Agent Darcy and Ninja Steve in...Mecha-Mole Mayhem!

by Grant Goodman

Steve leaped to his feet, held Sensei Raheem’s book tight against his side, and stepped into the hall. Sure enough, it was wrecked. Holes dug in the ground, scorch marks everywhere, and throwing knives stuck in the walls and the water fountain. There was even a gold-handled spear lying on the ground. Steve left it there.

  He ran along the wall in order to avoid all of the holes in the ground. From the looks of it, a brute mecha-mole had been in with the pack of scouts. There were tunnel entrances that were gigantic.

  When Steve reached the cafeteria, he found Sensei Raheem dispatching a mecha-mole by picking it up and rolling it like a bowling ball into the rest of its companions. Sensei Raheem was in a smoke-colored uniform that was only a few shades lighter than his skin. He carried a black, wooden baseball bat slung across his back, exactly like a sword. His short mohawk had gotten messed up in the fight and he was trying to readjust it.

  “Ninja Steve, I’m here to tell you that President Ninja has ended your prison term early,” said Sensei Raheem.

  Steve nodded. “Thank you. What about Nora?”

  “Since you two are the only prisoners in all of Ninjastoria, it makes sense to get both of you out of here,” he said.

  The prison was so quiet that Steve was even more uneasy than before. If there were battle sounds, he could at least know that there was danger up ahead. With everything so quiet, there was too much room for a surprise.

  “Sensei, are we at war?” Steve asked.

  “We are about to be, Ninja Steve,” said his teacher.

  “Why would the moles start a war?”

  “I guess you haven’t gotten to the part of my book about war, have you?” he said, gesturing at the book in Steve’s hand. “I hate to make it sound simple—because war is never simple, Ninja Steve. The short version is that The Mole Republic is still angry that we defeated the Mole Emperor. Even worse, it led to a brief collapse of their country while Prince Eldin and Princess Drogar fought for leadership. Once they finished battling each other, everything got sorted out, and Eldin took charge. Now, they’re united and they’re most likely here for revenge.”

  “Prince Eldin? Never heard of him,” said Ninja Steve.

  Sensei Raheem sighed, pulled a tomato out of his back pocket, and crushed it against the top of Steve’s head. “Ninja Steve, there was a written journal homework for my History of the Ninja Wars class. I should make you redo the assignment when this war is over.”

  Steve wiped some of the tomato juice out of his eyes. He felt that he actually deserved that one, so he didn’t protest. Plus, he was impressed that his sensei could somehow keep a tomato in his back pocket for an entire battle without crushing it.

  “Sensei, why did Prince Eldin have to fight Princess Drogar?” he asked.

  “Why don’t you ask him that right now?” said his sensei. “He’s standing right behind us.”

  DARCY

  If you looked at it from the right spot, the chemistry building was shaped exactly like the periodic table. There were 150 classrooms, one for each element that already existed, plus room for the next twenty that had yet to be discovered or created. In class, Sensei Poh-Shen had given a lecture about how some ninjas felt that the discovery of stealthium and bubblegumium marked the end of elemental discovery. Sensei Poh-Shen herself said that she wasn’t willing to make such a bold declaration.

  Ninja Steph was supposed to meet her, but it was already 6:56 and there was no sign of her. Darcy climbed the rope ladder up to the fourth floor and then passed through the secret bookcase to get to where the teacher offices were.

  Sensei Poh-Shen’s door was shaped like a beaker. She had a poster on the door that said, “The Most Important Element is the Element of Surprise.”

  Darcy knocked. She waited. She knocked again. She waited again.

  “Hello? Sensei? It’s Marcy. I’m here to see you.”

  Nothing. Darcy knocked two more times, then left. When she exited the building, she saw Ninja Steph and her best friend, Ninja Kelly, sitting on a bench. Ninja Steph pointed at her and then she and Kelly both started cracking up.

  Darcy felt a familiar fire awaken inside of her. She knew that it had to do with the ghost spirit that she carried within. Currently, the fire was telling her to march over to the two girls who had played a prank on her.

  “What is wrong with you?!” Darcy barked, shocking herself with the edge in her voice.

  That only made Steph laugh harder. “Because you’re so gullible.”

