by Robin Storey
‘Haven’t you two finished yet?’ Ellen’s voice floated out from inside.
We both jumped up and I gave Frankie a long, hard kiss. ‘Think of a plan of escape – the best way we can do it as soon as possible. Can I ring you tomorrow on Ellen’s phone?’
Frankie nodded. ‘Good luck with Sarah.’ She hesitated. ‘I feel bad for her.’
Chapter 25
‘WHAT do you mean there’s someone else?’
Sarah had turned deathly pale. I couldn’t bear to look at her.
‘Her name’s Frankie. I met her a few years ago, before you and I got together. And she’s come back into my life again.’
‘Frankie – isn’t that the woman you got up on stage to sing with you that time?’
‘Yes.’
‘I thought at the time there was something between the two of you. So when did this Frankie’ – she spat out the name – ‘come back into your life?’
‘A few weeks ago.’
We were sitting on the living room couch after dinner. Sarah had the TV remote control in her hand, about to press the ‘on’ button, when I broke the news to her. I thought she was going to throw it at me, but instead she threw it on the coffee table and put her hands over her face. ‘God, I don’t believe it! Tell me it’s not true.’
After a few moments of agonising silence, she took her hands away from her face and looked me in the eye. ‘And of course you’ve been screwing her.’
‘Actually I haven’t.’ Technically it was true. She hadn’t asked about hugging or kissing.
‘You really expect me to believe that?’
‘It’s true. She’s in a relationship with a violent partner.’ I owed her the truth so I told her everything, starting from when I first met Frankie in court, while Sarah stared at me, wild-eyed.
‘I can’t believe she’s the girlfriend of the guy who held you up! You’re planning to run off with a woman who screws an armed robber and God knows who else?’
I said nothing. I wasn’t in a position to protest about her slur on Frankie’s sexual behaviour.
‘And I suppose she’s got a tribe of kids?’
‘Two.’ I took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry, there’s no easy way to break this to you. One of them is mine. He’s five, he was conceived just before Gisbourne got out of jail.’
‘God, it just gets worse.’ She put her hands over her face again and her shoulders shook as she sobbed silently. I stared at the blank TV screen, desperately wanting to reach out and comfort her. She looked up, red-eyed. ‘‘I hope you’re happy; you’ve got the child you wanted.’
‘I’m sorry. I know it’s horrible for you to hear that. It was a shock to me too – I didn’t find out till very recently. Which is one of the reasons I have to go. I have a responsibility to him now to raise him as best I can. Frankie and I are taking the children and probably heading off interstate.’
‘Very noble of you – all for your son’s sake, of course. Not because you want to run off and bang some chick who’s been hanging out with the scum of the earth all her life.’
She shook her head. ‘I just don’t get this.’ She looked at me as if I were an insect under a microscope. ‘And I don’t get you, Will. Suddenly I have no idea who the hell you are. I’ve been married to a complete stranger for the past three years.’
She picked up her car keys from the kitchen sideboard. ‘I’m going out. And you’d better be gone by the time I get back.’
Chapter 26
I THREW some clothes and toiletries into an overnight bag and booked into a motel down the road. I could have stayed with my parents, but I wasn’t in the mood for explanations right now. Or disapproval. Most of my friends, also lawyers, had drifted away after I left the profession; and the couple I was still in contact with had wives and families, and I didn’t want to impose on them.
I watched TV until midnight, with no recollection of what I’d seen, and went to bed. But thoughts and memories whirling around in my head kept me wide awake. Sarah and me, the first time we made love at her place, when she’d blurted out that she loved me as she made me scrambled eggs the next morning, our garden wedding on a sparkling spring day, the sun shining on our marriage, my parents smiling and clapping, happy that I’d married a girl they liked and approved of. The expression on Sarah’s face when I broke the news, how swift and terrible was the anger and hurt and the ultimatum to leave. Not that I blamed her for one moment. She’d done absolutely nothing wrong except love me. I was now one of those men I’d always despised, who left their wife for another woman.
