Her Secret Valentine

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  She rested her hand on her upturned chin and regarded him inscrutably. “I thought it might be a good combination.”

  Cal leaned toward her as she fed him a fry dipped in chili and sharp cheddar. The combination was delicious—spicy and rich.

  “You like it, don’t you?” she teased.

  I like you. “Actually, I do,” Cal said with surprise.

  Her blue eyes gleamed with pleasure and pride. “Tell me about the surgery,” Ashley said.

  He filled her in while they finished eating. “Sounds like it was a challenging case,” Ashley noted when he had finished.

  Cal nodded. It had been.

  “So, shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Ashley continued in a soft, wifely tone.

  Yeah, Cal thought as he stacked their dishes and cleared the table, he should be catching twenty winks right about now. But it was hard falling asleep and staying asleep when she was under the same roof in another bed. It would be so much easier if he at least had her to snuggle with under the covers. He always slept better with Ashley wrapped in his arms. And maybe so did she.

  He took her hand and brought her gently to her feet. “You should be in bed, too.”

  Drawn slightly off balance, she bumped into him, then steadied herself by putting one hand against his chest. “I wasn’t in surgery most of the night.” She turned away from him and began putting the leftover chili away.

  Funny, how his energy came surging back whenever he was around her. “I’m a doctor. I’m used to getting by on little sleep. And so are you.” He pitched in to help her finish the dishes.

  “True.” Ashley wiped down the table, countertops and stove.

  “But that still doesn’t explain what you’re doing up in the middle of the night,” Cal continued.

  Ashley hesitated, as if trying to think of a reasonable explanation for her insomnia. “Must be the time difference,” Ashley speculated finally, looking pleased she had come up with something that sounded logical, when Cal’s intuition was telling him her excuse didn’t ring true. Something specific was keeping her from sleeping. She just didn’t want to share it with him, he realized, stung.

  “After all, Hawaii-time it’s only 11:00 p.m. right now,” Ashley continued matter-of-factly.

  She had a point there, Cal had to concede.

  “But you’re still on Eastern Standard Time and, as you pointed out earlier this evening, you have to work tomorrow. So you really should go back to bed right now,” Ashley said.

  He regarded her, reluctant to comply, even when he knew she was right. He could use more rest.

  She batted her eyelashes at him flirtatiously. “Come on, doc.” She crooked a finger his way. “I’ll tuck you in.”

  He grinned and began to relax as she clasped his hand lightly in hers. “Oh you will, will you?” he bantered back. As they moved up the stairs and paused in the doorway of the master bedroom, Cal murmured hopefully. “I don’t suppose I can convince you to join me.”

  Something akin to the deep and abiding love she used to have for him—and he hoped still did—flickered in her pretty blue eyes. “Something tells me neither of us would get much sleep if I were to do that.”

  “Yeah,” Cal agreed, aware all over again as she led him toward the big empty bed how much he liked spending time with her. “But think of the fun we’d have.” Think of how much closer we’d feel. Think about the possibility of me getting you to lower your guard once and for all.

  But, he noted sadly, it wasn’t going to happen now. Tonight, she was still holding onto her secrets and private doubts, whatever they were. “How about a rain check?” she countered, easing him down into the sheets.

  Cal tightened his grip on her fingers and looked deep into her eyes. The fear that he had somehow unknowingly contributed to the distance between them filled him with guilt. “I’m going to hold you to that,” he warned her soberly, letting her know once and for all he intended to make her his again.

  She leaned forward and brushed a light kiss to his temple that was as tender as it was playful. “Somehow, Cal, I knew you would.”

  DURING LUNCHTIME on Monday at the Wedding Inn, Cal caught sight of his mother and sister-in-law. “Just the two women I wanted to see,” he said cheerfully. “Have you got time to have a top-secret meeting with me?”

  Helen glanced at her watch. The owner of the premier wedding establishment in North Carolina, she was usually on the run from the time she showed up for work in the morning until the time she left. Joe’s wife, Emma, was just as busy in her wedding-planning duties.

