Choose Me

by Hart, Delmire

  The cuts from the other day had started to heal, and he had spent much of his forced rest time thinking over what had happened and what Kessler had said. He didn’t fully agree with the man, but at the same time he understood the truth in the words. No longer did he feel guilt over the assassin but his mind still lingered over the soldiers. Alden had mentioned that he had a brother that joined the army and never returned. For all he knew, he could have been the one to kill him. But yet, he couldn’t say he would do something different in the same situation, even knowing the outcome.

  Kessler was right: They were soldiers and they had chosen that life but the villagers at Niska had not. They didn’t deserve having their homes be ransacked and their town pillaged. Or to have their people slaughtered and raped and whatever else a foreign invading army would have done. But knowing that still didn’t ease the guilt.

  Whatever anyone said, it was still not something he could come to terms with right this instant. Instead, there were more pressing things that required his attention. Like dressing and helping Luca pack for travelling. The beta chattered away like normal and Toru found himself incredibly relieved. He hadn’t spoken much with his friend due to his forced rest and the travel preparations but he had to admit, he thought it would have been more awkward now that Luca knew what he was.

  “You okay, Toru?” Luca asked as he peered over at him in genuine concern.

  “Yeah, sorry. I’m just surprised that you still want to be friends with me, is all.”

  The beta paused and searched his face before giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “I was pretty shocked, but after a few days I realised that you weren’t any different, not really. You had that power the entire time and you didn’t do anything mean or crazy. Master already knew, too, so I figured it was fine. He wouldn’t want to mate you if you were someone to be scared of.”

  Toru laughed, feeling the remaining stress evaporate at the beta’s reassurances. “I’m glad. I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t want to be friends anymore.”

  They were trading smiles when Kessler himself strode into the room. He was dressed more formally than Toru had ever seen him, in what looked to be a proper military jacket with stiff shoulders and shiny buttons complete with dark pants and shiny riding boots. It hugged his muscled figure in all the right places and Toru had to catch himself from blatantly giving the man a once over.

  “Morse is overseeing the last of the preparations, so go see if he needs a hand.” The alpha waited until Luca had disappeared before approaching Toru. If the smirk was any sign to go by, no doubt the alpha had noticed the faint change of his scent as his traitorous body reacted in interest. “I need to make a few things clear with you before we travel.”

  Toru glared at the commanding tone but Kessler drew up to his full height while his voice dropped. His voice was soft and deep but no less authoritative for it.

  “We will be outside of the safety of my domain and it’s exceedingly important that you follow my rules while we are away. Remember that everyone who sees this collar,” he stood close enough to reach up a hand to trace his fingers along the soft leather at his throat, “will know you are my pleasure slave and will treat you as such. Which means that they will mostly ignore you or they might look but not touch. Other servants and slaves at the palace may approach you and will most likely treat you with indifference or even malice. I need you to not react and carry on with whatever task you were doing. As you do here, you will stay with me and serve me. You will sit at my feet when not serving and you will not interact with anyone. You are to be a pretty pet; seen but not heard.”

  Toru glared in indignant anger but Kessler carried on, not letting him speak.

  “This is for your safety. If you stand out and draw people’s attention, then they will push for more. They will get curious and you could easily find yourself in the same situation as the other day: facing off with an assassin. This is most important during our stay in the small villages on our journey inland as well as during the wedding ceremony and subsequent feast. There is more safety in the palace proper and away from all the prying eyes at court, so you will be able to relax more there. Members of my family are also fine to relax around, since they will not let anything happen to you. Speaking of which, there are seven, soon to be eight, Kesslers so you should start getting used to calling me Ren. You are to be my mate after all.”

  The omega stared at him in shock for a moment. “Ren?” His voice came out in a choked whisper and he immediately flushed red. That felt very…intimate. The alpha smirked at him, clearly pleased with him trying out the name.

  “It sounds good when you say it. I should have gotten you to do so sooner.”

  Toru frowned at that, all thoughts of embarrassment fled. “I don’t understand. You call me yours, say I’ll be your mate then still expect me to make my choice and order me around as a slave. The way the household staff talk, it’s as though they are expecting a damn wedding once we are mated, yet you still call me property. How am I supposed to choose? What will really happen if I choose you? You treat me like a lover one moment and a slave the next. I don’t get it.”

  “I need you to choose.” Kessler moved in closer until their noses almost touched and it was all Toru could do to hold his ground as the alpha loomed over him. “I need to have you willingly or not at all. You are mine, as much as you deny it, but I need you to acknowledge it. I need you to give yourself to me completely. I don’t care for your reasons so long as they are your own, not given to you by someone else based on what if and maybes.”

  “Why? I’m your property already, so why?”

  “And have you waste away as you lose your will and power when your choice is removed? Or even if that doesn’t occur, what if you doubt me? How can I say I trust you when you don’t trust me? How can I have you stand next to me if you doubt? And worse still, what if you are a bearer and we have children? They will be targeted and any hesitation at all could cost their lives.

