The Fallen One

by Lexy Wolfe

  With a hard look, Nolyn growled, "Maybe now that you are not infested with this monster, you can put all of your mistakes to right." Without a backward look, he left the tent.

  Valerian frowned at Nolyn as the man left, then looked to the Trisari. "I am sure he did not mean to be so harsh. It has been a rough time for him."

  Endarian shook his head. "I do not think he is being harsh enough." The Vodani look bewildered, but stayed with the Trisari.

  Chapter 78

  Star roused, her eyes unfocused as she reached out. She blinked several times as she felt her hand taken in a familiar, strong grip. "Nolyn?" she whispered. She looked away from him when she felt the familiar form and weight of her knife.

  "Did you really think," he murmured, "that I would fail to keep my word to you?" He closed her fingers around the sheathed Naming Blade with a small smile. "I will not need that any longer. I have one of my own now."

  Her eyes popped open. "What? How—Aah!" She gasped as pain lanced across her back when she tried to sit up. Nolyn pulled her into his protective embrace.

  "Rest easy, my heart," Nolyn soothed. "Tobias has grown in strength and ability having to push himself to heal those wounded by the Oolak." He smiled into her eyes as he stroked her hair and cheek tenderly. "But he can only expand his strength so fast, and recovery takes time as much as healing does. We don't want him to accidentally kill himself when we have won the battle."

  "But you healed me, didn't you?" she asked in pain-hazed confusion. "I could feel myself losing blood with every heartbeat until you—"

  Nolyn's smile turned rueful. "I did not so much heal you as move your flesh to close over the gashes. Your natural healing ability closed the wounds themselves." He kissed her temple. "I felt terrible how much pain it caused you, but it kept you alive. That is what matters."

  "The Oolak's first host?" she asked, clutching at his tunic front. "You did not kill its host, did you?"

  Nolyn's smile faltered a bit, a flash of irritation in his eyes. "The Trisari lives, yes." Ignoring her questioning look, he asked, "Do you wish to meet him?"

  Star became even more confused by his emotions. "He is still in the physical realm?" She leaned heavily on Nolyn as they got to their feet. "But why? I do not understand. Is he not free of Oolak?" The mage said nothing as they made their way out of the room the group had chosen to take shelter in. The short journey seemed to take an eternity, but they entered a great chamber lit by massive pieces of sunstone in partially shielded wall sconces. A massive, grey and green marble statue of a tree twined with golden vines dominated the far wall.

  The Trisari lay at the statue's roots. He raised his head hearing Star gasp at a sharp pain in her shoulder when she stumbled. He looked away in shame when he met her eyes.

  Star's voice was gentle. "I am glad we were able to free you from Oolak," she stated.

  "You are being too kind to me, warrior child," Endarian stated in bitterness. "Hasn't your Totani told you why you should hate us?"

  Star put a hand on Nolyn's chest, stopping him from responding with hate and anger and stepping away from him under her own strength. With determination, she went to the altar, all but collapsing on the steps by the Trisari. "Citali once told me not even gods are infallible. Do you think you are greater than a god that you should be without failings?" He flinched, looking away more. "Your goddess needs you. No one should be alone. Especially a god. We have freed you from Oolak. Why do you remain here?"

  Endarian's still battered-looking wings trembled, his reply soaked in shame, "I cannot return to the realm of divine servants, child. Such was our punishment for our crimes, and our Lady's punishment for Her mistakes."

  Star considered him for a time, then looked up at the statue of the Forenten goddess. "Then perhaps you will be able to return soon."

  He turned to meet her eyes and smiled sadly. "Thank you for believing in me, little one."

  "Her name is Githalin Su'alin Star il'Citali, Endarian," Nolyn stated, an edge to his voice. "Show her respect for saving your miserable life."

  Star looked at Nolyn, both perplexed and annoyed. "You are the one showing disrespect. He is one of your people's divine servants!"

  "The Trisari abandoned us!" Nolyn glared at Endarian. "They abandoned our great mother!" He crossed his arms, unforgiving. "And he was the one who hurt my brother. Killed his family!"

