by June Taylor
‘Here’s the lucky man,’ said Louie. ‘I just came to make sure you have everything you need.’
‘We do indeed,’ he replied, with an unbearable smugness. ‘Just been to sort out dinner in our room for this evening.’
‘Don’t blame you,’ said Louie. ‘Well, you know where we are if you need anything. I’m going off shift now, but see you both in Leeds next Thursday.’
‘We’ll be there,’ said Aaron.
‘Great.’ Louie set off up the corridor then spun round on her heel. ‘Ooh. Tell you what though. Might be a good idea if you give me your number. These things can change at the last minute. There was talk about moving the preview to a different night. Wouldn’t want you trailing down to the gallery unnecessarily.’
‘Sure,’ said Aaron. ‘Why don’t you give her yours, Karin? Got my hands rather full, but there’s a pen in my top pocket. Actually it’s your pen.’ He nodded at Louie. ‘Think I stole it from you earlier.’
‘No worries,’ said Louie. Tempted to say that wasn’t all he had stolen from her. She handed Karin a piece of paper, suppressing a smile at seeing her hand shaking as she scribbled down a number. Louie snatched it from her and read it back. ‘Zero, seven, seven … two, seven, eight, four.’
‘Eight, seven, three, four,’ Aaron corrected.
‘It’s my writing,’ said Karin, weakly.
Aaron was struggling to get his key card to work; the flowers were hindering him. ‘Not sure why I’m still holding onto these,’ he said, laughing as he offered them to Karin. He gave her a peck on the cheek and went inside the room, leaving the door open.
‘Have a good night,’ Louie shouted. Then, lowering her voice down to a whisper, she pressed her face in to Karin’s. ‘I’m guessing he also doesn’t know you’ve killed people, Karin.’
15
Mel
Mel shuffled into the kitchen, still in her pyjamas and slippers. A mug of tea in one hand, a bowl of muesli in the other, she slumped into a chair and released an animal-like yawn. Karin was already dressed, in her work dungarees, sitting at the table. She seemed distracted, chewing her nail, and didn’t acknowledge Mel’s presence. Mel hadn’t seen her until late yesterday evening. She had been staying round at Aaron’s since Sunday, when she had got back from Morecambe.
Had Mel waded in too heavily with her interrogation last night? She wondered what sort of mood she would find Karin in this morning, before coming downstairs.
Trying to make an assessment of what to say now.
Karin’s hand was clamped around a mug of cold-looking coffee. There was an envelope resting on her plate and her other hand was covering her phone, also on the table.
‘Oh. Has the post come already?’ asked Mel in a cheery voice. She could see that the envelope, addressed to Karin, looked like it had been opened. ‘Anything interesting?’ Hesitating before reaching for the milk carton, Mel asked, ‘You okay?’, then poured some milk onto her muesli, noticing how pale Karin was. ‘Hey look, Karin. I’m sorry if I was out of order last night. I was in shock that you’d said yes, that’s all. And then – well I shouldn’t have accused you of only saying yes because Louie was standing over you. You know I’m really, really—’
‘Happy for me.’ Karin forced a smile. ‘You told me a hundred times already.’ She gave Mel’s hand a squeeze. ‘Don’t worry, you can still be my bridesmaid.’ They both knew she had no one else to offer that job to, but Mel was relieved all the same. Not about being a bridesmaid, but because they still seemed to be friends. In any case Karin had given her assurances that it was just an engagement at this stage, so not like they were going to dash off tomorrow to get wed or anything. There was still time to think about this.
A noise out in the hallway caused them both to look in that direction. Karin got up, and Mel could soon hear Karin’s voice drifting through into the kitchen. Exaggerated speech, followed by long pauses while she was signing.
‘I’m sorry. I’ve not seen you in a while, Will,’ she heard Karin say. ‘I’ve been staying at Aaron’s. Since I got back. And been working at the office. In town. But I’ll be down at Ashby Road. Later today. We need to crack on. Don’t we?’
There was an extra-long gap at that point, which made Mel feel uneasy.
