by Lexy Wolfe
The Guardian tightened his comforting hold on her hand. "What do they want?"
He startled when she looked up with tears glittering in her eyes. "They keep talking about the trapped ones. About how they must be freed. I can do nothing, and I have told them this repeatedly, but they will not stop demanding I help them. They have given me no peace since I awoke after fighting Oolak. I have not slept. I am too tired to spiritwalk, else I may stumble across the blade and die, so I pretend to sleep, so the others need not worry. All I want is for them to stop! It is driving me crazy and I don't want to hurt anyone if I-I do go insane."
Valerian frowned. "The trapped ones? Do they tell you where these trapped ones are?"
"They don't know! That is what tortures them, and they torture me with their desperate need for them to be freed. All they tell me is to find Avarian's Heart." She leaned into the Vodani, letting him hold her for a short time. "I do not know what to do, and I hurt so very much, and I am so… tired."
Valerian hushed her, stroking her hair as he held her. "I can talk to Nolyn—"
"No!" She looked up at him, eyes wide. "I do not want to trouble him. He is already upset with me. I am not quite sure why he is upset with me, but I can see that he is. Ever since we had arrived here, it has become worse. I do not need to add to his burden."
The Guardian blinked in surprise. "I doubt he would want to leave you to suffer this alone, Star." He just watched as she turned away, and lay back down. Curling into a ball under her blanket, she put her back to him.
When he began to reach out to touch her consolingly, her soft, painfilled voice stopped him. "I am not hungry. Tell the others I sleep still." He began to protest. "Please."
He sighed and nodded. "Very well. If it is what you wish." He pushed himself to his feet, hesitated as he looked down at her, then turned to head to the library's small dining hall.
Alone, Star covered her ears in an ineffective attempt to silence the voices. "Please, go away. I cannot help you!"
Chapter 83
Proving the efficiency of Forenten servants, they had swept the dining hall clean, found the remaining dining implements, and put them to good use as they served a hearty meal. The Swordanzen sat together at one of the long tables, the other three listening to Seeker speak. Their words could not be understood because he spoke Swordanzen, but by the tone and demeanor, he spoke of what he had encountered while scouting the empty city and beyond. His words troubled and perplexed his three kinsmen, but settled into a grim acceptance, attentive.
Nolyn and Eptina sat apart from the younger members of the party at another of the long tables, both silent with their eyes on their food. If they listened to the other three, neither their demeanors nor expressions reflected it. The Trisari sat at the shadowed other end of their table. He looked both sad and amused as he listened to Marcus, Tobias, and Ana's chatter. Valerian decided to sit by the fallen divine servant, close enough to the young trio to include himself in their conversations politely.
The Vodani Unsvet looked curiously at Ana. "What is that you have there, Miss Ana?" He flinched inwardly at her jump and expression as if awaiting his scolding for doing something wrong. "I am not mad, Ana. I am merely curious."
"It-it is a journal from the library here," Ana said in an uncertain voice. "It fell out of the shelf it was on when we were in the actual library. Trisari Endarian said it wanted me to look at it until I learned what its author learned." She looked at the page. "She was a very good artist." The Sevmanan girl looked at the Trisari and asked hopefully, "Do you have more stories about Master Danik and Miss Kelli?"
He shook his head with regret. "Unfortunately, I do not. Except for the one I told you in the library itself, most of what I know of those who dwelled here I have learned from reading their journals. Many of the more… personal ones do not appear to have been placed in the library." He picked up his mug of water, watching it as he swirled the liquid. "On this plane of existence, my ability to navigate the river of time is as limited as any mortal's."
Valerian looked curious. "Surely you can scry the elements at least?"
Endarian frowned at Valerian in annoyance. "I shall correct myself. Limited as any normal mortal's. Guardians are no more normal than any mortal servant bearing a divine mark. It is part of my penance for my transgressions. I have the memory of an immortal, but my power is… hobbled. Where the divine edicts do not restrict me, how far I can reach is more limited."
