The Fallen One

by Lexy Wolfe

  "Swordanzen Seeker?!" The Desanti man looked up to see Marcus running towards them, Tobias and Valerian trailing behind him. "Is Su'alin Kiya okay? What happened? We came as quickly as we could."

  Seeker narrowed his eyes. "Why would you come?"

  Tobias shrugged sheepishly, scratching behind his ear. "I, mm, I felt her pain. Valerian scryed the direction you went, and he," he pointed his thumb towards Marcus, "he figured out the quickest way to find you. We were afraid you crossed bandits or worse."

  Marcus crouched near the two, earnest worry on his face. "She doesn't look too good. Maybe Voice Zoe can tell why." He looked at Seeker. "I know a back way into the Magus Academy. Master Nolyn showed it to me. The Edai Tredecima use it when they wish to avoid large crowds since everyone always wants them for something when they are here."

  Seeker pressed his lips together, tightening his arms around Kiya as her sobbing quieted and she went limp against him, barely conscious. "No one will see her?" When Marcus shook his head, he gathered his sister into his arms and stood. Marcus rose as he did, turning and heading off the main path.

  Chapter 55

  Entering his private library at the Magus Academy, Ellis looked over at the table to see Nolyn. He was sprawled over several open tomes, having fallen asleep in the midst of research. "You are going to drive Zoe to distraction, dear boy." The man kept his voice pitched to avoid waking the sleeping man. Taking the throw blanket from the couch, he unfolded it to drape around him.

  "Kiya!" Sitting up unexpectedly and suddenly awake, Nolyn's eyes were wide in panic, the sunlight glittering gold in their depths. Ellis jumped back, startled. Putting the blanket aside, the Se'edai put his hands on Nolyn's shoulders to try to calm him. After a few tense moments, Nolyn's eyes focused on Ellis. Making a sound, he leaned on the table, putting his hand to his head.

  Ellis frowned, eyes narrowed on Nolyn. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

  Nolyn grunted a bit, shaking his head. "Goddess, I just had the most horrible dream."

  "Sit," Ellis ordered. He waved his hand at the door, the security bar falling into its brackets as he walked to the wine cabinet. "Goddess knows we do not need to inspire any more rumor squirrels around this place. The look in your eyes would have even the most obstinate master mage crying the sky was falling."

  Nolyn settled into his chair, tossing a sidelong, sardonic look at Ellis. "It was just a dream, Ellis."

  "If an Unsvet Guardian takes dreams as potentially more than overactive imaginations, I'm not dismissing anything." He returned with two tumblers, sitting the one filled to capacity in front of Nolyn. "Tell me about the dream. Was it about Andar?"

  Taking a long drink of the potent alcohol, Nolyn grimaced, shuddering momentarily in reaction to the physical impact of it. "No, nothing to do with Andar. It was…" He closed his eyes, looking away. "It was about my mother. At least, that's where it started. This time, it didn't end… like it usually did."

  Ellis frowned. "'Usually?' You mean you've had this dream before?" Nolyn lifted and dropped one shoulder noncommittally, eyes fixed on the glass in his hand. "Why didn't you tell me? Or Ash? You know Ash would have understood about having repetitive nightmares."

  "Ash had nightmares about monsters," Nolyn snapped. "Mine was just guilt."

  "About not going home for the funeral for your mother," Ellis stated with a heavy sigh. "I remember trying to talk you into going. One of the few times you outright attacked me." Nolyn winced. "Your family has always been a sensitive subject for you. I deflected the spell and forgave you for the slip in your self-control. I thought matters had been settled after that."

  Nolyn shook his head. "A few weeks after the funeral, I started having dreams of my mother. She would come to me, begging me to forgive her for abandoning me. To understand it was necessary. But I didn't just dismiss her in my dreams. I wouldn't accept anything she had to say." He gritted his teeth briefly, then took another drink. "I always believed my parents hated me, so I hated them. Gods, I hated them. I always thought Ash was the lucky one. His parents could never turn on him."

