Ride by Moonlight

by Michelle Bates

“Still, it’s a start, isn’t it?” Sarah said, looking relieved. “Didn’t I tell you you’d get back on a horse, Charlie?” she beamed.

  “Yes,” Charlie said, cringing inwardly at his deceit.

  Tom was silent during this exchange.

  “Well, it’s brilliant news, isn’t it?” she interrupted, ignoring Tom’s stony face. “You can’t expect miracles straight away. Good on you, Charlie. When are you going out again then?” she asked.

  “Er, I’m not sure,” he said, turning away. “Soon.”

  “Well, don’t leave it too long,” Sarah said. “Or you’ll have undone all your good work.”

  “I know,” Charlie said, blushing furiously. “Now, hadn’t we better get the rest of the shopping in?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.

  “Good idea,” Sarah said. “But you really ought to tell Nick soon that you’re back riding again – he’s away on his advanced dressage training course next week, and I wouldn’t want you to be riding all that time without him knowing. Anyway, I’ll leave you to sort that out. If you can just bring in the shopping, that would be great, then I can unpack.”

  Charlie nodded and the two boys trooped out of the cottage.

  “Why on earth didn’t you tell her the truth?” Tom hissed once they were out of earshot. “All that nonsense about walking and trotting. I’ve had enough of all this. I’m not going to keep covering up for you. You’ve got to tell them you’re not really riding yet, or they’re going to expect more and more from you.”

  Charlie didn’t say anything.

  “Look,” Tom started again, more kindly this time. “Just tell them what happened – tell them how dreadful you felt with Napoleon. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I just want to tackle things in my own time, Tom,” Charlie said gruffly. “Surely you of all people can understand that.”

  Tom looked unconvinced. “I know I took things slowly when I first got Chancey, but that was different. I had lots of time then. Remember, we’ve got the Colcott Show next week. If you haven’t sorted anything out by then, you’re going to have to let Nick know you’re not going to be riding Napoleon.”

  “I know, I know,” Charlie said, impatiently. “I’m sure I’ll be back riding in a few days time.”

  Tom shrugged his shoulders and quickly turned away, leaving Charlie alone with his guilt. “Nothing to be ashamed of” – those had been Tom’s words. If only he knew the truth. And while it was easy to sound confident in front of Tom, Charlie didn’t feel it. He didn’t feel it at all. In fact, he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to put everything about the accident behind him.

  5

  THE PRESSURE MOUNTS

  As excitement about the forthcoming Colcott Show ran high in the yard over the next few days, Charlie started to feel a little better. Soon he found himself swept away with it all, in spite of himself. It was always like that before a show – even more so because it was the first major show of the summer. It was hard not to feel some enthusiasm when it was all his friends were talking about – some taking it more seriously than others of course...

  That morning, Charlie stood watching Jess and Rosie in the fields behind the yard. He couldn’t help smiling at their clowning around. Both of them were entered for just about all of the gymkhana events and, fiercely competitive, they were taking everything very seriously.

  “Skylark knocked that pole down. Come on, Jess, admit it,” Rosie squealed.

  “Rubbish,” Jess laughed. “Skylark’s the perfect pony, she wouldn’t make a mistake like that,” Jess giggled. “Charlie... Charlie, can you come here?”

  And before Charlie knew it, he had been summoned over as lines judge for the two girls. Once more they tore up and down the field, swerving in and out of the standing poles, faster than a streak of lightning.

  “You see, I told you Skylark’s the best,” Jess shouted as she crossed the line a second before Rosie.

  “Well, if you look behind you, you’ll see you’ve knocked three poles down again,” Rosie said smugly.

  “Bother.” Jess looked puzzled.

  “Instant disqualification.” A voice came from behind them. Rosie and Jess turned to see Izzy arriving on the back of Midnight. “Only joking,” she said. “Can I join you?”

  “Of course,” Rosie and Jess said in unison, feeling relieved to see their friend in better spirits.

  “Don’t tell me you’re going in for this lark as well, Izzy,” Charlie laughed.

  “Course I am,” Izzy answered. “We won’t stand a chance in the Open Jumping against Tom, and besides, I wouldn’t miss a gymkhana for the world.”