  Darcy ground her teeth together. She had to overpower her anger. She had to tame it.

  “What’s the matter, Marcy? Have you finally realized that you’re never going to be a real ninja like us?” Steph smiled.

  Ninja Kelly, however, had stopped laughing.

  “At least one of you is smart enough to feel scared,” said Darcy.

  “Oh? Is this about intimidation?” asked Steph. “I’ll have you know that my mother, Ninja Wendi, is one of the best ninja lawyers around. If you hurt me, I’ll sue you for everything you’re worth.”

  Darcy laughed. She had no money, no property. She was worth nothing. Even so, she knew it wasn’t worth striking Ninja Steph. Instead, Darcy turned and walked away.

  She was not followed.

  She knew she needed to find a good place to calm down, so she walked through the Field of Tall Purple Grass and then made a left turn in order to get to the Crystal Wind Chime Wall. Gertie had taken her here once before, on a day when she was really feeling down about the bureau’s decision to expel her.

  A winding path took her down through a tunnel, where a playful breeze guided her forward and led her out into a wide circle filled with stone benches. All around her was a cylindrical wall of solid crystal that went up and up. It was as if someone had carved the crystal so that it looked like a drinking straw for giants. There were patches of green and swirls of fiery red and the occasional spots of pink. The color wasn’t what made the place special, though.

  It was the music.

  The wind that ran with her through the tunnel came whipping out into the middle of it all, and that was what made the music happen. A soft whistle, a gentle hum, and something that almost sounded like a soothing “laaaaa” filled her ears.

  According to Gertie, no one knew who had done it, but some ninja had carved holes in parts of the crystal wall, so that when the wind rushed over it, the entire cavern would fill with peaceful notes.

  Darcy sat on the ground, rested her back against one of the stone benches, and let the soft singing of the wind ease her thoughts.

  “This isn’t so bad,” said a voice inside her head.

  Toran had gone completely silent since he spoke to her in Botsylvania.

  “I didn’t know you’d care about music,” Darcy thought.

  “Every creature loves music.”

  “Why weren’t you like this when we first encountered you?” Darcy asked.

  “Being sealed up in a vase for years will fill you with rage.”

  “Right,” Darcy thought, and then she remembered that even if Toran was enjoying the music, he had been considered dangerous enough that the ninjas had sent Steve’s parents and her parents to capture him all those years ago. “So, do you get to know all of my thoughts now?”

  “No. You can’t read any of mine, can you?”

  She couldn’t.

  “How does this work, then?” she asked. “You haven’t spoken in weeks.”

  “I’m not sure. There’s a magic at work here that I know nothing about. I think that masked man did something.”

  “His name is Three,” Darcy thought. “I don’t know what he wants out of all of this. I know that he isn’t any good.”

  “Hmmmm,” Toran mused.

  “How do I set you free?” Darcy asked.

  She waited thirty seconds before realizing that she would not be receiving a response. Toran had vanished again.

  Darcy let the music wash over her. She did a few sets of meditative breathing before walking out and head
ing back to Gertie’s house. Along the way, the paths were empty and the streets were whisper-quiet. In a way, she felt that it was how a ninja village was meant to be: seemingly empty and silent. Yet, after living here, she knew it meant something was terribly wrong.

  When she got home, Ninja Gertie and her husband, Ninja Morris, were both seated on the ceiling in their rocking chairs.

  “Have you heard the news?” Gertie asked.

  Darcy shook her head.

  “The mecha-moles dug into Ninjastoria and attacked. This was probably a quick test of our defenses, but in a little while, I’m sure they’ll throw everything they’ve got at us.”

  Cold dread filled Darcy. If the mecha-moles were here, it meant that they had beaten the Bureau of Sneakery. And if they were powerful enough to do that, then what chance did Ninjastoria have?

  “Is…is there anything I should do?” Darcy asked.

  “We’re going to need all of the ninjas we can get in order to defend our country,” Gertie said.

  “I’ll try to help you, then.”

  “No, Marcy, that’s not good enough,” Gertie said. “You’re not going to try to help. You’re going to help us win.”

  Darcy stood a little taller. “Yes, sensei.”