The diners fell silent for a time. Ana turned to the first page she had seen in the book. "I think the story you knew is wonderful, Trisari Endarian," she replied. "Especially the way you described Avarian's Heart where they exchanged their vows of love."
Everyone looked over in alarm when Valerian started choking on his food. Tobias jumped up, went to him, and quickly set the Vodani to rights. "Are you all right, Valerian?" Tobias asked in alarmed worry. "What happened?"
The Vodani grabbed his mug and drank to clear his throat before looking at Endarian. "Avarian's Heart is a place?"
Endarian nodded, looking suspicious. "It is. I have seen it only once, but I have read about it many times in the archives. It hides itself as though it were sentient, and chooses who it allows to find it. I am not sure… why it chooses those it allows or at least, why some find it and others do not. But it has been a very closely guarded secret of the Avarian family. How do you know of it?"
"Star. Spirits here have tormented her since she woke, beseeching her to find Avarian's Heart, to free the 'trapped ones.'" Valerian pushed himself to his feet, many of the others doing the same. "They have been driving her to distraction so much she has not slept at all the past many days and has no desire to eat." He fixed a hard look on Nolyn. "She has been reluctant to speak to anyone about it, especially you, because she feels she would only add to your burdens, Edai Magus Nolyn."
Nolyn grimaced and grumbled, "Not again." He strode into the room the group used to sleep in just in time to catch a glimpse of Star as she fled to the library's exit, the mournful wail of the winds outside drifting in. He grabbed her abandoned cloak and returned briefly to the dining hall. "Star's run outside and there is a storm coming. I will find her and get to shelter until it passes. The rest of you, stay here," he ordered before he ran out to try to catch her.
Chapter 84
The sky grew dark with heavy storm clouds, a mournful wind growing to a howling one. Ignoring the biting snow, both fallen and falling, Nolyn pressed on with determination. "Bennu," he begged. "Where is she?" Unable to hear himself over the wind, he trusted the feelings he got and changed his direction. He was rewarded after several long minutes of fighting to move forward. He found her half buried in the snow, the dark woman's cries of frustration audible above the winds.
She struggled against him when he touched her, relenting when he wrapped her in her forgotten cloak. He gathered her into his arms and headed to the nearest dark form of a great tree, taking shelter from the weather in the natural hollow at its base. Collapsing with his back against the wall most protected from the baleful weather, he held Star tightly. He pressed kisses against her hair, his heart aching with the sounds of her tearless sobs.
"Forgive me, Kiya," he repeated in litany. "Please forgive me." He feared her gut-wrenching sobs were doing her physical harm. He continued speaking fervently. "I did not mean to push you away." He tightened his arms around her. "I fixated so much on my own problems, I never imagined—"
"Stop!" she screamed. "Please stop! I can't help you! I can't. I wish I could, but you make no sense. I do not know what you are talking about!" Her sobbing renewed its strength. Nolyn struggled to capture her hands before she pulled her hair out. Focusing, he murmured a spell intended to block the voices of the spirits that hounded her. The tension vanished as Star collapsed unconscious against him, trembling violently. With a flick of his wrist and a few tired words, he created a partial barrier to block most of the winds and snow. Once done, he turned his attention back to the slight woman in his arms.<
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"Oh, my heart," Nolyn murmured. He tucked her head against his shoulder, cradling her. "Bennu, what happened here? What do these spirits want? Why is she being so tortured?"
The answer was a long time in coming. When it came, Bennu spoke with gravity. When Ellis and I arrived with others of the Avarian family, fire was already sweeping through the trees. We tried to find… anyone. Alive or dead. We only found Ash and he was near death.
"I remember." Nolyn replied with remembered anguish, eyes shut. "I remember when you brought him home."
There was nothing we could do against the fire. We knew it was unnatural, but there was no time to examine it to try to contain or quell it. We grabbed him and ran, but the fire followed us, like a living monster determined not to allow even a single entity to escape. Ellis and I… We chained and cast the barrier spell out of instinct. What we created not only stopped the spread of the fire, it seemed to extinguish it. But we dared not drop the barrier to return to Andar.