  “I need you to choose based on your own reasons. You’ve spent two months with me, you’ve seen me interact with my staff, with my other slaves, and with you. Make your own choice and embrace it wholeheartedly. But Toru, make it soon. It has already been two months and the days are counting down. If you wait too long and make it once the heat has seized you, it will be too late. I cannot trust the judgement of an omega in heat.”

  Kessler gave him one last lingering look before turning to the door. He paused in the doorway as though to speak one last time but in the end said nothing and left Toru standing frozen in the middle of the room.

  That was a perspective he had never considered. All this time and he had never once been able to see it from Kessler’s perspective. Is that why Litton had given him to Kessler as a pleasure slave? For safety, so he could decide on his own without outside forces trying to interfere? So he would know the people and culture and be ready to step up to stand beside Kessler once he was ready?

  Because the man was a Rokerean prince in line for the throne and Kessler had said before there was no illegitimacy here. Any children of theirs would join the line of succession too. That made them targets. But right now, as a slave as marked by the collar of ownership, he was ignored, barely worth a mention or a second glance. The collar kept him safe as much as it irked him.

  But what if it was taken off? What then?

  For all that his mind swirled with thoughts and emotions he knew he would get eaten alive by the Rokerean court right now if Kessler’s interactions with merchants and that alpha from the other day were anything to go by. Perhaps it wasn’t as simple as he had previously thought.

  But still, what did he really want?

  His heart screamed one thing and his mind another.

  He wasn’t an omega to be ruled by instincts and he valued his freedom but then, Kessler had never said he would take it away. It was only implied by how the Alpha/Omega bond worked. Hadn’t he always assumed that he would settle down at some point? Make a home
somewhere and maybe have a family?

  Was that not what Kessler, in essence, offered?

  Toru wanted the other man. He couldn’t deny it, not now. But he wasn’t ready. Not yet.

  Because when he decided to stand beside Kessler–no, Ren–then he wanted to do so with his shoulders thrown back and standing tall.

  Right now, he was just a weak little omega, confused and lost in this new world he had found himself in. But he would change that. He would be someone that could be proud to say he was Ren’s mate.

  And that Ren was his.

  Chapter 12: A Breath of Fresh Air

  Overall, the journey into the capital was rather boring. Toru was disappointed that he was relegated to travelling in the carriage with Luca and the other household servants while Kessler and the guards all got to ride on horses. The only consolation was that once Kessler had seen that Toru did actually know his way around a horse, he agreed to let him ride one of them one afternoon when they were in between villages. He had even had suitable clothing made for the omega for riding just in case.

  Unfortunately, it had been days on the road and it had been village after village. Sure, the scenery was nice but sitting still in the carriage all day had Toru ready to tear his hair out in frustration.

  Kessler had, of course, seen fit to wear him out in the evenings by continuing their hand to hand training then using those very same hands to wring multiple orgasms from his body under the guise of ‘scent marking’ him. Which Kessler needed to do considering they were travelling to a strange place, and the omega was unbonded, but the alpha was a little too enthusiastic about it. Toru had to admit that he appreciated the fact that the man didn’t try to push him any further yet, as he was beginning to think if he did, he might just give in. The thought left him with mixed feelings.

  He needed to find his own strength first before agreeing to tie himself to another for life. He wasn’t some weak little omega that needed to rely on an alpha for protection. No, he would be an equal partner or nothing at all.

  The carriage slowed to a stop and the grumbling of the omega’s stomach indicated that it was time for lunch. The other two servant girls in the carriage giggled at him and Luca laughed outright. Embarrassed, Toru fled from the vehicle first to find everyone pulling off the road into a small grassy field to break for lunch. It would be a fairly short affair most likely, no more than an hour before they continued on their way. Still, he wasn’t about to complain at the chance to stretch his legs and attempt to burn off a little energy before the monotonous ride continued.

  Carefully picking his way over the soft grass, Toru went to help Kessler with his horse; a giant black war stallion by the name of Masquerade that was surprisingly mild mannered. Or at least, he was with Toru. One guard nearly had his hand bitten when he approached him the other day but the horse had taken quite the shine to the little omega and would allow him to lead him around without fuss.

  He exhibited a great deal of patience with Toru but in return got fed sugar cubes, received extra brushing down, and a great deal of extra attention, so perhaps it all worked out. Every time he saw all the horses he was reminded painfully of his mild mannered little mare Hemlock who died because of him but it soothed something inside of him to look after these horses now in her stead.

  Toru reached Masquerade as Kessler swung out of the saddle and the large horse nuzzled into the omega’s shoulder as he gently patted the horse’s face and neck.

  “You really spoil him.”

  “Mmm, he’s a good horse. Aren’t you, Masquerade?” He giggled at the horse’s small snort as he pushed more affectionately against his shoulder.

  “While lunch is being prepared, you should go change into the riding clothing I brought for you. We are crossing over into the Vokusal Province and there will not be any more villages today, so we will make camp on the road tonight. Which means you may ride for some of the afternoon. You will borrow Cinnamon because Masquerade’s sweet on her so we shouldn’t have any trouble.” The alpha nodded to a guard who rode a beautiful chestnut mare and Toru whooped in happiness, causing Masquerade to snort at him again, apparently displeased with his sudden lack of attention.