When I eventually drifted off to sleep, I had a nightmare in which Eddie was chasing me down a dark alley brandishing a knife; and when he caught me, he morphed into Sarah. She was just about to plunge the knife into me when I woke up. It was 10 o’clock and the sun was streaming in through the curtains. I’d forgotten to set my phone alarm. I sprang out of bed and checked my phone. Two missed calls from Delia. I rang her back and said I’d be there in half an hour.
#
I apologised profusely to Delia. She regarded me with concern. ‘You haven’t been yourself lately. Is everything all right at home?’
‘Yes, fine.’ I suddenly realised I’d have to give notice. I’d do it tomorrow; I couldn’t face it today.
I tried to keep my mind on the task at hand as I saw my first client of the day, a young man with dreadlocks and dull eyes, who didn’t want to hear the news that he’d have to give up smoking weed to pay off his phone and credit card debts. As soon as he was out the door, I phoned Ellen. She answered and handed me over to Frankie.
‘How did you go last night?’ she asked.
‘Not good. She threw me out, so I’m staying at a motel down the road.’
‘I’m so sorry. I feel terrible, Will. You’re breaking up your marriage for me but I want you to; so I feel bad about that and if I try not to feel bad about it, I feel bad about not feeling bad, and I want to start a new life with you more than anything, you, me and the kids but I’m really scared...’
‘Listen, Frankie, I know you’re feeling bad about my marriage. We’re both feeling bad, but your life takes precedence. Your life, just as much as our life. Have you thought about a plan of escape?’
‘Yes. I don’t think you should come to the house, Eddie’s too unpredictable. He’s lost his job and sometimes he’s away all day, and other times he mopes around the house, looking for things to go psycho about. I think it should just happen on a normal work day, and I’ll do the normal routine things. I’ll get ready for work, and get Jake and Aimee ready for kindy and day care. I’ll leave the house at the usual time, and then I’ll meet you somewhere, and we can swap cars and go.’
‘Where should we meet?’
‘There’s a park down the road from the day care; we can meet there.’
‘And you’ll just leave your car there?’
‘Unless you’ve got a better suggestion.’
‘I don’t like that idea. An abandoned car will get the police involved. They’ll trace the registration and when they find out you and the kids have disappeared, they might start thinking along the lines of abduction and murder. Next thing you know, there’s a police alert out for you and our cover’s blown. I suppose you can’t catch a bus or train?’
‘If Eddie’s home, he’ll ask me why I’m not taking the car. He’ll be suspicious straight away.’
I thought for a few moments. ‘There’s no way around it. I’ll have to come and pick you up from the house. It will have to be a spur-of-the-moment thing – you pick a time after Eddie’s left the house and you know he’s going to be away for a while, text me straight away and I’ll come and get you.’
‘I still don’t like the idea of you coming to the house. What if I wait until Eddie goes out, then the kids and I will walk to the shops. There’s a little shopping centre a couple of blocks away called The Groves – you can meet us there.’
‘Okay. Where would you like to go?’
‘What about G
osford? I think it would be kind of nice to live in the same town where Jake lived. And Colin and Leonie are only an hour’s drive away.’
‘That’s a great idea. Maybe we can book into the same motel we stayed in, for old time’s sake.’
‘You’re such a romantic.’ I could hear the smile in her voice. ‘But what if Eddie puts out a missing persons report on me?’
‘When we get to Gosford, we’ll go to the police, tell them the story and that we don’t want your whereabouts divulged for safety reasons. They can pass on the message that you’re alive and well if Eddie starts kicking up a fuss.’
‘You’ve got more trust in the cops than I have. But I guess we don’t have a choice.’
‘We need to do this as soon as we can. From now on, I’ll have my phone on me 24/7 and as soon as the opportunity comes up, text me. Use your own phone this time. Eddie won’t have a chance to get hold of it. Wait for my reply to make sure I received your message, grab the kids and go straight to the shopping centre. Don’t pack anything – that’ll slow you down – just leave with what you’re wearing. We can buy new stuff when we get to Gosford.’