‘Are you okay, Will?’ Karin asked. ‘You seem a bit subdued.’
Mel supposed, in the next silence, that Will was signing something back to her, but it was difficult to follow these one-sided conversations.
‘So. I’ll see you at work then,’ Karin continued. ‘You are going in today? Aren’t you? We need you, Will.’
Mel heard the front door close.
When Karin returned to the kitchen she looked puzzled. ‘Has Will been okay? He seemed a bit odd just now.’
‘Erm. Yes, as far as I’m ever able to tell. He hasn’t been around much these last few days. But I did feed him when he was here. I sent you proof of that.’
‘Thanks,’ said Karin, but she was distracted.
After another mouthful of muesli, wiping the drips off her chin, Mel decided this was as good a time as any to confront Karin about the next thing. She had found a flyer on the floor after Karin had gone to bed last night. Mel held it up and proceeded to read it out loud: ‘“Meet Me at the Edge. Seahorse Studio Art Show by Louie Fallon”.’
Karin rubbed her face. If she rubbed any harder, she would erase all her features.
‘In bloody Leeds, Karin?’
‘I was hoping you might come, actually.’
Mel’s spoon rattled against the side of the dish as she let go of it. ‘Please tell me you are not seriously considering it.’
‘Well, Aaron really wants to go. He’s seen some of Lou’s work and—’
‘You still haven’t told him, have you? My god, he’s even met her now, how’s that going to look? You can’t have secrets like this, Karin, if you’re marrying the guy.’
‘I know, but Louie was just a moment in my life. She happened to be there when I needed someone.’
‘So that’s what you tell Aaron.’
Karin was still rubbing her face. Luckily she didn’t wear make-up during the day. Her style was more tomboy than girlie as a rule, although Karin’s beauty came through whatever, even as a wasted kid on the street. Despite herself, Mel felt a pang of jealousy. She began stroking Karin’s arm.
‘You just say it was a fling between you and Louie, a youthful experiment, and you don’t want to encourage her again now.’
Karin sat back in the chair. ‘I should have told him at the outset. You were right. Now it’s just too complicated.’
As Mel studied her, she thought she saw a hot flush sweeping over Karin’s face. ‘Hey, nothing happened at the weekend, did it? With Louie? Mm?’
‘’Course it didn’t.’
Mel sucked air through her cheeks.
‘Okay, okay,’ said Karin, wiping the sweat that had gathered above her top lip. ‘She did try to kiss me, but I slapped her face.’
Mel held her gaze, waiting for a full confession if there was one.
All she said was: ‘I don’t want her back in my life, Mel. But now that she is, I just have to deal with it.’
‘She’s fucking crazy! Are you forgetting it was me who had to rescue you from her last time around? She was harassing you every minute of the day, you were in a right state.’
‘That’s why I need you there on Thursday,’ Karin replied, looking pleadingly at her. ‘I’ll book us a table at Swank for afterwards. Aaron won’t mind. Let’s spend some time together, just you and me. I was going to ask you in any case. I know how much you want to go to that place and I’d love to treat you.’
‘Why do you have to go to this stupid art exhibition though?’
‘I told you, Aaron likes her work. And I also don’t want Louie to think I’m being intimidated—’ Karin’s voice dropped as she was removing something from the envelope in front of her, ‘… by this.’
She offered the piece of paper to Mel.
‘What the hell is this?’ Mel pulled a face when she read it: ‘“I know everything Karin”.’ She couldn’t help laughing. The clumsily stuck-on words were cut out of newspaper headlines. ‘What’s she playing at? Who on earth does this these days?’ Then she turned serious again. ‘Why the hell did you give her your address?’
‘I told you, it was Aaron. I lost my scarf.’
Karin’s expression reminded Mel of the vulnerable young woman she had found on the streets just over a year ago. A scared, raggedy heap huddled under a blanket, with a blaze of red hair when she pulled back her hood.
‘You should really go to the police with this,’ Mel said. ‘Before it all starts up again. Or she just won’t leave you alone.’
Karin was scraping nail varnish off, like it had no right to be there in the first place, working along her row of fingers.
