was more traumatic for Quinn than he expected. Before, he’d been desperate to find Roman so he could learn anything about what happened to Jayce. He thought it would be easier, walking in on Roman’s arm instead of sneaking in through the gardens and pretending he’d caught a ride with the other boys from the less posh areas of London. It was so much worse. He knew so much more now about Jayce and the affluent men his brother and the other party boys preyed upon.
He never thought he’d sympathize with someone like Roman or the man who tried to give Quinn his number but he was learning that boys like Jayce weren’t victims, like he wanted to believe. They were willing accomplices to their own downfall and guilty of extreme acts of manipulation as well. It was a cruel eco system that thrived on shame and shallowness and he realized Roman was the lesser evil in many ways. He never hid who he was and he always played extremely fair. Quinn couldn’t say that about the other men or the boys like Jayce.
Roman wasn’t the monster Quinn built him up to be. He heard stories about how Roman hypnotized his partners with his ruthless sensuality then left them heartbroken and addicted and begging for more. Quinn thought that was part of his cruel nature but it was how Roman defended himself from men like Jayce. He never let them believe they had a chance to catch him, he never let them get their hopes up. He walked away with a clear conscience. Quinn couldn’t say that about Jayce. During the weeks he hunted for Roman, Quinn hoped Jayce had been swept off his feet by the infamous master thief and on some international adventure. It didn’t seem likely but Quinn wanted to believe it would take something that impossibly exciting and dangerous to keep them apart if it wasn’t death or prison. That fantasy dissolved minutes after entering Roman’s tent and his heart was crushed again by his brother. He couldn’t go back in there and relive that night or face everything he’d done to get in there again. It felt like he was back at the beginning and his search was harder and even more dangerous.
And then there was the monster who brought him there. Quinn didn’t care that he was a thief anymore, Roman didn’t hurt anyone when he stole from the extremely wealthy. A painting in New York, a crown from Switzerland, a vase from China… He wasn’t letting men like Jayce overdose and dumping them in the river. And Roman wasn’t using people for money and drugs the way men like Jayce so casually and happily used him. Roman wasn’t kind or gentle with the men who used him, once he was finished using them in return but Quinn couldn’t really blame him and he couldn’t call him a monster anymore.
Roman was still a dangerous, ruthless man but Quinn knew without a doubt he was safe with him. And it wasn’t just because Roman liked him and wanted to restore the balance to his pervert paradise by bringing Darlington to justice. Quinn knew Roman truly cared. He knew when Roman said he brought the cards, the way Roman didn’t push him to go into the tent and the way he didn’t pressure Quinn t
o touch him. He’d playfully place Quinn’s hand on his hard-on to make a point but he never stole more than a kiss from him. Roman had Quinn exactly where he wanted, when they were on that sofa. As much as Quinn hated the idea of being in that tent and using Roman like all the grasping, heartless men before him, he would have done it. Roman could have mesmerized Quinn and swept away his objections but it wouldn’t have been about anything other than getting closer to Jayce. He would have been Jayce if he’d gone in there but Roman protected him instead of taking advantage of him.
Of course, Roman’s way of protecting Quinn was with a hand-job. Unfortunately, that hand-job broke part of Quinn’s brain. He woke up wanting Roman because he dreamt they went into the tent and it was disturbing, how vivid and intense it was. The hand-job on the sofa and the dream were easily the best sexual experiences of Quinn’s life and they were just a hand-job and a dream. Quinn couldn’t handle anonymous sex. It made him feel guilty and cheap. He couldn’t imagine anything more selfish and impersonal. It just wasn’t him but he’d had plenty of good, wild sex. Not like Roman. But he’d expanded his horizons about as far as they could go, safely. The only thing Quinn really hadn’t tried was men but that was just because he was having a really good time with women whenever he could get comfortable enough with them.
He was ready to try with Roman when he woke up. The only thing stopping Quinn from messaging him and asking him to come over was Jayce. Quinn wasn’t worried Jayce would complicate things or pollute their relationship, like he could with Jenna. Jayce did that before him and Roman met. Quinn was still afraid of Roman because he was too much like Jayce.
Roman had an addict’s delicate vivaciousness. He was effervescent and magnetic until the wind blew, then he was abrupt and evasive. Quinn had to watch Roman closely but he’d catch a shiver and he’d see him sweat. His hands talked as much as his lips and his eyes and now and then Quinn would spot a tremble or he’d see Roman clenching his fists. He’d see those little tells just before Roman declared it was time to go home. He’d say he was tired and he’d leave Quinn at his door and disappear until the next day. The closer he got to Roman and the more he cared, the more Quinn saw it and the more it scared him. Roman wasn’t the monster Quinn thought he was, he was the same monster he’d faced with Jayce.
He spent hours pretending to read because it was the only way he could give himself a break from Roman and a chance to sort through his feelings. Sex with Roman was inevitable and Quinn didn’t want to fight anymore. He trusted Roman and he was right, there was no reason he couldn’t enjoy their time together. Their relationship had all the elements he waited for when he was dating a woman. They had an intellectual and emotional attraction and he was comfortable enough to be himself. And they had incredible chemistry, the only things that counteracted that were Roman’s tendency to take the charade too far and Quinn’s suspicion that he was an addict.
Roman was being subtle but Quinn knew he was gently acclimating him to the idea of having a real “understanding”. He understood why that would appeal to Roman. Their relationship offered him more trust and intimacy than Roman was used to and he was probably tired of having the same kind of sex with the same empty person. And he’d already invested a ridiculous amount of money in Quinn. Why not?