‘I never knock back an opportunity to buy new gear.’ She paused. ‘Have you told your family?’’
‘Not yet, I’ll tell them today.’
‘I know what they’ll say – what are you doing, throwing away a good job and marriage to go off with some crim’s used and abused girlfriend from the wrong side of the tracks?’
She was spot on there; only they wouldn’t put it quite so crudely.
‘I’m a big boy, I can handle it. I’ve got to go; I’ve got a client waiting. Be brave, baby, and it will all work out, you’ll see. And remember I love you.’
‘Ditto.’ The smile was there again in her voice.
Chapter 27
MY PARENTS’ reaction was as I’d expected. As I sat in their living room, with Steph present as well, all eyes were on me as I briefly recounted the facts in an objective, lawyerly fashion. I wished I’d taken the coward’s way out and phoned them. But I knew I’d be glad later that I hadn’t.
Shock, horror and, of course, disapproval. But muted, as if I’d exhausted those emotions in them and this was what they expected of me now. My father just shook his head and said ‘Jesus Christ’ several times instead of his usual ranting. My mother was the vocal one, with the predictable comments about being selfish, throwing my life away and how could I do this to Sarah? But they were uttered with an air of resignation, as if realising they would have no effect on my behaviour. And it was true, their reactions failed to touch me. It was as if I’d grown a hide so thick that no criticism or condemnation could penetrate it.
The phone rang. My father left the room to answer it, leaving an uncomfortable silence. Steph, who’d been silent up until now, said, ‘I always knew you didn’t love Sarah. And I figured that when the day came that you fell head over heels with someone else, there’d be problems.’
‘Really, dear?’ Mum said. ‘I had no inkling of that. I thought Will and Sarah made a lovely couple.’
‘We did,’ I agreed. ‘And Steph’s right. I don’t love Sarah, not in the way I love Frankie. And I admit I made a mistake in marrying her; I’ve completely stuffed up her life.’
‘And this boy, are you sure he’s yours?’ Mum asked.
‘Yes, I’m sure,’ I snapped, forestalling any further discussion on the issue.
Mum sighed. ‘You have to realise this is a lot for us to take in – I’ve got another grandson I’ve never met. Are you going to tell Nick?’
‘I’ll phone him when I get home.’ Thankfully, Nick was at an international law conference in London, so I didn’t have to endure him face to face.
Steph came down to the car with me as I was leaving. She refused my help, labouring her way down the front steps, holding on to the railing. When she reached the bottom, I wrapped her in a bear hug. ‘I’m so proud of you. The doctors said you’d never get out of your wheelchair, and look at you! You’ll be running a triathlon before you know it. I wish I had half your courage.’
‘Careful, you’ll knock me off my feet and ruin all my efforts,’ she laughed. Her face became serious. ‘You’ve got a ton of courage, bro. It took real guts to walk away from your job, and all the income and status that goes with it to be a financial counsellor. And put up with all the family’s flak. And it’s taking a hell of a lot of guts to do what you’re doing now, especially with that Eddie character in the mix. I just hope it’s the right decision. For you.’
‘Don’t worry, it’s the right decision. For me, Frankie and the children.’
‘Text me as soon as you get to Gosford. Then I can breathe a sigh of relief. And don’t worry about Nick – block your ears. Or even better, hang up on him.’
#
It was 10 pm by the time I got back to my motel. I’d moved to one in Lidcombe, closer to Frankie, so that I could be at The Groves shopping centre within 15 minutes of her calling. I rang Nick, but his phone went straight to voicemail so I left a message. He rang back just as I was getting into bed.
‘I’ve already heard the news,’ he said. So Mum had been in his ear already – or maybe it was Steph, warning him to soften the impact on me.
‘I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing. Throwing your life down the toilet to go on the run with this tart and her kids. Do you realise Gisbourne will kill you if he finds you?’