  Endarian frowned. "I saved Asheran from the Oolak! I knew he would be found where I put him. As I knew you and your apprentice would be found. And you were freed from the Oolak's hold away from here. I could feel it when it lost you." Nolyn scowled and turned his back on him, leaving the room before he said or did something he would regret. Endarian's wings sagged as he looked away, clenching his fists. "I did what I could." He flinched when he felt Star's hand on his arm.

  "When his heart is not so full, he will understand," she reassured in quiet, encouraging tones. "Oolak is an insidious enemy, and you were left to fight it alone. You did well for so long. Unsvet Guardian Valerian says no mortal can withstand them for more than ten years. You had to fight for so much longer."

  The Trisari glared up at her, though his face was wet with tears. "Why are you so kind to me? I am an enemy of your people. Of the Totani. I am…" He looked away. "I failed in my duty to my lady's children. I wanted to protect them, but I brought hurt." Pressing his fists against his temples, he whispered in agonized self-loathing, "I caused them so much pain."

  Star pulled herself to her feet, then hugged the Trisari. "I know you tried to protect them. Even when you attacked me, I could see the truth of your heart. I still can." He shifted, looking up at the slight Desanti woman. "For every wound Oolak struck through you, it was your soul that would bleed.

  "But the deepest wound you bear is that of lonliness. It is a pain I have known. All I can offer you is my friendship, though I know I am nothing in comparison to your own kind or your goddess." She tightened her arms. "No one should be alone. Not even an enemy of my people." Endarian closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Star. He shook with emotion as he sobbed. She hushed him, stroking his hair as she held him. "I will not allow any Oolak to hurt you or anyone else ever again. I promise."

  In the outer chamber, Nolyn scowled as he leaned against the wall near the entrance to the temple chamber, his arms crossed. When Valerian approached, raising a curious eyebrow, Nolyn just looked away. "She is far more forgiving than I am."

  "And to think she is a child of the people with the least reason to forgive anyone from the north," Valerian observed in bland tones. "Be that as it may. It seems the library is intact. Only the exterior shows any fire damage. Edai Magus Eptina suggested we may want to explore the city and make sure there is nothing of power left before we return to Ithesra with Endarian. She expects there to be looters who will scavenge the remains of the dead, and the dead nor any surviving families need any further insult. And I must examine the temporal balance here before the barrier is brought down. It is still not right here."

  Nolyn sighed and nodded. "Yes. You are right." He straightened from the wall, glaring behind him before giving his head a sharp shake and walking away with Valerian beside him.

  Chapter 79

  Marcus, Tobias and Ana stood on the lowest level of the library, gazing up at what resembled an endless spiral that disappeared into a stained glass ceiling. Great spokes joined the outer wall of the tree to the inner core. The spokes narrowed as they climbed the inner shaft. They realized they stood on a spoke that comprised the entire floor they stood upon. "It is like there is a tree inside another tree! I have never heard of any tree like this," Ana whispered in awe. "Not that I know a lot about trees," she added, her blush bright.

  Shaking his head, Marcus said, "There are trees that are native only to certain realms in Forenta. The oldest is the one that becomes the realm's heart. Andar has been abandoned for so long…" He coughed a bit. "It's treated as part of our history lessons and I, um, sometimes do not remember all of my history."

/>   "I usually only worried about the important bits from history," Tobias declared. "Enough so my tutors were happy with me and I could get to the good stuff."

  Ana looked down at her feet. "I wish I could have learned history. Or numbers. Or… anything. I was not important enough to be taught anything but serving food and drinks and mending and… other things." Marcus and Tobias traded guilty looks. She looked up when Tobias took her hand in his.

  "If you want to learn things, we can teach you," Tobias declared. At her dubious expression, he said, "I can teach you Sevmanan things and Marcus could teach you Forentan things. Anything you want!"

