by Imani King
"Hey, how did you get here?" Nicholas asks as he leans forward to catch my eye.
"I rode along in the ambulance," I say. I'm just realizing that I don't have a way home. My car is still stuck in the parking garage at work, since Nicholas gave me a ride when it broke down yesterday.
"Ok, well don't worry about a thing. I'll take you wherever you need to be. And I won't even tell your boss that you're taking the day off." His eyes twinkle. God, I could fall into those eyes. They're so beautiful. My own almost close in relief and fatigue. "You're exhausted," he says. A new tenderness fills his voice, and he takes me in his arms. They surround me. I didn't know a hug could feel so good. His body is the perfect size for me - shoulders that my head nestles into easily, body that fits mine perfectly. Just as I had imagined, so many times. But I shouldn’t forget --this is my boss!
I pull away and look at him for a moment. "You give good hugs," I finally say.
"I'm glad you enjoy them," he says. "You're welcome to one just about anytime you like." His drawl is definitely coming back. And it’s adorable. My cowboy! Well I hope so, anyway.
"I just might take you up on that," I grin. How long has it been since someone hugged me like that, since they kissed me, since... we we know what comes next. It seems like it's been years, but I only wish it had been, after that ex of mine. Jamal, that snake. He used to make me feel like I owed him when he paid me any attention at all.
"Let's go," he says, handing me my half-full cappuccino, which warms my hands, and if I’m honest, my heart. Then he gathers up our garbage and throws it out. I watch the outline of his muscles moving under the fabric of his shirt, and it transforms this mundane task into something glorious. I wish I were a painter, so I could capture the beauty of his body, of his movements.
Oh Lord, I might be falling for this man. Correction, I realize as he turns toward me and offers me his arm. I am falling for this man. I gratefully take it and lean into him a little. He twinkles a little at me.
"You're so brave, Adisa," he says, and I can tell he means it.
"I try to be," I reply. But inside I don't feel so brave. I just feel tired, and thankful that I have someone to lean on, even if it's only for right now.
12
Nicholas
I open the door for her. She's not a tiny woman like Stephanie was - in fact her luscious curves are one aspect that draws me to her so intensely - but right now she seems so curled in on herself. It must be so hard to have so much on your shoulders. That's one reason it feels so good to try to take some of that burden away from her.
We drive to her house in a gentle silence. I glance at her every now and then and see her emotions working their way out on her face, just in a hint of the movement of the corner of her mouth, or in the sigh that escapes those luscious lips. I would talk to her, but she just seems to need that peace and quiet right now. So I reach out and pat her hand gently. To my surprise she takes mine and squeezes it, and keeps ahold of it while I drive. I try to make it so I don't have to switch gears very often as I don’t want to break our connection. But every time I do, we grasp each other’s hand again, and every time feels so gratifying, such a relief. Her hand feels so soft and smooth, the richly dark skin contrasting against my light skin, so small against mine. And there's something else there as well; something electric. A shiver that connects us together, like a tiny thread from my heart to hers, that we can touch.
I squeeze her hand in response to her, and she sighs again, but there's a different quality to it this time. Now it carries a whisper of longing, and my heart jumps. I feel it too, I want to say. I want to hold you and treasure you, feel you in my arms, cup your full breast in my hand, slide my thumb over your nipple as my other hand traces its way to the small of your back. And then I want to pick you up and carry you to my bed.
Her finger strokes the skin of my hand, small circles tracing smoothly over my palm as I pull up outside her house.
"Do you want to come in?" She asks.
Good God, yes, I think. But I don't want to take advantage of her in this vulnerable state. How could I. I am her boss, after all, even just temporarily, and I don't want to push her. I know what would happen if I went in there. There would be no stopping us, no stopping us once we held each other's bodies in our arms. The connection is too strong, already.
"I'd love to, but I don't want to impose. But..." Another thought occurs to me. "Are you ok being alone right now?"
It would be wrong of me to leave her alone as well, when she needs someone. Am I fooling myself?