  Looking as stylish and pulled-together as ever in a pastel-pink business suit, Helen ran a hand through her short red hair. “I’ve got fifteen minutes,” Helen said.

  “I can spare you ten,” the petite and elegantly pretty Emma said.

  The three of them went back to Helen’s office. Helen closed the door, insuring their privacy. She slipped behind her desk, her eyes focusing on Cal with maternal concern. “What brings you over here in the middle of a work day?” she asked, perplexed.

  “I want to know if you’re booked for Valentine’s Day.”

  Emma and Helen chuckled as if that was the funniest thing they had ever heard and shook their heads. “Honey, we’re booked three years ahead for Valentine’s Day,” Helen said.

  “How can people book three years ahead?” Cal asked. When he and Ashley had decided to get married, they had only waited six months. He couldn’t imagine waiting three years—for anything!

  Helen smiled. “Some people just know.”

  “And are willing to wait for the exact time they want,” Emma added.

  Cal was willing to wait for the exact woman. He wasn’t giving up no matter how long it took to make his marriage to Ashley work the way it should to give them the happily-ever-after they had both always wanted. Which was, of course, why he was here. He had come up with an idea to help speed the process, now that the groundwork had been laid. Especially since he only had three-and-a-half more weeks to convince Ashley they needed a lot more face time with each other than they’d been having.

  “I want to have a wedding here on Valentine’s Day,” Cal told both women.

  Two sets of eyebrows raised. “Mind me asking whose?” Emma interjected, with her usual tranquility.

  Cal sat down in one of the chairs in front of his mother’s desk and stretched his long legs out in front of him. “Ashley’s and mine. I want to renew our vows on our wedding anniversary—February fourteenth.”

  Emma smiled and sat on the edge of Helen’s desk, facing both Cal and Helen. “That’s very romantic,” Emma said approvingly.

  Helen’s eyes narrowed as if to say not so fast. “What does Ashley think about this?” she asked curiously.

  Leave it to his mother to hit the nail on the head, without even trying. “She doesn’t know,” Cal stated, pretending not to see his mother’s obvious reservations about his plan. “I’m going to surprise her.”

  Helen splayed a hand over her heart. She looked as if she might faint. “You can’t surprise a woman with a wedding!” Helen said, aghast.

  Au contraire. Cal held his ground. “I can if I want to,” he said stubbornly.

  Emma looked at Helen. Although no words were spoken, much seemed to pass between them. “I think it’s a very romantic idea, Cal,” Emma said tactfully at last, while Helen nodded in agreement. “But there are so many details that would have to be decided. And usually brides want very much to decide those things.”

  Cal knew that was true—Ashley had possessed very definite opinions on just about everything the first time around. “Can’t we just use the same flowers and stuff we used at our first wedding ceremony?” Cal asked.

  “I suppose.” Looking reluctant to snuff out such a romantic idea, Helen bit her lip.

  “What about the dress?” Emma asked. Again, she and Helen exchanged telltale looks. “Without sounding indelicate…are you sure Ashley will fit into the dress she wore the last time? As I recall it was quite
form-fitting.”

  Cal hadn’t thought about that, either. It was a good point. The last thing he wanted to do was point out to everyone else she had recently gained five pounds as well as several inches in all the right places. “So we’ll get her a new one,” Cal said.

  “How?” Helen leaned forward, determined to be practical now. “We don’t even have her measurements.”

  Cal shrugged, not going to let something that inconsequential derail his plans to add even more romance to his flagging marriage. “You know her style. I’m sure between the two of you that you could pick something out that she’d like to wear.”

  Helen and Emma exchanged trepidation-filled looks, then turned back at Cal.

  “I really want to do this, Mom,” Cal said before they could argue further.

  “And you’re sure it needs to be a surprise?” Emma ascertained slowly.

  Thinking about how commitment-shy Ashley had seemed lately, he nodded.

  “What about the Mustang you bought for her?” Helen interjected curiously. “I thought that was for Valentine’s Day.”