  Charlie smiled. The Colcott Show was renowned for its gymkhana games, and although there was an Open Jumping event there too, it was on the other side of the showground, so you could really only enter one or the other. Most of the Sandy Lane regulars went in for the gymkhana, knowing that there would be other more varied jumping shows later on in the summer.

  Charlie wondered what Tom was doing right now. One thing was for sure, he wouldn’t be fooling around in the days before a show. Tom took his jumping very seriously, and that was understandable, considering he had won the Open Jumping at Colcott for the last three years. He had a lot to live up to. Still, Charlie didn’t doubt he could win again.

  As Charlie wandered down the drive, he could hear the gentle sound of hooves cantering around the outdoor school. He peered through the fir trees, and caught a glimpse of Tom’s powerful chestnut gelding cantering easily around a figure of eight course.

  Springing up onto the railings, he sat quietly watching, waiting for Tom to notice he was there. But Tom was too engrossed in his riding. Once more around the ring he rode, before he saw Charlie and drew to a halt next to him.

  “Hi, how’s it going?” he asked.

  “Oh, not so bad,” Charlie answered. “I’ve just been round the back, watching Jess and Rosie messing around in the fields. They’re fighting out the bending race this year.”

  “I don’t know why they don’t give the Open Jumping a shot,” Tom said. “They’re both pretty good.”

  “The Open Jumping trophy’s got your name on it, Tom, and you know it,” Charlie grinned. “Anyway, I came to find you to talk about something else. I’ve made a decision,” he started, determinedly.

  “Oh yes?” Tom sounded interested, but cautious.

  “I don’t think I’ll enter the Colcott Show after all, but I am going to have another go at riding when Nick’s not around next week.” Charlie’s voice craved reassurance.

  “Next week? Where’s Nick going?” Tom looked puzzled, and then he remembered. “Oh, he’s on that dressage course, isn’t he? I’d completely forgotten – what with the show and everything.” Tom circled Chancey around. “It just seems such a waste to cancel your entry for the Open Jumping when no one else is down to ride Napoleon. You’re really letting Nick and Sarah down, you know. Look, I think you should come clean about a few things. Own up and tell them how rotten you felt when you went to get on Napoleon. At least let them know why you’re not riding.”

  “I don’t know,” Charlie said, gloomily. “It’s just–”

  Chancey tossed his head impatiently.

  “Let me just take him round once more, then we can talk while I’m putting him away,” Tom said, trotting Chancey to stop him getting restless.

  A gentle breeze flurried through the fir trees, bringing welcome relief from the sweltering heat. Charlie watched as Tom and Chancey glided easily around the course. Tom didn’t show a moment’s hesitation as he positioned Chancey at the parallel. The chestnut horse responded willingly to the pressure from Tom’s heels, and rose confidently for the jumps. Then it was on to the triple – one...two...three...clear. Now there was only the wall...jump and touchdown.

  Charlie shivered. If only it could be that easy for him. The rhythmic sound of cantering hooves sounded around the school as he sat, silently watching. To see Tom and Chancey jumping so easily only made it all the
more painful for him. If only he hadn’t been so ambitious, if only he hadn’t set his heart on a racing career, then he too might still be riding without a care in the world, instead of sitting on the sidelines watching.

  Slowly, Tom drew Chancey to a halt beside the big oak tree and jumped to the ground. “Are you sure I can’t tempt you?” he said, offering the reins over.

  As Tom dangled the thing Charlie wanted more than anything in the world in front of him, he felt the frustration of the last two weeks welling up. Suddenly he could contain himself no longer.

  “I can’t. You see there’s more to all this than you think, Tom. The accident – I mean, I didn’t just fall.”

  Tom looked serious now. “Go on,” he said. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

  Charlie hesitated. He hadn’t told anyone the full story of that morning’s events. He had blocked it for so long, hoping that by not mentioning it, it would go away, that time would heal the wound. But it hadn’t, and he felt the ghost of the accident coming back to haunt him again and again.

  “It’s a long story,” he gulped. “I don’t know if I can...”