‘Why not? What is it she thinks she knows about you anyway? “I know everything Karin.” What’s that all about? Are you in trouble?’
Mel placed her arm round Karin’s shoulder because she looked like she was about to cry.
‘She’s just trying to scare me. Punish me.’
‘Clearly, someone is,’ said Mel through an exasperated sigh.
Karin’s frown was so deep for someone so young. ‘Well who else might it be?’ she asked. ‘Who? Mel, tell me who you think it is.’
‘Could be Will?’
‘What?’
‘Possibly.’
‘Are you serious? Why do you even say that?’
Mel let out another sigh. ‘I wasn’t going to tell you this, but maybe I should.’ She paused, because she knew how much it would impact on Karin. ‘I caught Will snooping on Friday night.’
‘What?’
‘He was in your room, making some pretence of returning jewellery that he claimed to have found on the landing.’
‘No. Well are you sure?’ Karin considered it for a moment. ‘There must have been some genuine reason why he was in my room.’
‘Oh come on, Karin. Like what? Like he’d “heard” something.’ Mel drew unsympathetic quotation marks around the word. ‘He had your jewellery in his hand. I’m sorry, I just don’t trust him now. I mean where does he go and what does he do when he’s not here? What company does he keep? Have you any idea?’
Karin started on another fingernail, spitting out a flake of nail varnish. ‘You’re wrong about him, Mel.’ She was getting more agitated. ‘I’ve lived on the streets and I know when I can trust someone. It’s like Will has another sense to make up for being deaf. He could always spot danger a mile off, long before I could. And he can read people too. He probably did “hear” something on Friday night.’
‘Yeah right.’
‘Will is the kindest soul. He’s such a good person. I mean even on the streets he never stole anything. A bread roll once from Sainsbury’s when we were both starving, but that’s it.’
Mel reached across for the envelope. She sniffed it, although wasn’t quite sure why. There was possibly a hint of perfume, but mostly it smelt like paper. She ran her finger over the stamp, holding it up to the window. ‘I’m not even sure if this really did come through the post,’ she said, after a close examination.
Karin grabbed it back to scrutinize for herself. ‘You think someone delivered it by hand then? So not Louie?’
‘Well it’s easy enough to get across to Leeds from Morecambe. Or from anywhere, for that matter. It might have been posted, I’ve no idea. I’m not bloody Sherlock Holmes, am I? All I know is that you should go to the police, Karin.’
Karin slapped the envelope down onto the table.
‘So, what are you going to do then, if you’re not prepared to do that?’
‘Ignore it,’ Karin replied. ‘It’s Louie, she’s just playing games.’
Karin’s phone vibrated on the table. It juddered, and seemed as startled as they were. When a message flashed up, Karin flipped it over, but it was there long enough for Mel to see it contained the words
Meet me at the edge.
She wished she could have seen the whole thing.
‘Was that her?’ asked Mel.
‘I’ve got to get to work,’ said Karin. She stood up, snatching her phone off the table.
‘Can’t believe you gave her your number as well! Hey, wait,’ said Mel, catching her by the arm. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean to. It just shits me up, that’s all.’ Karin nodded, apologetically. ‘’Course I’ll come with you on Thursday. But you do realize, you should be asking the police for help, not me.’
Karin marched off into the hallway.
‘You’re playing with fire,’ Mel shouted. ‘Do you realize that?’ She heard the front door close before she had even finished her sentence.
Too late. The fire’s already started, thought Mel.
16
Karin
The traffic was doing its usual crawl through Headingley. A cricket match down at the stadium was making it even busier than normal, and Louie’s face was everywhere in the crowds. Aware that Louie now had everything she needed: phone number, her address and Aaron’s, was feeding Karin’s paranoia.
As she waited for the beep of the pedestrian crossing at the end of the Arndale, her heart was pumping so fast she thought it might actually explode out of her chest. Holding onto the box of cakes she had just bought from Greggs, she was trying to focus on work, not on Louie. They were almost over the finishing line now, but she needed everyone to pull together on this final push for next Saturday’s launch.