  “Tomorrow morning, Marcy, I’m accelerating your training. You’ll be standing on the ceiling in no time, and that will be the least impressive thing you can do.”

  All her life, Darcy had felt the only place she would ever belong would be the Bureau of Sneakery. Now, a new sense of pride filled her from head to toe.

  It was time to dig deeper, to make better use of every minute, and to put every ounce of her energy into becoming a full-fledged ninja.

  STEVE

  Steve stared at Prince Eldin.

  The prince’s green skin had flecks of gold in it and his mechanical claws were golden, to match. Prince Eldin was a towering, powerful figure, almost twice as tall as Sensei Raheem. Unlike the scouts, he wore full battle armor: a scratched-up golden helmet, black and gold boots, and a chest plate that was covered in dents from previous fights. In his hands, he carried a long pole with a drill bit on each end.

  “Go on,” said the prince, looking down at Steve as if he was a beetle. “Ask me the question that’s on your mind.”

  “Who’s standing behind you?” Steve asked.

  It was not the question that Prince Eldin was expecting. Standing behind him, however, was a forest-green mecha-mole who was a full head taller than Steve, yet way shorter than Eldin. The armor on this mole was a dull brown, as opposed to the prince’s flashy gold, and he wore glasses that clipped across his snout.

  “I am—” started the smaller mole.

  “This is my son and the heir to the throne of The Mole Republic,” said Eldin. “Prince Elom.”

  Steve noticed that Elom’s armor was completely unscathed. It was a curious contrast to his father’s.

  “I’ve never been friends with a prince,” said Steve. “Elom, we should be friends.”

  Elom shuddered at the suggestion. “Friends? With a monster like you?”

  Steve bristled. No one had ever called him a monster. A distraction or a nuisance or a fructose frog-licker, sure. Never a monster, though.

  Eldin put an end to their exchange. “My son’s only connection to the ninjas will be defeating them in battle and taking control of Ninjastoria once it has fallen.”

  Steve looked at Eldin, then at Elom, who adjusted his glasses and shifted his weight from side to side.

  “It looks to me like Elom is nervous about that,” thought Steve.

  Sensei Raheem cleared his throat. He rolled his hand around in the air, gesturing for Eldin to get on with it. Steve also noticed that Sensei Raheem was holding a fresh tomato.

  “Raheem, I can hear the spirit of my father calling on me to destroy you,” said Eldin. “So, here we go.”

  He struck with his drill spear at the exact same time that Sensei Raheem threw his tomato. The fruit burst apart the moment it hit the spear, splattering red juice and tomato guts right into Eldin’s face.

  Steve turned his attention to Prince Elom, who was taking small steps his way. Perhaps this was a trick to disguise his true warrior capacity. Let the enemy underestimate you, then totally overwhelm him.

  “Okay, ninja,” said Elom. “Today will be your last day of eating cooked ninja meat. I hope you enjoyed your breakfast, you cannibal.”

  Steve was so shocked by this comment that when Elom threw a punch, Steve didn’t move to block it. Lucky for Steve, Elom’s sloppy punch didn’t hurt at all.

  “Haha!” said Elom. “Your martial arts are no match for mine. I bet that you regret not eating more fried ninja for breakfast.”

  Steve shook his head. What was this kid talking about? What kind of bizarre dream was this? Surely, this had to be a dream.

  The young prince opened his claws and Steve snapped back to attention. Even a light graze from those would hurt.

  “We don’t eat fried ninja. That would be gross. Plus, eating fried stuff isn’t healthy,” he said.

  Steve dodged a claw swipe and elbowed Elom’s battle armor. Immediately, Steve regretted it. He had hit his funny bone and there was absolutely nothing funny about it.

  The prince yelped and dropped to the ground, clutching his stomach. He rolled around.

  “Help!” he shouted. “Dad, he’s going to capture me and make me a slave and force me to cook ninja stew for their evil schools in the mornings!”

  Sensei Raheem, who was busy trying to avoid Prince Eldin’s spear attacks, roared with laughter. “That’s right, Steve! Remember, we need as much help with the stew as we can get, especially for tomorrow. We have a lot of our own people to cook, so don’t you dare let him escape!”