  “Try,” Tom offered.

  “Well, I was riding out on the gallops when it happened, but you know that anyway. It was no different from any other day. I was on a mare called Night Star. We’d gone through the gate and out onto the tracks...everything was fine. I cantered off in the string, and we moved off in a gallop. The other horses started to overtake us...faster and faster. We were being left behind...very behind. I can see it all so clearly,” he said, his speech speeding up in his anxiety to get everything off his chest.

  “I couldn’t bear it, so I gave Night Star a good kick...just to wake her up, and then a bit of a tap with the crop, and suddenly we were following along nicely. One more nudge, I thought to myself. We were galloping so fast...faster...faster.”

  Charlie’s eyes glazed over as he got carried away with the story. “And then, before I knew it, we had fallen. We were crashing to the ground. I don’t know what happened really,” he said, vaguely. “It’s all such a blur – all I could see was this horse lying sprawled on the ground, and she wasn’t moving. I didn’t know what to do. None of the others had seen me fall. It was only when they came back to find out what had happened that I realized everything. You see the horse was...was dead... I killed her.”

  “What? You mean the horse actually DIED?”

  Charlie nodded.

  Tom was shocked. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, why? How? What did you do to her?” he asked, the questions tumbling out one after the other in his confusion.

  “I didn’t do anything, Tom.” Charlie was angry. “We weren’t going any faster than normal – even if O’Grady said we were.”

  “O’Grady?” Tom looked even more puzzled. “Who’s O’Grady?”

  “The head lad at Elmwood Stables,” Charlie murmured. “He went mad at me...told me that I was a little idiot and that I must have been riding too fast. He said it was all my fault. Night Star was his favourite horse, you see. He was really upset.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Tom said, a worried expression on his face. This was too much for Charlie to bear, and he exploded.

  “Is that all you can say? ‘I’m not surprised.’ I don’t know why I thought you might understand. I should have known you wouldn’t be sympathetic. Can’t you see what I’m going through? I feel bad enough as it is.”

  Tom shifted his weight uneasily from one foot to the other. “Look, I’m sorry Charlie, but I can’t help my reaction. What would you say if I told you Chancey had died when I was riding him? What did Josh Wiley have to say about it?”

  “I couldn’t talk to him,” Charlie said, a little calmer now. “I couldn’t face him. I haven’t been back to the stables since. I couldn’t bear to.”

  “Well,” Tom was hesitant. “I think you should tell Nick and Sarah about this.”

  “No way,” Charlie answered, firmly. “Not me, not you, NO ONE is telling Nick and Sarah.”

  Tom looked a bit taken aback by the force of Charlie’s words, and he answered equally angrily.

  “Look, Charlie, I don’t know how to solve this for you. If you’re not going to go back to Elmwood, and you’re not going to tell Nick and Sarah, then I just don’t know...you’ll have this hanging over your head forever.”

  Charlie turned and walked furiously away up the drive. Briefly he turned back.

  “Don’t you dare tell anyone, Tom,” he called. Tom stared silently back at his friend in worried disbelief. All that Charlie could do was turn away, and hope for the best.

  6

  SOME UNEXPECTED ADVICE

  It was a stiflingly hot day as Charlie stood at the gates to the Elmwood Racing Stables. What on earth had possessed him to tell Tom what had really happened? It had done no good at all. In fact, it seemed like the worst thing he could possibly have done. How long would it be before Nick and Sarah knew...how long would it be before everyone at the yard knew his guilty secret?

  Charlie stood still, silently looking into the Elmwood yard. He’d come here to talk to Josh Wiley, and yet the last thing he felt like doing was going into the stables. It was busy – horse after horse being led out from their boxes. The yard looked really professional, and owners stood around casting a critical eye over their horses. Charlie felt both drawn to the glamour of it all, and at the same time intimidated.

  A clock, perched high above the reception, chimed the time. Nine o’clock. The horses would be going off to the gallops soon. In spite of himself, Charlie felt a thrill of excitement course through him. The jockeys would mount and then they would lead off.