  "Was that what that fight was about between you and Ash?" Ellis grimaced in remembrance. "It was one of the few times Ash came to me. He wanted to know why Bennu and I forced you to keep the surname of a family that wished he was dead. I explained—"

  "I know," Nolyn interrupted. He exhaled gustily. "I know. But I didn't want to hear it. Ash was furious when I told him he was the lucky one." He rubbed his jaw. "He had a surprisingly good right hook."

  Ellis managed a wan smile. "He said as much about you. He didn't bother healing the bruises, you know. Just told people you and he had had a discussion."

  Nolyn arched an eyebrow. "That bastard. I wondered why people stopped being so difficult." He shook his head. "Until I had returned to Quoesia and had a long talk with my brother I couldn't escape from, I didn't want to accept—" He clenched his empty fist. "This time when I dreamt about my mother, I listened to her. I even forgave her. We cried, we hugged, she vanished at peace with herself." He laughed bitterly. "You would have thought that would have ended things. All happily ever after. Forgive and forget. At peace with my childhood issues."

  "You weren't at peace?"

  Nolyn downed a good amount of the alcohol, setting the glass down hard as he stared at a point across the room with a barely bridled anger. "Something started whispering at me. Telling me how I 'might' be good enough. How I might even be clever enough to learn. It wouldn't tell me for what or what it wanted. I just followed it. I might have glimpsed it once. A tall, slender man… or very flat woman… moved like a snake. Dressed in so many shades of white, it would make one of those fashionista tailors swoon. I'm not sure. But it led me to the Su'alin." His expression reflected fondness and pain at the memory. "She was sleeping. She looked so fragile. So… alone."

  Ellis sipped his drink, watching Nolyn. He observed, "She does seem considerably more aloof than the other Desanti."

  "Not by her choice, Ellis. Her gift sets her apart. Or her curse. Her own people avoid her out of fear." Nolyn looked at the other mage for a moment. "I cannot even begin to imagine how painful solitude is for her, as social as we have witnessed Desanti being. They are a very tactile people."

  "So what happened in your dream?" Ellis prompted when Nolyn fell silent again, lost in thought. "You called out to Kiya as if something happened to her."

  "She woke up suddenly. Her eyes… horror. Terror. I have never seen—" He shook his head. "I tried to reach for her, but she slipped through my grasp. I could feel her slip away. And then she disappeared, like she was yanked through a hole." He looked at his hand, then closed it into a fist. "I could hear her. And that voice… that thing…" He looked at Ellis. "I could hear it even though I was awake. At least, I think I was awake. I did not understand what it said. It was not speaking Forentan or trade common. But I am sure it was mocking me."

  The two men startled at the pounding on the door. They were about to ignore whomever was outside when the locking bar swung up and slammed into its upright position. Marcus opened the door enough to look inside. Their chastising words fell suddenly silent at the look on his face. "Master, come quickly!"

  "Kiya," Nolyn said under his breath, surging to his feet. Before Marcus could say anything, he ran down the hall, disappearing under the archway to the residential hall of the Edai Tredecima.

  "We-we brought the Su'alin to Master Nolyn's private quarters. She-she is… sick or something. I didn't… know what else to do." Marcus looked confusedly at Ellis. "But, I didn't tell Master Nolyn anything. How did he know?" Ellis didn't say anything, just putting a hand on Marcus' shoulder.

  Chapter 56

  Nolyn slid to a stop in front of the door to his suite of rooms in the academy, keeping himself upright by grabbing the door handle. He pulled the door open, slamming it behind him. The Edai Magus did not even acknowledge Tobias or Valerian as he dashed into the sleeping room, falling to his knees beside the bed where Kiya lay. He car
essed her face, his emotions naked on his face.

  "You would never let anything happen to your sister," Nolyn said to the Swordanzen standing in the shadows with his arms crossed. "What happened?" Seeker looked away when Nolyn finally raised his eyes to him. "What did this to her? Tell me. Please."

  "You would not understand," Seeker growled in a low voice.

  Nolyn scowled. "Then help me understand!" He looked at her pale face, caressing her cheeks and hair with tender urgency. "She saved my life. I can do no less for her."

