by June Taylor
Karin stood firm.
‘Come back to me, Karin. Just don’t take too long about it. If you marry him, you’ll be sorry.’
24
Karin
Karin found herself alone again. She took a moment before going back out, heading straight for the toilets to try and recover. Her head was screaming, and she desperately wanted to escape from here now. Go home. Back to Aaron’s place preferably. She was in no mood to go to a restaurant with Mel, although she could hardly bail out of that one at such short notice, having built it up to be the big Thank You meal. It was the least she could do, and especially as Mel had been on the receiving end of one of those appalling notes. Will was gone. She didn’t want to lose Mel too.
Where was Will now? she wondered. Wandering round Leeds looking for a place to put his sleeping bag? Had he gone back to ‘his bedroom’ down by the river? Karin hoped that after a couple of nights in the open, he would change his mind. In spite of not seeing him as often as she once did, she still felt her life was somehow incomplete without him. It continued to baffle her as to why he would walk away from the opportunity of a proper home and the chance of a better future.
‘Darling,’ said Aaron, handing her a glass of wine when she re-emerged. ‘I couldn’t find you anywhere. And your friend, or whatever you want to call her, wants us to choose a painting. As a wedding present!’
‘What?’ The word got stuck in her throat.
‘She’s offering us one of two, but I said I’d leave it for you to decide. Let me show you.’ He took her by the arm. ‘I was saying to Mel earlier, I really think these could be worth something one day. We shouldn’t look a gift horse, as they say.’
Karin had a fainting taste in her mouth. Metal. Like eating tinfoil. And a blurry sensation in her limbs was making it impossible to put one foot in front of the other. Somehow she made it over to Ophelia. She must have, because she was standing in front of it now.
‘What do you think?’ asked Aaron, raising his arm as if he already owned it.
‘Yeah, it’s—’
‘Oh. You don’t like it.’ Aaron sounded defensive. Or disappointed, she couldn’t tell which.
‘Well yes, it’s just—’ Karin swallowed. She was on the verge of giving him some sort of explanation when she saw him waving his hand at Louie to come over.
‘Right,’ said Louie, rubbing her hands, ‘so which is it to be?’
‘You don’t have to do this,’ said Karin.
‘No, I insist,’ said Louie. ‘If you’re getting married.’
Karin was desperate to locate Mel, frantically searching for her in the crowd. She badly needed Mel’s strength and support right now, but couldn’t spot her anywhere.
‘Is there a problem, Karin?’ Aaron made it sound more like an accusation than a question.
‘Erm. Not really. It’s just the woman in this picture is – well, she’s dead.’
‘Of course she is, it’s Ophelia,’ he said.
Karin could feel Louie’s eyes burning into her cheek. Then Aaron pulled her to one side.
‘Being a bit ungracious, aren’t you?’ He spoke in a low whisper. ‘Is there something you’re not telling me? I just wish you’d open up to me, I’m not a mind reader.’
‘I told you, Aaron, I nearly drowned once.’ She was also whispering, trying not to sound angry.
‘Yes, I’m aware of that. But it’s Ophelia in the painting, not you.’
Karin felt faint again. Had Louie said something? She really couldn’t tell by Aaron’s tone.
‘It still makes me think of my bad experience,’ she said, reminding herself of the fact there was no real resemblance. Not unless you knew. It wasn’t her face or anything. Not in any of the paintings. You really did have to know in order to make that connection. She was just being paranoid.
‘Any thoughts?’ said Louie, interrupting. ‘Maybe you’d prefer the other one if you’re not so keen on Ophelia.’ She linked arms with the pair of them and continued talking. ‘And if you don’t like that one, then you just choose whichever you like.’
The next painting was titled Meet Me at the Edge. Karin remembered Louie starting it just before she left Morecambe. An enormous canvas, spread thickly with creamy blues and whites and two vague outlines in the distance, standing side by side like ghosts. It was a romantic painting in its innocence.