  He felt envious as he watched a boy, no older than himself, swing easily into the saddle of a beautiful grey. It was such a different world to the friendly happy-go-lucky one of Sandy Lane. He couldn’t imagine ever having been a part of it.

  Charlie’s eyes wandered around the stables. And then he saw Josh Wiley stride across the yard, calmly calling out instructions to all of the jockeys. He was busy...very busy. Josh wouldn’t have the time to talk. Charlie felt that he shouldn’t have come and, before he knew it, he had convinced himself out of doing anything about it. He took a deep breath. There really wasn’t enough time to catch Josh now. With a heavy sigh, he turned away and walked back out of the yard.

  As Charlie walked back up the drive to Sandy Lane, he caught sight of Izzy leaning against Midnight’s stable. She cast a lone figure just standing there. It was late afternoon, and most of the riders were in lessons. Charlie called over to attract her attention. He desperately wanted to see a friendly face, but Izzy didn’t seem to want to talk to him.

  As he got nearer, he realized why. She looked as though she’d been crying. Her face was dirty and smudged and she shot him a look that clearly told him she didn’t want him to be there.

  “Are you OK, Izzy?” he asked, ignoring the reproachful look.

  “Do I look OK?” she asked through gritted teeth, fiercely wiping a sleeve across her eyes and pushing her long, brown hair back from her face. “Look, it’s nothing. I’m fine, OK? What’s wrong with you anyway?”

  “Oh, you know, the usual – the accident and all that.” Charlie stared into the distance, his eyes watering.

  And then something in Izzy seemed to snap, because as Charlie turned back to her, she stood glaring at him.

  “I can’t believe I’m still hearing this,” she said angrily. Charlie looked flabbergasted, but she didn’t let him have a moment to stop her.

  “You think you’re the only one who’s got problems, don’t you? Well, why don’t you take a look around you one of these days, huh?”

  “What do you mean?” Charlie said.

  “If you stopped wallowing in self pity, and took an interest in someone else for a change, you’d see that some of us are miserable too. Don’t you realize you’re being a complete pain in the neck? You fell off a horse. Well, so what?” she cried, the anger rising in her throat. “Do you ever
stop to think that something might be wrong with me, for instance?”

  “So, tell me what could be wrong with you?” Charlie said in a sarcastic voice, and Izzy let it all spill out.

  “Oh, only that I’ve just got five weeks left with Midnight, that’s all, and then I go...yes, I got into boarding school, if any of you had cared to ask. I got my place at Whitecote.”

  “But I thought you wanted to go to boarding school, Izzy. It was all you talked about last year.” So this was the reason Izzy had been so odd, and he’d thought it was because of him.

  “I do want to go,” Izzy answered. “It’s a fantastic school, it’s just it seemed so far off when I sat the entrance exam. I just didn’t realize what I’d feel like having to leave Midnight behind,” she said, gloomily. “Anyway, I’ve said enough. Obviously your life is far more important than mine,” she said sarcastically. “I can’t believe how everyone’s pandering to you. It makes me sick. I mean you only fell, it’s not as though the horse died or anything, is it?”

  Charlie visibly paled. He opened his mouth to say something, and closed it again.

  “Oh golly, that’s it, isn’t it?” Izzy’s voice dropped an octave as suddenly everything dawned on her. “The horse died, didn’t it?”

  Charlie didn’t say anything.

  “Oh Charlie, how can I have been so thoughtless?” Izzy went on. “I mean...it’s just...oh no, I didn’t think for a moment. Oh, I’m so sorry, Charlie. I’m such a silly idiot. You must hate me,” she said. “I didn’t mean any of the things I said. It’s just that I felt so frustrated. There I was with what I thought was my terrible problem, and you seemed to be making a mountain out of a molehill.”

  “Well, you’re right,” Charlie started. “The horse did die, and it gets worse, it was all my fault.”

  “But how can it have been your fault–” Izzy looked shocked. “You have to tell me exactly what happened.”

  Charlie sat down on an upturned bucket, and put his head in his hands. “I suppose you might as well know the whole story,” he went on, his hands shaking. “It was out on the training fields. We were galloping...the horse dropped away beneath me...she just dropped down dead. I was riding too fast...”