  After giving a few last pats to the large black horse, Toru zipped back to the wagon carrying their luggage and rummaged around for his riding gear. He was so excited to finally get a chance to ride. If they were crossing over into the Vokusal Province then that meant that they were just under halfway to the capital. Luca had given him a lecture about the four Rokerean provinces right at the beginning of their journey.

  Cosa was the capital city of the Nohaivira Province, which Kessler governed and the second largest city in Rokere. The capital city, called Salantra, resided in the Vokusal Province that was ruled over by Kessler’s older brothers, one as the king and one as his steward. There were two other provinces that were also run by siblings of Kessler, although Toru couldn’t remember the names of those.

  The climate was also noticeably colder at night now and even the temperature during the day had decreased as they travelled further inland. While Toru didn’t actually feel the cold as such, temperature was still something he was aware of and it was a relief to not be in such blistering heat. He almost wished he hadn’t told Kessler about his inability to feel the cold if just for an excuse to wear something a little less revealing.

  Luca ambled over as he ducked back into the carriage to change and ended up helping him into the clothing.

  The soft leather riding pants felt oddly restricting after two months of wearing nothing but short skirts and he almost took the thick shirt off as soon as he put it on as that felt equally suffocating. It seemed as though he had gotten used to the revealing outfit and its lightweight manoeuvrability. Toru wanted to change back right then but was too conflicted over the thought to actually do so. Plus, he wanted to ride today.

  Lunch was a quiet affair of pre-prepared sandwiches and fruit. Toru caught himself unconsciously icing over the bottom of Kessler’s water skin and put it down with an embarrassed flush. Thankfully, no one other than the alpha knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop the smug smirk from appearing. It was nicer to drink cool water but he had done it before the thought even crossed his mind, much like the ice rose incident. Just because Jamil and Luca knew about him, didn’t mean that the rest of Kessler’s staff did.

  Finally, lunch was cleared away and the guards were all shooting amused glances at Toru as he hovered around Kessler, almost vibrating in excitement. Cinnamon’s owner led her over to the omega and handed him the reins after making a quick introduction then walked over to the wagon to take a place beside the driver.

  “Need a leg up?” Kessler smirked at him and Toru was about to scoff at the man when he realised that Cinnamon was taller than Hemlock had been and he struggled to mount her without a boost or something to stand on.

  “Fine,” he huffed out and squeaked as Kessler bodily picked him up and held him up to Cinnamon’s saddle. Stupid alpha and his stupid muscles. He swung his leg over and relished in the sense of freedom he got sitting atop a horse with the road in front of them. Kessler swung himself up onto Masquerade and then they were ambling onto the road at a sedate pace to allow for the carriage and wagon that were part of their group. Toru slipped back into old habits quickly and was happy just feeling the sun on his face, the wind in his hair, and the gentle rocking of the horse’s gait.

  It wasn’t long before he wanted something a little more exciting though. The mare danced underneath him, obviously sensing his change in mood.

  “Sooo…” Toru gently guided Cinnamon a little closer to Kessler. “Can we go for a gallop or something?”

  The alpha gave him an amused look that suggested he had been waiting for Toru to bring it up.

  “Are you sure?”

  The omega flashed him an affronted look and earned himself a loud laugh as the alpha threw his head back. It was the first time he had even seen the man laugh like that; loud and unrestrained. It made
him appear at lot more human than his normal stoic mask let on. Mollified by the laugh, Toru let the comment slide and urged his horse forward to pull away from the group.

  “Catch me if you can!” he called over his shoulder before pushing Cinnamon into a trot.

  Hooves sounded behind him and Kessler came level with him almost immediately, rising to his challenge. Toru shot him a wild grin and then they were off, hooves pounding into the road as they galloped ahead. He laughed with unrestrained joy at the feeling of freedom. The wind rushed in his face and the horse underneath him gave the impression they could go anywhere he chose.

  It was like the weight of the travel and the impending worry over their upcoming visit to the capital slid off his shoulders. It wasn’t long before they slowed to a walk again, it wouldn’t do to tire the horses too much as they still had a way to travel, and Toru laughed breathlessly in exhilaration.

  “Feel better?”

  “Yeah.” He flashed his alpha a beaming smile and received a soft look of affection in return. Embarrassed and a little shy over the openness being displayed, Toru turned his gaze back to the road. “Yeah,” he repeated quietly. “I needed that.”

  “Out here there’s a small space of freedom to lower your guard, I thought you might appreciate a little fun before you have to slip into a role in Salantra.”

  “Is it really that bad?”

  Kessler was quiet for moment in thought. “Yes and no. You won’t be exposed to most of it but there’s a saying bandied about in the capital that ‘even the walls have ears’. Nothing can be said or even hinted at while we are there that you do not want the world to know. People can pick up on your expressions and read novels from body language. You are particularly easy to read but being a slave, a bed slave at that, most will not bother to look too closely at you. Those who do are the ones you need to watch out for as they take nothing at face value.