Louie’s eyes were on her once more from behind, burning into her back. At least this painting didn’t feature any of her body parts, as far as she could tell. No hair. No blood, no fingernails; she wouldn’t put it past Louie to stop at just hair. And the figures were pretty abstract, despite Karin knowing exactly who they were.
‘Yeah, I guess this one,’ she said, feebly.
‘You still don’t sound keen,’ said Aaron.
‘No, I am. It’s a beautiful painting. I always loved it.’
‘Great, well let me put the red dot on it then,’ said Louie, stepping forwards to do just that. It seemed like she was making an attempt to rescue Karin by moving in quickly. Perhaps to deflect from her use of the word always?
Did always say too much about the two of them? Karin didn’t know any more. She was drowning in lies, pulling her under.
‘Gone to a very good home,’ said Louie.
It helped Karin recover, whatever Louie intended by it.
‘Thank you,’ she said, smiling thinly at Louie. This was all part of her carefully choreographed game of course, Karin realized. She wouldn’t want to jeopardize things with Aaron, acting in a way to protect her own interests.
As well as doing her best to unnerve Karin.
She felt Aaron’s hand brushing her hair to one side, and assumed he was going to kiss her. Instead he whispered: ‘We need to talk, Karin.’
It made the blood empty out of her again as the Victoria Arcade rotated in a kaleidoscope of marble and coloured glass. Karin had to excuse herself, abandoning Aaron with Louie for the second time this evening. But she knew, if she were to faint now, it would be an even worse disaster.
She had in her sights a marble pillar to lean against. It was a long way off. Trying to keep her breathing under control, fingers tight around her wrist, she stumbled, reaching into thin air to stop herself from falling. An arm linked through hers. A sturdy shoulder bolstered her upright and she heard a voice say: ‘You okay, Karin?’
‘Mel. Thank God. Let’s get out of here.’
As Mel steered them towards the glass doors at the bottom end of the arcade, it occurred to her that she hadn’t told Aaron she was leaving but couldn’t face going back. She would text him. It was a risk leaving him here alone with Louie, although the damage had already been done.
25
Mel
‘Well I didn’t tell him, obviously,’ said Mel. ‘I made an innocent suggestion that it looked a bit like you in one of the paintings, that was all. I guess I just panicked, I’m sorry. Look, you asked me to help out, Karin, but I’ve no idea what I’m supposed to do. I’m doing my best here.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ she replied, staring out of the window.
‘Do you though? There’s a nutcase out there on the loose. Again. Sending shitty notes to people, and God knows what she’ll do next. Yet you refuse to go to the police. Personally, that makes me a little bit uncomfortable.’
‘It’s fine,’ said Karin, looking apologetic this time. ‘You did fine. I’m glad you were there, Mel. It would have been a million times worse without you. Let’s try and enjoy ourselves now. Cheers.’
The restaurant lived up to its name. Understated and minimalist, but with a swank that gave it a touch of the New York loft. A rippling of jazz notes from a live pianist twinkled in the background. Their table was overlooking the river. They had placed their order and got settled with a bottle of wine, enjoying the lights reflected in colourful zigzags on the water from neighbouring bars and buildings.
‘The good thing to come out of this,’ said Mel, ‘is that Aaron must have sussed that you don’t want to b
e around her.’ She waited for a reaction but there wasn’t one. ‘Oh come on, Karin. So you have one of her paintings, it’s no big deal. Aaron says they’ll be worth something one day.’
The ridiculously expensive bottle of wine that Karin had selected was being wasted on her bad mood. Mel watched her send a large mouthful of it down her throat as she stared out at the river.
‘He seemed to be pushing me tonight though,’ she said, still pensive. ‘I could feel it.’
‘Do you really think so?’
‘Yeah, he was just different with me.’
‘Maybe Louie said something to him then. The thing is, she might, Karin. So maybe it’s time to come clean?’
‘If I tell Aaron now, I’ll lose him,’ she snapped. ‘And then I’ve lost everything, haven’t I?’