  "But… I am just a servant," Ana protested in a small voice. "I am not important enough to—"

  "Miss Kelafy is 'just' a servant, too," Marcus pointed out. "And I bet she knows more things than a lot of journeyman mages. That's why she's such a great headwoman for Master Nolyn. She can think for herself so he can think about other stuff. He trusts her to take care of other things. And since you're Unsvet Valerian's servant, well, that just means you have a lot to learn about… well. Probably everything, since Guardians will go anywhere and everywhere." He waved a hand around. "I bet there are even some journals of some servants here you could read!"

  Tobias frowned when Ana hugged herself and turned away. "What's the matter, Ana? Valerian would never be mad if you read anything, I'm sure."

  "I… I do not know how to read," she said quietly. "A place like this is too good for me. I am too stupid." The three jumped when they heard something fall nearby. Marcus led the way, half-afraid to find out they had somehow broken something with their presence. In the middle of a set of shelves, he found a thick volume lying on the floor, the dust still settling around it. Carefully picking up the old book, he opened it and blinked several times.

  Tobias looked quizzical. "What is it?"

  Solemnly, Marcus turned the book around and held it out to Ana. She started to reach out for it, then pulled her hands back. "I-I can't."

  "You can." Marcus held it out with gravity. "This book wants to tell you something." He waved her over to a reading table. He rested it on its spine and put his hands on the front and back cover. "Put your hands on it like I am doing." When she did so, he said, "Now, just let go and it will open to the page it wants you to see."

  As the pages fell open, Ana blinked in surprise. Not a word was written on the pages. Instead, the page held the most detailed, elegant picture with an almost lifelike appearance. The page displayed the image of a mage having fallen asleep at his desk. Behind him, a woman leaned over, smiling down on his sleeping face with great affection as she draped a blanket around his shoulders.

  "Who is that?" Tobias wondered.

  Marcus shrugged. "I don’t think it matters who they are. My tutor for drawing told me that pictures are meant for when words are inadequate." He smiled a little at Ana's awed expression, remembering how he felt the first time archives had spoken to him. "Does the picture mean something for you, Miss Ana?"

  "I-I always thought that Master Nolyn's home was just… different. He is so kind to servants and all the servants love him so much. And they love the master that is not there right now." She touched the image with a shaking hand. "I had never seen any servant who was happy with their master before. Everyone I ever knew whispered dreams of what they would do if they could just gain their freedom. They felt shame being a mere servant. Or… or they were like me. Resigned to our lives because we believe it is all we are good for."

  "No life deserves to be forced into servitude," Endarian's voice said from the shadows nearby. The three young people jumped, staring in awe at the Trisari, taller than most despite still the hunch of his back because of pain. Marcus and Tobias jumped to help the ailing Trisari walk. "My beloved Avarians learned that lesson without needing our help. A lesson we Trisari were too arrogant to learn. Their servants' loyalty was the envy of all the other highborn houses but their wisdom demanded too much consideration for those beneath them."

  Ana bit her lip, looking at the picture again. "D-do you know who they are?" she asked. "The people in the drawing. Were they real people?"

  He limped to the table, looking down at the picture they had been looking at. An affectionate smile softened his features. "I do. He was Danik Avarian, a master who served as the senior librarian here until his death about eighty years ago. She was his personal servant. Her name was Kelli. This is their daughter's journal."

  "Their daughter's?" Marcus echoed. "But highborn don't marry lowborn!"

  Endarian's expression barely changed, but he appeared amused. "You are assuming things, Apprentice Marcus. Marriage was a social convention to bring order to chaos. In an ideal world, children were only the product of their married parents. Lineage could be traced, and chosen matches for strength could be assured." He sighed and shook his head. "However, no matter how many rules we created to control such things, the heart would choose where it would."

  Tobias crossed his arms. "You make it sound like love is a bad thing."

  "Bad? No. Love is chaotic. It complicates things. It can cloud one's thinking." Endarian sighed, closing the book with gentle reverence. "It can also bring perfect clarity."

  "That makes no sense, Trisari Endarian," Marcus protested. "How can love cloud the mind and clear it, too?"

