Utterly Wicked: Curses, Hexes & Other Unsavory Notions

by Dorothy Morrison

  FOOD ENCHANTMENT INCANTATION

  The magic that’s within this dish

  Is meant for (name of target), as is my wish.

  On others who may hear its call

  It shall not have any effect at all.

  Pure delight is all they’ll feel

  As they fill their plates and eat this meal.

  But (name of target), it will hit magically

  As I will, so mote it be.

  MAGICAL TIDBITS

  The following comprises a few ideas as to what foods and seasonings may be incorporated into meals to accomplish your goals. As you expand upon this list—and you will—just one note of caution: Some herbs are poisonous! With that in mind, please check a reliable herbal before incorporating any substance with which you’re unfamiliar.

  Basil: Season foods with this herb to loosen a partner’s hold on the money and force him or her to spend some on you.

  Bread braid: As it’s pulled apart and consumed, bread baked in this form can be used to separate lovers and break up relationships.

  Cayenne pepper: Commonly known as the “hot foot powder of the culinary world,” this little gem works wonders when it comes to getting your way. Be sure to apply it liberally.

  Cinnamon: Fold and mix this into recipes to induce and secure love. (Pies, rolls, cakes, cookies, and wine are good options.) Sprinkle it on top of beverages to obtain money.

  Clove: Long known for its powers of seduction, add ground or powdered clove to hot beverages and desserts to induce lust. (Once you’ve got the target in the position desired, add it to massage oil to really liven things up!)

  Ginger: Add this to foods to increase sexual endurance and stamina.

  Kava-Kava root: This peppery-tasting substance induces a natural state of euphoria and relaxes the judgment centers, making them open to suggestion. The key, though, is that it must be fresh or freshly dried. And since it’s most effective when added to a butter or milk base, it’s the perfect addition to egg nog, cream sauces, or gravies.

  Mint: Incorporate to cool anger and force your target to chill out—even if you’re the one at fault.

  Nuts: Want to plant the seeds of your desires in the target’s head and make them think it was their idea? Just add any type of nut to the food you’re serving. Nuts may also be used to plant seeds of doubt.

  Potato: If a target is standing in the way of what you want, carve his or her initials in a potato, then cut it into small pieces before cooking and serving. (It’s also useful to add a dollar sign to the carving if your target is being stingy with money.)

  Saltpeter: A pinch of this added to any food will definitely keep any lover from straying. It’s important to note, however, that while your lover won’t stray, he or she won’t be able to perform with you either.

  Sesame seeds: Because these are sacred to both Ganesha and Hecate, they are excellent additions when used to remove obstacles and get what you want.

  THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

  While most curses are designed to do their jobs and dissipate, upon occasion we have need of one that goes a little further. Sometimes, we need it to work indefinitely. And when those times arise, a little bit of aggravation simply isn’t going to do the trick. We need something that, like the Energizer Bunny, keeps on going. And it’s on those occasions that it’s best to give a gift—a gift like no other—a gift that has a curse built right in.

  Of course, not just any gift will do. It’s going to have to be something that the subject of your intent is going to be delighted with and will love beyond all reason. Otherwise, it will just get tossed aside or thrown away, and all your efforts will be for naught.

  Admittedly, this may be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done—especially since it requires you to purchase something absolutely lovely for your least favorite person in the world. However, there are reasons that you may actually want to go this route. And it’s those reasons that will keep you smiling all the way to the check out line.

  What sort of reasons? Well, for one thing, your target is going to feel guilty as hell for having done you dirty if you turn up with a nice gift—and that, in itself, is part of the curse. Every time he or she looks at that gift or uses it, a vision of you and how you were treated will be the first thing to surface in the mind’s eye. And that’s exactly why it’s important that the person not be able to part with the gift.

  Another reason for handling things in this fashion is that while you can certainly weave any curse you’d like into the object, your personal energy is not attached to it in the same way it would be if you crafted the gift yourself. And this not only disassociates you somewhat from the target but helps to keep some of that negative residue at bay.

  If that’s not enough to convince you, there’s this: Your target will never suspect that you are in any way responsible for the sudden turn that his or her life has taken. You did, after all, knock yourself out to obtain that wonderful gift. And anyone who goes to all that trouble couldn’t be anything but kind, compassionate, loving, and gracious. Right?

  Taking this avenue is easy once you get past having to purchase the gift. There are, however, a few rules of thumb. Do yourself a favor, follow them carefully, and those worrisome afterthoughts won’t come to call.

  Do not involve living creatures. I shouldn’t have to spell this out, but I will just to ease my own mind. This means absolutely no plants or animals.

  Only purchase gifts suitable for adults. This means no stuffed animals, no dolls, or any other toy that might inadvertently fall into the hands of a child or a pet.

  In the case of music boxes, be mindful of the tune. While the music may be uplifting, it should not, in any way, empower the target. A box that plays When You Wish Upon a Star, for example, is a magical no-no.