  Cal rubbed the tension gathering in the muscles in the back of his neck. “I already gave it to her. She needed something to drive now, and well…it’s a long story,” he said vaguely, not willing to go into specifics because of Ashley’s pique over the Hart family’s involvement in their marital difficulties.

  His mother looked at him as if she just bet there was much more to tell.

  Emma glanced at her watch again. “Oh, darn, I’ve got an appointment with Polly Pruett and Peter Sheridan to pick out their reception-table settings.”

  Cal understood their business was important. He stood, knowing he had to get back to the hospital, too. “Can I count on your help with this? Especially the dress and all that?” he asked Emma.

  Emma nodded and patted Cal’s arm reassuringly as she passed. “Just get me some undergarments and a dress or a skirt or pair of slacks that fit Ashley well and bring those in to me. We’ll run them over to the dressmaker and take the measurements off of those. If you’re discreet about it, Ashley will never suspect a thing.”

  Cal had known he could count on the women in the family to come through for him. “Thanks, Emma.” He stood, hugging her briefly.

  “You romantic devil, you.” Emma stood on tiptoe, bussed his cheek, then slipped out the door.

  Helen picked up the pen in front of her and looked at Cal. “Now. Suppose you tell me what’s really going on,” she said.

  LEAVE IT TO HIS MOTHER to cut straight to the chase. “What do you mean?”

  Helen got up to close the door to her office, ensuring them privacy once again. “Are you really this insecure about your marriage?” she said.

  Too restless to sit, Cal leaned up against the wall and put his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He should have known his mother wouldn’t pull any punches. Especially when it came to something this important. But if she thought he was backing out, just because there were logistical details to be worked out, she had another think coming. “I’m being romantic,” he defended himself.

  Helen sat on the edge of her desk and folded her arms in front of her. She regarded Cal sagely. “Romantic or desperate?”

  Ouch again! Cal let his jaw slide forward pugnaciously. “I admit I want her to stay.”

  Exasperation mixed with the kindness in Helen’s eyes. She looked at Cal as if she didn’t know whether to hug him or scold him. “To the point you’re trying to buy her love?”

  Cal tensed. A muscle working in his jaw, he moved away from the wall and began to pace the small confines of his mother’s elegantly outfitted office. “That’s not what I’m doing.” Cal moved to the floor-to-ceiling window and looked out at the elegantly landscaped grounds where many spring, summer and fall weddings were held.

  Helen walked over to adjust the elegant red and gold velvet drapes that were so perfectly suited for the century-old inn. “The car alone was a pretty big gift. Now you’re talking about throwing yourselves another wedding.”

  So Cal was generous when it came to his wife? He wasn’t about to apologize for gifting Ashley as she deserved. Besides, he had done something like this before—the first year they were married, he’d given her the farm and the house for Christmas.

  “Albeit on a much smaller scale,” Cal cautioned, letting his mother know the rest of his plans. He surveyed her sternly. “This time around I’d like it to be just family and a few close friends.” Not the splashy social occasion it had been the first time.

  “Still,” Helen shook her head disparagingly, “for someone who is still in the process of paying off his medical school debts, that’s a pretty big deal.”

  Cal knew the gift was impractical. That wasn’t the point. “I want her to know I love her,” he said firmly.

  Helen dropped the pen back onto the center of her desk. Abruptly, she looked as restless and unhappy as Cal felt. “And you think giving Ashley presents will accomplish that?” Helen said, as if it were the dumbest idea he’d ever had.

  “Well, God knows nothing else has.”

  Cal hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. But now that he had, they just hung there in the increasingly uncomfortable silence that followed.

  Helen stepped nearer and compassion resounded in her low tone. “You really think Ashley questions your feelings for her?”

  Cal knew his mother wished he would admit otherwise. But he wasn’t going to lie, not now, when he was finally putting voice to some of his own deepest fears. He dropped back down into the chair, suddenly feeling as exhausted—and uncertain—as he had every right to be. Finished pretending, Cal looked up at his mother and reluctantly confessed, “I don’t know, Mom. We’ve said we loved each other dozens of times over the ten years we’ve been a couple.”