  Endarian turned a small smile on Marcus. "It is the most beautiful and terrible paradox born of the union of the ancient trinity. It is the one that will answer everything when you discover it, yet it has answered nothing at all. Make your soul bleed, or heal it."

  He held the journal for a time, regarding the cover. "Miss Kelli was Danik's second love. His first was his goddess and Her library here. The woman he had married was… very much like him in her dedication to the goddess. But she was a cold woman. Not a bad one. She was dutiful to her husband, her family and their children, but there was no warmth between them. Social propriety and the requirements of marriage were all the bond they had. Beyond that, they led wholly separate lives."

  Marcus blinked several times. "You mean highborn don't love each other when they marry?"

  Endarian shrugged. "Love might develop over time, but rarely, given family heads arranged the matches. The two joined rarely knew each other, and often if they did, did not like one another. In fact, we Trisari discouraged love among mages. For the precise reason that emotions like love often cloud the mind and disrupt objectivity.

  "The only purpose for marriage was for strength and the future. If we encouraged any love, we reserved it the Knowing One, for duty, for learning, for gaining knowledge. Danik and his wife had their children. Raised their children. Served their goddess. When she died in her middle years of a winter sickness, he mourned her loss. But he did not love her." He touched the cover of the book. "We Trisari had always dismissed mortal love as a weakness, as did our mortal charges. We were right. And wrong." He looked at the three. "Such is the paradox of love."

  "What happened to their daughter?" Ana wondered. "She wasn't accepted as a highborn, was she?"

  Endarian laughed at that. "Sula? No. She had the right to claim it if she wished, though she would have had to fight to earn her place. Even then, the others would have regarded her as lesser among them out of the hierarchal bigotry that had developed over the millenia. No. Being highborn was the last thing Sula wanted. Her mother loved her father with all hear heart, even if most of the time he did not notice or remember she was there because of how focused on his studies and duties he was. And he loved her because she understood and accepted who he was. She supported him in ways he did not know he needed and made him a better mage for it. As he would tell her when they would steal time away in the forests, she completed him." He smiled sadly. "I remember when they went into the forest to Avarian's Heart to share their vows. It was not long after his marriage to his highborn wife."

  Tobias stared. "You mean Danik married two women? Isn't that… I don't know. Illegal? Just… wrong? An affront to the gods, surely. Marriage is
only between one man and one woman."

  "Vows of love, not those of marriage. Marriage is merely a convention to keep order. Avarians were always rebellious. They never shunned matters of the heart, though they rarely sought out love. In the end, his vows of love to Kelli were more enduring than even his love for the Knowing One."

  Curious, Ana asked, "How were they more enduring, Trisari Endarian?"

  The Trisari looked at the book of drawings, turning to one of the very last pages. It showed an elderly Kelli asleep in bed, a much older Danik seated beside her, holding her hand in both of his, also asleep. "It was many decades later, when they were old. Kelli had fallen ill. Under normal circumstances, servants tend to those who fall ill, to allow the highborn to attend to their duties. But Danik refused to leave her side, tending to her needs with his own hand, leaving his work to our mistress behind him. His presence eased her suffering when no medicine could.

  "No one knows who died first. Or when. Or cared. They found him just like this, with her as he had always been in her final days. As if he'd fallen asleep sitting by her side on her bed, holding her hand. Their children and grandchildren said both of them looked like this, happy and at peace." He smirked a little as he closed the book gently. "It was quite the scandal among the highborn, I heard. The rest of the Avarian family adored him for being able to honor the Knowing One and still find love."

  He looked at Ana and said, "As for your question. Sula fell in love with and married a local tree mage. Danik himself arranged it." He opened the book again. "I assume they prospered. They left to return to his family's home elsewhere." He turned to Ana, handing the book back to her. "Hold onto this, child. It wishes you to know what Sula learned. When you have…" He shrugged one shoulder. "Then it will be ready to come home."

  Ana took the book, staring at it with huge eyes. She appeared torn between hugging it tightly and dropping it to flee. "It… it is alive?"