  MIND GAMES

  Some of you already know that my ex-husband was having an affair with our next door neighbor. And those of you who have attended my Swifting of Energy seminar know exactly when that knowledge came to light in such a way that I could no longer deny it. What most of you don’t know, however, is that I’d delivered a curse upon the two of them long before I was completely enlightened: A curse that also included those who were actively involved in helping them perpetuate the affair and hide the truth, and caused everyone concerned a great amount of difficulty.

  Oh, it was the curse to end all curses, all right. And the end results were much stronger than I’d ever dreamed. In fact, the word “difficulty” doesn’t even begin to describe them. One man lost his wife, his family, his business, and his home. The ex-husband lost his nerve, his job, and all capacity for reasonable decision-making. And the girlfriend? Well...after attempting to commit suicide several times, she wound up getting exactly what she thought she wanted: My ex. But he wasn’t at all the prize she’d imagined. Unfortunately for her, he turned out to be a liar, a cheat, and a thief. Even worse, he refused to have her in his life unless she gave up the most precious gift she’d ever had: her only child. And since she actually did that rather than turn her back and walk away, I guess it could be said that she lost her mind as well.

  So, what did I do to affect all that mess? Well...I can assure you that it wasn’t as involved as you might think. Nor did I intend for it to work as it did. It just goes to prove that the power of the mind—all alone and without any magical accoutrements whatsoever—is much more potent than we could possibly imagine.

  It all started innocently enough, or so it appeared. The husband and his best friend were going hunting for the weekend, and during hunting season, that was a normal course of events in our household. So, I did what I normally did. I cleaned the camper, stocked it with groceries, made sure the bedding was clean, and packed his clothes and gear for the weekend. I kissed him goodbye as he left and went on about my business.

  All went well until a few hours later when I realized that my neighbor hadn’t come home from work. And then, I remembered something. She’d packed her car to the brim with luggage and all sor
ts of other stuff before she’d left that morning. And suddenly, it hit me: The woman next door was on that hunting trip too, and I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was my then-husband she’d gone to meet.

  Well...I didn’t just see red. I saw the most brilliant shade of scarlet known to the color wheel. And then I got downright pissed. I romped and stomped, screamed and yelled. I paced through the house until I’d worn serious tracks in the carpet and repeatedly called his mobile phone to no avail until the numbers on my telephone keypad were completely illegible. Then I worked myself into one hell of a tizzy. And when I was done with that, I threw the biggest hissy fit ever known to humankind. By the time I was finished, that “hell hath no fury” line that’s so often associated with angry women didn’t even begin to describe my state of mind. I was out for blood. And I intended to have, at the very least, a figurative bucket full.

  Yes, I’d decided to go out to the hunting site and irrevocably reinvent their personal realities. But as I stomped my way to the door, something changed my mind. You see, even though the day had been calm and clear, the sky had suddenly turned dark. The winds began to blow. And as it twirled through the leaves, I relaxed. As it picked up force, I smiled. And when at last, it began to howl that incessant howl that scares the hell out of small children and sends wildlife scurrying for cover, I did what any other Witch in my position would do: I laughed right out loud.

  Truth be told, I’ve always been somewhat of a weather mage. But my real talent—if you could call it that—has always been in transferring the force of my displeasure into storm creation. And since I’d already managed to brew one up, there was certainly no point in letting it going to waste. So, I talked to the winds. I talked to the clouds. I talked to the sky and the rain and the lightning. And when I was sure all were well on their way to the hunting site, I talked some more. Only this time, it was to Kali—one of my Patronesses—best known for Her role in absolute destruction.

  Now usually, I’m not an advocate of leaving anything up to the Universe, the Deities, or anything else. So why I did it that night is still unclear to me. But after listing my grievances, I told Her that I wanted the ultimate revenge and that I wanted their world rocked and set on end. But most of all, I wanted them to be forced to eat their just desserts. Not just once, mind you. But over and over and over again until they literally gagged at the thought of having to take one more bite. And I finished up by saying that I didn’t give a damn how She made it happen as long as it happened posthaste, and the results were very miserable and extremely long lasting.

  Well, I got what I asked for, all right. And an early morning phone call delivered the news. My then-husband and his buddy, David, had cut their outing short—a severe storm had seen to that—and were on their way back to town. Furthermore, they wanted to take me to breakfast.

  Of course, I was dying to find out what had happened, but to mention it might have meant giving myself away. So, we were half-way through our meal when David finally demanded to know just exactly where I’d been the night before.

  “At home,” I said, meeting his gaze directly. “Where else would I have been?”

  He stared at me from across the table, his face a picture of disbelief.

  “I don’t know,” he finally answered. “But some really weird stuff happened last night. And the only time I’ve ever seen that much crap happen in one place at one time was when you were...well...when you were...”

  I cocked an eyebrow and smiled at him sweetly, innocently, and as if I had no clue in the world as to what he might be referring. “When I was what, David?”

  “Well...when you were...involved!”