Quinn shuddered as he held the book closer to his face. He didn’t think Roman could see him, if he was floating somewhere around the flat, but he didn’t need to see Quinn blush or gag. It was flattering that Roman found him attractive and presentable enough but Quinn hate, hate, hated the idea of letting someone support him. That was as bad as letting drugs control him. Quinn wasn’t going to give up his independence to Roman, no matter how good the sex was or how hard his life got because of Jayce. Whatever was happening between him and Roman felt like something that wouldn’t end when they found Jayce. Even if Quinn was too late, once he did find him.
This doesn’t feel wrong, his brain pointed out. He had Roman’s number. It appeared on his phone after the new clothes in his closet and little messages began popping up. They made Quinn smile or roll his eyes, they didn’t feel like the kind of messages someone sent from a number no one was allowed to have. They felt like messages from a normal man wooing someone. Which was the problem, for Quinn. Roman wasn’t a normal man and Quinn wasn’t sure if he was capable of a real relationship or truly interested in one. Where did the charade end, when was it real? It got a little too real on the sofa, as far as the rest of Quinn’s love life. It didn’t feel wrong until he thought about Jenna. He’d been so careful to keep things coasting in a neutral but flirty place with her because he hoped he could wait until Jayce returned but he’d crossed a line with Roman. The flirting would have to stop and Quinn would be more careful with her.
It felt like more than one of Roman’s one-night stands but Quinn wasn’t stupid enough to believe it was ever going to be real. Roman might care about Quinn the way he cared about Mr. Bishop and want to see him and Jayce reunited but he wasn’t going to get emotionally invested. And Roman wasn’t the kind of man who would settle down and start a family, which was all Quinn wanted. He wanted his brother back and he wanted to settle down and have a family, for the first time in his life. Roman was the last man who could give him that. Even if he wasn’t committed to being the greatest whore in London, he was still an addict and Quinn was tired of having his heart broken by addicts.
Quinn’s phone vibrated and his teeth dug into his lip as he considered ignoring it.
“He’s just going to get more annoying if I ignore him,” he muttered under his breath as he rolled and swiped his phone off the coffee table.
Roman
I’m bored to tears. Get up and get ready. I miss you.
“You can’t miss someone if they never go away,” Quinn said loudly as he swung his feet to the floor and jumped up. His lips curved into a smile and there was a warm flutter in his chest as he stripped and started the shower. He felt lighter and a laugh tickled his throat as he thought about Darius and his teddy bear and tried to imagine either of them as children. It was exactly what Quinn needed and he didn’t have to figure out the rest that evening. He deserved to have a little fun and do something that made him happy for a little while.
Chapter 10
“If you’re there, go away,” Quinn whispered then spun and searched behind him but aside from an elderly woman walking her dog several paces behind him and a pair of teenagers on their phones, everything looked perfectly normal. He shook his head then turned his attention back to the stroller and smiled at a deliveryman as he ran to his truck. It was a quiet morning and the street was mostly clear. He pushed Roman from his thoughts and mentally checked his list for the market and his plans for the afternoon. The hairs on the back of his neck stood and he shrugged his shoulder to stop the tickle he felt under his collar then spun again. Quinn’s eyes tightened as he watched any cars or hedges Roman might be hiding behind but there was no sign of him.
“Everything all right, dear?” The woman asked as she passed Quinn and the stroller. Annabel and Jack were practicing tennis with their parents and he was supposed to meet Jenna and go to the market and the park.
“Fine! Everything’s fine! Thought I heard something odd,” he murmured then turned just as his shoulder was clipped.
“Watch it, there,” Roman said then offered Quinn a quick nod as he strode past him. Quinn clamped his lips shut before he could curse and Roman looked over his shoulder and flashed him a wink then continued down the sidewalk.
“How?” Quinn asked in disbelief then hurried to the crossing and checked the traffic before he jogged across with the stroller. He looked behind him every few minutes to make sure he wasn’t being followed but he couldn’t get rid of the anxious twisting in his stomach or the little itch behind his ears. He was sweating and anxious as he caught up with Jenna in front of her employer’s house.
“Ooh! You look very serious,” she said as she joined him with her stroller and Quinn shook hi
s head.
“No! I just thought I forgot something but I didn’t,” he replied quickly then offered her a bright smile. “You look lovely today,” he said then blushed slightly as he remembered to make his eyes slide down her body. She did look lovely. She was wearing a blue dress in an adorable umbrella and rain boot print with a red cardigan. The waist was fitted but the skirt poofed out. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun and Quinn liked how long and elegant her neck looked. Before Roman, he used to imagine tracing it with his lips and teasing her ear. He used to wonder if she’d giggle and pull away or if she’d bite her lip and purr. She was so sunny and sweet but now and then, she’d lean close and say something just vaguely naughty and stun Quinn.
“Thank you! It’s been so dreary lately but I had a good feeling about today so I wore my rain-rain-go-away dress,” she explained as she fussed with a button on her cardigan. Quinn’s eyes followed her hand and fell right into her gorgeously generous cleavage. She sighed as she tilted toward him invitingly and Quinn ripped his eyes away. He pretended to be distracted then cocked his head to get them moving.
“It’s perfect and you smell amazing,” he said cheerfully. She always smelled like cookies or frosting and her skin was so creamy and glowed. He mentally slapped himself for thinking about her creamy, glowing skin and gave her a playful nudge with his elbow as she pouted. There was a tiny temper in there and Quinn found it really intriguing. She was so, so sweet but there was a hint of something wild hidden beneath her bright, bubbly perfection. It drove Quinn wild. At least, it used to… He was still extremely attracted to her but that teasing whiff of wildness didn’t seem all that wild or wild enough. She was too safe and too easy now. Not easy in a promiscuous way but easy in a won’t-make-you-jump-and-nearly-piss-your-pants and the-most-you’ll-ever-fight-about-is-who-has-to-pick-dinner kind of way.