  The Desanti man's jaw muscle flexed with tension for several moments. "Her Su'alin vision… Anibu blinded her."

  Blue eyes dilated in shock. "What?! A Totani blinded her? Why? She could not have done anything wrong to have warranted such cruelty."

  Seeker sighed heavily. "She was blinded to set her free." Turning away, he went to the ornate fountain in the wall, watching the water flow. "The su'alin talent does not usually start to manifest until a child is five summers. Until then, they are seen as any other child. When the gold of spirit vision manifests in their eyes, they immediately begin training. They are usually separated from… normal members of the tribe at that time.

  "It was not like that for Kiya. Her eyes shined gold since the moment of her birth. Mother and Father were both Su'alin, so the task to raise her fell upon them alone, because those of the tribe were too afraid to raise her among the other children. But they argued when she should begin training. How she should be trained. Mother was a gentle soul in the living world, but fierce in the dreamscape. She wanted Kiya to wait until the youngest age most manifest their ability, to know life beyond that of the Path of the Spirit."

  "Your father did not agree," Nolyn stated.

  "Father is Alanis of the Su'alin order as well as chieftain of the na'Citali tribe. He believes it is the duty of the Su'alin to serve Desantiva through the Path of the Spirit, and those without the gift were lesser members of the tribe. He regarded all who did not follow one of the Paths as lesser Desanti. He would arrange pairings with other tribes, as is sacred tradition, to keep the bloodlines strong. But if a child outside of the tribe manifested the gift, he would trade away those of us who were without the gift for those who were. By the time Kiya was born…"

  "Her blood was too close to the rest of the tribe to find a mate," Nolyn finished for him. "And too many fear Su'alin."

  Seeker nodded. "When Father spoke of trading me away, it was the only time I have ever known our mother to defy him. Kiya does not remember because she had just been born. Mother was not as physically strong as Father, but she was passionate. Though he won the physical battle, she won the emotional one and he yielded to her. He allowed me to remain among the na'Citali.

  "My siblings and I were the only friends Kiya had among the tribe. Hells, the only friends she had in the living world." He sighed, hands against the wall as he bowed his head. "Her heart is so big, to be so alone caused so much pain that she would retreat to the dreamscape. I could never join her there, but our siblings could. As our numbers started dwindling, there were only two of us left to be there for her." After a long pause, he said in a low voice, "The accident changed everything."

  "She nearly died?" Nolyn asked.

  "No. But our mother died. Protecting our brother. Father never forgave him. He blamed him for being weak and foolish to being caught by a su'dinnais. His anger and accusations eventually drove him away from the tribe because he was 'imperfect.' Because his spirit vision was flawed, Father condemned him as worthless. Without Mother there to protect Kiya, Father…" He shook his head sharply. "He kept her close. He trained her, pushed her, kept her isolated, because the life of the Su'alin is solitary, he said. Except for me, because Mother wished me to remain by her side. He did not go back on her wishes because he did love her.

  "I wanted to stay with the tribe forever for her. I would have, if she had asked me to." He turned back, a bitter smile on his lips. "But when I was of age to choose my destiny, she could see in my heart what I most wanted. To serve Desantiva as she did. So she told me to go. She knew I wished to step onto the Path of the Sword. She promised me she would be fine, so I would not worry after her."

  "But she wasn't fine." Nolyn looked at her pale face, tracing his thumb along her jaw.

  Seeker shook his head. "No. She was a prisoner in a nation that claims to value freedom. Never in her life was she allowed to choose for herself. Even coming to this accursed land was not her choice. The spirits bid her come, to bring the Githalin home and to find the Star Warrior. She felt deeply honored by their faith in her, but Father would have taken that from her. To 'protect' her, keep her close to him."

  He smiled proudly. "She defied Father's decision to prohibit her from leaving Desantiva, as our mother had defied him. We four Swordanzen were the first true choices she ever had in her life. Not that we were truly choices." He pressed his lips together briefly. "She needed me. I was her only living friend in the world, and Windsong is my season mate. Pacer and Rockspar are another pairing."