"Was anyone left alive besides that damned Trisari?"
Nolyn, do not be angry with Endarian. The effort to fight the creature that had attached itself to him nearly tore him apart, body and soul. He did try to protect us, but he was losing his battle. Nolyn ground his teeth, finally making a sound of agreement. Bennu seemed to smile with sympathy in his mind. No one remained alive within Andar. Of that I am certain. The Oolak trapped many on the cusp of death, feeding on them as it fed on Endarian. Others died free of that monster's grip by Endarian's own hand, but they refused to abandon those still trapped.
"Star said with the Oolak destroyed, all those it imprisoned were set free. If they are no longer trapped, then why are they here? Why are they hounding Star?" Nolyn frowned at the uncertainty he sensed. "What is it?"
It is confusing. The longer a soul remains separated from the physical realm, the less coherence they have when trying to communicate as they cling to the physical world instead of giving into the rebirth cycle. Bennu was silent for a time, though Nolyn could sense he was trying to speak with the others spirits. He closed his eyes, straining to feel the others. Fluttering on the edge of his awareness, he felt them and their anxiety. They insist there are others still trapped within a spell. But neither the spell Ellis and I cast nor the one that the darkling used to hold those others to feed upon.
"What spell? Who cast it?" Nolyn asked. Bennu did not reply. "Bennu! Who cast the spell?"
Avarian. They insist it was Avarian.
Nolyn felt himself go pale. "The founder of the Avarian family line? But that is not possible!" He caressed Star's cold cheek. "It can't be possible. Avarian's been dead thousands of years." Bennu remained silent, having no answers to give him.
Chapter 85
Slight streamed through one of the few clear glass windows that illuminated the spiraling stairs of the library's upper section. Seeker stood staring at the swirling snow outside drumming his fingers along his arm. Valerian and Eptina approached him, the woman startling when he turned a dark scowl on her. "I hate your land's weather," he snarled. "It does not even rage properly. It is just being difficult."
Valerian grinned. "What? You would rather have it scouring your skin off like the ragewinds of Desantiva?"
Seeker waved a dimssive hand at Valerian. "Bah. You are difficult, too, Unsvet Guardian."
Eptina could not help but smile. "We are not fond of the weather when it is like this, either," the woman replied as she tugged her cloak around her slender form more tightly. "I am certain that Master Nolyn has found your sister and gotten them both to shelter. Have faith in him."
Seeker turned his dark look back to the swirling snow. "I do not know how your kind can know any peace of mind when you share no bayuli-volsha with your kinsmen at all. You can never know with any certainty whether anyone is still alive, if they are dead, if they are in need of aid… nothing. You simply… hope for the best."
"Sometimes, faith that things will turn out well is all we have," Eptina stated in a quiet voice, her eyes gazing out the window. "If we didn't hold onto hope, fear and despair would tear us apart." She did not notice Seeker's eyes move to her for a time.
Normally much more composed, Valerian grumbled in agitation as well. "My ability to scry in this area is even more hampered than back in Ithesra. On occasion, I might glimpse something, but I cannot tell if it is the future, the present, or the past. I am not even certain what it is I am seeing at all." He heaved a heavy sigh as he looked at Seeker. "I am sorry I cannot reassure you that your sister is safe and alive with any certainty."
"They are both safe," Endarian stated in a low voice from behind them. He leaned heavily on Marcus and Tobias, the sheen of pain gleaming from his eyes as he walked up the stairs. Teeth gritted for a moment, he said, "The trees whisper… they whisper that they had found shelter." The two young men grunted when the much taller Trisari's injured knee collapsed under him. Valerian jumped to take Marcus's place and more of the burden of keeping Endarian on his feet.
Seeker narrowed his eyes on Endarian with keen suspicion. "Why do you care, Trisari? Would you not be willing to sacrifice one of your own to get rid of one of us 'savage' warriors?"