What are you getting yourself into, Nicholas? I hear Rowan's voice in my head again. You don't want to do anything you'll regret.
That's literally impossible. I just don't want to make her do something she will regret. I wouldn't regret a moment of spending time with her.
"No, I'd love it if you came in." Her voice is quiet, dignified. But I can hear the softening of her heart in it, in the way she says ‘love.’ It echoes my thoughts, my feelings.
Here goes nothing. I shut the engine down and hop out, jogging over to the other side of the car to get there before she opens the door herself. She seems surprised that I'm doing so, but it's just the way I was raised, especially when I’m alone with a woman. We may not have always been wealthy, we Corbett boys, but our parents were always very careful to show us how to behave with a lady, in a formal situation, that sort of thing. Not that they were ever stuffy at all; in fact my mother's laugh could make anyone in the room crack up, and they are always very welcoming to visitors. It's something I've always loved about them.
I offer Adisa my arm again, hoping she'll snuggle into it like she did the last time, and she does. The feel of her grasping onto me, smiling up at me, is something I could really get used to.
We walk slowly up to the door, the only sound the sound of our footfalls on the scattered dried leaves.
She pulls a key out of her pocket. It has a small stuffed animal on the keychain which bounces as she turns the lock. I can't help it, I can barely breathe thinking of being alone in the house with her. It'll take everything I have not to just pin her down, hike up her shirt and bare those round breasts. Kiss my way down to their peaks.
"Here we are," she says, turning to me and smiling. "It's going to feel so empty in here, with Dad gone and the kids at school. It's never this quiet..."
"I imagine not," I say, watching her bend over to take off her short boots. Her body drives me wild. And the feeling is only getting more intense. "You're such an angel to take such good care of all of them." It’s not just her body, it’s her kindness. Her soul. Her love, which shows in everything she does.
"I don't have much choice, but thank you." She takes my coat and I can feel the electricity between us. There's a gleam in her eye, I'm sure of it. "My mother would want me to, and she was my inspiration. A real lady," she says.
"Like you," I smile.
"I never thought of myself as a lady, per se. It’s a lot to live up to, her memory." Her eyes are downcast for a moment. "It was really hard, losing her." She seems to catch herself then, and her face clears. “Would you like a cup of coffee, or tea?"
"Sure, whatever you're having." I look around their home. Everything is well worn but clean and pretty, and organized. Very comfortable, maybe because it’s not standing on ceremony or anything like that. Kinda reminds me of the ranch I grew up on. It's definitely not like one of the Park Avenue places where you can't imagine that anyone ever actually lives there, ever spends any time there - a house that's only for show, empty as an old tin can, and about as comfortable. That’s designed, and maintained, and cleaned by someone other than who lives there -- I've been in a lot of places like that since I've been in in NYC, and this is honestly a breath of fresh air.
"It's modest, but it's ours," she says, seeing me survey the place.
"I love it." I hope she understands that I mean that sincerely. "It's so warm and homey."
Her smile lights up her face, and my heart grows
warm in return.
"Have a seat," she says, and I fold a leg under me as I sink into the couch. She sits beside me. "Thanks for being here," her long lashes momentarily obscure her downcast eyes. “I really can use the company right now. It's guess it’s strange that it feels so natural, you being here, since you’re my boss and all. But not for long I guess, right?"
"Sure," I say. It's a bit awkward but I guess we have to discuss it sometime. "Are you going to be ok, once the term's over in a couple weeks?"
"Yeah, I have my work at the restaurant." She studies her hands. "And this was mostly just to give my brother and sister a great year...and great birthdays... they deserve it after the year they've just been through. But now the year’s not over and daddy’s in the hospital, and their birthdays are not exactly my first priority even if I wanted them to be. They’re just little kids, I have to remember. I really wanted to keep everything as stable as possible for them right now. And now that daddy can’t do his part, it’s even more up to me. I need to do everything I can to make a difference."