She hoped Will understood that. Surely he did. This meant everything to him. His behaviour this morning had perturbed her, not to mention the disturbing things Mel had said about him afterwards. She would speak to Will as soon as she got to work, get his version of the story.
Will would never lie to her.
An angry driver tooted his horn when she stepped out before the lights had changed. She almost dropped the box of cakes. Her mind was full of too many other things.
I KNOW EVERYTHING KARIN
‘Watch where you’re bloody going,’ the passenger in the car shouted.
Her hand shot up in a V-sign, the fury inside her coursing to her fingertips. It was the reaction of someone living rough. Or a school kid kicking back against the system. That’s why the counsellor had suggested tossing the imaginary pebbles into the sea. ‘Or try holding onto your wrist with your thumb and forefinger, Karin. Deep breaths. It all helps.’
Coping strategies. For when she really couldn’t any more.
But she had been coping. That was the thing. Karin had worked hard to get her life to where it was now. Aaron was the man she wanted to marry; she had a job which actually meant something; some money behind her too, even if it was a hand-out from her mother. She finally had something which resembled a proper future. Karin could safely say that she was happy, and it was a happiness she felt she could trust.
But then the weekend happened.
And Louie, all over again.
It was a haze to her now, coming back in fragments. Excerpts of one mistake after another playing out in her head. The biggest of all was Louie. Why give her that shred of hope, then crush it immediately after? And why did Aaron have to wave the engagement ring in front of her like that? Not the way to treat someone who had saved you from drowning. Louie didn’t deserve that. But it was not a mistake saying yes to Aaron. Her mistake was in not telling him about Louie. Before the weekend.
There may have been a momentary spark in the toilets again, a runaway desire for that raw passion which had once fused their teenage souls together, but Karin had let go of Louie a long time ago. The shock of seeing her had made her behave irrationally. It could have come out of pity, Karin supposed, or a sense of guilt. Really, she had no idea what happened, other than she bitterly regretted it now. Of course, Mel was right to advise her not to go anywhere near that exhibition on Thursday, but how could Karin stop that either? Tell her fiancé that she had had sex with her former girl
friend in the toilets just before he proposed?
Whatever she did now, Karin was on the back foot.
As if Louie had been reading her thoughts for the past forty minutes, the phone flagged up another message:
LOVE YOU TO SEE MY PAINTINGS.
MEANS SO MUCH.
YOU MUST COME.
LOU xx
With that, Karin was in Morecambe again. In their tiny bedsit, cold and damp in winter, a tropical hothouse in summer. Poorly lit, the shower no more than a trickle, and a room full of rickety furniture that smelt of old people. None of that mattered because it was their home. Their love nest. Sometimes she would laugh so much with Louie it would hurt, and all Karin wanted to do was drink up every last drop of her, in case Louie’s love for her ran out.
But things had got out of control and she knew Louie would never let her go. Fearing the consequences if she didn’t get out.
Mel had fixed things. As soon as she heard Karin had a ‘stalking ex’ on her case – as Mel referred to her – the next time Louie called she grabbed the phone. Karin begged her: ‘Oh please, Mel, don’t be cruel. She thinks I’m in the States.’
‘I’ll be your American girlfriend then,’ said Mel. ‘I’ll tell her to stop calling you.’
It seemed to work for a while, but then Louie persisted again with texts:
How are you, please explain, when are you coming back?
In the end, Mel advised Karin to take the obvious action and change her number: Why haven’t you already done this anyway, Karin?
It was a reasonable question. But changing her number was the last resort. It might get rid of Louie, but it would also sever the link to her mother. Karin longed for a call to say that Birgitta was sorry too and that she could go home. She wanted her mother to take some responsibility for what had occurred. In reality Karin knew this was never going to happen, but it had been mildly reassuring that at least a sequence of numbers still held the two of them together. Now there wasn’t even that. So when Louie was finally eliminated from her life, Birgitta went too. It left Karin feeling both liberated and bereft, not sure which was greater for which person. Not that it mattered. They were both gone and that was what mattered.