Eptina straightened, affronted. "How dare you speak to a divine servant with such disrespect!"
"No, young one," Endarian stated as he sat on a bench, biting back his pain as his still splinted wings bumped the ground. "The Totani's chosen has every right to be suspicious of me. Many of my brothers and sisters… there has never been much trust between the Totani and Trisari since we came to be. Neither of us has tried to bridge the gap between us." He leaned forward to prop himself up with his elbows on his knees, shoulders slumped. "Change has ever been the providence of mortals, not us. We have always learned new perspectives from you." He glanced up at Seeker, then back to the design in the floor. "Your sister… she has been the first to offer me forgiveness for my… shame. I cannot speak on how much that means to me."
Marcus whispered, "'Seven walk the land of men…' You are one of seven Trisari stranded in the physical realm?" His query was more of a statement than a question. Endarian turned his face away, the depth of his shame apparent. "Where are the others? The goddess will be so happy to know you are free—"
"No!" He looked towards the window. "No, the Knowing One cannot know of us. It will cause Her only heartache if She learns I am here and cannot go to Her. I do not know where the others are. There were many who had no remorse for the actions that damned us all. The ancient trinity condemned them to eternal imprisonment. More than what had been done to our kin, the Roylat. When they judged us for our crimes, they gave us a choice. To be imprisoned with them or be stranded in the physical world, bereft of the bond to our goddess, to each other, even to the world itself." He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "For more than two thousand years, I have watched countless generations of the magefolk be born, grow, and die. I remember each one without the boon of dwelling on the edge of the river of time where such pain and loss is muted. In the divine realm that hovers between, we know a mortal by their immortal soul. It is rare a soul is lost completely. Here, I can recognize them sometimes, but so many have come and gone."
"I know only a taste of that pain," Valerian stated in a low voice. "I cannot imagine shouldering that for so long."
Endarian sat up, regarding the three adults. "I would not give a moment of it up. I deserve to suffer that and more for my part in our fall."
"What did you do to incur such wrath that you believe you are deserving of more?" Eptina asked.
"I am guilty of many things, as we all were, but the worst sin of all… I had imprisoned one of the Totani," Endarian confessed. He cringed at Seeker's outrage, Eptina's gasp of shock. The others could only stare at him in disbelief.
"Why?" Seeker seethed, fists clenched. "Why would you imprison one of the warrior's divine servants? The Totani were your equals! Kin!"
The Trisari sighed. "They were once our kin, but we turned away from familial bonds
. We stopped seeing our similarities and saw only our differences. And we justified our actions because of them. You see, to us, the Totani… they had always been so chaotic… they each had chosen a beast form to accompany their human one. They never remain in one or the other for long. Most prefer the beast to the human because it allows them to cross into the physical world more easily. We Trisari… most of us barely saw humans as more than beasts themselves. Humans… So naïve, so ignorant, so weak, so… mortal. No matter how much we taught them, how much we pushed or guided them, they could not grow as fast as we felt they should."
Valerian studied Endarian. "They were growing only as fast as the mortal warriors. Not faster."
Endarian closed his eyes and nodded. "You are correct, Unsvet Guardian. I was not unlike my brothers and sisters in my disdain for the Totani and their warriors. Many Trisari also held disdain for mortals, even those we were responsible for, because they thought them weak. Not all of us did, though. I did not look down so much on those we were responsible to guide and protect. I… cared about them. All of my actions were for the sole purpose of pushing the mages further in their natural abilities. Power and knowledge came before everything else. We dictated only the strongest should breed with the strongest." He met Eptina's eyes briefly, then looked away. "But I… and six others of us. We… did what we had because we loved our mortal charges. Our children. We wanted the best for them."
Eptina turned deathly pale as she listened, barely noticing Seeker's hand on her shoulder offering her comfort. "Oh, goddess… You had… you bread us for strength. No better than how we breed horses or-or dogs?" Endarian nodded. "And you enslaved one of the warriors' Totani?! For what possible reason? You thought they were animals!"