Their food came and went. Mel cleared her plate, commenting on how delicious it was, several times, but Karin hardly touched hers. They barely spoke at all during the meal. Karin drifted off into the muted piano sounds that weaved in and out of other people’s conversations, while Mel studied her, trying to read what was going on inside her head.
After their plates were cleared away, Mel attempted to pull her back into the moment. ‘I know you still think some of this is my fault but if you don’t tell me what Louie has on you, how do I know what to say? It’s not fair to put me in this position. You asked me to go along to that exhibition when I didn’t even want to.’
Karin was still distant. After a while she reached for Mel’s hand and Mel accepted. ‘Listen Karin, the police can put a restraining order on Louie,’ she said, stroking her hand. ‘Did you tackle her about those notes?’
Karin shook her head. ‘No point. She knows exactly what they’re doing to us.’
‘And what she is doing is against the law, stalking and harassing you like this.’ Karin’s head dropped, but Mel wasn’t going to stop there. ‘And what about all the other stuff you carry around with you? It’s no wonder you’re a wreck, Karin. Your dad dying, the way things are with your mum, your stepdad committing suicide. Are you sleeping okay? You don’t look like you are. Maybe you should go and see someone.’
Karin rolled her eyes, twirling the wine she had left round her glass before finishing it.
‘I mean like a counsellor or something.’
She let out a mock laugh in reply, holding her glass out for a refill. ‘Been there, tried that. Thanks for your concern, Mel. I appreciate it, I really do.’ Karin gulped the refill down then faded back into her thoughts again. After a while, she began looking round for the waiter.
‘Okay,’ said Mel, seeing Karin gesturing for the bill. ‘Well you just tell me what to do about Louie and I’ll do my best. As long as you don’t ask me to kill her, that is.’
Karin’s face dropped.
‘Hey that was a joke. All I’m saying is, I’m here for you. Okay?’
‘Thanks. Sorry for being such terrible company tonight.’
‘No, you’re not. You’re doing okay, Karin. It’ll be okay.’
Mel knew it wouldn’t be. It’ll end in tears, her mother used to say, but that wasn’t what Karin needed to hear right now. She had floated off again, staring at the river.
Eventually Karin pointed to something. ‘That was Will’s spot down there,’ she said, sinking deeper into the memory. ‘Just a bit further along by the bridge. He called it his bedroom.’ She paused to drink up the last drops from her glass, still looking out of the window when the waiter brought their bill, which she settled without even checking it was right. Mel thanked her, and when Karin left a £20 tip on the table she cringed at how much this meal must have cost.
They stood up at the same time, gathering their belongings.
A chilly wind greeted them when they stepped out into the night. As they pulled their thin layers over their chests, a young man came shuffling towards them with a mangy-looking dog on the end of some string. He asked for money, Mel shaking her head at that request. Predictably, Karin stopped to talk to him and Mel saw her putting some coins into his hand.
‘He’s seen Will down on the river,’ she said, trotting back to Mel.
‘Well just you promise me that you’re not going to do anything stupid. It’s dark and dangerous as hell down there.’
‘That used to be my life too, remember,’ said Karin. There was strength in her voice when she said that, but it faded quickly. ‘Seems a lifetime ago now.’
‘Fortunately those days are over.’ Mel gave her arm a reassuring squeeze and Karin patted her hand in appreciation. ‘Thanks for tonight,’ Mel added. ‘But you don’t have to treat me any more. I mean you’ve done it now, and it was lovely, but I’d rather you just look after yourself. Okay?’
Mel rubbed her own shoulders, feeling the goose bumps ripple down her arms as the night air started to bite. ‘Right then, it’s bloody cold standing here. I take it you’re staying with Aaron tonight, not coming back to Headingley?’
Karin gave her a guilty shake of her head, quickly offering to pay for Mel’s taxi and trying to flag one down as it passed, but the light was off. Mel said she would walk on a bit further in any case, to the taxi rank, as she needed to pick up a few things from Tesco Express before it closed.