  Just not recently.

  “But?”

  “I think she doubts something about us.” Cal just didn’t know quite what it was.

  Helen’s mood turned as contemplative as Cal’s. “And why would she do that?” she asked gently.

  And wasn’t that just the million-dollar question? Cal spread his hands wide. “Maybe because we lived apart from each other for two-and-a-half years. And you don’t have to remind me, I know you told me it was a dumb idea from the get-go to put our careers before our marriage.” But they had done it anyway and now they had to live with the consequences.

  Cal shrugged again, aware his mother was waiting to hear the rest. He needed to tell someone close to him what was bothering him deep inside. “Because we stopped knowing how to open up to each other what was in our hearts and on our minds. Because there’s this distance between us, Mom, that sometimes has us feeling more like strangers than husband and wife.” Even if Ashley didn’t come right out and say so, he knew by the way she looked at him she felt that way. Damn. Listen to him. He sounded like some whiny kid. Cal shoved his hands through his hair. “I’m hoping that if we renew our vows, if we start fresh, we can fix this.” Because God knew he needed to make his marriage right.

  Helen sighed, suddenly looking as deeply worried and discouraged as Cal. “Maybe you should consider counseling instead,” she suggested quietly.

  Cal thought about how that was likely to go over. Not well, to put it lightly. He shook his head. “No. I know Ashley, Mom. If she won’t open up to me, she sure as heck won’t open up to any counselor. This is the way it has to be.”

  Cal was sure he was doing the right thing. He and Ashley had to start communicating with each other before they would be able to believe in their future. Putting someone else in between them at this point would be as bad as putting miles between them. The way he saw it, if the car had worked to get her moving toward him, renewing their vows would be even better. “Now, are you going to help me?” Cal looked at his mother sternly. “Or should I be looking for a location other than the Wedding Inn this time around?” he asked impatiently.

  Helen went back to her calendar. “Of course you can have the ceremony here, bu
t it will have to be February thirteenth. There’s a wedding here earlier that day, but it should be cleared out by, oh—5:00 p.m., or so—and we could set up for yours for the eve of your wedding anniversary, if not the actual anniversary.”

  Close enough, Cal decided. “That’d be fine.”

  “And Cal, there’s one more thing—”

  A knock sounded on Helen’s door. “Come in,” Helen said.

  And much to Cal’s amazement and chagrin, Ashley walked in.

  ASHLEY WASN’T SURE what had been going on between Cal and his mother before she opened the door, but the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

  “You wanted to see me, Helen?” Ashley asked cheerfully, deciding this once ignorance was just going to have to be bliss. Because she had enough troubles, trying to keep her pregnancy secret, finding a job, pleasing her parents, and mending her struggling marriage to Cal, without borrowing any more.

  Not that this strain was any surprise. Cal had always been among the most private of Helen’s offspring, and the fact he wouldn’t confide what was on his mind had always made it hard for Helen to help him, as a kid and as an adult. And that was a shame, Ashley thought, because Helen Hart was one of the most understanding mothers Ashley had ever come in contact with. Given the chance…

  Helen smiled warmly and gestured for Ashley to have a seat in the chair next to Cal’s. “I asked you to come over because I have a favor to ask. You’re planning to be here through February seventh, aren’t you?”

  “Sure.” Ashley settled in her chair and crossed her legs at the knee. “Why?”

  “Well, we have a wedding going on here that is just a disaster waiting to happen, I’m afraid,” Helen confessed, her anxiety apparent. “The bride will be eight-and-a-half months pregnant on her wedding day.”

  Ashley did a double take as she contemplated that. “Whoa.”

  “Yes, I know.” Helen shook her head, commiserating. “Both Emma and I tried to talk Polly Pruett out of getting married so close to her due date, but Polly was adamant about wanting a big wedding as close to Valentine’s Day as possible. Turns out her fiancé, Peter Sheridan, was insistent they tie the knot before the baby was born. And her parents—who are paying for this huge affair—refused to let the wedding happen any closer to Polly’s due date than that, so this was the best compromise we could come up with.”