  "She did not want any of you lonely."

  Seeker closed his eyes. "You understand her better than anyone else but my brother and I." He met the mage's eyes. "But no matter what, it is less than what she needs."

  "What does she need?" Nolyn asked, his worry clear in his tones.

  "More than what is allowed between siblings," Seeker replied in blunt tones.. "What your people define as physical intimacy is more than just breeding for ours. A blessing, I suppose, that we can see when a woman can conceive or when she has. It allows us to be together without risk of bearing children. Coupling is as close as any two humans can be to being one, as season mates or as th'yala. But we are blood siblings. There are boundaries that are never to be crossed, and that kept us from being closer." He closed his eyes. "I could be nothing more than a sibling, knowing how alone she felt and able to offer her nothing."

  "But that does not explain why Anibu would blind her," Nolyn said after some time.

  Seeker's reply was simple. "To set her free. If she cannot see, she is not bound to the rigid edicts of the Su'alin that Father demands of her. She can choose any path, as our brother Radisen had. Anibu told her as much."

  The mage looked up with a frown. "But all she's ever had is the Path of the Spirit. How can anyone expect her to choose anything different if she doesn't know anything else!"

  Seeker looked away. "Don't you think I know that, treewalker? This is what the Totani wish. I don't… I don't know what to do to help her. She's withdrawn in grief. She is ashamed because she is afraid. But she won't hear me. Everything I know is useless." He turned his gaze back to Nolyn. "You have touched her heart. You held her to life. Please, help my sister, Nolyn Lirai."

  The mage blinked, astounded at the level of trust the other man accorded him. He nodded, looking to the fragile woman, gathering her cold hand and clasping it tightly in both of his. "Kiya." Nolyn pressed the backs of her fingers against his cheek. "Kiya, I know this must be frightening for you. I could not imagine what you are going through. But it is okay to be afraid of things you don't understand. Even Storm il'Thandar was afraid sometimes."

  His words were rewarded after several long minutes. Kiya stirred, her eyes fluttering opening. "Storm il'Thandar…?" Her weak voice was barely audible. Seeker looked over sharply, guarded hope brightening his expression. "Afraid? No… she is…"

  "Still human." He kissed her knuckles lightly. "Everything was strange to Storm. Our words, our customs. Even our weather. Most of the others did not realize how much of her rage was to hide her fear. Not my idiot brother. Not even the Dusvet Guardian." Keeping one hand tightly around hers, he reached up to caress her hair gently as their eyes met. "But I could tell."

  "How?" She swallowed, closing her eyes briefly. "How can you know? You do not… have Su'alin gifts."

  "There are always signs of what is within someone's heart, Su'alin. You do not need your eyes to see what a heart can feel." He helped her sit up in the bed, sitting
beside her. He put a protective arm around her as she leaned against him, holding her. "You are more than your gift, Kiya. You are wise and beautiful and strong."

  "I do not feel strong. Without my sight, I have nothing. I am not a warrior. I have no skills in the waking world." She closed her eyes, but not before a tear escaped. "I am alone."

  "No, Kiya," Nolyn said in a low voice. "You are not alone." He met Seeker's eyes, the other nodding in silent agreement. "So long as your brother and I live, you will never be alone."

  Chapter 57

  Seated outside on one of the log benches, Marcus focused intently on the drawing he worked on. He did not notice the shadow that fell over him. "Apprentice Marcus," Seeker intoned. The boy yelped, jumping and dropping the book and drawing tools. The tall Swordanzen knelt to pick up the book, looking at the image for a long moment before standing and offering it back. "You are very skilled. Not many capture Anibu's essence this well."

  Bright red, Marcus accepted the book back. "Thank you. I was afraid he might be insulted."

  Seeker appeared puzzled. "Why would Anibu be insulted? Totani are quite vain and arrogant. It pleases them when they are on the minds of mortals."

  Marcus chewed on his lip. "Wouldn't Anibu be upset you called him vain and arrogant?" He tucked the ribbon that marked the page back in place, closing the journal and slipping it back in his backpack. "Those are insulting terms here."