‘Karin, no!’ she shouted when Karin began extracting a £20 note from her purse, trying to push it into Mel’s hand. ‘I have my own taxi fare, thank you. Put it away. You don’t need to buy my friendship, Karin. Or anyone else’s.’ Mel was about to add that she really shouldn’t be flaunting her money about like that because it made her look vulnerable. But it would sound like another lecture and she concluded that Karin had more than enough to deal with for now.
They parted company with a meaningful embrace, brief enough to keep their emotions at bay. Until Karin flung herself at Mel again. ‘Sorry,’ she said with a sniff, wiping the tears off her face.
‘Don’t set me off,’ said Mel, but she was crying too now. ‘You can get through this, Karin. You’re a fighter. Just tell me how I can help and I will. Don’t worry about Aaron, I’m sure he’ll be fine. You’ll work it out. Now go get some sleep.’
Karin nodded. She looked so alone.
As Mel walked away she blew her a kiss, which Karin mirrored back to her. They went in opposite directions. Mel checked several times to see that Karin was going where she was meant to be heading and hadn’t changed her mind.
26
Karin
Karin knew that Mel would be watching. She looked back once to wave, then hurried along to the end of the road, where she turned the corner and waited another ten minutes before returning to the bridge.
Leaning against the railings, the chill from the metal bars passed through her chest into her veins, sending a shiver round her whole body. What a dark, lonely place it was down there. Back then it didn’t used to bother her, because that was how it was, and Karin soon learned to creep about like a dirty shadow. During the daytime most people would hold their breath and walk by.
Homeless. Invisible.
Those words went together like night and day.
The truth was she was too scared to venture down there now, even if she wanted to try and find Will. Grown soft on central heating, lights that come on at the flick of a switch, and doors which locked and bolted, keeping her safe. A solid roof over her head to block out the snow blizzards and gale-force winds.
Modern comforts turned people into cowards.
Karin considered the number of times Will had come to her rescue. He had always been there for her, by her side. Spending their days and nights together as street companions. Friends for life. Then a sudden thought pricked the back of her neck. So could it be that Will was somehow jealous? Of Mel perhaps. Aaron. Even Louie. She thought of those hateful notes and Will’s parting words to her on the Ridge a couple of days ago.
I know everything, Karin.
She didn’t hang about for much longer. In the end, resorted to ordering an Uber because she was too cold and afraid to walk back on her own.
It was after midnight by the time she got in. Turning the key silently, she crept in like a cat as Aaron was probably in bed by now. Slipping her boots off at the door, tiptoeing across the floorboards, she noticed the light was still on in the kitchen, dimmed.
When she nudged open the door, it was the first thing she saw.
The painting. Lying across the breakfast bar.
There was a delay of a few seconds before she realized Aaron was standing on the other side of it, glass of brandy in his hand.
‘My god, Aaron!’ she said, her heart pounding. ‘Why didn’t you say something?’
Shaking the ice cubes around his glass, he took a sip, keeping his eyes on Karin. The painting was like a giant tree fallen between them.
‘How did you get it back here?’ she asked. ‘It’s massive.’ She moved towards him, stopping at the chair to put her bag down and then deciding that was close enough.
‘People can be easily bought,’ he said, taking another sip of brandy. Something in that comment made her heart thump against her chest, until he added: ‘I bunged a couple of security guys a tenner. They carried it back for me.’
Aaron knew a lot of people around Leeds, so could always get favours. Something Karin was grateful for because he had managed to secure plenty of them to assist with the housing project.
‘We don’t have to keep the painting here, if you don’t want,’ he added. ‘I can put it in the office. She’ll never know.’
‘Oh. No, it’s fine. I was just a bit shocked when she said it was a wedding present. That’s what threw me.’
Aaron flung his arms out in exaggerated surprise. ‘Really? So what’s that on your finger then? I could’ve sworn it was a ring.’ He raised his eyebrows, bringing the glass to his lips again, placing it down on the unit when it was empty; the hollow clanking sound causing her to shudder. Karin told herself that they were both drunk, probably. And tired. Her insomnia was unbearable just now, too many thoughts racing through her mind that never seemed to stop.