  Prince Elom clasped his claws together. “I can’t believe you cheated in order to defeat me!”

  In a flash, Prince Eldin abandoned his fight with Sensei Raheem. He scooped up his son and backed off.

  “Incredible,” said Eldin. “This ninja student of yours had to stoop to cheating in order to defeat my son. Raheem, this is disgraceful.”

  Sensei Raheem crossed his arms.

  “Tell President Ninja he has five days to surrender to me and my forces,” said Eldin.

  The prince and his son dug into the earth and vanished in a spray of dirt and rocks, leaving behind a very confused Ninja Steve and a very amused Sensei Raheem.

  “Sensei, did I get a concussion?” asked Ninja Steve. “Because I have no idea what’s going on. He accused us of being cannibals. Then, I hit that kid once and he collapsed and accused me of not fighting fair. That can’t be right.”

  Sensei Raheem gave Steve a thumbs-up. “That was exactly what you should expect from fighting a spoiled prince, Ninja Steve. His father thinks the boy is a great warrior, yet you have proven that Prince Elom is, in fact, a real marshmallow. I cannot wait to share this information with the Ninja War Council of War Stuff.”

  It gave Steve a thought. Was Elom actually a spoiled brat? Was he actually a wimp? What if he wasn’t into fighting? Or what if he was much better at solving crossword puzzles? Steve made a promise to himself to find out more about the young prince.

  “Sensei Raheem,” Steve asked, “is there really going to be a war?”

  His teacher’s expression darkened. “You know I won’t lie to you, Ninja Steve. There is a ninety-nine percent chance that we’ll go to war. Prince Eldin doesn’t like to negotiate and President Ninja won’t surrender. The moles will attack in five days, so do lots of stuff that makes you happy. Or, if you’re really scared of something, face your fear, like it says in chapter twenty-three of my book.”

  Sensei Raheem made sure that Steve got back to his house. Before Steve went inside, though, he flipped through the book until he found chapter twenty-three. It was a short one.

  Sensei Raheem wrote that in order to make war less scary, it helped to do something that really scared you.

  Steve thought for a while and
after a few minutes, he had figured out exactly what scary thing he wanted to do.

  DARCY

  In the morning, Darcy, Gertie, and Morris all gathered around the television to watch President Ninja’s speech.

  President Ninja wore his own version of a military outfit. His black uniform had three metal moustache pins on each of his shoulders. They were white, purple, and green.

  “Each pin stands for a different act of valor,” said Gertie. “Although, rumor has it that some of those acts of valor include card tricks and knock-knock jokes.”

  There was a sinking feeling in Darcy’s stomach. President Ninja was hard to take seriously sometimes, which made today’s event feel extra strange.

  He stood in front of a plain white background. There was no podium. It was only President Ninja, his decorated uniform, his presidential moustache pinned to the outside of his mask, and his words.

  “My fellow ninjas, many of you lived through our first clash with the mecha-moles. You know that we fought battles on their territory, not ours. You know of the heroism that resulted in the defeat of the Mole Emperor and the retreat of his armies. Even so, it was an ugly, ugly war.

  “There are children in Ninjastoria who are either too young to remember the war or have been lucky enough to grow up in a world that hasn’t seen war in a long time. I am sorry to say that war has returned.”

  For the first time, Darcy saw President Ninja as a normal person. This somber news was hurting his heart and it was as clear as crystallium.

  “Prince Eldin, the current leader of The Mole Republic, appeared in Ninjastoria last night. He was met by none other than Sensei Raheem. He told Raheem that we had five days to surrender before he directed his army to attack us.

  “Because Prince Eldin is not available for follow-up questions, I do not know if yesterday counted as day one. We have to assume that today is day two. What I do know is that all of Ninjastoria’s battle squads will need to meet at noon today.

  “The mecha-moles will not have to attack our borders. They will be able to burrow right underneath of us and attack wherever they please. The mecha-moles are also able to eat metal, so I recommend that all ninjas find their baseball bats, bo staffs, bokken, and other wooden weapons. Remember the old saying: ‘Sticks and stones may break some bones, but so will baseball bats, bo staffs, bokken, and other wooden weapons.’