  Apparently, the night had been a complete disaster. The storm had rocked the camper unmercifully; so much so, in fact, that nobody had been able to sleep a wink. But that wasn’t the worst of it. The area had begun to flood, so even though the rain was coming down in sheets, they’d not only had to move camp to higher ground right in the middle of that mess, but they’d had to do it without benefit of light, since their flashlights were all on the blink. No sooner had they gotten set up again than lightning hit a dead tree less than thirty yards from the camper. And if that hadn’t been bad enough, the four-wheeler—which had been battened down securely on the trailer—had come to life and taken on a mind of its own. Yes, it had loosened its bonds and rolled off the trailer, made a left, and kept on going until finally, it ended its midnight journey by climbing up the camper steps and landing with a thud against the front door.

  I forced myself to look shocked, but it was all I could do not to jump for joy. For at that point, I realized that Kali had, indeed, begun to serve Her version of just desserts. What better way, after all, to dole out misery than to trap three claustrophobic people in a small pop-up camper with no way to get out and armed only with the knowledge that they’d have to stay in that situation until daybreak?

  Of course, I had no idea what form the remainder of their just desserts would take. Nor did I realize just how much retribution there would be. I only knew that the curse was alive, well, and on track. And all that I had to do from that moment on, was sit back, relax, and watch the rest of it manifest.

  THE KEY INGREDIENT

  The fact of the matter is that there is nothing on the face of this Earth—not an oil, a powder, a wash, or even the best planned ritual—that can manufacture or deliver a curse as well as simple mind power. And as there’s no physical evidence to point in your direction, there’s no better way to hide your tracks either. It’s the best possible way to immerse a curse, bar none.

  So, why don’t more people go this route? The reasons are many, but the most common is that they just don’t believe it will work. They think they’ve got to have the trappings of ritual items to do the job properly. And since successful magic is nine-tenths belief that the intended results will manifest, they’re probably right. They’re much better off sticking to what they know and handling things within their comfort zones.

  Another reason is that they lack focus. How do I know? Because the number of emails I get from folks who can’t even manage a simple spell from Everyday Magic tells the tale. In order for any sort of magic to work, the mind cannot be allowed to wander. It must be totally focused on the task at hand. And sadly enough, most folks simply don’t have that sort of attention span.

  With enough practice, however, focus can be learned. And once it is, lots of things begin to happen in the personal realm. Self-confidence returns, and with that, the perception of what is possible changes drastically. It becomes much easier to believe that your magical efforts—even those engineered without benefit of ritual props—will not only work but will work to their full capacity.

  The mundane side-effects are fabulous too. For once you learn to focus and extend your attention span, you’ll discover that most of those normal, day-to-day problems—the ones that drive you crazy on a regular basis—simply cease to exist. And it’s all because you’ve learned to pay attention and follow things through.

  So, how exactly do you learn to focus? It’s not as difficult as you might think. In fact, the following exercises put me on the right track years ago, and I’m willing to bet that they’ll help you too. Just remember to practice often, practice long, and practice hard. If you don’t, it’s a sure bet that none of the spells in this book are going to work for you as planned. And that would, indeed, be a shame!

  THE EXERCISES

  Focus Exercise #1

  For this exercise, you may either write on paper or use the word-processing program on your computer. (If the latter is your choice, set the program to double-space, and set all the margins—top and bottom, right and left—to one inch.) Now letting your mind wander, write or type your thoughts just as quickly as you can think them. It doesn’t matter if it looks like psycho-babble. It doesn’t matter if your thoughts don’t resemble complete sentences. Just get them down as quickly as you can, and don’t stop until you’ve filled three pages.

  Focus Exerci
se #2

  As in the first exercise, you’ll either use paper and pen or your computer. Place an object in front of you—anything will do, be it an apple, an ashtray, a piece of jewelry, a knick-knack, or some other item—and examine it carefully. Now keeping that object in the forefront of your mind, begin to write about it. Start with its color, its shape, its texture, and its lines. Proceed with any specific odor it may exude, then talk about why you have it, what you use it for, how you feel about it, and why you haven’t gotten rid of it. Keep going until you’ve written three pages.

  CHAPTER 5

  DISPERSING THE CURSE

  While there are definitely times that magic can be delivered successfully without the use of anything but a thought, a look, a gesture, or maybe a few well-flung words, there are also times when we know that’s just not going to cut it. It’s those times that we reach for the pen and paper and get busy writing a ritual or spell that we’re sure will get the job done. Most of us start with the incantation since it’s the part that seems to take the longest. We engage in games of wordplay, switch this for that, and rotate verse and sentence structures to improve the clarity of meaning and intent. We work at it until we’re sure that even someone with only two brain cells to rub together would understand our meaning and that there’s no chance of error or mistaking what we want.

  Then, quite pleased with ourselves since the hard part is done, we sit back and start to think about what else we’ll need for this ritual. We check our personal reference libraries, make a list of our choices, and set off to obtain the ritual supplies that will tie the whole thing together. That, of course, is when a peculiar look crosses most of our faces. Why? Because we soon come to realize three very important things.