‘Let me deal with that,’ I said. ‘And we’re not going on the run; we’re going interstate to start a new life.’
Why did I bother explaining? He never listened.
Nick was talking to someone in the background. ‘What? Look, sorry, I’ve got to go. I’m giving a presentation in a few minutes. For God’s sake, be careful. I don’t want to see you in the headlines of next Sunday’s tabloids.’
I was just about to say, ‘I’ll try not to spoil your breakfast,’ but I stopped myself. For once, I resisted getting sucked into the usual verbal slanging match. I mustered a tone of warmth and sincerity. ‘Thanks for your concern, I appreciate it.’
There was a pause. ‘No worries. Keep in touch,’ Nick muttered.
That was the first time in my living memory he’d said those words.
#
I gave notice to Delia as soon as I arrived at work. Despite her curious but gentle probing, I hadn’t divulged much of my personal life, so I gave her the bare bones. I didn’t tell her about the domestic violence or Eddie’s threats. I knew she’d be full of motherly concern as it was, without giving her more to worry about. She listened without judgment or comment.
‘I’m sorry, I know this is really inconvenient for you. I’m giving two weeks’ notice from today. But I’ll probably leave sooner.’
Delia sighed. ‘It certainly is inconvenient. It’s very difficult to find people with financial expertise and counselling skills. But I’m just as concerned about you. That’s a big step you’re taking, I just hope it works out for you.’ She patted my arm. ‘I’ll miss you. And so will the clients. Remember Noah, the young chap who got cranky when you told him he’d have to give up cannabis?’
I nodded. Noah had stalked out in a sulk, refusing to make another appointment.
‘He rang yesterday after you’d left for the day and asked me to pass on a message. He said he’d cut his weed down from $100 to $50 a week. And he’s going to pay off his drug debts then come in and see you.’
I grinned. ‘It’s a step forward – cutting down the cannabis anyway. Not so sure about the drug debts. But I’m sure you’ll be able to handle his cheek.’
Chapter 28
IT HAD been a week since I’d left home. I’d sent a couple of text messages to Sarah asking how she was, but she’d replied with ‘Go away and leave me alone’. I decided to try phoning this time; so after a dinner of tough steak and overcooked vegetables in the motel restaurant, I rang her.
To my surprise, she answered. ‘What do you want?’
‘I just wanted to see
if you’re okay.’
‘As if you’d care. Have you left yet?’
‘No. Can we meet up some time soon? I don’t want to go without seeing you and well ... explaining things.’
‘I don’t want to hear your pathetic explanations. I always knew you didn’t love me in the same way I loved you; but I thought it didn’t matter, that it would change over the years and we could still have a good life together. Pretty naïve, wasn’t I?’
‘No, you weren’t. It could easily have happened if...’
‘Yeah, the big if. And in answer to your question, no, I don’t want to meet up, just so you can try to salve your conscience with your excuses and justifications.’
‘There won’t be any excuses or justifications. I just want to tell you how it is. And that it’s nothing to do with anything that you’ve said or done or not said or done. You’ve been great, more than I deserve.’
She gave a bitter laugh. ‘The old “it’s not you, it’s me” line.’
‘Please, Sarah, just give me this one chance to talk to you.’
She gave a sigh of exasperation. ‘Okay, tomorrow afternoon at 2 pm. Not at home. Hannah’s Cafe around the corner.’
Tomorrow was Saturday. I had nothing planned except sitting around waiting for Frankie’s text message.
‘Thanks, I really appreciate it. See you then.’
Chapter 29
I SAT in my motel room trying to concentrate on an old Robert Ludlum paperback I’d picked up at the second-hand bookshop down the road. I’d been restless all week since speaking to Frankie, feeling trapped within the four walls of my motel room. But when I went out for a walk in the fresh air, I was too much on edge to enjoy it and ended up coming straight back.
My phone beeped. My heart jumped as I grabbed it. One text message. ‘He just left to go fishing, am about to leave. Will be outside Delish Donuts at The Groves in half an hour.’