"You deserve a great year too," I say softly, and her eyes float up to look at me.
"Thank you," she murmurs. "Hey, would you mind if I just kind of... snuggled up to you for a bit?"
My heart is in my throat. "Of course not," I say. "In fact, I'd love it."
She wastes no time, and soon her body is curled next to mine. I wonder if she can hear my heart beating? It's practically leaping out of my chest. But we just sit there, and I put my arm around her, and listen to her breathe. I wonder what she's feeling right now? I stroke her upper arm gently as I feel her body relax against my chest. The tea sits on the table, nearly forgotten. Nothing could feel as good as this - nothing.
13
Adisa
I can't believe I asked him that! Leaning up against him, I breath in his scent. Woody, warm, masculine. His muscles feel firm and pliable against my hand, and my head in his shoulder feels like it was always meant to be there. After a while, our breath synchronizes, and I watch his pec muscles rise and fall. I hope he doesn't mind me leaning on him like this, quite literally. But I don't believe he does. The way he looks at me makes me feel like the most special woman in the world, in fact, the only woman in the world... and besides, why would he come meet me at the hospital if he wasn't interested in me?
I cuddle into him a little more, and in return he squeezes me nearer to him gently. It's so peaceful. Before I know it, he leans over and kisses the top of my head. I look up, frozen, and our eyes meet. I could stare into his eyes forever, they're so beautiful and blue. He leans down, and our lips touch - gently at first, soft, tentative, and I can barely move, as electricity shoots up my spine and down into my core. But then I can't hold back, and my hand is in his hair, so thick and soft.
"Adisa," he breathes. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and tingles run through my body as he kisses down my cheek, my ear, nibbling the tender skin there. I'm gasping for breath, and little noises are coming out of my mouth. "Are you sure you're ok with this? The last thing I would want to do is take advantage."
"I'm sure," I say as my arms encircle him, feeling the ripple of the muscles in his back, the warmth under the soft thick shirt he's wearing. And I am sure. I realize how long I've wanted this with him. Ever since I first saw him, I knew that I was attracted to him and not only because he was gorgeous, and not just because of the way he looked at me. No, it's also because there's something inside him that is also inside of me. Some kind of pain, some kind of wound, and just knowing that I'm not alone in feeling that way but he does as well makes me feel so close to him. And also there is the hope that we can heal that pain together.
His hand reaches up and cups my breast, the thumb moving in tiny circles over my nipple and my breath quickens even more. We fall down on the couch, a tangle of limbs, lips and tongues mingling, heat rising.
"Look I love this couch and all," he starts, pulling away from me slightly and looking in my eyes. "But is there somewhere we could be that’s a little more comfortable?"
I giggle. Yes, it must be hard for someone like him, so tall and everything. "Sure." I grab his hand and lead him up to my bedroom, thankful that I recently cleaned it and changed the sheets, because there hasn't been much time for anything these days. He stops me at the threshold and says again,
"Are you sure, Adisa?"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," I say. With those words he grabs me hard and kisses me like I have never been kissed before. His mouth is so pure, his passion so evident. I can feel his hard length against my hip and unconsciously I push against it, grinding, and a moan escapes his soft lips.
"Nicholas," I breathe, savoring his name. We gradually peel off each other's clothes.. his cut musculature, my soft curves.
"I love the way you say my name," he growls, and then we are on the bed, his lips fixed on the hard tips of my nipples, licking and sucking as I writhe under him. "You're so goddamned sexy..."
My core is aflame, and I wrap my legs around him, the thickness of his cock teasing me.
"Are you on the pill?" He asks. "Or do we need a condom?"
I remember I still have one left from when Jamal last came over. It's a little over a year old, but it will do.
"Hang on, I think I have one in the nightstand." Thinking about Jamal is not what I want to be doing right now. He was honestly a trifling man. But Nicholas wouldn't be like that. He's the opposite of Jamal. I get up to grab the condom, and the feeling is hard to shake, remembering Jamal and how wrong I went choosing him. And the pain of it ending, nonetheless.
"What's the matter?" Asks Nicholas softly. He's at my side now and his arm slips around me. He tips my chin up with his finger and I can see the concern shining in his eyes.
"Nothing," I say firmly. "Nothing that bothers me anymore - just a bad memory."
His face darkens for a moment. "I know what that's like," he says. He sits down on the side of the bed, and I can't help but admire his abs, his pecs, his shoulders. "Hey Adisa?"
I sit beside him.
"Look, as you know I just got divorced, and that's all behind me," he begins. "Finally. But I want to start off on the right foot with you. I know we don't know each other that well, but I just feel I can trust you. In fact, I know it. I have real respect for what you're doing with, and for, your family. Plus, I'm not the kind of guy who's a player. I am not promiscuous. I haven't been with a lot of women, and that's by choice. But I just find it really hard to resist you. And it's not just because you're beautiful." He thinks I'm beautiful? "I mean, I'm a man, full red-blooded Texan man, and I notice all that, don't get me wrong. It would be hard to miss. But the main thing that draws me to you is that you just seem like a beautiful person inside. I just don’t want to do anything unless you’re fully sure. Because this thing between us may not have gone on long, but I feel it could be something really good." He heaves a sigh like he just put down something heavy. "Do you understand what I mean?"
Something inside me softens and I am suffused with tenderness. And desire. "I do," I say, "perhaps more than you know." He’s like gravity to me and I can’t help but lean in. When he kisses me this time, there's something more. It's slow, it's soft, like there's energy flowing between us - circling, coursing through my body and shivering over my lips to his. I feel my heart glowing golden again as his hand touches my neck and strokes it as he kisses me. His lips move down to my chest, and he sucks gently on one nipple, then the other, until I’m compelled to pull him back to my mouth to express my pleasure, my gratitude somehow... my love?
Is that what this is?
His unclothed body feels so good, so pure, against mine, his skin so soft. I revel in the sensations, my heart feeling as if it will burst from my chest. Before long, I can't stand it anymore and I press the condom into his hand, which he takes and turns away for a minute. When he turns back, his length is sheathed, and he lays beside me, kissing me again with a more than a hint of fierceness. I reach aro
und to his backside, taking a passionate grip of his firm butt cheek, and guide him toward me. Then we roll together until he is inside me, opening me, stretching me as he pulls me to him, causing waves of pleasure to ebb and flow through my core. The incredible closeness of it, the intimacy of all this, loosens something inside my heart and before long we are moving together in a strong rhythm, our kisses become wild, and I wrap my arms and legs around him tightly as we move together. He looks into my eyes, and my lips tremble with vulnerability, until we both cry out in ecstasy and he finally collapses on me.
"Am I too heavy?" He finally asks, voice muffled against my breast. I giggle a bit.
"No," I say. "You're perfect." And I mean it.
Our breathing slows and softens.
"You're perfect," he says as he looks up. His voice is throaty. "Really."
We kiss again and our mouths fuse together tenderly. Finally he pulls away to take care of the condom, and I roll over and hug my pillow. I wonder how I got so lucky to have a man like this in my bed? When he comes back he strews little kisses all over my face. Oh he is something else, this man.
"Are you hungry?" He asks. "We can take a quick shower and then I can make something for you, or we can go out and grab something. Or if you need to sleep, that's ok too." His eyes search mine.
"I am definitely hungry!" I grin at him. "We really worked up a sweat there."
His face breaks into a wide smile, and I can see the crinkles form at the edges of his eyes. I almost swoon. "Ok, well what do you fancy?"
"Honestly?"
He nods.
I’m a little embarrassed to say it but..."I could really go for a burrito."
"Perfect!" He cries happily. "Did I mention I'm from Texas?” He asks with a wink. “Tex-mex is my favorite food!"
We both look at each other. "Hot sauce!" We say in unison, and then fall out with laughter.